


Road To You

by dunkinphantom



Category: Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera & Related Fandoms, Le Fantôme de l'Opéra | Phantom of the Opera - Gaston Leroux
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Also fluff, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Angst, Anxiety, Blood and Gore, Blow Jobs, Body Horror, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Humiliation, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Minor Character Death, Murder, Nadir's POV, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Racism, Supernatural Elements, Torture, implied depression, sometimes other characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-15
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-08-08 03:28:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 85,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7741645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dunkinphantom/pseuds/dunkinphantom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Nadir returning to his hometown after 4 years, he hopes to have peace with his past. But when the dead reenters his life, he discovers about his old friend’s past and his devils.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: The Burnt House**

**10.23.1993 [past]**

_Nadir Khan cried when he first met Erik. He was only eight years old, and in a foreign country. He didn’t speak one word of their language, and the only thought he had was to return home. The sunny days in Iran, playing with his friends, and eating grandmother’s delicious food._

_The children of the small town picked on him, saying things he couldn’t understand but somehow he knew it wasn’t kind. It wasn’t better at school; he didn’t understand any of it and they laughed at him. Don’t get him wrong, he wanted to learn the language, but the teachers barely gave him the attention. His parents didn’t have the time to teach him too._

_One day the children chased him down after school. Nadir remembered riding his bike very quickly down the hill, to escape them. He took a sharp turn, and his front wheel slipped. He fell on the muddy ground, his clothes stained. He tried to stand up fast, he tried to escape, but he heard the wheels stopping behind his back before he got the chance._

_They laughed at the sight of him; his clothes stained with mud and his hair caked with it too. One kid said something, and they laughed harder. Nadir hated them. He hated their laughter. He hated not understanding what they’re saying. He wanted to go home._

_One kid grabbed him by his arm, and pulled him to his group. Nadir kicked him, and he tried to bite in his arm. The kid gave a surprised yell, and pushed Nadir back in the mud. Laughter echoed again on the hill. Tears puddled in Nadir’s eyes. He never felt so embarrassed._

_The laughter stopped abruptly. Nadir looked up to see why, and he saw them watching in fear something behind him. He looked over his shoulder, and saw a tall, skinny boy running towards them. He had a big rock in his hand, ready to throw at their direction._

_The group quickly rode off on their bikes before the boy could reach them. The skinny boy passed Nadir, and he threw the rock at the group, but it didn’t hit anyone. He yelled something, and Nadir’s eyes got wide. His voice was... beautiful, although he was yelling probably something nasty to the group._

_Nadir stood up, grabbing his bike from the ground. He looked back at this boy who saved him from further embarrassment. He sniffed, and he swept his tears away._

_The boy turned to him, and Nadir’s heart skipped a beat, when a white mask looked at him. Everything in him told him to run away, to leave this boy alone, but Nadir stood frozen on his spot._

_The boy saw him looking at his mask, and he smiled nervously (his mouth was the only thing visible, well that, and his yellow eyes). He kept his distance, as if he knew that Nadir was scared, and he said something. Nadir shook his head._

_“I can’t understand language.” he tried. That’s what his dad taught him immediately. He hoped he said it correctly._

_It was quiet for a while, and then the boy nodded. He placed his hand on his skinny chest, looking at Nadir. “I’m Erik.” he said._

_Erik. His name was Erik. “My name… Nadir.” he replied._

_“Nice to meet you, Nadir.”_

**6.23.2007 [present]**

His phone buzzes on his dashboard, and Nadir tries his goddamn best to ignore it. He listens to Raoul who tries every single change station on the radio, while complaining about country music. In the backseat Christine is sleeping quietly, no care for the world around her.

Raoul finds his favorite radio station, and then he notices the buzzing phone right before him. He looks at Nadir, and then back again to the phone. “So, um,” he hesitates. “Who are you ignoring?”

Nadir sits more upright, his hands gripping the steer wheel firmly. “My lovely parents, of course! Damn them!” and he means it. He knew he hasn’t been the best son the past 4 years when he went to Paris, and barely contacted them. But damn. “Their son comes home after 4 years and what do they do? Go on a little vacation trip to Greece suddenly!”

Raoul stays quiet, just watching him. The phone went silent. Nadir sighs. “Sorry about this.” he says, relaxing his hands. The trip to his old hometown hasn’t been something he planned to do this summer, but his friends insisted. They said he was always alone in Paris, curled in his dark apartment, and his parents surely want to see him again. So they tagged along and planned to stay for a week, before they went to Spain on a two week vacation in the Chagny villa.

“You’re kidding!” Raoul says suddenly, a smile on his face. “We will have the house all for ourselves!” he turns a bit to watch Christine. “Right, Christine!?”

Christine groans in her sleep. “Whatever you say, darling.” she murmurs. Nadir smiles at her response, also understanding that Raoul is trying to cheer him up.

“Thank you.” he says.

Raoul nods to him. “We’re here for you. If you want, you can come with us to Spain after the week. My parents wouldn’t mind.”

“No, I really can’t –”

“What? Do you think we will let you stay alone in your parents’ home? How is that different than your apartment?” Raoul interrupts him, raising one eyebrow at him. “You will come.”

“What happened to ‘if you want’, hmm?” Nadir teases.

Raoul waves his hand, like he’s trying to scare away a fly. “Never said it.”

“You just said –”

“Never, Nadir.”

Nadir laughs, his shoulders shaking. “Okay, I’ll come with you.” he says finally. Raoul smiles triumphantly.

The rest of the drive is quiet, except for the music on the radio. Raoul leans his head on the window and quickly he falls asleep too, like his girlfriend. Far too soon, Nadir sees the sign welcoming them to _Boscherville_ and the familiar white church. Oh, the many times he broke in the church at night with – he shakes his head. No, he won’t think about _him_.

He drives up to his old house, parking right before it. He rest his head on the steering wheel, taking three deep breaths. He can do this. He wakes up Raoul and Christine, and gets out of his car. He looks up to his old home, his stomach turning. If he is being honest, he never expected to return here. His life in Paris is good, he made new friends there and his past doesn’t haunt him.

“Are you going to keep staring or are you going to help us?” Christine says, interrupting his thoughts, and closing the door behind her. Nadir looks at her, and sees that she is teasing him and not being serious about it.

“Oh my, sorry Princess, I should get your suitcases because surely, a girl like yourself can’t handle such weight.” he teases back, opening the rear of his car. He grabs their suitcases and puts them on the ground. Christine giggles, and grabs her suitcase.

“Thank you, my good Sir.”

Nadir laughs with her, and watch how Raoul stumbles out the car all clumsily. Somehow, he feels much better than a second ago. Maybe, just maybe, he can make new good memories here. He opens the door to his house and immediately got attacked by a huge, sand brown dog. Nadir shrieks, not expecting the weight landing on him, and he falls on his back.

The dog licks over his whole face, her tail wagging excitedly. “Good girl, Ana.” Nadir tries to speak, without getting the dog’s spit in his mouth.

“Are you okay, Nadir?” Christine says concerned, while looking at the dog.

“I’m okay, this is the family dog, Ana.” Nadir sits upright, petting his old dog. “But I thought she would be at an kennel.” He stands up and sends Ana back into the house. “I guess not.”

“Well, she’s adorable.” Christine says in relief.

They walk into the house, and Nadir gets hit by the familiar views and smells. The spicy herbs are strong in the open kitchen, as always, and really nothing has changed. Still the old television, the ugly brown wallpaper in the living room, to the Persian carpet, that probably stinks of dog. Christine and Raoul look around, taking in their surroundings.

Ana goes back to her basket, her tail still waggling. Nadir still finds it strange that his parents forgot her. Did they just assumed he would take care of her? What if he decided he wouldn’t come anymore after the phone call? She would’ve starved to death.

He immediately goes to search for dog food, which he finds quickly. He fills the bowl with kibble, and Ana looks up at the sound. To his surprise she doesn’t jump up eagerly to eat. Maybe they gave her food before they went on their vacation.

“You have view on the church!” Christine says suddenly, looking out the window.

“It’s hard not to see that church. Everybody can see it from their houses, I bet.” Raoul replies.

Nadir nods, walking in their direction. He sees the huge church, and the garden around it. The sun is high, and there’s no cloud in the sky, so the church is more beautiful than ever. “I have broke into the church with a friend of mine.” He says abrupt, not knowing why. He wouldn’t think about him “He would play the organ in the middle of the night.”

“I thought you were Muslim.” Christine says.

“I am, my friend just liked to play the organ and I liked to hear him play. He was pretty great.”

“ _Was_? This friend doesn’t play anymore?”

Nadir looks away to look at Christine. “He… He’s deceased,” he says quietly, not sure if Christine even heard him. “He passed away seven years ago.”

Christine looks sad, her mouth opening but closing again, not sure what to say. Raoul places a hand on Christine’s shoulder, while looking at Nadir. “We’re sorry to hear that.”

Nadir nods. “Thanks.” and he starts to walk back to the suitcases, saying he would take them to their guestroom. Christine and Raoul follow him. Nadir feels bad for bringing the mood down, and he wants to slap himself. What was he thinking to talk about _him_? He does nothing but bring up old memories, which Nadir can’t change.

He sees Christine and Raoul to their guestroom, before saying he’s going to his own room to unpack his stuff. He closes the door behind him, and gives a huge sigh. Like the house, his room is still the same, but more clean. His mom still cleaned his room. A lump started to form in his throat.

Being alone in his room, it starts to hit him. The many times how he and him played together in this very room, told secrets and then… that one night. Even after all these years, he still couldn’t move on. Nadir can still see him in his room, hear his soft laugh and feel his cold, soft touches.

Nadir did everything to forget him. He dated many other women or men in Paris, but no touch was the same, no laugh was attractive as his and no mind was great as his. Relationships didn’t last longer than two months because of that.

He opens the window and watched over the small village. He didn’t had a view over the church, but over the other houses and the road over the hill, which led to _Rouen_. Next to his window is a tall tree, which he used to climb in all the time to escape his house to see Erik.

Or Erik used the tree to climb into his room, to escape his family. Oh, the many times his mother saw Erik in his bed with him and warned to call his mother if he didn’t return immediately.

Suddenly he feels something wet touch his hand. He looks and notices he’s crying. He sweeps the tears away.

“Goddamnit.” he whispers.

God. Why did he return?

***

The next day Nadir wanted to start fresh. He woke up early for his daily jog, trusting Christine and Raoul with the house. He takes Ana with him. He takes the familiar route to Erik’s house, up the hill. The gate is still there, but Nadir doesn’t go inside yet. He does stop and look; the big, white wooden house was gone. It burned down, with the family in it.

Nadir bites his lip, and his fingers touches the gate. He remembers the blazing fire; the heat on his face and the smoke deep in his lungs. The screaming. He takes a deep breath, and though his mind screamed not to do it, he opens the gate and walks inside. Ana follows him. Where the house stood, were now growing weeds, no sign that anyone ever lived here. No memory at all.

In the distance he hears a twig break and the leaves from the trees moving with the wind. No music from Erik’s room. Nor his mom’s shouting. It’s quiet, except for Ana’s heavy breathing. Although he’s outside, Nadir feels suffocated in this very place, but he keeps looking. He does not know what’s he’s looking for; a memory? A piece the people forgot to pick up? Any sort of remembrance to Erik. That he existed.

But there’s nothing. Only weeds and grass.

He sighs and walks away. He closes the gate behind him, and decides to go back into town. On his way he stops at the bakery, to get some croissants and bread for breakfast. Arriving home, he hears Christine and Raoul talking in the living room. He puts his shoes away before walking to them, smiling when they look up. Ana walks to her bowl of water.

“Where were you?” Christine asks concerned. “We couldn’t reach you!”

“I was out… for a jog.” Nadir says slowly, not expecting such reaction.

“I told you, Christine. Nadir always goes on a jog in the morning.” Raoul smiles.

Christine pouts. “Okay, fine. But do take your phone with you, if something happens, you can always reach us.”

“I’m not going to get robbed in this tiny village.” Nadir laughs. Christine gives him a look, and Nadir holds his hands up. “Alright, alright… From now I take my phone with me.”

Sometimes Nadir forgets about Christine’s past; she was sixteen when she found at the side of a way to _Mayenne_. She was barely clothed, and very skinny. She had been bruised from her head to toe. Nadir doesn’t know much, because he nor Raoul won’t want to pressure her, but he knows it wasn’t a happy past. Christine always tells she remembers nothing from her past. Nadir feels a twinge of envy. He likes to not remember his past.

He shakes the bag from the bakery. “I brought breakfast.”

“You’re my hero!” Raoul jumps from the couch to grab the bag, but then gives a look of disgust at Nadir. “Man, you stink!”

“I just jogged, you ass!”

“Go take a shower. I’ll set the table.” Raoul grabs the bag.

“Don’t eat all the croissants, save some for me.” Nadir says while taking the stairs.

“What did you say, eat all the croissants?”

“I’m going to shove up my foot up your ass, Raoul!”

Raoul laughs loudly, even Nadir hears Christine giggle softly. For the first time in years, Nadir feels happy in his old home. He can do this.


	2. A Strange Presence

_._

**5.22.1995 [past]**

_“Do your magic trick, Erik!”_

_“Which one?”_

_“Hmm, with the lights.”_

_Erik smiled, before he turned the lights off in his room. It was pitch black and Nadir tried to reach Erik with his hands but felt nothing. Suddenly a blue light appeared right next to his head, swirling around. Nadir reached for that instead and his hand went through the light. A new red light appears and it clashed with the blue one, giving the room a flash of purple._

_Nadir saw Erik on his bed, watching the light, as if he was surprised he did that. Nadir sat next to him and watched how Erik makes a new blue light and let it sit on Nadir’s lap. The light gave form of a little puppy. The puppy chased around his tail, and it made Nadir giggle._

_“It does… not scare you?” Erik said._

_Nadir rose one eyebrow up at him, not understanding. How could this scare anyone?_

_“No,” he answered. “It’s beautiful.”_

_Erik smiled again, and made a twist with his hand. The puppy jumped from Nadir’s lap, and became larger. It lit the whole room with its color, and Nadir gasped when the dog faded slowly, leaving blue sparkles. Again, they’re surrounded in darkness._

_Erik turned the lights on, and he gave a little bow. Nadir laughed and clapped quickly._

_“You’re a great m-m-magicien?” Nadir said unsurely._

_“Magician.” Erik translated._

_Nadir nodded. “Even the m-m-magicians on the television aren’t as good as you. You can see the lines.”_

_“Yes… they’re sloppy.” Erik sat back next to Nadir and sighed. “What more do you want?”_

_“What?”_

_“Do you want more tricks? I’ll give you everything, Nadir.”_

 

**6.25.2007 [present]**

“There’s going to be a masked ball, Raoul! Nadir! Please, can we go there?”

Nadir knows it was a mistake to go to Rouen, just for this alone. It’s scorching hot today, and he knows for sure his shoulder were burnt. Curse this day. Raoul walks with Christine to a lady in a heavy dress, who’s handing flyers. Nadir searches for a spot in the shade and rests. Raoul surely will say no to Christine.

Like, no way will they go to a ball in this heat. They barely survive in their normal clothing. He craves for some ice cream. He watches Christine jump in excitement and the lady laughing. This can’t be good. _Raoul, you’re weak_ , he thinks.

The couple walks to him, both having a flyer. Nadir frowns. “I’m not going.” He says, before they could say anything. He refuses to dress up.

“Oh, come on Nadir, it will be fun!” Christine says gleefully. “It’s on the day before we go to Spain.”

“Maybe you will find someone.” Raoul says.

Nadir frowns even more. “I’m not looking for someone.”

“Just for a night, Nadir, please?” Christine grabs Nadir’s hands, squeezes them gently and she gives him her best puppy look. Nadir rolls his eyes, but then feels strange, as if he’s being watched. He shakes the feeling off, and smiles to Christine.

“Okay, fine.” he says finally. He’s weak too. “But if it’s boring, I’m gone.”

Christine gives Nadir a wide grin and hugs him tightly. The feeling comes back, stronger now, and Nadir watches over Christine’s shoulder, but sees nothing out the ordinary.

Rest of the day they look around Rouen more, went into shops and have a drink at _Place du Vieux-Marché_ , cooling off their bodies. Late afternoon they drive back to _Boscherville_ , the couple satisfied with what they bought. At home, Nadir immediately takes a walk with Ana. Christine walks with him.

Even with Christine, Nadir takes his familiar walk, but this time he doesn’t go past the gate. At top of the hill they look over the village and Christine sighs, taking in the sight. With the sun setting, there’s an orange glow over the village.

“I can’t understand why you don’t return every year to this. It’s so beautiful.” Christine says.

“It’s not the same without my friend,” Nadir releases Ana and lets her walk around. “Everything reminds me of him.”

“Is that so bad?” Christine shrugs her jacket off, places it on the grass before sitting on it. “Memories aren’t bad, and I’m sure your friend won’t like it if you forget him.”

Why does Nadir get the feeling Raoul send her off with him to interrogate with him? He’s going to kick Raoul’s ass.

“That’s the problem, you see, I keep thinking about him.  He’s inside my head all the time, and being here, doesn’t help at all.” Nadir sits next to Christine. If they’re going to talk, oh, he will talk. “Since the day we arrived, I go back to where his house used to be, which is not there anymore.”

“Oh, the gate… I found it already strange there was a gate with no house behind it.” Christine pulls grass from the ground and lets it fly in the wind. “But I still don’t understand how is that a horrible thing. It means he important much to you.”

“I loved the damn fool!” he hisses hard, and Christine’s eyes grew at his reaction. “But I was stupid, you know why?” she shakes her head. “My friend… he had a mask. Me being a stupid kid, I thought he wore it because he liked to do magic tricks, like a magician. He wore it all the time and I thought it was his act, I never questioned it. It was a part of him.” he takes a breath. “But on a night, the same night he passed away…”

He stands up suddenly, not feeling well. Christine gets up, looking concerned. She places her hand on his back. “Nadir, are you okay?”

“Sorry, I can’t do this after all.” he groans.

“No, it’s okay. I’m sorry if I was pushing.”

Nadir takes a few deep breaths, and he feels Ana’s wet nose against his hand. “Let’s just say, I said not kind things to him before he passed away.”

“You seek forgiveness.” Christine says softly.

“And I will never have forgiveness. Even if he had lived, he won’t forgive me.”

“You don’t know that!” Christine grabs him by the shoulders, and Nadir hisses in pain at the burn . “Look at you! You’re destroying yourself, Raoul and I don’t know what to do, and we want to be here for  you. We care about you.”

Nadir looks down, but Christine grabs him by the chin so he has to look up. She looks stern.

“He forgives you, okay? Stop torturing yourself.”

It’s silent. Nadir’s heartbeat is going crazy, and he nods to Christine, just to be done with the conversation. He feels like he has to puke, but he keeps swallowing. “Let’s go back.” he says, his voice thick with unshed tears.

“Okay.”

The walk back is quiet, and Nadir sees Christine glancing at the gate for a second only. Then suddenly it dawns to him he told her he loved his best friend. A guy friend. A guy. She didn’t make a fuss about it, and Nadir truly bless himself for having such good friend.

“Thank you.” he says.

Christine cocks up her head at him, eyes warm and sympathetic. “You’re welcome.”

***

They watch a dumb action movie on television and Nadir passes popcorn. He still feels nauseous about what happened earlier, but he tries to get in a better mood, but the conversation helps him understand. He is well and truly fucked.

He is sure now that he still is in love with his best friend. A friend who is dead.

He watches the movie ‘til the end and then says he’s going to bed. Raoul says he will watch one more with Christine. _Watch one more movie, yeah right_. Nadir knows he  won’t be sitting on the couch anymore.

Entering his room, Nadir opens his window. The breeze cools off his room. He doesn’t turn the light on, afraid to attract a scourge of mosquitoes. He undresses, stretching his back before falling down on his bed. He closes his eyes and just listens. He hears the television downstairs, and a car pass by his house.

He opens one eye and looks at the open window. He somehow expects Erik to be sitting there, but it’s empty. Nadir lays on his side, and sighs. He needs to stop digging up his past and letting it haunt him. This is why he’s still in love with the bastard.

He pictures himself in a future with a family. A wife and a kid. Maybe a dog. A nine to five day job. He shudders at the thought. But isn’t that what his parents want? A normal life. But in his future, he sees himself with Erik. He can’t picture himself with anyone else. A life with no Erik.

He’s pathetic. Still stuck to a fantasy when he was fifteen.  Why can’t he move on.

He needs to. _Erik is gone_.

***

_We stole your car!_

_Don’t be mad. We saw something in a shop in Rouen and we didn’t want to buy it with you around._

_You see, it’s a surprise for you!! We will come back around lunch._

_PS: we also stole Ana._

Nadir places the letter back. He had already wondered why it was so quiet in the house, now he knows why. It’s a good time to clean up. He turns on the radio on the old stereo before he goes to wash the dishes in the sink. His hips swing a bit to _Paradise by the Dashboard Light_ and he sings terribly the girl part in the song.

“ _Do you love me, will you love me forever_ –” he taps his finger at the counter in rhythm with the music. “- _what’s it gonna be, boy? I can wait all night_.”

Done with the dishes, he dries his hands and continues to dust the living room with a clean cloth. The song changes and Nadir hums now to _Angel of the Morning_. The cleaning occupies his mind, and he even didn’t notice how fast the time went.

When he’s done and looks up at the clock, he raises one eyebrow. It’s three PM and Christine and Raoul still aren’t home. He walks to the dining table where his phone lays, and his eyes widen when he sees he missed nine calls of Raoul. Shit.

He turned the stereo off first, before he calls. It goes over three times when Raoul picks up.

“ _Nadir_?” Raoul sounds panicked.

“Raoul? What’s wrong?”

“ _Oh God, sorry Nadir, but we’re at a hospital_ –”

“You what?” Nadir is now panicked, and automatically his hand searches for his car keys but remembers they have his car. “What happened!?”

“ _I – I don’t know! We just walked out of the shop and… Christine fainted out of nowhere. I couldn’t wake her up, and the owner of the shop called the ambulance. I followed it with your car and I’m outside her room now, and she just woke up. Ana is in your car, with the window open… I’m –_ ”

“Calm down, Raoul! Did Christine talk? At all?”

Raoul breaths heavily, trying to calm down. “ _The doctors are talking now to her. Before I got sent away, he heard her murmuring ‘Its him, it’s him.. he has changed.’ over and over_.”

Nadir is confused. Him? Someone from Christine’s past? “Do you think the person –”

“ _If it is, I’ll protect her. No one will lay a finger on her again, not with me around_.”

“Think logically, Raoul! If it is someone from Christine’s past, he will be very dangerous.”

Nadir can’t help but think of yesterday, when he got the strange feeling of being stared at. A shudder went through his spine. How did that creep find her? Why now?

He hears noises through the phone, and Raoul is talking with someone. Probably a nurse.

“… _We took tests, and there’s nothing wrong_ …”

“… _Are you sure?_ ”

“ _Yes. But she keeps talking about a guy_.”

“… _Does she know him_?”

“ _She keeps saying she wants to see him again_.”

“ _What_?”

Raoul hangs up and Nadir doesn’t know what to do. He can’t go to Rouen without his car, so he’s stuck in his house. Feeling frustrated and useless, Nadir puts away the cleaning supplies and takes a shower afterwards. If it’s true that her abuser is back, shouldn’t they warn the police? Will they even listen?

After the shower, he settles on the armchair, waiting for the couple to return. Luckily, he didn’t have to wait long; after an hour he hears his car parking next to the house. He stands up when the door opens.

Christine still looks the same, she even smiles when she sees Nadir. “We have your pre –”

“Nadir knows, dear.” Raoul whispers to her, closing the door.

Ana walks in between the couple, going for her water bowl. Christine opens her mouth, but shuts it again, before she sighs. “It’s nothing serious.”

Nadir frowns. “You fainted, Chris,” he says. “Talk to us, who was the guy you saw? Your abuser? Sit down.”

Christine sees she has no choice, and she sits on the couch. She first looks at Raoul, then at Nadir. “You have to believe me, okay?” she says. “I really don’t know, I really don’t, but… somehow, when I saw him, he felt familiar. Like I knew him from somewhere.”

“From your past?” Nadir asks.

She nods. “Yes. But he’s not the same, people had hurt him too… just like me.”

“You didn’t tell me.” Raoul interrupts.

“I’m thinking, Raoul! He… sorry, he has changed. He’s not kind anymore.”

Raoul sits next to Christine. “How do you know that? Will he hurt you?” a pause. “Did he hurt you?”

Christine shakes her head immediately. “No, no! Never!” nervously, she picks her nails. “Oh, his eyes were so sad… but I felt what he had done. Too much blood.”

Nadir glances at Raoul, who shakes his head. “Christine, we –”

“I need to rest, please.” Christine says softly.

Raoul sighs, but nods. “Of course dear, let me help you.”

They stand up, and Nadir wishes Christine sweet dreams. When they’re upstairs, Nadir notices the red bag on the salon table. His present. He grabs it, looks inside and a faint smile appears on his face. He picks up the turquoise mask. Around the eyes it’s adorned with gold swirls, same around the side of the mask. It’s beautiful.

He touches the golden feathers at the left side, ruffling them.

“Christine wanted it for you,” Raoul appears suddenly next to him, and Nadir almost jumps a foot in the air. “He needs to attract all the ladies and gentlemen, she says.”

“As if my face isn’t enough.” Nadir jokes. He puts the mask back in the bag but then he froze. “She told you.”

“I really don’t care. You’re my best friend, but if you fall in love with me, I have to say no.”

“I won’t, even if you were the last man on earth.”

“You don’t have to hurt my feelings,” Raoul plops on the couch and closes his eyes. Ana makes an appearance again, and she rests her head on Nadir’s knee. Nadir scratches behind her ear. “What do you think about it?”

“Strange,” Nadir begins. “Weird. I don’t know what to say.”

“At the hospital, all I could think of, was that I don’t want to know about her past. I want to build a future with her, I don’t want to dive back. What matters now is for her to be happy.”

“Are you not a bit curious? Who the other guy is, I mean.”

Raoul leans his elbows on his knees and rests his head on his hands. “Sure, but I’m thinking about Christine now. _She matters_.”

“But the guy can maybe tell us about her past.”

“No. I don’t want to know. You didn’t see how she fainted, it was terrifying. I don’t want her to see him again.”

Nadir drops it and thinks about another topic. “Um… you still want to go to the ball?” he tries with a smile. “Bit of jolliness?”

_Raoul gives a tiny smile. “Yes. That will cheer her up.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter! Hope you guys like it. And thanks again to therandommeerkat for beta'ing it. You're a sweetheart.


	3. The Dead Lives

**_5 days earlier._ **

****

Philippe de Chagny, being a detective, had seen a lot of shit in his days, but nobody could have prepared him for this. Not the pile of dead bodies, the blood splattered on the walls, and the stench. He’s literally standing on intestines. His colleagues are also silent, their flashlights shining on the stacked bodies.

Sorelli, junior detective, holds a handkerchief against her nose. “This is disgusting,” she says. “Who could have done this?”

Philippe walks further in the main hall of the asylum. He shines his light all over the dead bodies and feels more grossed out by the second. “Call for more back –”

“P-please…”

Philippe quickly flashes his light where the voice came from and sees a middle aged woman in the right corner. She’s leaning against the door, and unlike the others, didn’t have blood on her. Philippe hears his colleagues grabbing their pistols in fear.

“No, no, please, I won’t hurt you.” The woman says quickly. “I… I know what happened here.”

“Detective –”

“I’ve got this. Call for more back-up. I’ll talk to this lady. Sorelli, follow me.”

One of his colleagues gives a frustrated sigh but he calls. Sorelli walks with Philippe to the woman. Up close Philippe sees how terrified the woman is. Sorelli gives her a friendly smile before asking what her name is.

“Giry, Jeannette Giry.” She tells them, looking over her shoulder as if someone else is listening too. She looks back with wide eyes, giving her a disheveled look. “I work… well, worked here. I gave the patients their meal.”

“Do you know who did this?” Philippe asks, not wanting small talk, especially not in this stench.

She nods frantically. “Yes, yes, a special patient. He was her favorite. I was the only one in the group who would give him food, the rest were too scared. Oh, I’ve never seen someone so sad. I felt pity for him. I had to wear headphones because the rumor was that when he speaks, you would do what he says, no matter what he says.” she waves her hand to the bodies. “He told them.. to kill each other. Only the doctors. He let the patients go.”

Philippe frowns, not believing the story. Surely, he needs to believe that a guy has some kind of super power? Sorelli looks like she also has a hard time believing the woman’s story. She coughs. “How did he get free?”

Giry casts her eyes down. “I set him free.”

“Why?”

“This asylum is bad. The CEO saw her patients as objects, she collected them from all over the world. She experimented, gave them drugs to do her bidding. This poor boy, every day they would pick him up and do horrible things to him. I heard him crying in his cell, and through the little locker I saw blood on the floor… and tonight, I had enough.” Giry says, her whole body shaking. “But I didn’t expect this.”

“What did he do?”

“Wait a second,” Philippe interrupts. Giry looks at him. “You said you wore headphones, how could you hear him cry?”

Giry’s eyes widen. “Sorry… I, yes, I had to wear them, but after a few days I thought it was a ridiculous rumor. I mean, you do what he says?” she laughs nervously. “Who will believe that? So I stopped wearing them. The first day without it I only heard him crying, he cried so much. Then he started talking to me.”

Philippe sees her shuddering. For a second he believes the woman’s story. “What did he say?”

“How much he wanted to escape, sometimes about his time before he got here and about a boy.”

“A boy?”

Giry nods. “His friend. He wanted to see his friend again, what was his name again… Nadir –” Philippe’s ears perks up. He knows someone by that name. Didn’t Raoul had a friend named Nadir? “- Khan.”

Philippe’s chest tightens and his heart skips a beat. “Nadir Khan?” he says, the fear in his voice growing.

Giry sees his reaction, confused by it. “Yes…?”

“This patient… did he tell you where he would go? For God’s sake, what is his name?” Philippe’s patience is running thin. He doesn’t care how stupid the story sounds or if it’s true. He does know that if that murderer is going to Nadir, he’s near his little brother.

“He didn’t tell me, please Sir, believe me. His name is Erik.” Giry answers. “But there’s more…”

“How could there be possibly more?” Sorelli replies before Philippe could. He even forgot about her.

Now Giry looks annoyed. “If you want to find him, there may be one more person he will go to. They shared a cell, but she managed to escape thanks to him. Her name is Christine Daaé.” 

 

**6.30.2007 [present]**

_There are too many people_ , Nadir thinks. He waits for Raoul to be dressed, along with fifty other people. He hears the soft music in the background, and the giggling women who try to peek in the men’s dressing room.

Nadir already is dressed in his costume; a turquoise tailcoat over his black vest and white shirt, with under black pants.

He spots Raoul finally, who’s all dressed in black, looking like a real nobleman with his top hat. “Should we go? It’s getting hot in here.”

“You don’t have to compliment me, Raoul, stop it!” Nadir jokes.

Raoul slaps him on the shoulder, laughing. “You wish!”

They search for Christine through the mass of people. Nadir is kind of surprised so many people showed up at the ball, but then again, people loved parties. He scans over heads to spot Christine, but no luck so far.

“There she is! Oh, she looks beautiful!”

Nadir glances where Raoul is pointing and sees Christine standing awkwardly where the drinks are. She wears a blue petticoat dress, with a dark pink ribbon on her back. The dress shows her figure perfectly, and her bushy, blond hair is up in a bun. Raoul walks up to her, and she smiles wide when he bows to her.

Nadir smiles too at the sight of Christine’s blush. Raoul leads her to the ball room to dance with her. Nadir keeps his eyes on them, before putting his mask on. The ball room is huge, with three gigantic chandeliers in it. Blue curtains stand out with the golden walls and floor, and Nadir feels whimsical for a bit.

The song changes but Raoul and Christine keep dancing, lost in their joy. Nadir taps his foot with the flow of the music, and he whistles a bit. Then he senses someone watching him, the same feeling he got days ago. He breaks his gaze on the couple and looks around, stopping when he meets a pair of amber eyes looking at him.

His breath stops for a moment, but he keeps staring. The guy is all dressed in red, except for his white mask. His black hair is up in a pony tail. They stare for a while, and Nadir raises one eyebrow, daring him to do something. But then he remembers he’s wearing a mask. The guy’s lips twitch in a smile and then he turns, disappearing in the crowd.

Nadir doesn’t know what to think; is it the same guy? Or is it someone else entirely?

He looks back at the couple, and they’re still enjoying themselves. Nadir glances back at the spot where the guy was, and almost jumps five feet in the air when red blocks his view and he cocks up his head to look into the same amber eyes. Nadir takes a step back. Oh god, the guy is tall.

“H-hi.” Nadir starts weak, and he wants to slap himself.

“Hello.”

_That voice_.

Nadir’s eyes widen, not prepared. He can’t believe someone else is gifted with such voice. The guy is staring, and Nadir can’t help but blush under his gaze. Thank god the mask for covering it.

“Um,” he begins. “Are you alone or with friends?”

“I’m with acquaintances, but they’re busy with each other.” the guy answers, and oh god, Nadir can listen to that voice for hours. “And… you seemed lonely.”

Nadir peeks at Christine and Raoul for a second, who most likely forgot about him, and then he glances back at the stranger. “Not really, but my friends are dancing, and I’m the third wheel.”

The guy hums in understanding, then reaches his gloved hand up to him. “If you want, I can company you while they dance.”

“I can’t dance.” Nadir lies immediately, because no way will he dance with a guy in such a public place. He doesn’t want any reaction.

“I don’t ask for a dance, just a simple walk around the building. Maybe in the garden?”

Nadir blushes hard in embarrassment. “Sorry, yes, of course. A walk seems nice.” he follows the guy out the ball room into the hall way where it’s less crowded. Then he realizes he doesn’t know the guy’s name. “Hey, what is your name?”

“Let’s play a game first, and then you can know my name, as a reward, and I can have yours.” the guy says, smiling slightly. Nadir sees a scar on his upper lip. Just like… _no_.

“Okay,” Nadir likes to play games. “What kind of game?”

“Fifty asks and answers?” the guy suggests. “To know each other.”

“Know each other’s dirty secrets before we know each other’s names?” Nadir is flirting, now that they are less people to listen in their conversation. Christine did say he should have fun. “May I begin?”

“You may.”

“Ever had a pet?” he asks, trying not to grin at the innocent question.

The guy looks at him for a second. “Yes, I did. A dog,” he answers. “Hmm, your most embarrassing moment?”

“Oh, going for the juicy stuff, well, let me tell you that –”

And that’s how his night continues. He asks some things and answer others. They keep walking, out in the garden, music still in the background. Strangely, he feels at peace with this stranger, as if he’d knows him for years. He did feel his phone vibrate several times, but he ignored it.

They stop at the fountain and Nadir sits on the edge, looking up at the stranger. “Your last question, sir.”

“It seems I do have the last one,” he sits next to Nadir, deep in thought. “Is there anyone special in your life?”

“What? Besides my parents? Want to get rid of the competition?” he bumps his shoulder against the guy’s, but he keeps silent, looking at Nadir in seriousness. “Oh, um… There is, I mean, was. He passed away.”

Something shifts in the guy’s eyes. “What happened?”

Nadir frowns at the question. “Does it matter? He’s gone.” he says. “I… I couldn’t save him that night.”

“Save him?”

“Let’s drop it okay? This doesn’t help.”

“I think you don’t understand,” the guy says and he lifts his gloved hand up, his fingers touching Nadir’s chin, turning him to face him. “Because that’s not what I remember.”

“What –”

The guy raises his other hand and a burst of light appears above his palm. It takes shape of a dog, and Nadir feels a cold chill in his body. No, it can’t be. This isn’t true. The dog jumps around his head, but Nadir keeps his eye on the stranger. “W-Who are you?”

“You know already, Nadir.”

Nadir’s lip trembles, and his eyes dart to the cut on the guy’s lip and back at his yellow eyes. “Erik…” he whispers. “Oh my god, Erik!” he shifts his body, and then embraces his arms around his old friend. He feels so thin as always, and then he withdraws just to look if he’s real. “How?” he exhales, giving a shaky sigh.

“That’s a story for another time. Tell me about you, what did I miss?” Erik waves his hand and the light fades away. Nadir shakes his head, still not believing his old friend is alive. He’s alive.

“I’m not going crazy, right? You’re alive.”

“Pretty much. You’re not going to pass out?” Erik sounds concerned.

“I might, oh my god, I need some air.”

“We’re outside, Nadir.”

“Oh right.”

Nadir takes a few deep breaths, to calm himself. He’s startled when Erik lays his hand on his knee, and probably Erik sees that as a rejection and withdraws his hand. Nadir wants to say he doesn’t mind, but everything is getting too much right now. “I don’t understand. You were gone for seven years, and now you’re here.” then anger bubbles in his chest and he hits Erik on the arm. Erik hisses.

“What –”

“You deserve it. Please. Tell me what happened to you.”

“You won’t believe me if I tell you.”

“Try me.”

Erik sighs and he looks away, his eyes staring at the water. “I got kidnapped by someone. That person was already in my house when I got there. She killed my parents and drugged me immediately. After that I don’t remember much, I woke up in a cell alone. Soon I got to learn I was in an asylum, and they did experiments with their patients.”

Nadir’s eyes widen in shock, and he swallows. “What did they do…” _to you_.

“I don’t know about the others, but… they were horrible. I’ll spare you the details. But after seven years, I escaped.” Erik finishes.

Nadir doesn’t know much about asylums, maybe except for the documentaries he watched couple of times. He images doctors touching Erik without his consent and anger fuels up again in his chest. Wild fantasies come up in his head, the one uglier than the other. But Erik escaped, right? So they might search for him.

“You… need to be safe.” Nadir says finally, looking around in fear, as if they would pop up somewhere to catch Erik. He finally got his friend back, and no one will take him away from him ever again. “You can live in my house for now. Oh my god, I need to tell Christine and Raoul about you.”

“Let’s calm down for a bit.” Erik tells him.

Nadir doesn’t know what to say, so he simply stares at Erik. His hair is grown over the years, and his mask is different. But his eyes and lips are still the same. Nadir lifts his hand and reaches for Erik’s hand, but he pulls back. Erik shakes his head.

“You don’t want a corpse to touch you.”

It’s like someone threw a bucket of ice cold water over Nadir, hearing that word on Erik’s tongue. He bites his bottom lip and looks directly in Erik’s eyes. “I shouldn’t have used that word.”

“Why not? It perfectly describes my face and body now.” Erik takes off his glove and Nadir watches his long, thin fingers. “I’m a monster.”

Nadir clenches his hands into fists. “Stop.”

“You even said it, Nadir. You wouldn’t even be near me when you saw what’s behind the mask. But you were curious, like everyone else. You screamed and wanted me out of your room.” Erik lays his hand on Nadir’s cheek, and he looks mildly confused when Nadir didn’t flinch away of his touch. Erik removes Nadir’s mask and he sighs deeply. “Oh, this isn’t fair.”

Nadir places his hand on Erik’s, leaning into his cold touch. Oh, how he missed this. Nadir turns his head a bit so his lips touches Erik’s hand. He kisses it softly, and he hears Erik gasping.

“Do you like to torture me, Nadir?” Erik softly whispers, as he strokes his thumb on Nadir’s cheek, right below his eye. “You know how I feel about you. Don’t play with me.”

They’re so close to each other, Nadir is surprised he’s isn’t sitting on Erik’s lap. “The feeling’s mutual.” He whispers back. Erik studies him, licking his thin lips, then his eyes locks on Nadir’s lips. He shudders.

“Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not, now you’re torturing me, Erik. Kiss me.”

Erik’s eyes widens slightly, then he leans down, and Nadir closes his eyes. He waits for the cold touch, but his ears perk up at the sound of clicking heels on pavement. He actually growls in annoyance, and he looks up but the only thing he sees is a flash of white and Erik fleeing.

“No!”

Nadir jumps up and runs after him, not curious who the woman is who interrupted them. He sees Erik entering the building, and Nadir follows. He won’t lose him again. Luckily, Erik slows his pace in the main hall where it’s getting busy with people again. Nadir bumps into people, and he apologizes quickly, but slowly but surely his hand reaches Erik’s arm.

Erik turns in anger, but his eyes softens when he sees its Nadir. “I have to go.” he says.

“Where to? Are they here? I don’t want to lose you again, please come to my house.” Nadir keeps his hold on Erik firmly, and with his other hand he picks up his phone. He calls Raoul, who picks it up quickly.

“Nadir! Where are you, did you find someone so nice you had to ditch us?” he answers with a laugh.

“Well, I did find someone, but we have to go. Now.”

“Huh!? Why? Nadir, did you do something?”

“No, no! Can we go? I’ll see you at the car.”

“We need to change clothes first.”

“Now!”

Nadir hangs up, and he sees Erik watching him in interest. He raises one eyebrow up in question. Erik shrugs and mutters something. Nadir drags Erik by the arm through the mass of people, eyes darting around to spot anything suspicious. Outside, he searches for his car in the parking place.

Suddenly, Erik jerks his arm free and before Nadir could turn to see why, a heavy figure tackles him from the side. He smashes hard against the back of a car, and he can’t breathe. He falls to his knees and gasps for air. Slowly, he cocks up his head to see and with wide eyes, he looks right up to a gun aimed between his brows.

Erik appears behind the figure holding the gun, whispering in his ear. The hand holding the gun trembles, and then the figure aims the gun at his own head and shoots without a second thought. Blood spatters on Nadir, and he could only gasp when the lifeless body falls sideways.

Dead eyes stare at him, and Nadir feels the need to puke. He turns away from the body and Erik and throws up his dinner on the pavement. He hears movement behind him, and he glances over his shoulder to see Erik hovering over him in concern.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

“He… killed himself. Why? What did you say?” Nadir grabs Erik’s hand, who helps him stand up. Nadir feels his knees tremble. “Erik?”

“It doesn’t matter. He tried to kill you. We should go before anyone else gets hurt.”

Nadir nods silently, not looking at the body behind Erik. He swallows and begins searching for his car again. Erik walks right behind him, his hand low on his back, and somehow it calms Nadir. He finds his car and immediately sits behind the steering wheel. His hands shake uncontrollably; images of the guy shooting himself flashing in his mind. Erik sits next to him in the passenger seat, while struggling with the seatbelt.

To his great relief, he sees Christine and Raoul walking to his car, still smiles on their faces. Only Raoul gets a strange look when he sees Erik in the front. They enter the car, and Raoul immediately leans in, studying Erik.

“Um, Nadir, who’s this guy?” Raoul cowers back when Erik’s eyes stare back. Christine stays silent.

“I will tell you when we’re home.” Nadir answers, as he starts his car. He drives out the parking place, taking the road back to _Boscherville_. He keeps looking in his rearview mirror to see if anybody is following him, but they’re the only ones on the road for now.

The silence in the car is awkward and feels unreal for Nadir. For a long time, his life with Erik was in the past, something he only remembered, but now it collides with his new life. Rest of the drive home it stays quiet, and no one is following them.

Nadir feels bad for Christine and Raoul. They have no idea what’s going on, and to be honest, Nadir doesn’t know what’s happening either. The only thing on his mind is to save his friend from whoever is chasing him. What shall he tell them? ‘ _Hi guys, that friend I was talking about this whole week? Yeah, he’s not dead_.’ Yes, that’s a great way to start a conversation.

Soon enough, Nadir parks right before his house. They step out the car, and Nadir notices how Christine watches Erik curiously, while Raoul’s expression is suspicious. He opens the door and walks right to the living room, turning the lights on.

Ana yawns from her basket and slowly she stands up, to sniff Nadir, wagging her tail.

“Nadir, is that blood!?” comes Raoul’s shriek.

Before Nadir could answer, Ana gives a thunderous howl and wags her tail more enthusiastically when she sees Erik walking in the living room behind Christine. The howl turns into whining as she  walks up to Erik, who kneels to give her a hug. Ana licks over his mask, then frees herself from his embrace and jumps in glee.

“Calm down girl.” Nadir says, but Ana whines more before she decides to lays on her back, so Erik can give her a belly rub.

Raoul keeps pointing at Nadir’s tailcoat. “That is blood!” he says in panic. “Did you kill someone?”

“No!” Nadir yells, surprised that Raoul would think that. “Someone tried to kill me.”

“What!?” Christine and Raoul yelp in unison.

Nadir looks at Erik for support, who sighs in annoyance and stands upright. Christine turns to him. “People are after me,” he begins. “But, Nadir… they’re not from the asylum.”

“W- what? I thought they were after you? Who is?” Nadir asks in surprise, questions scurrying through his mind. “Erik?”

Erik looks first at Christine and Raoul before his eyes fell on Nadir with a worried look.

“ _The police_.”


	4. Old Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be smut here! Just a warning. And some feels too.

**11.26.1999 [past]**

 

_“Did you really think I would ever be with you!?”_

_Nadir pushed Erik off him. Erik’s back clashed against the dressing cupboard, and he groaned in pain. In a normal situation, Nadir would’ve felt sorry and told him so, but fury was the only thing on his mind. He still felt Erik’s kiss on his lips, and it confused  him but also he felt angry. He shouldn’t feel this way. He shouldn’t be confused. This was wrong. He shouldn’t like it!_

_“No.”_

_“What!?” Nadir hissed._

_Erik looked up, and there were tears in his eyes. That took Nadir by surprise; he’d never seen Erik cry like this._

_“I said no, people like me won’t ever have love… but I had to, I wanted to feel,” he gulped, tears streaming over his mask. “Like everyone does. Just one kiss. That’s all I ask.”_

_“What do you mean, people like me?” Nadir said, still trying to suppress his feelings._

_“Behind the mask. You won’t like me,” then Erik gave a chuckle choked by tears. “You already don’t like me.”_

_This somehow triggered Nadir to walk to Erik, who looked somehow hopeful, he probably thought Nadir was going to kiss him, but Nadir grabbed his mask and pulled it away. Erik screamed, quickly placing his hands on his face but Nadir already saw what’s behind the mask._

_He stumbled back, away from Erik, his hand still holding the mask. “You – you –”_

_“No, no, please don’t, give me back my mask.”_

_Erik looked so vulnerable and it sickened Nadir. To him, Erik was strong, always knew what to say, and to see him like this felt wrong. He threw the mask at Erik’s feet, not wanting to come near him. Erik knelt to grab it, placing it quickly back on his face._

_“You’re disgusting.” Nadir said, before he could stop himself. He saw Erik freeze in motion. “You look like a corpse.”_

_Erik stood up after a moment, and he looked at Nadir, still fresh tears in his eyes. “Don’t say that.”_

_“Don’t ever touch me again. Go away,” Nadir pleaded. “GO!”_

_Erik bit his lip, but he turned his back to Nadir and left his room through the window. Nadir watched him walking through the streets before he vanished in the dark. Finally, Nadir let his tears escape._

 

**7.1.2007 [present]**

 

Nadir can’t sleep, shifting onto his back on the couch, staring at the ceiling. The conversation not so long ago still plays in his mind and he has a hard time believing it. His friend killed people, with just his voice. When Erik told him he can control people with it, they of course didn’t believe him. Until Erik demonstrated and told Raoul to walk out of the house. He did.

Erik told what he did to escape from the asylum, and it somehow it didn’t scare or disgust Nadir. Somewhere deep he’s glad that Erik killed them. They deserved it.

Maybe that’s why Nadir can’t sleep; scared of his own thoughts, and how far he would go for Erik and forgive. Or the fact that a horde of police could break into his house to find Erik. Christine and Raoul weren’t so happy with the story as him, but they accepted it for Nadir’s sake, and maybe it was Nadir’s imagination but it bothered him how much Christine looked at Erik, as if she somehow knew him from before. Raoul was strangely quiet.

After the conversation Nadir let Erik sleep in his bed, and he took the couch.  Christine gave him a look in the corridor, which clearly said he should talk with Erik alone, before she went into the guest room with Raoul. That was two hours ago.

Erik was probably asleep right now, so Nadir won’t bother him now.

He shifts his body again, but freezes when he hears footsteps on the stairs. He closes his eyes, pretending to be asleep. The footsteps are too light to be Christine or Raoul; so it’s Erik. Nadir opens his right eye slightly, and sees Erik walking to the open kitchen. Without his costume, Nadir sees how truly skinny he is with just his tank top and underwear, and his anger flares again about how the asylum have treated him.

Erik opens a cabinet after cabinet, before he grabs a bag of salt potato chips. He tries to open it quietly, not succeeding it as the cracking sound fills the whole room. Erik’s eyes shifts to Nadir, looking if he’s still asleep and Nadir tries hard not to smile.

Erik sits at the dining table, his back to Nadir. He eagerly eats his chips, and Nadir steps off the couch, trying to stay silent as he walks to Erik. Slowly, his fingers twirl around Erik’s hair, and to his surprise Erik didn’t flinch.

“You walk like an elephant.” Erik says in the silent. “Did I wake you? I’m sorry.”

Nadir smiles, and lays both his hands on Erik’s shoulders. “No, I couldn’t sleep.”

“So, you watched me fool around in the kitchen instead of stating your presence, why is that?”

“Well, I had perfect view of your body.” Nadir says, and immediately regrets it. Erik stays silent, and with his mask, Nadir couldn’t see his expression.  “I… I… that was horrible, I’m awfully sorry.”

Erik is still quiet and with every passing second, Nadir is starting to feel more awkward. He starts to rub his thumbs over Erik’s shoulders, a blush creeping on his cheeks. He never was this awkward with his exes. “Erik, say something.”

Nadir withdraws his hands as Erik turns in his chair, and looks up to him. “I don’t understand.” he says slowly. He stands up, and now Nadir looks up in his glowing yellow eyes. “What has changed?”

Nadir sighs. “I thought it was obvious at the ball.”

“I want to hear it. Tell me how you truly feel about me, Nadir.”

A pull goes through Nadir’s body, and he opens his mouth before he could think about it. “I love you, Erik.” he whimpers. Erik looks intense, and Nadir feels naked now that he had said it. His emotions open and bare. “I love you.”

“Say it again. Tell me you love me.”

Nadir keeps repeating it, even when Erik puts his head on Nadir’s shoulder. He whispers it in his ear, wrapping his arms around Erik’s body. He feels Erik’s cold lips on his neck, and he shivers. “Erik,” he moans, when Erik gives little pecks right below his jaw. “Say you love me.”

“You know I do.” Erik whispers deeply in Nadir’s ear.

Nadir can’t help but smile in return. Erik leans his forehead against Nadir’s, smiling too. Nadir’s eyes drop to Erik’s lips, then back again. He swallows. It’s insane how much he wants to feel Erik’s lips against his, the desire to taste him. He’s pretty sure his heart is beating out of his chest.

Erik lifts a hand, his fingers touching Nadir’s chin, raising it. Nadir’s heart is beating even faster. Their noses bump together, the air between them getting closer. “Nadir…”

Nadir doesn’t want to talk anymore, so he cups Erik’s face and kisses him. Erik gasps into the kiss, shocked. Nadir licks over Erik’s lips, kissing more firmly, but frowns when Erik stands frozen, not returning the kiss.

“Erik,” Nadir’s hands come up on Erik’s forearms, his thumbs caressing gently. “You have to kiss me back.”

Unsure, but with want in his eyes, Erik closes the distance between them and kisses back. He’s clumsy, clearly not skilled but eager. Nadir lets Erik explore his mouth. He lands his hands on Erik’s hips, his fingers trailing the skin under Erik’s tank top and he feels Erik shaking. He then thinks back at the image of the doctors touching Erik, and he pulls back from the kiss.

Erik moans at the loss.  “What?” he says, out of breath.

“Is this okay? Me touching you?”  Nadir asks. He wants Erik to feel safe. He doesn’t want to bring back bad memories.

Erik stares down at Nadir, his eyes almost black with lust, and then he nods. “Touch me, _please_.” he whispers. 

Nadir growls softly and he lifts Erik up with ease, carrying him to the couch. They both collapse on it, and Erik groans under Nadir’s weight. Nadir crawls a bit up, and makes a sound when he feels Erik’scock against his hip, hard and hot through his cotton underwear.

A soft whimper escapes Erik’s lips, and he spreads his legs, so Nadir can lay in between them. Nadir props himself up, hovering over Erik and he reaches for the mask, but Erik grabs him by the wrist.

“No,” Erik says. “I don’t want to ruin this with my face.”

“But I want to see it,” Nadir replies softly, giving little kisses on Erik’s lips. “Let me try.”

Erik kisses back. “I don’t want you to throw up.”

“Don’t say that, Erik. _Please_.”

The grip on his wrist softens, giving him permission. With a shaky breath, Nadir rest his hand on the unfeeling cheek of the mask and pulls it away from Erik’s face. It’s been years he saw that face, but this time it saddens him instead of horror. A hole where a nose should’ve been, the sunken eyes and skin that’s tightly stretched over his bones. A death’s head.

Nadir drops the mask on the ground and then slides his fingers over Erik’s face, feeling the sweaty skin tenderly. Erik keeps staring into Nadir’s eyes, possibly watching for a reaction. Nadir tries his best not to hurt Erik, and he manages to keep calm. He leans in and kisses on Erik’s forehead.

He hears a gasp beneath him, and Nadir keeps kissing; on Erik’s closed eyes, his temple and just above the gaped hole. He finds Erik’s lips again, and kisses him slowly but intensely. Erik rolls his hips, and Nadir moans into the kiss, feeling Erik’s cock against his own. He digs his fingers into Erik’s hips, pulling him down and then moves his own hips against Erik’s.

Erik gives out a long, loud moan , filling the whole living room. It turns Nadir on, hearing those delightful sounds from Erik’s lips and he buries his face in Erik’s neck, kissing and sucking the skin there. He slides his hands up, pulling the tank top over Erik’s head.

His hands stop just above Erik’s underwear, then he looks at Erik, who’s all flustered, but gives a jerky nod. Swallowing, Nadir raises Erik’s legs so he can pull his underwear off. Erik’s thighs spread, so presentable and Nadir watches. He breathes heavily, looking at the hot, thick cock resting against Erik’s belly. Pre-cum already leaking from the head.

Nadir undresses himself quickly, before he falls upon Erik again, teeth and tongue making a mess out of Erik’s mouth. Erik moans lazily, wrapping his arm around Nadir’s dark body, moving his hips together with Nadir’s. Their kiss is slick and so wet, that drool is smearing against Nadir’s corners, and below Erik’s chin.

“ _Ah, Nadir_ ,” Erik breaths when they pull apart, dizzy from the lack of air. “ _Please_.”

“Please what?” Nadir replies. “Tell me, Erik.”

“Touch me,” Erik pants. “ _There_.”

Nadir chokes at the begging, getting too much for him and he nods. He slips his hand below, wrapping his fingers around Erik’s cock. He watches Erik’s face for a reaction as he slides his hand up and down, giving a soft squeeze at the head, his thumb slipping over it.

Erik opens his mouth in a silent moan, arching his back. Nadir adjusts himself, giving more room as he strokes the cock in his hand. Erik bites his lip, as he ruts against Nadir’s hips, his cock slipping in and out of Nadir’s fist. Small drips of cum leak from the tip, making Nadir’s fingers sticky, but he loves it.

Wet sounds fill the room, and it doesn’t take long or Erik cums in Nadir’s hand, ropes of sticky cum pool on Erik’s stomach, below his navel. Erik’s legs shake in the aftermath. Nadir gives a few strokes, Erik’s hips jerking in response.

“Nadir, stop… _it’s too much_.” Erik hisses.

Nadir withdraws his hand, breathing hard through his nostrils. He feels his own hard cock against his belly, craving for attention. Erik is watching it, then looks back up at Nadir. Erik scoots back, so he sits up, his own come dripping over his thighs. It shouldn’t be so hot, but it is to Nadir.

“Do you want me…?” Erik asks, not finishing. He lifts his hand, but Nadir grabs it softly. He looks into Erik’s eyes, who looks at him in confusion. “No?”

“I want your mouth.” Nadir whispers, flushing.

Erik watches him, before his eyes widen and then nods in understanding. “I’ve never… Yes, I will.” is his response. He steps off the couch, and Nadir moves too, his back against the couch, and spreading his legs, so Erik can kneel in between them. His heart beats wildly, especially when Erik looks up, his face near his cock. He dreamt of this many times, and now it’s happening.

Erik opens his mouth, and Nadir holds his breath when Erik sweeps his tongue over the head, tasting the slit. Then he sucks his lips around it with a moan, his right hand wrapping around the base. Nadir breaths again, his chest up and down heavily.

Nadir lays his hand on top of Erik’s head, pulling his dark, long hair out of his face. Erik sucks again, and Nadir bites his lip, exerting more pressure on Erik’s skull to guide his mouth more forward. Erik gags a bit, but he goes willingly, his mouth opening wider.

Erik withdraw his hand as he takes in more, but pulls back, breathing for air. Spit clings to his bottom lip, and his lips are swollen. “You’re so good,” Nadir says, his voice heavy with lust. “So good to me.”

With a moan, Erik looks up and opens his mouth as wide as he could, before he swallows Nadir’s cock again. Nadir hisses, and not thinking about it, he rolls his hips, going deeper in Erik’s hot mouth. Erik didn’t choke, but he did hum, to please Nadir.

He’s drooling, the sides of his mouth and chin are dripping. He tries to swallow back in, but with Nadir’s cock on his mouth, he gags and more drool soak his face. That doesn’t stop him to lick Nadir’s cock in his mouth, his tongue tasting the pre-cum.

“Erik, I – I’m close.” Nadir moans, warning him. Erik gives his last suck, and pulls back. He wraps his hand around the cock, stroking the hard flesh, and flicks his thumb over the head . Warm bliss comes over Nadir, his hips jerking as cum spurts over Erik’s chest and some land on his bottom lip.

Nadir closes his eyes, trying to regain his strength and then he feels Erik on top of him. He opens his eyes slightly and moans into the kiss Erik gives him. He tastes himself on Erik’s lips, and he doesn’t care as he cups Erik’s head, deepening the kiss.

“You’re mine.” Erik growls, breaking away from the kiss. “No one else can have you.”

Nadir pants, looking into Erik’s intense stare. “I’m yours.”

Erik grins wide and he kisses Nadir again.

*******

Nadir feels like he’s waking from a dream, and he yawns, not wanting to wake up. He shifts to his side, laying more comfortable but stiffs when his hand touches something cold. He opens his eyes and all he sees is a pale, thin naked body next to him.

Nadir leans on his elbow and watches the sleeping man next to him, memories from yesterday coming back to him. He blushes furiously, and lays back on his side, trying not to freak out. He also realizes he’s in his room, instead the living room.

Erik moves in his sleep, turning his back to Nadir, who gasps at the sight, now it’s light. Deep, dark scars meet Nadir’s eyes, some scars longer than the others. Someone had dug his knife into Erik, scarring his whole back like a filthy animal. White, hot fury fills Nadir and he clenches his hands into fists.

“Do you regret it?” Erik murmurs sudden, scaring Nadir from his anger. “Regret loving a corpse?”

Nadir doesn’t answer immediately, his fingers tracing the scars, and Erik pulls away from the touch. Nadir frowns at his reaction. “Who did this to you?” he asks softly. “Is he… dead?”

“I asked you a question first, Nadir.”

“I will answer if you look at me!”

Erik turns at that, leaning on his elbow, and he looks down at Nadir. With more light in the room, Nadir sees more details on Erik’s face; the little scars above his right eye and the freckles splattered right above his gaping hole where his nose should have been. He smiles.

“No, I don’t regret it.” he answers. He sees the relief in Erik’s eyes, tension in his shoulders gone. Erik leans into his space, kissing his lips. Nadir grimaces. “Morning breath!” he coughs.

A slight shade of pink spread on Erik’s cheeks and he pulls back. “Sorry!” he mumbles.

“Come here.” Nadir embraces him, laying his head on Erik’s bony chest. He hears Erik’s heartbeat. “And you’re not a corpse.”

“Nadir, I’m –”

“Because corpses don’t have a beating heart.” Nadir interrupts, his fingers sliding slowly over Erik’s belly. He doesn’t care how corny it sounds, and he knows that Erik secretly likes it. Erik hums in response, curling his fingers in Nadir’s hair.

“What are we now, Nadir?” Erik asks, his voice serious. Nadir moves a little, so he can look into Erik’s eyes.

“I don’t know… you tell me.” he teases.

Erik’s eyes harden. “I don’t like sharing. I don’t want anyone touching you, except for me.” He says possessively. Nadir’s dick gives a twitch at the tone of Erik’s voice, and he sees that Erik notices it too. He smirks. “I’m the only one who can touch you, every single –” his long, spidery  fingers slide down Nadir’s stomach, stopping at his navel. “- part of your body is _mine_.”

The bell rings downstairs. Ana barks.

The moment is broken, and Nadir jumps out of his bed in a hurry, dressing in his pajamas. He opens the window, leaning out to see who’s outside the door. To his shock, he sees Raoul’s brother, Philippe,  standing outside. Then he hears a _bang_ inside and someone walking down the stairs. Frightened, he gestures to Erik to stay in bed, before he hurries down the stairs too, seeing Raoul walking to the door.

“ _No_!” he grabs Raoul by the arm in the last second, pulling him away from the door. Raoul looks in shock.

“Nadir?  What’s wrong?”

“Did you call him? I know he’s a detective! I thought I could trust you!” whispers Nadir out of breath, not wanting Philippe to hear him. Raoul looks offended.

“My brother will bring us to Spain, or did you forget that since your old friend is back from the dead?” then Raoul shakes his head, sighing. “Look, I’ll keep your secret, but there’s a huge chance my brother will know about your friend’s escape though he will act stupid now because he’s my brother, and not a detective. So act normal, don’t give him hints, and everything will be okay.”

Nadir nods quickly, releasing Raoul’s arm.  He walks back to the living room, trying to calm himself. Raoul opens the door, and he greets his brother excitedly.

“My little brother!” Philippe embraces Raoul tightly. “Are you ready for the trip?”

“I sure am.”

Raoul leads Philippe to the living room, offering him to sit on the couch. Nadir’s blood freezes when he sees Erik’s mask laying on the floor next to the couch, and clumsily he kicks the mask under it. Philippe raises an eyebrow at him.

“Everything okay, Nadir?” he asks. Raoul gives a glance of annoyance behind his brother’s back.

“I thought I saw a spider.” Nadir lies. “Anyway, how’s it going?”

Philippe sits on the couch, yawning. “I’m tired, a case I’m on is too much to handle. So I’m glad with this little vacation.”

“Oh, what kind of case?” Raoul asks casually.

“None of your business, that’s what.” Philippe looks around curiously, and it gets on Nadir’s nerves. “Where are your parents?” he asks suddenly, directed at Nadir.

“Um, they’re also on vacation, in Greece.” Nadir answers. “Do you want some coffee? I have tea, if you want.”

“Coffee, thank you.” Philippe replies. Nadir walks to the kitchen, turning the coffee machine on. “So you kids have been all alone in this house all week?”

“You act like we can’t take care of ourselves.” Raoul laughs, sitting in the arm chair. “We have been to Rouen, and the masked ball yesterday.”

Nadir wants to throw a teacup at Raoul’s head.

Philippe looks surprised. “A ball? Since when do you like dancing?”

“I don’t, but Christine wanted to go, and I can’t say no to her.”

Philippe stays quiet, and Nadir places his coffee on the salon table. He glances quickly at the older brother, and sees how his eyes darken at the mention of Christine. “Um, I’m going upstairs and change outfits. I’ll be right back.”

He walks up the stairs, remembering to act normal. In the corridor, he sees Christine pulling the suitcases out the guest room. She smiles softly at the sight of Nadir. “I guess you won’t come with us?” she whispers.

Nadir feels bad, ‘cause he knows how much Christine was looking forward to it, but he shakes his head. “I’m staying with him.”

“I understand. I hope you guys catch up, and –” she leans forward. “- _you know what else_.” she wiggles her eyebrows for emphasis. Nadir wants to dig a hole and bury himself.

“Thank you, Christine.” he says simply.

“You’re welcome.”

Christine lifts the suitcases and walks down the stairs. Nadir walks into his room, and sees with relief that Erik is still laying in bed, falling back into sleep. _Oh, only if he knew who is downstairs_. Nadir changes clothes, and then goes back downstairs. Raoul is laughing at something what Philippe said, and Christine sits stiffly at the kitchen table. Why isn’t she sitting next to Philippe?

“But I’m glad you guys are okay, I heard there was a accident in Rouen, close to the ball you guys were at.” Philippe says, his eyes locking briefly with Nadir’s. “You guys saw nothing?”

“Accident?” Raoul replies, raising an eyebrow. “We heard and saw nothing. We left very early.”

“You left a party early?”

“Yes? Why all the questions, brother?” Raoul laughs nervously. “Why wouldn’t we leave early if we knew you would pick us up the next morning?”

Philippe released a breath of relief, smiling. “Yes, of course.”

Alarm bells ring in Nadir’s head, and everything in him tells him to protect Erik, to send his friends away with the older brother quickly as he can. He claps his hands together, all attention on him. “Well, enough chit-chat. You guys have a long ride to go, I’ll help with the suitcases.”

“Why not come with us?  If your parents are in Greece, I don’t see why you can’t tag along?” Philippe asks, standing up.

Nadir swallows, searching for a good reason to stay home alone. Then his eyes fall on Ana. “I can’t, who will feed the dog? Besides, I want to see my parents when they’re back from vacation.”

Philippe nods in understanding, but Nadir sees he’s struggling with something, not satisfied. After deep thought, he realizes that Philippe is not here for his little brother nor Christine, maybe Nadir is too paranoid or too nervous, but he doesn’t like how Philippe is studying his room for clues or some sort. He knows about Erik. He knows Erik will search for him. Nadir wants him gone, right now.

When Philippe takes slow steps to the door, his eyes fall on the white piece of mask who sticks out under the couch. Nadir’s heartbeat goes crazy, and he looks at Philippe, searching for a reaction. A dark look flashes over Philippe’s face, and he raise his eyes at Nadir.

“That’s my mask.” he lies, though he knows it will not work. In his corner, he sees Raoul standing up also, aware of the tension. “Look, it’s already late, we should –”

“Do you take me as a fool?” Philippe replies, placing one hand on his hip. “That I don’t see that you guys –” he glances at the mask and back. “- are lying to me? Where is _he_?”

Nadir doesn’t know what to do, feeling trapped. He needs to protect Erik or –

“Philippe de Chagny will walk out of this house,” rings Christine’s voice suddenly behind Nadir. “And will leave this town, he won’t remember this.”

Nadir turns slowly to Christine who stands up from the kitchen table, with wide eyes and makes a sound when Philippe turns suddenly with no word. He walks out the house, door shutting behind him. After a few seconds they hear the rumble of the car starting. Raoul hurries to the window, pushing the curtain to watch.

“H-He’s gone.” Raoul steps away from the window, before he finally looks at Christine, disbelief in his eyes. “I… You have the same powers as _him_.”

“I’m sorry.” Christine bites her lip. “I’m sorry I didn’t –” she waves her hand, agitated with herself. “- I didn’t want to, but I was scared he would hurt you.”

“Or,” Raoul says, walking to Christine. He places his hand gently on her shoulder. “You explain us why you suddenly have the same powers.”

Christine glances between Raoul and Nadir and then sighs in defeat. “I remember everything,” she starts. “Since that day at the hospital, everything came back to me. I was scared, and I didn’t want to burden you guys. So, I lied about everything. I knew whom I saw in Rouen.” her eyes rest on Nadir. “It was Erik. I could feel what he had done, and somehow, by seeing him, all my memories came back.”

She takes a deep breath, shaking. “I still didn’t tell, even though I knew how much he meant to you. I’m sorry, I’m such a bad friend.” tears are beginning to spill, and Christine sweeps them away quickly. “I’m sorry. I always had this power but didn’t know until a few days back.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Nadir tries to calm her, resting his hand on her back. “I mean,” he shrugs. “Even if you told me that my best friend is suddenly alive, I wouldn’t have believed you.”

Christine sniffs, a small smile curling on her face. “You would’ve. He told me things only you and he would know.” She stabs a finger onto his chest. “Like, your little hiding place behind his old house.”

_Give me my mask, Nadir_ , a deep voice enters Nadir’s mind. Nadir turns, expecting Erik to stand behind him, but he sees no one. Then his legs move on their own, and he grabs the mask from under the couch. Christine raise an eyebrow at him in question, even Raoul looks confused at his sudden movement.

“Nadir?”

“Um, Erik wants his mask.” Nadir answers while he walks the stairs, a little bit freaked out. He sees Erik at top of the stairs, wearing his clothing, which are way too big for him. It isn’t the first time Erik wore his clothing, hell, not even the hundredth, but this time something growls in Nadir in need at the sight.

He gives the mask, and Erik puts it on quickly.  

“You were in my mind. Are you a wizard?” Nadir says, teasing. “How did you do that?”

“Nonsense, I was using my ventriloquism.” Erik walks down the stairs, his hand holding the pants from falling down his hips. Nadir follows. “It’s nothing new.”

Downstairs, Nadir sees Erik watching Christine for a second before he turns again to Nadir. “I heard what happened. We should move, before he returns.”

“Erik, I want to –” Christine starts, but stops when Erik looks over his shoulder, anger in his eyes.

“Unless your next words are an apology, I don’t want to hear it.” Erik says, his voice controlled, but his eyes betraying what he really feels. Nadir touches his forearm, for a reason he doesn’t know why. To calm him? He knows about Erik’s temper, and it wasn’t pretty. Though he doesn’t understand why he’s angry at Christine.

“I want to say sorry.” Christine steps forward, and Erik turns his whole body to her, listening. Raoul keeps close to Christine, his hand still on her shoulder, stroking her with his thumb. “I left you alone at the asylum. Our plan was to escape together, but I left you when you got shot.”

“No, I told you to run and to leave me behind. But,” Erik lifts his hand, pointing to Christine. “You never called the police, or told anyone of _that place_.”

“I lost my memories, Erik,” tears escape again out her eyes. “Please, believe me, I fell from a cliff and hit my head hard. I would’ve saved you, all the other patients too, but I couldn’t remember. I can’t imagine how you must have felt, alone in that cell.”

Erik stays quiet, his eyes on the ground now. The anger leaving his eyes.

“I’m so sorry, my old friend. Please, forgive me.” Christine reaches for Erik’s hand, smiling through her tears when he lets her take his hand. She squeezes it. Erik’s lips twitches up in a smile, and for a second Nadir thinks everything will be okay, that Erik will accept Christine’s apology, but how wrong he was.

In a blink, Erik slides his hand up to grab Christine’s wrist and he twists it. Christine gives a yell of pain, and Erik gets close in her face. “You really think I will believe that? You lost your memory, and then, from all people in France, you befriend my –”

Raoul barges between them, and Erik releases his grip on Christine, his angry eyes now on Raoul. Nadir  steps forward too, his hand on Erik’s shoulder. “Erik, she’s telling the truth –”

“Don’t you ever lay a finger on her, you sick freak!” Raoul barks. “What’s wrong with you!? You wanted an apology and you got one!”

Erik grits his teeth, snarling. He turns back to Nadir, ignoring Raoul completely. “I’m leaving this house,” he says. “I’m not going back. I’m not going to be locked up again!”

“No, you’re not leaving me again! Where would you go?” Nadir says, getting angry too.

“Back to Rouen, warn the others, and leave this country!”

Nadir frowns at the word ‘ _others_ ’, and then he remembers the ball. _‘I’m with acquaintances, but they’re busy with each other_ ,’ Erik said. Erik was not alone that night. There are more like him and Christine.

“D-Did you… plan to leave me?” Nadir whispers, wishing that Raoul and Christine weren’t here. “ _Again_?”

Erik stares, then shakes his head. “No,” he answers. “you can come with me.”

“ _No_! Nadir will not follow you, you were his friend once but he clearly sees now how dangerous this is.” Raoul butts in, looking desperately at Nadir. “Nadir, _please_!”

Nadir looks at Raoul, and then back at Erik. Can he truly let Erik go, now that he knows he’s alive? Now he can feel his touches again he craved for so long?  He doesn’t want to run from the police, but he also doesn’t want to abandon his friend.

Erik sees his silence as a no and with no word, he turns to walk away and – Nadir grabs his arm.

“I’m going with you.”


	5. The Monster in the Asylum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A quick warning; this chapter can be heavy. I don't want to spoil things, just watch the new tags.

**11.26.1999 [past]**

_“Is it him?”_

_“Yes, I looked under the mask. It’s him. His mother told me he was ugly as fuck, and I assure you, no one will kiss that mouth when they see underneath.” a woman sighed._

_Erik opened his eyes slowly, but closed them again when bright light shined sharply. He heard the engine of a car rumbling. He remembered his house on fire, and his parents screaming for help. He needed to help them…_

_“I think he’s awake, shall we gag him? What if his powers are true?”_

_“Do it.”_

_Hands hold his head steady, and the woman – he assumed – put something leathery in his mouth. Erik gagged in response, and he tried to struggle in earnest now, but he felt more hands straining his arms and legs. With the gag secured, they left him alone, and Erik opened his eyes. An Arabian woman with long black curly hair hovered above him, with a cold smile on her beautiful face._

_“Oh shit, look at his eyes. They’re not natural! We have the jackpot.” A boy in his twenties sat next to him, grinning widely. The woman snorted._

_“His whole face is not natural. Don’t get too excited,” the woman laid her hand on Erik’s leg, squeezing it. Erik bit in his gag. “Oh, he’s feisty. You probably wondering why you’re here or why this is happening.”_

_She pinched the nose of his mask, moving it around in amusement. Erik growled in response._

_“Well, so it happened that I met your mother in a bar in Rouen. She was drunk, highly aggressive I tell you, but I was curious about what she said. Her son was highly dangerous, whatever he’d say, you’d do it. The people at the bar thought she was crazy, but I knew better.” now she tapped her nails against the mask. “You see, I have people like you. All locked up in a special place. Mine to have. I like to collect rare specimens, and oh boy, when I heard about you, I almost started drooling.”_

_Erik felt sick. He heard the boy chuckling softly, loving the situation. His mother had talked about him? To strangers in a bar? No, she wouldn’t do that. He shook his head._

_“So, I talked to her. She told me everything. She presented you on a silver platter to me. Magic, manipulation… mind control. You will be my trophy. You will give me a lot of money in the fights.”_

_Tears escaped his eyes, fear filling his whole body at the tone of her voice._

_“Of course, I can’t let her or your precious dad stay alive. You know, I can’t knock on the door and ask if I can have their son. So, now your house is burning and they will burn alive. People of the village will think it’s natural, an accident with the gas? To them, you and your parents are dead. You are dead.”_

_“Hmm, I did hear someone…” the boy said suddenly. “Someone calling for him.” he nodded his head to Erik._

_“That brat didn’t see us, now shush!” hissed the woman._

_Erik didn’t listen anymore. This wench. She destroyed his life. He would kill her._

**1.1.2000**

_“Stand up! Stand up!”_

_A whip struck his back, but Erik’s scream got muffled by the gag in his mouth. With shaking legs, he stood upright, his hands chained behind his back. The wench grabbed him by his hair, twirling her fingers around it. Erik hissed._

_“You will listen to me, you ugly mutt! You will do as I say! When I say you kill the person, you will do it!”_

_She tossed him on the ground, and his knees got scraped._

_“Thirty whips and no food for three days!”_

_“Yes, madam.”_

**1.31.2000**

_Erik killed someone. His first kill. He hated himself but he was hungry. He was starving._

**10.22.2001**

_Christine was crying. Erik understood, because he also cried on his first day. He decided not to bother her, letting her cry until there were no tears left. It was late at night when she stopped and gave her attention to Erik, staring rudely at his mask._

_In the end, Erik stared back. That spooked her, and she turned her back to Erik._

_“What happened to your parents?” asked Erik. Were her parents killed too? Like his?_

_She stayed silent, and with a shrug, Erik crawled under the covers. Just when he closed his eyes, she spoke, “I – I… They killed my dad.”_

_Erik glanced at her back, nodding. “Your mother?”_

_“She… she died when I was very young.”_

_It was silent for a while, and then Erik spoke again, “She killed my parents too.”_

_Christine sniffed loud. “What do they want with us?”_

_“To experiment with our powers.”_

**5.4.2002**

_“I… I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to kill.”_

_It hurt Erik to see Christine like this. She was not a fighter, her gift was not made for murder like Erik’s and he wished he could save her from this hell. He ripped a piece of his shirt and placed it gently on her wound. Christine hissed at the touch._

_“Do you have someone special in your life?” Erik asked, trying to distract her from the pain. “A friend?” he swallowed. “A boyfriend?” his own thoughts go to Nadir. Oh, how he missed his best friend. His lips against his own. The soft touch._

_Christine giggled sudden, and Erik raised his brows. “There was a boy I met at a beach.” she said. “He rescued my scarf from the sea. We talked and laugh, he would visit me very often at my dad’s home. We told stories… but that’s a distant memory. He won’t remember me. I won’t see him ever again.”_

_Her wound kept bleeding, and Erik sighed. “A scarf, eh? Why were you wearing a scarf at the beach? Trying to lure boys into the sea? I’m onto you.”_

_“Because it was cold, you silly.” Christine laughed, but hissed in pain quickly. “Oh, damn her.”_

_“Her? You fought a woman?”_

_“I didn’t fight! I couldn’t!” now she pouted. “But she did a dumb dance and she caught me off guard.”_

_“Oh Christine, you’re not made to kill. Your voice is meant to heal.”_

**8.30.2002**

_“Do you… have someone special?”_

_Erik washed his bloody hands in the sink, before he turned to watch Christine. “Why this question?” he dried his hands on the sides of his pants. Christine shrugged._

_“Just curious about your life before this. You never talk about yourself.”_

_“There’s nothing to talk about.” He tapped his fingers against his porcelain mask. “I don’t exactly have lovers to talk about.”_

_Christine snorted. “Your face can’t be that bad. Come on, no crushes? Anything?”_

_Erik sat on the bed. “Yeah, tons. They were barging through my door, asking for my hand.” he replied sarcastically. Christine giggled._

_“I’m talking about you, did you have a crush? A pretty girl?” teased Christine, pouting her lips in a kissy motion._

_“Girls run away from me, so I don’t have experience with them –“_

_“Hey, I’m a girl!”_

_“ – but there was a boy. His name was Nadir.”_

_Christine looked a bit surprised, but she nodded for him to continue. Erik bit his lip._

_“I heard kids bullying him, so I went out to look. They called him a monkey, because of his skin, and told him to return where he came from. It… he reminded me of myself. I don’t know why. But I saved him. He didn’t understand a word I said, and I didn’t understand a word he said… but we became friends.”_

_“Just friends…? Tell me more!” Christine said impatiently._

_“What’s to tell? I taught him French, and in return I learned Persian. We did everything together. The older I got, how more… I... He got more beautiful.” so beautiful. Erik dreamt of that face many times._

_“You fell in love.” Christine swooned._

_“S-Shut up! He didn’t love me back.” Erik gulped. “He pushed me away when I kissed him.”_

_“Oh,” her smile faltered, her eyes down. “I’m sorry, Erik.”_

_“It’s okay. People like me don’t have lovers. No one will love me.”_

**7.16.2003**

_“Run! Leave me!”_

_“No, I can’t, grab my hand!”_

_“For god’s sake, run! Leave this place! Forget about this! Forget about me!”_

_And that sealed the trick. With tears in her eyes, Christine ran through the front door, to her freedom. Erik heard footsteps behind him, and with his last strength, he stood up. They had shot him in his left leg, and it hurt like hell. The guards had their guns pointed at him. Wisely, Erik kept his mouth shut, knowing they will shoot if he did._

_The head of the guards walked the stairs in a hurry, headphones around his neck. “Don’t shoot!” he screamed. “You imbeciles! She will kill me if you kill him!”_

_He pushed himself through the guards, watching Erik carefully._

_“Sir, what about the girl –”_

_“Follow her! Take her back! You! Bring him to the nursery, here’s the gag.”_

_But they never found Christine. Days went into weeks, and she was nowhere to be found. Erik was still healing, and each day he hoped the police will barge in the asylum and save him. But no police came. Erik was stuck here forever. He truly will never see Nadir again._

**3.13.2004**

_“Oh, Javert, your pet is not so strong as mine.”_

_Erik shivered when he felt the warm fingers over his naked back, her nails sharp against his scars. Erik was on his knees, obedient next to her, his head held down. A gag was put in his mouth, so he couldn’t speak. His only clothing was a piece of cloth over his hips. Yes, even his mask was not put on._

_“What, that ugly thing beside you is stronger? Do you even feed him? He looks he’s about to fall over.” Javert stabbed a fork in his food, taking a bite. His pet was, unlike Erik, standing next to him. She was also fully clothed, her chin high and hands behind her back. She truly looked stronger than Erik._

_“My pet is special,” the wench gave a gesture for Erik to stand up. Erik obeys immediately, standing tall, his bony chest forward. “No one has  beat him, and no one shall.”_

_Javert grimaces at the sight of Erik’s face. “I’m eating here!”_

_“I think you have enough. Let them battle, if you’re so secure about your success.” The wench stood up from the dining table, waving to the door at the right. “That will lead to the gym.”_

_“Fine, I hope you’re not a sore loser. Like, with the other one.”_

_Erik followed, his eyes still on Javert’s pet, searching for weaknesses or what her specialty is. He saw she’s doing the same, but stopped at his face, turning away. The gym was not so huge, ceiling low and with no windows. It smelled like rotten flesh. Many people died here thanks to Erik’s sly tongue._

_The wench grabbed her headphone from the wall, and gave one to Javert, who raised an brow in question._

_“You need it, unless you want to die besides your pet.” she said._

_With a frown, Javert accepted the headphone and put it over his ears. The wench did the same, and then walked to Erik. She released the gag, resting her hand on his cheek. “You know what to do,” she said. “Be quick about it.”_

_Erik nodded and he took his place at the gym, standing at the opposite side of the other pet. The wench and Javert stood at the side, smiles on their faces. “We’re ready!” she said._

_What the other pet did, took Erik by surprise. He expected an attack, like all the others did, but no, this pet started to dance. She especially used her hips, and to Erik it looked ridiculous, and he had enough when she twirled around like a ballerina. “Stop!” he commanded, and the pet stood still. “What are you doing?” because seriously, he wanted to know her powers._

_The pet seemed mighty surprised by the question. “I’m trying to seduce you.”_

_It took some time for Erik to process the answer, before he started laughing hysterically. “S-Seduce? With what?”_

_“With my dance, it always works! All men and women bow down for me.” The pet stomped her feet on the ground like a child._

_“I’m no man nor woman.” Erik scuffed, feeling irritated. He took one step forward, while the pet took a step backwards. “Stand still,” he said calmly, and smiled when she did. He walked towards her. “Ever been scared of monsters?”_

_“Monsters do not exist.” The pet answered._

_Erik circled around her, now grinning. “Oh, but they do.”_

_“What, are you saying you’re a monster? A little bit dramatic aren’t –”_

_“Bite your own foot off!”_

_With disgust, he watched how the pet falls on her butt, pulling her own foot to her mouth and with a scared face, she took a huge bit of her heel. Blood smeared the corners of her mouth, and Erik turned away. He stared at the wench, who looked pleased, while Javert looked in horror._

_“Tell him to stop!” Javert grabbed the wench by her shoulder, shaking. “Tell him!”_

_The wench tapped against her headphone, taunting. “I cannot hear you.” but she gestured to Erik to stop. She was used that her opponents wanted to stop midway._

_Erik turned back to the pet, watching how she tried to bit through the bone. “You stop right now. It’s enough.”_

_That broke the spell on her, and the realization what she had done took a while, and then she screamed in pain. Tears spilled over her cheeks. Erik kneeled next to her, grabbing her by the chin, forcing her to look upon his face._

_“Monsters do exist.”_

**7.27.2004**

_“How much for him? Ohh, he’s so ugly to look at, but having power over him is all I want.”_

_“He’s not for sale. He’s mine.”_

_The wench pulled the chain, and Erik felt onto his knees. Because it was a sunny day, the wench wanted a walk in the garden with her precious pet. Erik never felt more than a dog than at this moment. Javert was back after his defeat months ago, and to be honest, Erik was not too thrilled about it._

_“Not even for one night?”_

_Erik’s eyes widen at the suggesting, remembering that one night, and he looked up. Even the wench looked disgusted. “Are you that desperate? What, is your wife not good enough?” then she shook her head. “My answer is still no.”_

_“Don’t tell me you actually care about him.” Javert laughed._

_“I don’t like sharing, that’s all.” she rested her hand on Erik’s head, stroking his hair. “He only belongs to me.” then she glanced hard at Javert, a threat. “No one will touch him except for me. Any one who does, get killed.”_

_Javert raised his hands up in defeat. “Calm down, Khanam. It was just a question.”_

_“Never question me again, if you want to live.”_

_***_

_“Open your eyes.”_

_A hand smacked him on the head, and slowly Erik opened his eyes. He felt dizzy, his muscles heavy but working. A man hovered above him, a grin on his face. “You’re nothing. All those rumors about you, how scary you are and shouldn’t be meddled with. But you’re nothing with the drugs I gave you.”_

_Erik’s eyes widen in panic, especially now recognizes the guy as Javert. His stubby fingers were working’ on his fly. “N-No…” Erik rasped, his voice heavy. It hurt to speak. What in god’s name did he gave him? Erik struggled, but the belt held him firm in place._

_“I’m going to enjoy this, and you will too, if you listen.”_

_No! No, no! Erik struggled more, but Javert cupped his face, sticking his tongue in him. Erik felt sick, with how the disgusting tongue moved against his own, and with anger he bit his teeth into it. Javert yelled in pain, and Erik kept biting it until it tore off. Javert withdrew, screaming in pain and spluttering blood._

_Erik spat Javert’s tongue on the ground. He laughed maniacally  while a door opened behind him._

_“What’s happening here!?” a woman’s voice commanded._

_“Urgm… He.. he ‘ite my tongue o –“ more blood drooled, and Erik kept laughing. “Shut up!”_

_“Gentlemen, excuse me. I have to settle this. I’ll return to you shortly.”_

_Heels clicked on pavement, and Erik stopped laughing. He looked sideways  and saw the wench. She did not look happy._

_“Y-You –” Erik shut his mouth when the wench pulled a gun and pushed it against his temple._

_“One more word and I’ll use it.” then she directed her eyes on Javert. “What is he doing out his cell? Why are you still here?”_

_“I… I wan’ed to… He a mons’er.”_

_“I don’t understand a word you’re saying. So I’ll ask you some simple questions, and you will nod or shake your head. Understand?”_

_Javert nodded._

_“Smart boy. Now, were you planning to hurt my precious possession? No lying.”_

_Javert didn’t move for a while, but then he shook his head. The wench sighed in irritation._

_“I said no lying. Were you planning to rape him? Your fly is open, so I’ll guess yes.”_

_Again, Javert shook his head, now tears in his eyes, afraid of the outcome. Erik couldn’t say he felt sorry for him. The wench chuckled softly. “Oh, how much I hate lying.” She lifted her gun, and with no warning, she shoot Javert dead. It didn’t even faze Erik._

_The wench raised her other hand and lifted Erik’s head with her fingers. Erik looked into her eyes. Erik felt nothing but hatred for her. She had destroyed his life. Thanks to her he will never see Nadir again._

_“No one will touch you like that. I’ll make sure of that. You’re mine to touch.”_

_She slammed the gun against his temple and it went dark._

**2.25.2005**

_Erik wanted to scream, but the gag didn’t let him. The whip struck again and again, baring through his flesh. He felt the blood sipping over his back and sides. Earlier that day there had been another fight, but Erik refused to fight. His opponent was a mere child, not older than six at most. The wench was furious._

_This was his punishment for disobeying. Like it always was. Fifty whips._

_After the last whip, tears rolled over Erik’s face, and his shoulders shook with the pain. The guard grunted, grabbing him by his chain and dragged him out the torture chamber. “I wonder how you’re still alive. All off this for a child.”_

_With his last strength, Erik slammed his fists against the guard’s temple, but to his disappointment  the guard only groans in pain. The guard slapped Erik across the face. “You filthy –“_

_“It seems fifty whips is not enough.”_

_Erik turned quickly where the voice came from, and his eyes widen at the sight of the child from earlier. The child stood next to the wench, shaking in fear. Erik growled, and that deserved him another slap in the face._

_“It was not smart of you, Erik,” said the wench. “to show your weakness. You care about children. I just bought him, just so you will do whatever I say, or –“ she places her hand on the child’s shoulder, squeezing it. “- else he dies.”_

_Erik felt to his knees, feeling defeated. He heard her laughing softly._

_“What’s your name, boy?”_

_“R-Reza.”_

**8.14.2006**

_On lonely days Erik thought of Nadir. What would he be doing? Would he be in school? Did Nadir… forget about him? Glad he was gone after their last encounter? Would he… have a girlfriend?_

_With that thought alone, he presented better in fights. His mind was numb, and slowly but surely, his feelings too. He couldn’t stomach the thought that someone else is was making Nadir happier. Had the chance to kiss him every day. Nadir was his alone._

_The wench was happy with his new rage, but Erik was already thinking how to escape this hellhole. Again._

**6.19.2007**

_Erik left his humanity this day. He really didn’t want to use Giry, but she was the only option for his escape._

_The moment she opened the door, all hell came loose. He wasn’t thinking anymore, his mind set on one thing; to kill every single employer in this place. All the guards were too late with their guns, instead of them firing at him, they pointed at themselves with a slip of his tongue. Cell doors were opened and patients walked freely, even killing guards in their own way._

_Erik’s naked feet were soaked with blood, and the screams of murder felt like music to his ears._

_“I didn’t hurt anyone – argh!” a knife in the chest._

_“I’m not… I’m not a doctor!” head smashed through the window, shards of glass stuck in the eye sockets._

_Erik walked the stairs, knowing the wench will be up in her office. This time he heard a child screaming when he opened the door of her office. The wench had her back turned to him. She was frantic, struggling with Reza, who bit and kicked at her._

_“He will listen to me if I have you, you brat!”_

_Erik was silent as he gripped her whole face from behind. He turned her body, his tall body blocking Reza’s view of what he’s about to do. He squeezed his hand harder, feeling his fingers slip into her eyes. With a yell, he snapped her neck. A sick crack filled the office, and Erik kicked the lifeless body off of him. The woman who killed his parents. Burnt his house. Erased his whole life. She was dead._

_Suddenly, he felt a tiny hand touching his. He looked and saw Reza grabbing his hand, and not letting go. Erik knelt next to him, so they were eye to eye._

_“You’re free now.” said Erik._

_Tears escaped the boy’s eyes. “I have no parents.” he sniffed. “I have no one.”_

_“I’ll find someone…”_

**6.20.2007**

_Reza slept in his arms and it still felt unreal to Erik. He heard singing beneath his feet, and laughter beside him. No screams. Only joy. One of the patients, Edward, traveled with him, and managed to steal a car. Now they were living in a abandoned apartment above an old pub in Rouen._

_Edward was telling jokes to Sara, who tagged along, and she kept giggling. Two others were sleeping on the ground. They were free. Erik tapped his feet to the rhythm of the song downstairs, and sang along with the refrain. Reza nuzzled his nose deeper  in his chest._

_They had no worries. For now._

**6.22.2007**

_It was strange. He had broken into Nadir’s house, and there was no sign of him living here. Though the room wasn’t dirty, Erik saw the dust on the desk. His smell wasn’t here. Erik could remember his smell. He sat on the bed, taking it all in._

_Edward was parked around the corner, waiting for him to return._

_The door opened downstairs and Erik stood up, in panic. Then he recognized the voices of Nadir’s parents. He calmed down. He should just leave and return another time. He opened the window, planning to climb the tree before he heard them._

_“Nadir is coming back tomorrow, I’m so happy! After four years, I will see his beautiful face again.”_

_That made Erik turn, and he listened._

_“Yes, his friends are coming along too? Oh, how I wished he was with the blond girl. She’s so pretty.”_

_Erik’s heart was beating hard. Did Nadir show interest in the girl? Did he move on?_

_“Maybe if we push him, he’ll ask her out on a date!”_

_Erik opened the door, heading downstairs, in a fury. They won’t be here when Nadir returned._

**6.25.2007**

_Erik threw a chair against the wall, and Reza locked himself up in his room. Only Edward raised an brow up in question, his eyes still glued on the old newspaper in his hands, not fazed by Erik’s dramatics. The others looked scared._

_“How dare she! After all the things I’ve done for her, she drops herself on Nadir. She knew how I felt – still, feel! – about him, and she does this to me.” Erik sat next to Edward, almost fuming._

_“Maybe she thought you will never escape again, and then decided to keep your boyfriend –”_

_“If you want to live, you won’t finish that sentence.”_

_“Copy that. Look, just because she embraced him doesn’t mean they’re dating.” Edward sighed. “Friends embrace too.”_

_Erik opened his mouth, but shut it again, frustrated. Reza unlocked his door again, and peeped his head out, watching Erik. To be honest, everything was too much for Erik. Seeing Nadir for the first time, with Christine Daaé next to him. The same girl he shared a cell with. The only person who shared the same powers as him._

_Erik kicked the small table across of him. Edward’s can of beer fell on the floor, spilling its liquid._

_“Oh, come on, man.”_

**7.1.2007**

****

_A warm bed. Soft touches. It was new for Erik, and he loved it. Erik thought he was dreaming, but no, this was real. It has to. Nadir laid on top of him, kissing him slowly. The feelings were new to Erik. He only knew pain the past few years, so he didn’t know the words he was feeling right now, but he loved the kisses._

_They probably kissed for hours, and Erik still wanted more. Nadir gave him more. His tongue moved against Nadir’s, who moaned. They got tired eventually, and Nadir rolled next to Erik, a content smile on his too beautiful face. Erik scooted closer, so Nadir can rest his arm over him. He felt so lucky._

_This is what Erik wanted for years; no more pain, to lay beside Nadir and hold him closely. With the sudden desire, he gave little kisses on Nadir’s forehead. Nadir hummed and he opened his eyes._

_“I’m too tired, Erik…” he murmured, yet he bared his neck when Erik gave kisses on his jaw. Erik sucked on his skin, loving the taste under his tongue. A choked moan rose from Nadir’s throat, which gave Erik the confidence he needed._

_He slipped his long fingers over Nadir’s hard cock. Nadir hissed softly, and Erik captured his lips with his own. Erik stroked him slow, experimenting. Nadir groaned into Erik’s mouth. “Erik… yes. Harder.”_

_Erik squeezed not all too hard, and he watched Nadir for his reaction. Nadir has closed his eyes, his mouth slightly open, clearly enjoying. Erik kissed him again, which took Nadir by surprise, and his hand stroked faster, then stopped at the top, rolling his thumb over the head several times._

_Nadir moaned louder in Erik’s mouth, as he jerked his hips. He placed his hand on Erik’s jaw, deepening the kiss, tongues swirling. Erik felt Nadir shaking, and then come spurted between them. Nadir sighed contently, giving his last kiss._

_“Jaaneman…”_


	6. Promise me

**7.2.2007 [present]**

“I can’t believe I did this. Two months ago I had my exams for my major, and now… now I’m stuck in some movie about the police following us, and we’re screwed. My brother is a detective! What was I thinking?”  Raoul paces in the large living room of De Chagny’s villa, stressed out.

Even Nadir can’t believe he’s in Spain of all places. Raoul told them his parents had two villas in Spain; one in Benidorm, where his parents are currently staying, and one in Roses, which they barely use. Back in France, Raoul called his parents, lying about why he and Christine couldn’t come and went back to Paris.

Even Erik was surprised by Raoul’s change of heart, even suspicious, but he tagged along. Nadir drove to Rouen, curious who the others were. The child, Reza, was certainly a surprise, but what really made him whimper was the sight of Edward. The guy wasn’t tall as Erik, but the size of his muscles was intimidating.

There were three others, but according to Erik, they didn’t want to travel with them. Which Nadir was grateful for; his car couldn’t handle so much. He was glad Ana could fit with the company.

So now they are in Roses, in a villa with a gorgeous view of the little harbor city and the sea.

“Raoul,” Nadir begins, and Raoul stops his spacing to look at him. “I… I want to thank you.”

“You would do the same, right? If the roles were reserved.” Raoul smiles nervously.

“I don’t know –” Raoul opens his mouth in shock “- I don’t have a villa.” Nadir ends, grinning. Raoul laughs, still nervously. “Of course I would do the same.”

Raoul nods, and then he looks at his right. Nadir follows his sight, and sees Reza at the small swimming pool, with Ana at his side. The little boy plays with the water, his fingers trailing the warm water. “You know,” says Raoul. “I still had my doubts when we drove to Rouen, I still don’t like Erik and his attitude, but when I saw the little kid. I knew I was doing something good.”

“Still, Raoul, I can’t thank you enough.”

“Like I said, you would do the same.”  Raoul waves his hand to dismiss Nadir, while heading to the stairs. “I’m going to check on Christine in the bedroom.”

“Okay.” Nadir nods him off, and he walks outside. He smiles when Reza looks up at the sound of his footsteps. Ana waggles her tail. Reza frowns a little, before he smiles in return. “Hello,” Nadir says politely. “Do you like to swim?”

Reza seems hesitant to answer. “I… I can’t swim.”

Nadir wants to smack himself on the head. This kid lived in an asylum. Of course he can’t swim!  “I can teach you,” he blurts out. “To swim.”

Reza’s eyes brightens, and his smile got wider. “Really?” he says, excited.

“Yeah, why not! We can do it right now, swimming is important and all.”

He removes his shirt and pants quickly, before stepping in the water. He lifts his hand for Reza to grab. Reza keep his clothes on as he hesitantly walks in the water. He takes Nadir’s hand and then jumps in his arms when the pool gets deeper. Reza shakes uncontrollably but Nadir assures him nothing is going to happen to him.

Slowly, he lets Reza float on his back and instructs him to kick his feet. Reza does so, and a smile appears as he moves above Nadir’s hands. “You’re doing great, oh, keep your head above water! Yes, like that, don’t forget to breathe!”

Reza laughs as he kicks his feet again, and then a splash of water hits Nadir at the back of the head. Nadir blinks, and he looks over his shoulder to find who did that but there’s no one in sight. Reza giggles.

“Did you do that?” Nadir asks, using a fake stern voice. Reza shakes his head, but he keeps giggling. “I think you did,” Nadir pokes his finger in Reza’s side, as the child keeps laughing. “Yes you did!”

Nadir continues his lesson and he sees that Reza is a fast learner, and in less of a hour he’s already swimming without Nadir’s help. Not perfectly, but he knows how to keep his head above water. “You’re very smart.” he says to Reza, and he sees how Reza glows thanks to the compliment.

“Of course he is.” says a deep voice above them. It scares Nadir and he almost gets whiplash to look at Erik, who’s standing on the balcony, looking down at them with a smile. Reza waves at him, and Erik returns the gesture.

“How long have you been watching?” Nadir yells to him.

“Hmm, a half hour? I couldn’t disturb the class, _teacher_.” Erik says, his voice slow on the last word, taunting.

Nadir blushes furiously. “Well, we’re doing great! Come on, Reza, and –” Nadir chokes on his words as he sees Edward coming on the balcony, standing next to Erik. What is he doing in Erik’s room?

Edward says something, and Erik is nodding. Edward returns inside, with Erik following him. A little green monster growls inside Nadir, and he tries to ignore it, but it can’t hurt to look right?

He picks up Reza and walks out the pool. Reza jumps from his arms then, not bothering to dry his clothes and barges back inside. Nadir takes his dry clothes off the ground, while shaking droplets off his legs. Inside, he sees Edward walking down the stairs with a notebook  in his hand.

“Hey,” Edward says, and flicks the paper on Nadir’s arm. “What would you like for dinner?”

“W-what?” Nadir says, taken aback.

“Food? We need to do groceries. I’m making a list for Christine.” Then he leans towards Nadir, a grin on his face. Nadir takes one step back. “I think Erik is –”

“I need to go. Talk with Erik, I mean. I’ll eat what everyone is having.” Nadir interrupts, as he passes Edward, walking the stairs. Edward frowns in confusing. He says something but Nadir isn’t listening. He heads to Erik’s door, and knocks on it. Erik opens it after a while, and if he’s surprised by his visit, he doesn’t show it.

“Why are you standing half naked in front of my door?” Erik asks. “Not that I’m complaining.”

Erik opens his door wider, so Nadir can walk inside. Nadir does a quick scan of the room, but nothing seems out the ordinary. Allah, he’s being pathetic. “What, can’t I visit my…” _boyfriend. Say it! Oh sure, he can say he loves him, but the B word? No way._

“Your what?”  Erik closes the door. Nadir turns to him, swallowing. Erik wears his white shirt, which again is way too wide for him, and black pants. “And why are you here, weren’t you teaching Reza? He was enjoying himself. I always thought you were good with children. You even made him laugh.”

“I just saw Edward in your room and I liked to know what’s going on, that’s all.”

“Why?” drawls Erik, and even with the mask, Nadir can see he’s overthinking things in his head. “Do you think Edward and Erik are plotting behind your backs? To kill you? Is that it?”

Nadir shakes his head immediately. “No, no, you have it wrong, believe me!”

“Then spit it out!”

“I just f-found it strange that Edward was in your room, that’s all.” Nadir stutters. “He and you alone in this room…” he rubs his hand over his neck, biting his lip nervously.  “But he was just asking about groceries.”

“What did you think he was doing in my room?” Erik asks.

“Nothing! It was something stupid. I’ll go to my room and change my –” but Erik grabs his arm when he tries to pass. “Erik!”

“Tell me what you think!”

There’s that strange pull in his body again, and his lips move before he can stop the next words. “I thought Edward was into you!” Nadir casts his eyes down, not wanting to see Erik’s reaction, but also because he feels embarrassed. Why is he feeling jealous? This is stupid beyond belief.

Erik releases his arm and then lays his hand on Nadir’s cheek, stroking it. “You’re stupid,” Erik whispers. “Edward will never fight me.”

There’s that little green monster again and Nadir curses him. “That’s not what I meant.” he growls. The stroking stops, and Nadir looks up into Erik’s amber eyes. “I thought Edward…” he makes a movement with his hands which he even doesn’t know what it meant, but he hopes Erik does.

Which he does; as his eyes widen in realization. “Oh.” he says. Then his lips twitch in a smile, before he chuckles, putting his hand against his lips. Nadir blushes and closes his arms. He lets Erik laugh for a bit, and when he stops, Nadir opens his mouth.

“I know, I’m stupid. I did not know what I was thinking.”

“You really have changed in the years.” Erik says, and he gestures for Nadir to sit down, but Nadir keeps standing. His underwear is still wet. “Hmm, when I first kissed you, you were angry. Ready to throw me out, and now you’re jealous because Edward stood next to me.”

“People change in seven years, Erik.” Nadir replies. “I was foolish that night. I should’ve never pushed you away. If I hadn’t pushed you, you could’ve had another future.”

“You can’t blame –”

“Yes, I can! If I… I kissed you back, you would’ve stayed, then the fire, no, these people wouldn’t have caught you.” He’s shaking but he keeps talking. He wants Erik to know. “I went to your house, I was the first to see the house on fire… I wanted to say how I truly felt, but I was too late.”

Erik is silent, but he’s listening. Nadir licks his lips.

“I thought you were dead, when the fire died down. I couldn’t eat or sleep the next week, and then the police came, and said they couldn’t find anything. That you died in the fire. I couldn’t accept it, and got violent. I blamed myself, destroyed my surroundings and my relationship with my parents. My parents send me off to see a therapist, just to get rid of me. Then I decided to study in Paris, to be away of everything. It helped,” he gives a sad smile. “I studied my ass off, went to parties and made new friends.  But there’s one thing I couldn’t do and that was having a relationship. Oh, I tried… but they weren’t you.”

He takes Erik’s hand and presses his bony knuckles against his lips. “They never made me feel how I feel like now.”

“How do I make you feel?” Erik rasps, his throat dry.

“A fool,” Nadir smiles. “You make me blush without even trying, make me jealous… even when your kisses are bad, I still love them.”  

“My kisses are –”

“But that means we can practice.” Nadir puts his arm around Erik’s neck, and pushes him down so their lips can meet. Nadir drops his clothes as he slings his other arm around Erik’s neck too, deepening their kiss. Erik opens his mouth, so Nadir can roll his tongue with Erik’s.

Erik places one hand on Nadir’s hip, while the other is in his hair. Nadir breaths hard through his nose, not wanting to break their kiss. Erik tugs a little on his hair, which makes him moan.

Someone knocks on the door, and opens it without waiting. Nadir jumps away, his lips swollen and wet from the kiss. Erik turns annoyed, and his eyes fall on Christine, who blushes at the sight she sees. “I’m terribly sorry, I… I wanted to ask about the things on the grocery list, but I don’t have to now.”

“What’s wrong with the list?” Erik asks.

“Nothing, nothing! I just thought some things were strange, but I understand now.”

“I’m glad. Can you leave?”

“Uh, sure. Still, sorry guys!” Christine turns to leave, and Erik closes the door behind her. Nadir frowns at that. He knows Erik still hasn’t forgiven her, but he doesn’t have to be rude. Erik walks to him, a smile on his face, but it drops as Nadir picks up his clothes again.

“What are you doing?” Erik blocks his way to the door. Nadir looks up to him.

“Back to my room.” Nadir answers. “I stink to chlorine and I’m desperate for a shower.”

“That didn’t seem to bother you like a minute ago.”

“Now it does. Let me –”

“What’s wrong?” Erik is not moving, he even spreads his arms, as if he’s scared Nadir will jump over him. “Did I say something wrong? No, I didn’t… was it Christine? That wretched –”

“Stop right there!” Nadir interrupts. “You’re talking about my best friend, and I don’t stand it if you talk badly about her! Yes, I know she left you behind, but she feels bad about it! She lost her memories! If you can forgive me for that night, you can surely forgive her!” he takes a deep breath. “Can you do that, Erik?”

Erik growls. “Why do you care so much about her!?”

“Because she’s my best friend!”

“I’m your best friend!”

“You’re more than that, Erik! Yes, you’re a dear friend to me, but so much more too. Please, understand, I’d like you to have a talk with Christine. I saw it in my house that you still care about her. That we know each other is purely coincidental.”

Nadir looks in shock as Erik turns and opens the door. “Go get your shower.” he says angrily, but Nadir hears the threat under it. Nadir swallows, holding back his tears. He passes Erik, his face stoic as possible, and then hisses as Erik grabs his arm. “Maybe if you hurry, you can go grocery shopping with her like the _best friends_ you are.”

Nadir jerks his arm free. “I will!” he replies angry. He heads off to his room, not looking back. His room is at the end of the hall. It’s a small room, enough for a bed and a small cupboard, but that’s all what Nadir needs. He changes from underwear, and puts his warm clothes on again. He heads back, his footsteps louder than normal as he passes Erik’s room and walk down the stairs.

“Christine!” he yells, hoping that Erik will hear him. “I’m coming with you!”

“ _Hah!?_ ” Christine appears from the kitchen, bags ready to go. “Why?”

“I want to see Roses a bit, and hey, I’m not sure what I like to eat and I want to see what they have.” Nadir takes some of the bags. Christine looks skeptical.

“Uhhh-okay! First we need to find a grocery store, but it can’t be that far. Edward wrote all the things we need, so we’re good to go!”

“I’m ready whenever you are.” It hurts to fake happiness, while inside he’s dying to go back to Erik and apologize. He grabs his car keys and follows Christine outside.

The grocery store isn’t far away, just down the hill. He walks around with the shopping cart, while Christine goes off her list. Oh Allah, he feels horrible, though he knows he didn’t do anything wrong. It’s Erik who’s acting childish. But isn’t he acting childish too? Not so long ago with Edward?

He shakes his head. He messed up, like as usual. Erik assured him that he had nothing to do with Edward, while Nadir is out with Christine, taunting Erik. Shit, he only wanted them to talk.

“Christine,” he says as Christine grabs some strawberries. “Do you think Erik will forgive you?”

Christine puts the strawberries in the cart, thinking. “I think he will, he needs some time, and I respect it. Why?”

“We had a fight. I thought he was being rude to you, and he wasn’t happy how I defended you.”

“So, now you’re here with me instead of talking it out with him? Nadir,” she rubs her fingers against her temple, a bit irritated. “this doesn’t help at all. He may never forgive me now.”

“I – I didn’t think –”

“That’s right, you didn’t think. Look, I don’t want to be harsh, but Erik has been through a lot, and I see him struggling though he hides it well. This,” she waves between them. “doesn’t help! So I suggest you do something good when we’re return before he has my head on a platter!”

“He would never.”

“I know that, but he can be dramatic.” Christine bites her lip, then snaps her fingers. “Make his favorite food! Food makes everything good.”

Nadir taps on the grocery list. “What did he say? What he would like to eat?”

Christine points at the strawberries, shrugging her shoulders. “That’s all. That’s why I came in his room, to ask if that’s all he wants, but then I saw you and everything fell into place.”

“What fell into place?” Nadir doesn’t understand. Erik doesn’t like sweets. He never did. The only sweets he likes are the sour gums. “OH!”

Christine slaps him on the side of his head. “Idiot! Do you not watch romantic videos? No matter, I will help Erik, ‘cause God help him, he needs it!” and with that, she turns and walks away. Nadir still doesn’t understand.

***

It’s quiet when they return. Reza sits at the pool again, feet in the water, splashing around. Edward sits next to him, enjoying the sun. Raoul is already in the kitchen, waiting for their return. No sign of Erik.

They load the groceries in the kitchen, and Nadir doesn’t wait as he picks his ingredients for the dish he’s going to make. He remembers Erik loving his mom’s Kibbeh, and he still knows her recipe. As he works on the dish, it’s slowly getting darker outside. The rest are already done, and eating their separate dish on the dining table. Erik still didn’t make an appearance.

“I’m done!” Nadir wipes the sweat of his forehead. He wraps foil over the plate, and in excitement he turns with the dish in his arms but Christine stops him. She gets the strawberries from the fridge and gives them to Nadir, who thanks her. Carefully, he walks up the stairs and at Erik’s door. The nerves get to him. He builds up his courage and taps his foot against the door, as his hands are occupied with food. No one answers.

He taps again. Still no answer. Not giving up, he pushes the handle with his elbow so the door opens. He steps inside cautiously, and then stands still as he sees Erik sitting on bed, his back to him. He is surprised when he also sees Ana laying next to the bed. The lights are turned off, so their only light source is the moon outside.

“Hey,” Nadir begins quietly. He puts the dish on the small table across the bed, along with the strawberries. “Do you want to talk?”

Erik says nothing, not even acknowledging Nadir, who sighs. “Okay, I talk,” he wraps the foil of the dish, letting the delicious smell dwell in the room. Ana sniffs loudly.  “I was wrong. I have put my nose where it doesn’t belong, and I have hurt you in the process. Eh, I’m good at that, aren’t I? Makes me think why you even bother with me, or why you even returned to me.” shit, he’s not going to cry. This is not about him. “I… I only hurt you.” he gulps, as Erik finally looks over his shoulder, his amber eyes glowing like a cat’s.

“No,” he says slowly. “no. You’re right. I should talk with Christine… that will make Nadir happy, right? Didn’t Erik say he will do everything for Nadir?”

“You do enough. Talk when you feel like it, I shouldn’t pressure you. Take your time.” he coughs the lump in his throat away. “I’ve made your favorite dish, you remember? Kibbeh?”

Erik turns a bit, looking at the plate and the strawberries on the small table. “I do remember…”

“Good. Then I leave you alone, I hope you like them.”

“Stay, please, stay. Eat with me.”

Nadir can’t help but obey. He picks up the plate again and settles next to Erik. Their shoulders touch, but it seems Erik doesn’t mind, as he takes one piece from the plate and takes a huge bite. Nadir looks expectantly, and he smiles when Erik nods in delight.

“Just like your mother’s.” and he takes another bite.

“Wow, that’s a big compliment I don’t deserve.” Nadir eats one too. “Hmm, I forgot the sauce.”

Erik bumps his shoulder against Nadir’s. “It’s perfect. Stop nitpicking.”

“I’m just saying it would taste better with sauce.” Nadir watches how Erik takes another piece. “And oh, what’s with the strawberries? You don’t like sweets. I might steal them.”

Erik watches him for a bit, before he swallows. “They’re for you. I planned to have a date, I mean, it’s not like we can go in public with my mask, so I thought maybe in this room while no one disturbs us, but then the fight…”

Nadir feels like the biggest moron in the world and he hides his face in his hands, groaning. “I’m so stupid. Why am I like this.” A brush of fingers touch his shoulder, and he cocks up his head, to look into Erik’s eyes.

“We can still have a date.” he says, almost shyly.

Nadir nods eagerly, as he stands up to grab the strawberries. Erik moves more up, so his back is leaning against the headboard. Nadir jumps on the bed, almost causing the plate to fall of the bed but Erik grabs it quickly. “Eager, aren’t we?” he chuckles.

“On dates you ask questions, just like during the ball, so now I can finally ask,” Nadir leans closer to Erik. “When did you out about your powers?”

Erik hums, and he shrugs. “I’ve had them my whole life, but I noticed them when I was nine, I suppose?” he scratches his chin. “I liked to impress you, and you kept believing it was magic tricks.”

“Erik the Magnificent,” Nadir laughs at the memory. “And I was the only one you showed your power to.” he grabs a strawberry, taking a bite. He sucks on the juice. “To be honest, I liked the attention you gave me. All these kids in the village were a bunch of brats.”

“They were racists, I still can’t believe what they said when I first saw you.”

“You threw a rock at them!” Nadir laughs, slapping his hand on Erik’s knee. “They were so afraid of you.”

Erik laughs too, but softly, and Nadir’s stomach is making all kinds of turns. He eats another strawberry to distract himself. Some juice drips on his chin and he wipes it away.

“Did you,” Erik coughs. “Did you ever loved someone else?”

“No,” Nadir says immediately, even spooking Erik. “No, no. I hooked up and saw them once a while, but never love. You’re the only one, Erik.”

Erik is silent, and Nadir wants to know what he’s feeling or thinking about. He is talking the truth, but how can he convince Erik? “Use your power,” he says suddenly. “You will hear the truth. The answer will be the same.”

“You fool, I believe you. Oh God, you overwhelm me.” Erik shifts his legs, so he kneels and leans more forward to Nadir. “The only thing I will ask of you, is to love me.”

“But I already love you.”

“Even when you come to know things? What I did? Or what’s to come?”

Nadir frowns. _What’s to come_? “You’re safe –”

“Not for long. The French police knows about me and my powers, more people will come to know and they will want me. This,” he gestures the whole room. “Is not going to last. I have to keep running. Edward too, but I can keep Reza safe somewhere with a good family if I can find one. So Nadir, do you want to keep running with me, or settle with a normal life?”

Nadir isn’t an idiot. But he hopes with by being in Spain, they will buy time. He knows the police will come, and that Philippe will suspect something, if he doesn’t already. “Erik, I… I will be by your side, no matter what.”

“Even if I kill someone, to protect you…?” Erik puts the plate on the nightstand. He leans to Nadir, almost sitting on his lap. Nadir shivers. “In the most gruesome way?”

“I don’t like you killing,” Nadir replies honest. “I don’t like it.”

Erik slide his right hand over Nadir’s side. “My hands have killed many,” he lays his hand on top of Nadir’s shoulder, squeezing. “And my voice,” Erik is so close, his lips barely touching Nadir’s. “Many more.”

“I can defend myself. You don’t have to kill anyone anymore.” Nadir says, distracted by Erik’s lips. “What you have done in the asylum, it’s in the past. But no more, Erik. Only if we’re in danger and there’s no way out. Promise me by kissing me.”

Erik watches him for a full minute, his eyes intense. Nadir breathes hard, with each passing second he thinks Erik won’t kiss him, until he finally presses his lips against Nadir’s.

“I promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... does Erik keep his promise??


	7. Nightmares

**3.12.1996 [past]**

_“Did… did she hurt you again?”_

_Nadir opened the window, and Erik jumped in his bedroom. It was late in the night, and Nadir was trying his best not to make a lot of sounds. His parents were sleeping and he didn’t want them to wake up. Erik nodded to Nadir’s question._

_“Can I sleep here tonight?” he asked, his voice a whisper._

_“Of course.” Nadir said quickly._

_Erik smiled, and he kicked his shoes off. He kept his clothes on as he climbed into bed. Nadir joined next to him, watching the ceiling. They didn’t talk about it, but Nadir saw the bruises on Erik’s arms, what his mom and dad did to him. He did try to talk about it, but Erik would lash out and say there’s nothing wrong._

_So, at times like this, he would let Erik escape in his room. Nadir didn’t mind._

_Suddenly, Erik shifted next to Nadir and he put his forehead against Nadir’s shoulder. “Am I,” he began. “Am I a bad kid?”_

_Nadir kept staring at the ceiling, not thinking about the question. “No,” he answered immediately. “You’re kind.”_

_“My parents don’t think so.” Erik whispered. “They think I am bad.”_

_“They’re wrong. You’re kind to me.”_

_Erik kept silent, thinking. Sleep fell on Nadir’s eyes, and he almost dozed off. Erik moved again, and Nadir stiffened as he felt Erik’s cold hand on his chest. Erik leaned up, watching Nadir. The young boy always liked Erik’s glowing eyes. “Do you say that because you’re my friend?”_

_“I… No, I say it because…” Nadir frowned. He was too tired. “Like I said, you’ve been kind to me. Always. Why would I think you’re bad? You’re not to me.”_

_“If I do bad to you… would I still be a kind person?”_

_“Erik, I want to sleep.” Nadir murmured._

_“I want to know, Nadir.”_

_“Yes, Erik. You’ll still be kind.”_

**5.16.1998**

 

_“Why are you here?”_

_That’s the first question Erik asked when Nadir entered his room. His school had organized a party, and Nadir wanted to go, but when he heard that Erik was ill, he decided to visit him. He lay in his bed, still wearing his mask, and frankly, Nadir was getting sick of it. They weren’t children anymore._

_“And what’s up with you, invalid?” Nadir asked, settling on the bed, and ignoring Erik’s question._

_“What are you doing here?” Erik asked again, more firm. “Shouldn’t you be at the party? With Delilah?” he spoke the name like it’s something disgusting. Nadir rolled his eyes. Always the drama queen._

_“I was thinking about going, but I rather wanted to be here.”_

_“Won’t Delilah get mad?”_

_“Screw her. You’re more important.”_

_Erik looked at Nadir like he gave him the goddamn moon. Nadir blushed, and he got a tight, warm feeling in his chest. He coughed, and stood up again. He put the little television on. “I mean,” he continued. “I don’t even like her. I can’t help it she likes me. We’re… too different. I can’t be myself around her.”_

_“You can be yourself around me.”_

_Nadir spun around, and he watched Erik, who stared at his hands, biting his lip, as if he regretted saying that. Nadir smiled. “Yes, I can.” he said. Erik looked up, relief in his eyes._

_There was that warm feeling again, and Nadir didn’t know what to think about it. It was new to him._

**7.4.2007 [present]**

Nadir groans as something hard hit his side. He blinks a few times, sleep still heavy in his eyes. It’s still dark in the room, and Nadir is confused for a while. Then he hears moaning next to him, and feels another shove against his side. Nadir turns, all concerned, and sees Erik trashing in his sleep, obviously having a nightmare.

Sweat clings to Erik’s skin, and his eyelids tremble. Nadir gives a little shove, trying to wake Erik up. “Erik, calm down, you’re having – _agh!_ ” In a blink, Nadir gets pressed into the bed, two hands on his throat. Two amber eyes stare at him from above, filled with anger. Nadir gasps for air, and his hands reach out, slamming against Erik’s shoulder.

“E-Erik, it’s me. Snap out of it.” he rasps. He squeezes in Erik’s shoulders hard, but it does not have effect as he hoped, when the two hands on his throat grew more firm. “Erik…”

He feels more light-headed and dizzy, but he keeps repeating Erik’s name, hoping he will wake up. “Erik, you’re out your cage…” he closes his eyes, his arms feeling weak.

Hands leave his throat, and Nadir inhales deeply. One hand caresses his cheek, and something wet touches his chin. Nadir opens his eyes slowly and sees Erik awake and crying. “I’m sorry.” Erik whines. “I thought I was back.”

Nadir is still recovering, his head pounding. “It’s –”

“Don’t say it’s okay.” Erik presses his forehead against Nadir’s chest. “It’s not. I could’ve killed you.”

“But you didn’t.” Nadir says, his throat sore.

Erik looks up, angry. “This is not funny.” He leans forward, kissing Nadir’s neck. “I’m sorry, please forgive me.” He clings to Nadir, as if Nadir will escape from his claws. Nadir wishes Erik would stop thinking that. He will never leave Erik. “Forgive me, forgive me…”

Nadir moves so Erik lands on his side, his eyes wide and shiny thanks to the tears. Nadir presses his forehead against Erik’s, looking into his eyes. “Erik, of course I forgive you. I don’t except you to heal so quick, maybe you never will, but I will be at your side, at all times. Not because you force me to, but because I want to.”

Erik narrows his eyes slightly. “I can’t let you.”

“I want to.”

Erik sighs. “You fool.” He lifts his hand, caressing Nadir’s cheek again. “I… I have trouble with sleep, I can’t sleep, and when I do, this happens. I have those nightmares, and I don’t know how to erase them. They haunt me.” He licks his lips. “The reason I still haven’t cracked, is you… And I feel threatened, that people will take you away from you, the one thing I can’t live without.”

“I assure you, Erik, I won’t leave you. No one will take me.” Nadir cocks his head up, so he can kiss Erik’s forehead. “I will always search for you.”

*******

Christine for once wishes she was brave, and maybe she is, as she enters the dark living room, where she knows Erik is. She had seen the bruises on Nadir’s neck today, though he tries to hide it with the collar of his shirt, saying there’s nothing wrong. Christine knows better.

She also knows what she’s doing is dangerous, but she needs to try. Raoul doesn’t know she’s out, and she doesn’t want him to worry about her. She wants to doubt what happened, since Nadir likes to act everything is fine and dandy. Christine searches for the light, but stops as she gets the feeling of being watched. She gulps.

Her anxiety kicks in, her body trembling and she searches for glowing eyes, but sees none. “Erik?” she whispers, shivering. She flinches when warm breath breezes along her cheek and she spun around. There’s no one.  “S-Stop playing around, Erik!”

“But I’m not playing.” says a haunting voice right next to her.

Her heart is pounding hard, afraid of what’s to come. “Yes, you are. I want to talk.”

“What if I don’t want to talk?” the voice comes from her left now.

“Then I will talk and you will listen.” Christine suggests, and she hears a groan of irritation. She takes a deep breath, bracing herself. “I saw the bruises on Nadir’s neck. You hurt him.”

There’s silence, and Christine doesn’t hear movement either. “I – I want to know what happened, what caused it.” Her hand reaches automatically for the light switch. She turns it on and her eyebrows raise when she notices she’s alone. “Erik?”

No answer. She walks forwards, inspecting every little thing, but there’s no trace that someone was here. Is she going mad? She is sure she was just talking to Erik. No one can mimic that voice.

An icy chuckle sounds behind her, and again she turns. She sees a silhouette moving to the dark kitchen, and she follows it. She freezes when she sees a full daunting body in her view, yellow eyes staring at her. Her bravery sinks. This is a bad idea. If Erik can hurt Nadir, he surely can hurt her.

“Why do you concern yourself over Nadir? What does he mean to you?” Erik snarls.

“He’s my friend. Of course I care about his well being.” she amazes herself how her voice doesn’t tremble in Erik’s intimidating presence.

A laugh escape Erik’s lips. “You _care_ about his well being.” he moves, and Christine takes one step backwards, in the light. Erik stops. “I like to know why you care more about him than me. I who helped you escape. Who treated you when you were hurt.”

“You know why, I lost my memories.” Christine answers. “I do remember now, and I do care about you, Erik, just as much as Nadir.” she swallows, trying to compose herself. “That’s why I want to know what happened.”

“Leave, Christine. It’s not your concern, except for me and Nadir.”

“Nadir is my concern.” Christine says stubbornly. She takes a step back in the kitchen, and knows immediately she made a mistake. “Nadir is my friend too.”

“You try my patience, Christine!” Erik hisses.

“And you mine, what did you do to Nadir? Did you hurt him on purpose?”

She yelps when Erik towers above her and his bony hands pinch her shoulders. He slams her against the wall, the back of her head hitting the brick hard. “Ah, yes, Christine, because I’m nothing but a monster, right? I only hurt people.”

Christine shivers, and she doesn’t have the courage to look up into his eyes. “No, Erik.” she whimpers. “I only want to know what happened.”

“Do you like to hear that I have nightmares of that place?” Erik whispers. “How they tortured me? You do know what they did. I had one of those nightmares, and my beautiful Nadir woke me, probably thinking he was helping. I thought he was one of them, and I attacked him.”

Christine’s eyes widen, and now she looks up in Erik’s saddened eyes.

“That fool forgave me.” Erik continues. “I can’t even forgive myself. I’m betting he’s still awake in his bed, waiting for me, but I can’t hurt him again. I don’t deserve his love.”

Christine doesn’t know what to say; to be honest, she’s shocked he told her. “That’s for Nadir to decide.” she says eventually, hoping that’s the right thing to say. “You can’t decide for him.”

Erik studies her for a moment. “You think so?”

“Yes.” Christine answers with no doubt. “You work on a relationship together. You don’t decide for your partner what’s good for them. They will tell you, and you try your damn best to do good.”

Erik withdraws his hands and he takes a step back. Christine rolls her shoulders, glad to be free.

“Thank you.” Erik says, suddenly.

Christine smiles, fright leaving her body. “You’re welcome.”

Erik smiles in return.

*******

Nadir is laying on the stretcher, near the pool. Reza is asleep on his lap. Nadir sometimes checks the balcony, but Erik never makes an appearance. Since that night Erik seems afraid to touch or be near Nadir. He knows why, and he hates it. He wishes it never happened. He misses Erik’s soft touches.

He stirs when he hears voices inside. It’s heated, and Nadir keeps quiet, trying to hear what they are arguing about. It’s Christine and Raoul, and worry fills Nadir.

“I saw it, Chris, and I know you saw it too. How can you accept this, when you – _no, we_ – know what he’s capable of!” hisses Raoul, anger clearly in his voice. “Don’t you care about Nadir?”

“How can you say that!” Christine snaps. “Of course I do! I… I had a talk with Erik. He told me what happened.”

Nadir almost wants to jump up, ask Christine when they had their talk. Erik talked with Christine. Nadir smiles, but it disappears quickly as what Raoul says next.

“Oh, and what did he tell you? He couldn’t help himself? _Oops, my hands were attracted to his throat_?”

“Raoul, stop it! Who put these thoughts into you? He had a nightmare about that place and he… he thought he was still there. I remember how it feels, it’s suffocating, Raoul! Being caged like an animal, getting beat if you don’t do what they want. Erik is still recovering.”

“Why don’t I see Edward attacking us? Why is it only Erik? I don’t trust him, Chris! He needs to…” silence.

“He needs to what, Raoul?” Christine asks.

Nadir’s heart is pounding, and he knows it’s wrong to listen to an private conversation, but then again, they are talking about him and Erik.

“He needs to put in check,” Raoul answers. “He needs therapy. Maybe… we can find help for him.”

“You know that’s impossible.” Christine sounds tired. “He can’t find help.”

“Can’t, or won’t?”

“You know bloody well he can’t! He can’t even walk on the streets.”

A hand – well, Nadir assumes it’s a hand – slams on the counter. “He will find help! Dammit Christine, one talk and you guys are best buds again? I won’t stand for it if he hurts Nadir again.”

“I can’t talk with you when you’re like this! I can’t change your mind!”

There’s footsteps, and it’s quiet again. Nadir bites his lip, hoping no one will come to the pool and see him. He doesn’t know how to feel about the conversation; he understands Raoul, and he also thinks Erik deserves help, but he can’t. Not with their situation.

*******

Raoul is someone who likes to make jokes when situations got too dark. His bright smiles are infectious and it helped Nadir many times when everything got too much back in Paris. But his smiles are gone, a permanent frown replacing it. His frown increases whenever Erik is in the same room as his, or when he sees Christine talking with Erik.

Nadir catches him alone one day in the living room, looking outside, as if he’s watching someone. He steps to him, coughing his presence. Raoul looks over his shoulder, a forced tiny smile on his face. “Hello.” He says, while turning his body so Nadir has to look at his face.

“Hi, what’s up? You seem lonely.” Nadir replies back.

“Yeah, I still don’t accepted that there’s a murderer walking around us and everyone seems fine about it.” Raoul says, an edge on it, staring into Nadir’s eyes. Nadir blinks, not expecting Raoul to be straightforward.

“He’s not…” Nadir swallows back his words. Raoul won’t understand. “You brought him here. You offered this villa. No one forced you to do this. I was completely fine leaving with him without your help.”

“Yeah, sometimes it scares me.” Raoul says, looking angry. “How quickly you turned your back to us when he walked back into your life. We don’t exist anymore.”

“That’s bullshit! “ Nadir shouts. “My friend whom I thought was dead for many years is back in my life, so I’m sorry I’m more concerned about him right now. This doesn’t mean I don’t care about you or Christine no more.”

“You could’ve fooled me…”

“Raoul, please! Like, I’m trying my best here.”

“Me too,” Raoul walks to him, and Nadir is surprised when he reaches his hand to Nadir’s collar, exposing the purple bruises on his neck. “I will see he gets help.”

Not waiting for an reply, Raoul passes Nadir, bumping his shoulder against Nadir’s in purpose. Nadir doesn’t follow him, instead he walks to the window, curious at what Raoul was looking at. He sees no one.

*******

Raoul is acting strange. Everything is going fine, and Nadir loves how in the last few days Erik talks more with Christine, but Raoul goes on his daily walk whenever Erik leaves his room. Raoul never spares Erik a second glance. It hurts Nadir.

Christine on the other hand is delighted that Erik warms up to her. He even let Christine cut his hair. Nadir did mourn for the long locks, but the shorter haircut give Erik a younger look, despite the mask. Edward is always silent, the more observant type, but kind. Nadir grows to like him, though Edward’s power is still a secret. Like with Erik, Reza opens up more and he hangs with Nadir most of the time. Nadir doesn’t mind.

Only Raoul is the only one who shelters off, not wanting to be part of the group. He even doesn’t talk to Nadir anymore since that day, or when Nadir glances at him, Raoul immediately  looks the other way, as if he’s disturbed by something. The only who gets him to talk, is Christine.

 Nadir doesn’t like it, and he hates himself for it, but he’s more cautious with Raoul.

But that’s not the reason he thinks Raoul is acting strange today; it’s now he suddenly wants to take a walk with Christine and Nadir. Christine raises one eyebrow in surprise. She clearly sees the change too.

“Sure,” she replies slowly. “A walk can be nice.”

Nadir glances up the stairs, to the door of Erik’s bedroom. There’s no reaction, and Nadir doesn’t know Erik is listening. “Okay.” he says. “Why not. It’s been a while we talked.”

“Can I come too?” Reza rises from the couch, leaving Edward alone. “I want to see the city!”

“Of course!” Raoul says enthusiastically, and Nadir cringes at the fakeness. Something is off, and he doesn’t like it, but he somehow feels more relaxed with Reza accompanying them.

“I’m going to tell Erik we’re gone for a –”

“No! I mean, the walk won’t take long.” Raoul laughs. “He’ll survive.”

“You guys go!” Edward yells from the living room.”We’ll be fine. Have fun!”

With unease, Nadir puts his shoes on. Maybe he’s overreacting, and Raoul only feels sorry for how he behaved and he wants them to be alone. That’s right.

It’s warm outside, and Nadir sees the sun setting in the distance. Reza runs off the hill, screaming in delight. Christine hooks her arm with Raoul’s, a smile on her face. Raoul gives her a smile in return. Nadir mostly feels awkward, and he notices how calm their surroundings are.. Too calm. No, he won’t overreact.

“I wanted to talk, guys.” Raoul says suddenly when they reach the bottom of the hill, the villa not so far in the distance. Nadir sighs in relief. “I… I’ve been seeing my brother the couple last days.”

Nadir chokes in his breath and he coughs. Christine pulls her arm back and stares at Raoul with wide eyes. “You w-what?” she stammers.

“Please listen, okay? H-He never wanted to do harm, he wants them –” he points to Reza, who more looks confused at why they’re not walking anymore.  “– to get help.”

“How did he find us? Raoul, darling, did you call him?” Christine asks, looking betrayed.

Raoul shakes his head. “No, he found me. He came to his own conclusions, please believe me, I didn’t want him to find us, but he talked to me about their plans, and I agree. Look, they won’t harm them. They will get help.”

“Do you believe them!?” Nadir suddenly roars, scaring Raoul. He’s torn between wanting to run back and warn Erik, and cursing Raoul’s head off. “Do you really think the police, who knows about their powers, will just let them go have therapy and everything will be fine? They go on with their happy life? Are you that naïve?”

“I’m naïve? You think everything is fine and dandy, while you sleep with a murderer! That’s what he is!” Raoul yells back. “Heck, I won’t be surprised he’ll kill someone and you help him bury the body.”

“ _Raoul!_ ” Christine hisses.

“Erik didn’t kill anyone since he’s been free! He promised me not to kill anymore!”

“You’re lying! Did you forget the cop?”

“That… the cop wanted to shoot me.”

“Don’t give him excuses! God, you’re so blinded by love, you don’t see he’s a ticking time bomb.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Nadir grabs Raoul by his collar, pulling him close. Raoul grinds his teeth in anger. “You have no idea what you’re talking about! I don’t intend Erik to be caught a second time!”

“Do you hear yourself!? You can’t live without him, is this how it is? You choose him!?”

“I guess so!”

Reza looks close to tears, and Christine pushes herself between the boys, parting them. “You guys are behaving like –” she stops talking when they hear gunshots in the distance, near the villa. Even Raoul looks in shock. Sweat breaks Nadir, and with no other thought than to save Erik, he runs back up the hill.

A shot rings out and a sharp pain goes through his leg, and with a yell, Nadir crashes hard on the pavement of the road. “Nadir!” Raoul and Christine yell in unison, running to him, Reza following them. Tears escape Nadir’s eyes, but he looks at the wound, blood flowing out a hole in his leg.

“Nadir!” Raoul kneels next to him, concerned. “Are you okay?”

Nadir wants to yell at the stupid question; _yes, he feels terrific_!

“Whoever is there!” Christine barks out, holding Reza’s hand. “Show yourself to us!”

Raoul opens his button polo shirt, shrugs it off and places it on the wound. Nadir groans, and he closes his eyes in pain. He hears footsteps and a woman’s voice, but he can’t make out what she’s saying. He opens his eyes slowly, and sees that Raoul leans over him, almost protective, but he also blocks his view of who shot him.

“Sorelli, this was not part of the deal!” Raoul snaps. “What are you thinking, shooting Nadir?”

“He will mess up our arrest, I did what I had to do.”

“You messed –”

There’s a loud explosion and the ground trembled. Nadir cocks his head up and sees that the villa is on fire. No, not again. He leans himself up, shoving Raoul away, trying to crawl. He needs to save Erik, and he will. He won’t fail like seven years ago.

He sees more people coming out their houses, to see what’s going on, and some are pointing at them.

“Don’t move!” the woman – Sorelli? – shouts. Nadir turns and sees her pointing her gun at him. “Or I swear to God, I will shoot you again.”

“Throw away your gun, right now!” Christine shouts. “Don’t ever use it!”

The gun drops on the ground, and Sorelli takes a step back, fear in her eyes. She quickly grabs the walkie-talkie on her belt. “We have a problem! There’s more than one! It’s Christine Daaé! I need help!”

“ _We have a problem here as that bastard – aargh!_ ” the voice died off.

Nadir takes advantage of the distraction to jump up – he hisses at the pain in his leg – and limps to the villa. Sorelli gives a shout, moving towards him but Raoul blocks her way. The gunshots are getting louder, and the smoke of the explosion is getting thicker. He walks past the gates, watching out for flying bullets because one bullet in his leg is enough.

He manages to get into the villa without being seen, and he yells for Erik, then coughs as he inhales the smoke. The fire is coming from the kitchen, getting bigger by the second. Then he notices the dead cops in the living room. No sight of Edward. Nadir puts his hand over his nose and mouth, narrowing his eyes as he tries to search for Erik, but stops as he hears barking from outside. _Ana!_

Nadir runs to the garden, adrenaline pumping in his blood,  and then a body collides with him. He gives a yelp, and his instinct tells him to kick and bite, to defend. So he thrashes, his feet kicking the person in the face, and then he hears a growl behind him. Ana jumps over Nadir, biting the cop in their arm. She yanks her head wildly, tearing the flesh. Nadir crawls away, hearing the cop screaming in pain. The cop pulls its gun, aiming at the dog.

“ _No!_ ”

Everything happens fast; Edward appears from the smoke, his body big and terrifying behind the cop. He holds a knife – no, Nadir realizes, the knife is melted in Edward’s hand – and he slashes it down the cop’s throat before it got the chance to shoot Ana. The cop gargles and gasps before Edward slices his artery.

Nadir flinches as some of the blood hit his face, and he wipes it away from his eyes and mouth. The blood spurts on the ground and the walls of the villa. This is the second time Nadir sees someone dying right before his eyes.

Edward reaches his bloody hand – not the one with the knife – to Nadir, and he takes it. Edward pulls him upright. Half of his face is coated under blood, but he’s smiling, like it’s normal. “Darling,” he says, rolling the ‘r’. “You gave me great the scare.”

“I?” Nadir sputters. “Not the cops?”

“I can deal with cops.” Edward says nonchalantly. “But not if you die. Erik will be the most devastated.”

“Where is he? Where’s Erik?”

“Erik can save himself. You have seen the bodies not?”

Nadir nods, but that doesn’t answer his question. “I want to see –”

There’s a crash above Nadir, and he jumps in time as a body hits the ground. Ana barks again. Nadir stares down at the body and he sees with horror it’s Sorelli. Edward narrows his eyes, and then he grabs Nadir’s arm, pulling him back into the villa. Ana follows them.

Edward heads to the front door . “You need to escape. Escape with your friends while you still can, you’re still innocent. Erik and I will find you.” He says.

Nadir pulls his arm back. They’re standing at the gates, and Nadir can see his friends and Reza running in their direction. “No,” Nadir hisses. “I stopped being innocent days ago. I won’t leave Erik alone.”

“You won’t be leaving Erik, you idiot! But go, before you get hurt!”

“ _Nadir!_ ” screams Raoul. “ _Philippe,_ _no!_ ”

Nadir spun around and sees Philippe walking to them, his gun raised, but it’s not aimed at him, but at Raoul. Tears fall on Philippe’s cheeks. Nadir frowns, not understanding why Philippe is planning to shoot Raoul; his own little brother.

“Which of you talked about Erik?” Philippe says, his voice monotone, like he’s possessed. Nadir’s eyes widen; Erik is controlling Philippe with his voice.

“Nobody.” Nadir answers. Because it is true. Philippe found it on his own.

Philippe looks at him, still tears in his eyes. “Are you lying to me, dear?”

“No. I’m telling the truth.”

There’s a silence, and Nadir knows Erik is thinking. He sees Philippe lowering his gun, and Nadir wants to give a sigh of relief, but he notices how Philippe is shaking in fear still. Raoul stands next to Nadir, fear painting his face. “Brother – _no!_ ”

Philippe puts the gun in his mouth, and before Raoul can reach him, he shoots. Nadir closes his eyes immediately, turning his head a bit. He hears Raoul and Christine screaming, and quick footsteps. Unexpectedly, something hard hits his head and the sounds of horror become distant as he falls.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry?


	8. Decisions

**7.20.2007 [present]**

Nadir wakes up in a bed. His mouth is dry and his body feels weak. He blinks a few times, taking in his surroundings. The walls are white, a window on his right with white curtains, and a white ceiling. It’s dark outside. He notices the machine next to his bed, taking his heartbeat and whatnot. He’s in a hospital, of all places.

Then his conscience catches up with him and his body jolts forward. He hisses as he feels the needle in his right arm. He needs to save Erik; there are cops at the villa and he – he stops. Flashes of a dead Sorelli and Philippe go through his mind, and the thoughts to save Erik flee him. He feels sick.

He leans over his side and pukes on the floor, just when the door opens. Two nurses walk into his room, clearly concerned. They talk in Spanish, and Nadir doesn’t understand any word. He doesn’t want to talk; he needs to know where Erik is and these two nurses can’t help him.

He sits upright again, a bit of drool still clinging on his lip. His eyes widen when he sees two cops at the door. _No_.

“Hello,” one of them says in English with a thick accent. “I’m Officer Enzo Aldano. We need to ask you some questions.”

The chubby nurse snaps something to the talking officer, putting her hands on her hips. The other nurse is cleaning the floor. Enzo responds back in Spanish, irritated.

“Where is…” No, don’t talk about Erik. He doesn’t know what happened or what’s been told. “Where is Raoul? Christine?” he asks in English. His English is a bit rusty, but he knows how to hold a conversation.

Enzo looks at him, while the chubby nurse is shaking her head. “Raoul de Chagny is in good health.” The officer answers. Nadir waits for him to continue, to talk about Christine, but he keeps quiet.

“And Christine?” Nadir trembles, fearing the worst. “What happened to Christine Daaé?”

Enzo  sighs. “We don’t know,” he replies. “But we have questions for you, Mr. Khan. We have contacted your parents and they’re here in the hospital. They don’t know yet you’re awake. We need to know how the culprit kidnapped you and your friends. We have Raoul’s story, but we like to know your side of the story.”

_Kidnapped?_

“I feel sick.” Nadir murmurs. He needs to talk with Raoul first, wherever he is. He clearly didn’t tell the true story. “I like to sleep.”

“Mr. Khan, this is important.” Enzo says, his voice tired. “I... can you at least tell us how he looks like.”

“I don’t know,” Nadir lies. “He wore a mask all the time.”

Enzo murmurs something in Spanish, looking at his colleague. The chubby nurse decides to talk again, almost pushing the cops out the room. Nadir hears hurried footsteps in the hall, and for a second he expects to see his parents, but Raoul enters his room. Nadir feels happy to see him unharmed, but that feeling disappears quickly like snow for the sun when he sees how angry Raoul looks.

“He took her.” Raoul growls, back in their own language. “That bastard took her.”

Nadir frowns. “Christine –”

“I should never have let him in our lives!” Raoul roars suddenly. “He killed my brother! He took Christine when I wasn’t looking, ‘cause I was looking out for you. Edward hit you from behind… everything went so fast. That bastard, I should – no, you let him into our lives.”

“Raoul, I – I wanted my friend –”

“I have no brother anymore! My girlfriend is gone! I thought you were gone too –“ Raoul walks forwards, slamming his hand on the sheets, almost hitting Nadir’s left foot. “- and I started blaming you. You let him into our lives, thinking everything would be okay, and let me tell you, that kind of people will never be okay! But I can’t blame you, I had time to think about it, and you didn’t know any better. You thought you were doing the right thing. But you see now, right? How bad he is?”

Nadir looks at the cops and nurses, but they have no clue what they were talking about. He looks back at Raoul, thinking carefully. Raoul had time to think about it? How long did he sleep? It’s getting too much for him.

“There’s no sign of Erik? They didn’t catch him?” he asks instead.

Enzo raises an eyebrow at Erik’s name, and Raoul frowns. “No, or else Christine would not be gone, Nadir!”

“The cop said Erik kidnapped us. That’s not true.”

Raoul scoffs, shrugging his shoulders. “As if I would care about how he is portrayed. I lied because I don’t want to be thrown in jail, because we helped him escape. So, he kidnapped us. We were forced to do his bidding. It’s what my brother told me to do, if everything went south…”

Nadir does understand, but that doesn’t mean he likes it. He curses himself; he still defends Erik, after all those things. Erik promised him… he loved him.

His body begins to shake, and he feels dizzy in his head. He hears Raoul’s voice, and then the nurses. He’s sure he throws up again, before he closes his eyes.

Everything is his fault.

*******

Nadir feels nothing, as he passes mountains and lakes. He’s in his parents car, in the backseat. Ana lays next to him, her head on his lap. He thinks back at his conversation with the cops, the lies he said so he can live freely. Raoul helped him. Christine is still missing. Erik, Edward and Reza are gone with his car.

His parents were happy to see him alive. His mother cried. Nadir didn’t speak a word to them, feeling overwhelmed. He remembers his own tears.

The law enforcement let them go when they collected enough information. With the bullet removed, and his leg healing, Nadir didn’t see Raoul anymore, nor did he call him. Raoul is probably with his remaining family, mourning their loss. A death he caused, for bringing Erik in their life.

The rest is a blur of faces and camera flashes. People who want to know what happened at Roses. Nadir doesn’t answer their questions, his lips tightly closed. He hopes the media doesn’t follow him back to France.

Before he knows, they’re back in Boscherville. Familiar sights meet his eyes as he enters his home; the messy living room because they were hurrying not to be caught by Philippe. The bag of potato chips on the dining table. Yet, so much is changed.

Nadir knows his friendship with Raoul will disappear as time passes. Christine might never return. He destroyed their lives. His mind was only set to save Erik, not noticing the dangers for others.

His mother disturbs his thoughts, asking if he likes to have tea. Nadir shakes his head, saying he wants to go to bed. He grabs his bag of things and walks up the stairs. He sighs as he opens the door of his bedroom and – jumps a foot in the air as he sees Reza on his bed.

“Nadir?” his mom yells downstairs. “Is something wrong?”

“N-No! It’s nothing.” Nadir answers, and closes the door. He eyes Reza, who jumps of the bed, raising his arms in surrender. “What are you doing here?”

“They dropped me here.” Reza says, his voice scared. “Erik thought you will raise me good.”

“ _Erik?_ ” Nadir hisses. “Tell me!” he grabs Reza by the arm, squeezing it. Reza groans. “Where is he? _Tell me!_ ”

“I don’t know,” Reza cries. “He never told me.”

“Where is Christine? Does he have her?”

Reza nods, tears dropping of his cheeks. “But I can’t tell anything else about her. He commanded me not to.” he sniffs, swiping his tears with his sleeve. “Don’t hurt me.”

Nadir releases him, shocked of his own actions. “I’m sorry,” he whispers.”I don’t know what came to me.”

“It’s okay.” Reza whispers back. “Erik… Erik said he’s sorry. That he broke his promise.” Nadir remains quiet, listening to the little boy. “He told me to tell you it’s for the best that he leaves you. He can’t put you in danger anymore.”

Nadir clenches his hands into fists, wanting to lash out, but knows he is in a position where he can’t do anything useful. He looks the boy up and down, frowning. “When did you get here?” he asks.

“Oh,” Reza looks surprised by the question. “Just now. We followed you.”

Nadir’s eyes widen. “ _Followed…_ ” He spins around, leaving his room. His parents look up when he runs through the living room, barging through the front door. They yell ‘ _What’s going on?_ ’ behind him, but Nadir doesn’t answer. He doesn’t know the answer to that question. He needs to run.

His leg is throbbing as he goes up the hill, hurting him, but Nadir doesn’t slow down. The old gate comes in his view, and his breath stops when he spots his own car in front of it. There’s no one in it. Nadir passes the gate, only to be welcomed by the thick forest again. He hears a faint thunder in the distance, and feels soft droplets falling on him.

What did he expect? Reza told him that Erik left him. He won’t be waiting here.

A twig breaks on his left and Nadir is just in time to see a large shadow move between the trees. “Erik!” he shouts. He makes a sprint, ignoring the pain in his leg, and runs between the thick bushes, following the shadow. He almost trips a few times, his feet stuck on roots of trees sticking out the ground. “Give Christine back!” he yells, his lungs burning. “Give her back!”

The shadow disappears suddenly, and Nadir is too late to see why; he falls when he feels no ground beneath his feet, rolling down the hill. Branches and roots hit his body and he finally comes to a stop against a rock. Thunder claps above him and rain pours down, soaking Nadir to the bone.

Nadir groans, as he tries to stand up, but his leg gives up, shaking uncontrollably. He’s sure his wound is bleeding again. “Erik…” he croaks. He coughs. “Erik!”

He’s sick and tired of being weak, not able to help his friends. He can’t help Christine. He can’t help Erik. He wants to help them. Why doesn’t he…

Soft footsteps on mud distract him, and he tilts his head up, seeing Erik looking down at him. Somehow Nadir is having déjà vu; him being filthy, in the mud with Erik by his side. The day they met.

“Erik…” he says.

Erik says nothing, but he kneels down and takes Nadir in his arms. He lifts him up, like he weighs nothing and starts to walk. Nadir wants to ask so many questions, like where is Christine? Why did he break his promise? But all what comes out his mouth is, “Did you ever love me?”

Erik doesn’t answer, looking and walking straightforward. Nadir is too weak to wrestle out of Erik’s arms, to start demanding. “Erik… did I do wrong?” Tears start to blend with the rain drops on his face. “I said I will be by your side… no matter what.”

 _Don’t leave me. Don’t leave me,_ Nadir thinks. He shouldn’t be feeling like this. He should be angry. He should get mad, commanding where Christine is. But he wants Erik to be with him. Nadir is insane.

The car comes back in view, and Erik puts him on the hood of it. Rain is still pouring down hard, thunder rumbling softly. Finally, Nadir looks into Erik’s eyes. He can’t read what Erik is feeling. A whine escapes Nadir, and he leans his head against Erik’s chest. “You’re leaving me again, right?” he sobs, not even trying to hold his tears. “I just got you back.”

Erik takes a step back, and Nadir starts to hyperventilate. He tries to grab Erik, reach his hand but Erik gets further away from him. Why? “No, no… Erik! _Don’t leave me_!”

He does not return. He turns his back to Nadir.

“Erik! I love you!” his voice echoes.

_Come back. Come back._

“I love you…”

He is gone.

*******

He is burning hot and noises surround him. A cold hand is on his forehead.

“Erik…” Nadir murmurs.

“Erik? Erik is not here, dear, you’re okay. He will never catch you again. I called the police and you will get security. You’re going to be okay.” A soothing voice says. His mom.

“No,” Nadir drawls. “I need Erik.”

“Erik is gone, dear. You will never see him again. He will never touch you again.”

No.  Nadir wants to see Erik. He just got back in his life. He can’t be gone.

 

*******

Nadir is sick. His leg is swollen. He wants everyone to shut up; he doesn’t want to answer his parent’s question of who Reza is. The little boy stays on Nadir’s side, taking care of him when his mom can’t and that truly makes Nadir pathetic. He is the one who should take care of Reza, like Erik wanted him to do.

A week passes and Nadir is feeling better, though the weather is still dreary as ever. His parents are more open about Reza, and Nadir finally answers his parent’s question, well he lies to them. Erik is rubbing off of him. He makes a story out of thin air; how Reza was kidnapped too, that Erik killed his parents and has no one but him.

Nadir decides to raise Reza, not only because Erik wants him to, but also he likes the kid. He can’t give the kid to an orphanage. His parents aren’t happy with his decision. Nadir doesn’t care.

Raoul never did call him, as is expected, and when Nadir calls him one day, it went straight to voicemail.

Summer is quickly fading away, but Nadir’s memories are still stuck in the warmer season. He’s not ready to move on, but he needs to, for Reza’s sake. He will do good for Reza. He won’t mess this up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of part 1 of the story. I don't know when part 2 will start, 'cause I will get a surgery somewhere in november. I'll try to write chapter 9 before the surgery.


	9. The Phone

**12 years later**

**11.12.2019 [present]**

 

“You can’t talk about being a saint, Amal!”

“What – why the hell not, Reza?”

“You have tattoos, you’re basically a sinner.”

“Shut the fuck up!”

Nadir walks into the living room, after hanging his coat on the rack. Reza and his girlfriend are not aware of his presence, too deep in their game. His phone goes off in his vest pocket, and Reza looks over his shoulder in surprise. Nadir waves to him, heading to the kitchen as he picks up his phone without looking who is calling.

“Nadir speaking.” He answers, as he opens the fridge. Oh thank God, Reza left over some pizza.

He hears breathing in his ear, but no one is speaking. Nadir closes his eyes in annoyance. This is the second time this day. He started getting these calls two months ago, and Nadir changed his number multiple times, but that creep always knew to find out about it. Even with help of his co-workers they couldn’t trace the phone number.

“Listen,” Nadir growls, but softly, so that Reza and Amal won’t hear him. “I don’t know if this turns you on, but leave me alone! Stop calling me!” he feels like a parrot for repeating himself, and he knows damn well the caller won’t stop.

The caller says nothing, like always, just more breathing. At least he isn’t panting, Nadir have to give him that.

“Goodbye.”

Nadir hangs up, grabbing the plate with pizza slices. The last ten years have been great for Nadir; he raised Reza into an well-mannered grown man. With his major, Nadir got to work with the local police department in Paris, leaving his parents in Boscherville again, and got a nice apartment near _Jardin des Tuileries_. He’s improving his life, the only problem now is this damn stalker.

“You never played _Pokémon_? Seriously, did you live under a rock as a kid?” Nadir hears Amal yell in shock.

“No, in a basement.”

Amal laughs. “Aww, you poor boy!”  she leans in to give Reza a kiss on the cheek. “I have a question.”

Nadir places his plate in the microwave, while he listens to their conversation.

“What kind of question?” Reza says, as he turns his _Nintendo Switch_ off.

“You know that my friends and I were planning to go to Disneyland next week for three days? Well, one of my friends can’t go, with some bullshit excuse and to be honest, I’m done with her, so I was thinking…maybe you want to go with us?”

“Oh! I… um… I have to ask my dad first.”

Nadir places his head in his hand, trying to hold his laughter. Reza is a grownup who still ask for his permission. He sees between his fingers Amal raising an eyebrow, but a kind smile on her face. Nadir always liked Amal; she’s short and chubby, with a temper of a tiger. Nadir have seen tall grown man bow down to her.

The microwave beeps and Nadir grabs his pizza, settling on the dining table. Reza looks at him, his eyes begging. Amal joins with him. “Can you afford it, Reza?” Nadir says, as he takes a bite. Ugh, it taste like rubber.

“I – shit, no.”

“That’s okay! My friend has paid for it all, you can pay her back bit by bit, oh please, Mr. Khan, can he come with me?” Amal now pouts her lips.

“Mr. Khan now? Is it that serious? Well, I guess you can, Reza.”

“ _Yes!_ ” Amal raises her arms in victory, and Reza smiles.

Shortly after, Amal leaves. Nadir have thrown his pizza in the trash, making a sandwich now. Reza walks to him, leaning against the counter. Nadir sees doubt in his eyes. “What is it?”

Reza shrugs. “I don’t know, dad. Are you okay being alone for three days?”

“W-what? Of course I’ll be okay! Have fun, son.” Nadir smiles. The first time Reza called him dad, he was a mess for like a week. Now it feels natural, and he sees Reza as his son, and raises him such.

“Are you sure?” Reza looks concerned.

“Don’t be looking like that, that’s my job, and besides, what can happen in three days?”

*******

Nadir is not okay. A week have passed, and Reza has left with Amal and her group. He’s being ridiculous and he knows that Reza will return, but it’s weird to enter his home after work and hear no laughter or the television. Instead, his house is dark and creepily quiet. He quickly turns the lights and television on. To his surprise, he got no calls today from his stalker today. The day isn’t officially over, but mostly he got his first call on the job.

Nadir orders Taiwanese food, and he takes a quick shower, before the delivery boy comes. In the shower, he hears the jingle of his phone. Nadir curses; it can be his stalker or his work. He turns the shower off, wrapping a towel around his hips.

Luckily, the phone still rings when he grabs it from the table. He sees it’s his colleague, Darius, calling. “Hi!” he answers. He shivers now the cold hits his wet body.

“Oh, hi Nadir! We have some great news, it’s going crazy here! We caught him – well, we caught one of them! Gabriel – _that son of a bitch_ – got a call from someone and he found them in an alley near _Palais Garnier_. The other was too fast and escaped, but he caught the other – what’s his name…” Nadir hears sounds of paper being moved. “Edward Klussin!”

Nadir’s eyes widen in shock and he almost drops his phone. “E-Edward!?” he says, his voice high.

“Yes! We are sure the other was that Erik bastard, but he sadly escaped. They’re back!”

Nadir is speechless. Erik is back in France. In the twelve years he heard nothing from him, or read something that could lead to Erik. Nadir was sure Erik left the country – like he said once – with Christine and Edward. But now they’re back. Nadir assumes Christine is still with them, or she managed to escape.

Nadir grins.

“ _I’m coming_.”

*******

“He’s going to kill you… He’s gonna kill you… _He’s gonna kill you all_!”

Nadir’s neck hair rise up in fear, and he shivers. He keeps looking at Edward through the window. When they first brought him in the interrogation room Nadir almost didn’t recognize him, but he’s sure he’s looking at Edward Klussin.

 He clearly changed over the years; still muscular as ever, but his calm posture is replaced with insanity; a permanent broad grin over his handsome face, his eyes crazy. His hands are locked, and Nadir questions why he doesn’t use his powers. Is he trying to hide them?

Edward’s eyes shift to the mirror and Nadir’s colleague, Darius, takes a step back.

“Are there people watching?” Edward asks the interrogator, his eyes back on her. His grin grows wider. “Everybody in this room is going to be dead tomorrow. He will free me.”

The interrogator doesn’t show any emotion, keeping her eyes firm on Edward. “Who will kill us?” she asks.

“Anybody… He surely will free me. I’ve been loyal to him.” Edward leans back into his chair, his body intimidating.

Darius walks closer to Nadir, bowing his head to him. “Is this really him? He sounds nothing like in your story.”

“The years made him crazy.” Nadir says calmly, though he doesn’t feel like that at all. He feels like the stupid boy again, too naïve for the world. “Years running away, escaping the police… and now he’s arrested and he is spewing nonsense.”

“What if it isn’t nonsense? What if he’s telling the truth?”

“He isn’t. We arrested many, and some spew bullshit to scare. He only cares about –”

 _Crash_. Nadir is shaken when Edward abruptly stands up and grabs the interrogator by her throat with both hands, smashing her head against the mirror, almost breaking it. The second detective in the room stands up, but Nadir can clearly see the fear in his eyes. Nadir curses and he runs out, heading to the interrogation room. Darius yells behind him to stop, that it isn’t a wise decision to go into the room.

Nadir needs to save her; he knows what Edward can do with his hands, seen it with his own two eyes. He barges in the room, distracting Edward from strangling the woman. He frowns first, probably thinking who’s brave enough to stop him, then his grin got even wider. He releases the woman, who falls on the floor, gasping for air.

“I know you…” Edward says, turning his body to Nadir. “You’ve grown, how long has it been? Eight years? Nine?”

“Twelve.” Nadir answers. “But who’s counting…”

Edward snorts. “Indeed…” he eyes Nadir up and down, his grin dropping. “He won’t like it if I hurt you.”

“Don’t tell me he still has feelings for me,” Nadir looks at the second detective quickly, and with relieve he sees that he pressed the button under his desk. Back up will be here soon. “And neither do you.”

“He does care about you, it’s a bit sickening, of course I won’t say that to him… like, what’s so special about you? I bet you gave him good head with those lips –”

“You better shut your mouth.” Nadir growls, his hand reaching slowly to the pistol in his belt. Edward notices that, and his grin grows back.

“A _touchy_ subject. Let me tell you a secret, you’re never alone.” Edward turns, looking down at the interrogator, who whimpers in fright. Edward walks back to his chair, taking a seat behind the desk again. “When you think you’re alone in your house, you aren’t.”

“What do you mean?” Nadir asks, taking a step to him. Behind him he hears hurried footsteps and soon the room is filled with his co-workers. “Wait!” he yells, just when they grab Edward by his arms. “What do you mean, I’m never alone? Who watches me?”

Edward cackles, but groans when the officers grab him more tightly. “Who do you think?” he says before he got dragged off. Edward struggles, and Nadir  sees pure terror in his eyes. Or is it fear? Nadir wants to ask more questions, and he’s sure he will never see Edward again. His boss won’t allow it after this.

And speaking of the devil; his boss barges in the room, his stern eyes falling on the hurt interrogator, who’s being taking care of by her colleagues. “What’s the meaning of this? What happened?” he barks to Nadir.

“He attacked –”

“No shit, how could this happen? He was handcuffed right?” His boss directs at the second detective.

“Yes, sir.” He answers.

“Then how could this happen?” his boss slams his hand on the desk. “This never happened!”

Nadir gulps. “Everything went so fast, he’s quick, sir.”

“Or you guys weren’t paying attention, and especially you Khan, this case is too close for you.”

“Sir –” _No. He’s so close to Erik. He’s almost in his hands_.

“I want you off this case, this is enough. I was foolish to think you could handle this, I need you alive! Your son needs you alive – this case is too personal.”

“Sir! I’m already deeply involved with this case, you know my background. Please –” _Please. He needs to see Erik_. _He needs to save Erik_. _That’s why he joined the police_.

“Go home, Khan.”

“No, sir –”

“Go home now, Khan! That’s an order!”

*******

When Nadir returns home, his stomach begins to rumble. Ah shit, he forgot about his Taiwanese food. He put his keys in the bowl next to the door, shrugging his coat off. He heads to the living room and stops dead. His television is still on, as is the lights, but what turns his blood cold is the bag of food on the salon table across the couch.

 _You’re never alone… when you think you’re alone in your house, you aren’t_.

Nadir shakes his head. Edward is trying to scare him, that’s all. There’s no one in his house. Still, he checks room after room, even the damn shower. He’s alone, but he can’t help to be wary. He returns to the living room, looking into the bag. It’s the exact food he ordered.

His phone rings and Nadir gives a yell in fright. With a shaking hand he grabs it. Unknown number.

“Hello,” he answers, his voice betraying how scared he is. “What is it now?”

Breathing, and Nadir sighs as he hangs up.  He’s going to be crazy; first that creep, Erik is back in the country, and now someone has been in his house to what actually? Only to answer the door and pay for his food?

His phone buzzes to his surprise, and Nadir looks at the message.

_‘Eat your food.’_

Nadir leaves his house without a second thought.

***

“Boop!” Erik pushes his finger on Edward’s nose, rubbing it. “This is the second time I have to rescue you. I’m lucky the cells in France aren’t that highly secured as in Russia.”

In the background there are sounds of police officers working, or having small talk, having no idea what’s happening. Edward shakes the bars, looking angry at Erik. “You took your sweet time! What – were you spying on your darling? Is he more important?”

“What a stupid question, of course he is more important than you.” Erik takes a step back. “And don’t speak with that tone, or else I’ll let you rot here.”

Edward groans. “I’m sorry, but he works with the police, how can you still love him?”

“You never have been in love, Eddie.” Erik places his hand on the lock, red light appearing between his fingers. In a few seconds he unlocks it and Erik opens the door. “But… there’s something troubling Nadir.”

“Well, gosh darn, I’m more concerned about the fact that he knows we’re here and can rattle about our powers.” Edward follows Erik to the office, and he raises one eyebrow as no one tries to stop them, like they don’t exist. “Um, what did you tell them? Why can’t they see us?”

“The usual. I meddled with the cameras and their computers also so we can’t be filmed. It’s like you’re never been here.”

“Except for –”

“Except for Nadir and some few others. But it’s their word against hundreds. Also, Nadir would never tell about our powers. He never told on Reza, oh, he grown so much.”

Before Edward knows it, he’s standing in the cold streets again, and he grins. “Enough about them, I’m a bit disappointed, Erik. I did tell you would kill everyone.”

“That’s not my style anymore, Nadir will be much disappointed in me.”

They walk down the streets, as if they’re on a evening stroll, instead of escaping the police. Edward notices Erik eyeing the street that will lead to Nadir’s apartment. He sighs. He knows from the start that returning to France will mess up Erik and their goal to kill every ‘pet owner’ like Khanam. It’s a stupid name, and humiliating, but Edward doesn’t know a better name. Nor does Erik.

 “I guess I will see you later?” he says. “Where will we meet up in the underground?”

“No, go immediately to Christine and Lisa. We don’t go underground tonight. I don’t know when I’ll return.”

“You need to stop spying on him, Erik. He lived on, and so should you. He does not love you –”

“ _When did you become a shrink_!? Go! I’ll see you tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to part 2 in the story! With a creepy stalker. Who is he. Or she.


	10. Pictures

**7.3.2007 [past]**

_“I love you so much.” Erik kissed Nadir on the lips, pressing his body against Nadir’s. They were both naked, but it was not sexual or anything, as Erik liked to explore every bit of Nadir’s body, seeking the parts that made him giggle. Nadir did the same, pressing his lips against Erik’s scars._

_“I want to tell you something, but it’s embarrassing…” Nadir whispered, although he didn’t have to. It was late, and Erik knew for sure everybody was sleeping except for them._

_Erik looked into his eyes, seeing how unsure Nadir was. “You can tell me everything.” he assured._

_“I… Even when I thought you were dead, I pictured a future with you.” Nadir began, and even in the dark Erik saw him blushing. Nadir looked down, biting his lip. Erik raised his hand, pressing his fingers under Nadir’s chin, so he had to look up. Their eyes met again, and Nadir swallowed, licking his lips. “You know, a little house, the two of us… nobody else. In our own world.”_

_“Seems perfect.” Erik purred. He kissed Nadir again, tender. “We can have a pet.”_

_Nadir hummed, smiling into the kiss. “A dog.”_

_“Or a cat.”_

_“No.”_

_Erik laughed softly, brushing his fingers through Nadir’s hair. “Not even one?”_

_“Hmm.” Nadir pressed his face into Erik’s bony chest._

_“What was that?”_

_“Mmmaybe, so long you stay at my side.”_

_Erik closed his eyes, feeling all warm and cozy. “I’ll always be by your side.”_

_***_

**11.19.2019 [present]**

Nadir wakes up, his back hurting. Ugh, he’s getting old. He flutters his eyes open, immediately recognizing where he is. Last night he escaped to Darius, who knows more about his situation. Darius let him sleep on the couch, while he contacted the police department.

The police found nothing in his apartment, but Nadir could’ve told them that. The creep not only knows his phone number, but also the place where he lives. Nadir hates not being in control, it made him think of Erik, and he doesn’t want to. With Erik back in France – in Paris of all places – he knows it won’t be long he will see him again.

Nadir wonders how he will react at seeing Erik again. Will he be angry? Will he take Erik’s face in his hands and cry? Will he curse and hit him? Will he… be happy?

Nadir doesn’t know.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Darius walks into the living room, already in suit.

Nadir sits up, looking up to his colleague. “It’s nothing…”

“Is it about Edward? Or your stalker?” Darius urges, as he sits next to Nadir, grabbing the remote. He turns the television on, but his gaze is on Nadir, who keeps quiet. He never speaks with others about Erik. It’s not their concern, but his. “You know… I think your stalker is that other guy.”

“What?” Nadir shrieks.

“What? It makes sense, I mean, we know about your calls, but it was just that, calls! Now we arrested Edward, and suddenly your stalker has been in your house? Paying your food? Okay, that part is weird, but you know where I’m getting at.”

Nadir shakes his head. “No, no… he’s nothing like that. He will –” _never scare me_ , but Nadir stops himself in time. Darius places his hand on Nadir’s knee, giving a little squeeze. He’s probably thinking Nadir is having it hard. It’s the opposite; sure, the calls and the thought of someone being in his house does creep him out, but never Erik. Nadir is more scared of his own feelings.

“Will you stay here, or go back home?” Darius asks. “I think you can get security.”

“Please, no. I’ll be fine. I’ll go home and secure everything. I’m a detective, for god’s sake.”

“That says nothing, if I was in your position, I’ll be shitting my pants and cry for a whole week. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.”

“I know…” Nadir stands up, feeling his bones crack. “But I can handle it. I’ve been through worse.”

“ _Heh_. Oh, Nadir?”

“Hmm?”

“Call your son.”

***

It takes forty minutes to go from Disneyland to Paris. Reza got home in less than twenty, his hair wild and eyes all wide in concern. He drops his luggage in the hall, before he throws his arms around Nadir. “I should have never left.” is the first thing he says.

Nadir only told him about the stalker, not about Edward or Erik. He wonders if Darius will call him about Edward, since he’s off the case. The day goes slowly, and at night, Nadir closes the curtains and locks the windows and the front door. Reza is agitated, and Nadir caught him several times looking between the curtains. After eight PM, he gets a phone call from Darius finally.

“Hey, do you know more about Edward and where he’s been?” he answers. Reza is behind his laptop, wearing headphones, so he won’t hear him.

“ _Oh thank god, I’m not crazy after all_ ,” Darius responds, which makes Nadir furrow his brows. “ _I… um, the people knew nothing about Edward when I asked, and I went to his cell, he was not there, Nadir! He escaped!_ ”

“What! How could he escape!” Nadir hisses, trying not to yell in rage. “Why did you not call earlier? I would’ve –”

“ _No, you’re off the case, Nadir. I don’t know why no one remembers him, it’s like I’m working in a different department, even the boss looked at me like I was crazy. This is freaking me out_.”

 “Shit. Okay, did you look into the camera footage?”

“ _Yes, and… wait, why are you not freaked out that no one is remembering Edward?_ ”

“What’s on the footage, Darius!”

“ _Nothing! It’s like we never arrest them. Not in the interrogation room, or the cell! In the room, it’s like you’re having a nice chat with Meg and Markus, instead with Edward. He’s gone_!”

“ _Haramzadeh_! Erik was in the department, he meddled with the footage. Darius, I need to think, I’ll come tomorrow.”

“No, wait, Nadir –”

Nadir hangs up, having the urge to throw his phone across the room. Edward is – was – his only lead to Erik. He needs to think, to clear his mind but with the mess of yesterday, it’s getting too much. First, he needs to deal with his stalker, that’s his priority right now.

Suddenly, Edward’s words float in his mind; _he does care about you, it’s a bit sickening_ , and he talked of Nadir never being alone. An idea springs to life, and Nadir stands up, to open his curtains again. He unlocks the windows but not the front door. Reza follows him with his eyes, being all confused.

“What are you doing?” he asks eventually when Nadir opens the door to his little balcony. “Dad?”

Nadir inhales the cold breeze that hit his face, closing his eyes. He sighs, and opens them again, looking over _Boulevard des Capucines_. The streets beneath him are busy, people chatting and having a drink at the many cafes. People can easily spot him, and that’s what he wants. He wants the stalker come to him.

He wants the stalker to come to him, for him to think he’s vulnerable. But he isn’t really, if he has to believe Edward, Erik is watching him too. If the stalker is being a threat and enters his house, then Erik will see it too.

Edward said Erik still cares for him. Nadir can catch two birds with one stone, if he succeeds. His biggest problem will be Erik. He needs to be strong, control his emotions, and convince Erik to stay at his side. Whatever reason Erik had to leave him twelve years ago, Nadir wants to know.

And maybe he will punch him for it.

*******

A few days pass with nothing exciting. Nadir did see the footage on work and it amazes him how Erik got stronger in his powers, and maybe he’s the strongest of all. Nadir knows thanks to raising Reza how most of their powers work. It starts with one, and with Reza it’s that he can bend water to his will.

And then close to their first ability, there comes a second power, and with Reza it’s he can control the blood in people and bend their bodies. He performed it  on Nadir once, but got scared, and he apologized for a whole week.

Nadir wonders what Erik’s second power is. He knows about the lights when they were kids, but what can they do? Make illusions? Take forms?

The only strange thing is that the phone calls stopped. No more calls or messages, and to be honest, it scared Nadir more. What does it mean? Nadir had a flint of hope that the stalker got bored and went to someone else, but that doesn’t make any sense, and Nadir had a suspicion that they’re waiting somewhere, waiting for an opening.

On the last day of November, in the evening is when Nadir got a knock on his door. Reza looks up from his laptop immediately, and before Nadir got the chance to stand up, his son is already at the door, opening it.

“Oh wow, calm down, boy!” Nadir hears an all too familiar voice. “I’m coming to visit.”

Nadir takes a sprint to the hall, and surely, Raoul stands before Reza, his hands up in a joking manner. He looks tired and older, sporting a little mustache and wrinkles in the corner of his eyes. Reza looks between him and Nadir. Raoul spots him, and a smile appears.

“Hey old friend.” He says. “Can I come in?”

“Of course.” Nadir stammers, his feelings between surprise and confused. “Reza, let him in.” and instantly regrets saying his son’s name. He sees Raoul frown, and stare at Reza. He says nothing as Reza lets him inside. Nadir leads him to the living room, offering the arm chair to sit in.

“Reza, make tea for us, or do you want coffee, Raoul?”

“Coffee,  with two sugar cubes, no milk, please, I’m a bit tired.” Raoul says as he settles in the arm chair. Reza eyes him suspiciously, but walks to the kitchen. Nadir sits on the couch, as an awkward silence falls between them. Question do scurry in Nadir’s mind, but where does he start?

“Um, how did you find me?” Nadir decides to start with. Is he that easy to track?

“Not even ‘ _How are you’_? Well, if you insist, I went to the police department because they called me a few days ago, because there was news I was involved in years ago. I didn’t believe them. Until today, and to my biggest surprise, everybody there looked at me like I was crazy when I asked about Edward.” He says the name like it’s venom. “Except for one detective, Daris? Dary?”

“Darius.”

“Yes, him! He send me to you. Another surprise really, you a detective?”

Nadir furrows his brows, but he lets that remark slip. “So Darius sent you, why?”

“Because you know more about the case.”

Nadir barks out a laugh. “I’m off the case.”

“Darius told me that too, but I… trust you more than the police.”

Nadir’s eyes widen in shock, and he doesn’t know what to say next. Raoul looks a bit sheepish after saying that, shrugging his shoulders. “I mean, you – _we_ – know more about them than the police. I need to know, Nadir, do you have a clue where they are?”

“Do you want revenge, Raoul?” Nadir asks sharply.

“I want Christine back, dammit! He stole so many things from me, my brother, my lover – for one I mourned so long, but I know for certain that bastard still has her and she’s alive. I don’t want revenge no, but I won’t  care less if someone shoots him dead. I want Christine safe in my arms again, that’s all I care about.”

“Raoul –”

“Now Erik is back in Paris, I need your help. You know him!”

“ _Erik!?_ ”

Nadir whips his head around, and sees Reza holding two cups, looking shocked. But slowly a grin appears on his face and he walks into the room, placing the cups on the table. “Is he back, dad?” He asks enthusiastically.

“ _Dad?_ ” Raoul says surprised.

“Reza, we’ll talk later about this. I need to talk to Raoul first, it’s important.”

His son seems not to agree, but he obeys as he goes back sitting behind his laptop. Nadir looks back at Raoul, who cocked his head a bit to the left. “So,” Raoul coughs. “Will you help me?”

“I don’t know much, Raoul, but I’ve heard that they were seen near _Palais Garnier_.”

“ _Palais Garnier_? That’s right around the corner, well, not actually, but close! I –” Raoul stops, his eyes widening. “– we need to go there, right now.”

“Not now. We can go tomorrow, in broad day light, if you want.”

“Why tomorrow? I want to look now.”

“I don’t think it’s a wise idea.”

“Why –”

“My father is being stalked.” Reza interrupts Raoul fiercely. He has closed his laptop, and looks irritated. “He can’t go outside in the dark. It’s like waving a flag ‘ _Oh, here I am, catch me_!’.”

“Sorry, I didn’t know.” Raoul looks a little uncomfortable now, as his eyes shift to the windows in worry. “Shouldn’t you close the curtains or something? Are you okay?”

Nadir shakes his head. “Enough about that, I do want to help you finding Christine, but Erik is my business. Not yours.”

Raoul frowns, as he leans forward to grab his cup of coffee. “Fine. So we go tomorrow?”

“Yes, if you still want to.” Nadir picks his cup too, taking a sip. It still feels unreal to be talking to Raoul again. He can say it’s like nothing have changed, but a lot did change between them. And yet, Nadir feels glad that Raoul choose him over the whole police department, despite what happened.

“Of course I still want to.” Raoul sighs. “I waited so long, and now I know she’s here nearby, no one will stop me taking her back again.”

It’s listening to an old recorder, as Nadir hears his old self but in Raoul. He nods. “I understand.”

Raoul stays for an hour more, before he finally says he’s too tired to talk anymore. Nadir shows him out, saying goodbye. Silence falls again in the apartment. Reza rises from the couch, as he yawns. Nadir wants to go to bed too.

“Are you going to arrest Erik, dad?” Reza asks suddenly.

“No,” Nadir replies immediately. “No, I won’t.”

Reza sighs in relief. “Thank god. I know what he did… and to that man’s brother. but Erik did good to me. He’s not all evil.”

“I know, son.”

*******

Nadir wakes up to the sound of buzzing. It’s still dark in the room, and he groans. Blindly, his hand searches for his phone, and eventually he grabs it from the nightstand next to him. He rises from the bed, planting his feet on the floor. He rubs his eyes as he opens his phone, and then hisses at the sharp light.

He dims it, blinking his eyes rapidly to adjust. To his shock, he sees that he has ten messages from an unknown number. With a trembling finger, he swipes the messages open, and his eyes widen. There aren’t messages, but pictures of him in bed.

One is taken close to his face while he was sleeping. Fear kicks in, but somehow Nadir manages to walk out of his bedroom with the phone still in hand. Cold wind hits him, and Nadir sees that a window in the living room is open, letting the cold in. Nadir closes it quickly, and he spins around, scanning his living room. There’s no one.

He leaps to Reza’s room, opening the door silently as he can. Reza is sleeping peacefully in his bed. Oh, thank Allah.

Immediately, Nadir checks the other rooms to assure there is no one in his apartment. He inhales a deep breath of relief as he finds his apartment empty. He goes back to his room, where his knees give in and he sits on his bed.

The phones buzzes again, scaring Nadir. He opens it, and this time it’s a message and a picture.

_‘You have a soft body.’_

Under a picture of Nadir, with the covers pulled away, showing his half naked body.

Anger takes Nadir, and he texts back quickly.

_‘Why me?’_

Nadir waits, his heart hammering, not knowing if they will answer. They do.

_‘So he will know how it feels to lose someone close to you.’_

And Nadir is too late when he hears a creak behind him. He turns quickly as he can, but something hard hit his temple, knocking him out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [sweats]


	11. Answers

**12.1.2019 [present]**

Nadir screams through his gag, trying to squirm away from the pain, but the knife cuts through his skin quick and swift. Tears blur Nadir’s vision, but he sees his stalker walking away from him, his knife bloody. He swipes it clean on a cloth, as he hums a song.

“You know,” his stalker says, his voice deep and husky. “I didn’t think I would actually enjoy this, but man, I sure do. I can’t wait to see him finding you like this, all messed up, just like he did with my mother. Well –” he sits onto the bed, slapping his gloved hand on Nadir’s shoulder.  “– I didn’t actually see my mother, because I was too young, but I heard stories from my family members. How he broke her neck and left her in the dirt.”

Nadir doesn’t know who he’s talking about, as he’s searching for an possibility to break from his restraints. No luck so far. He feels blood slipping from his back into the bed. Nadir remembers waking up to pain, from the stalker cutting his knife deep in his shoulder.

What had he done to Reza in the mean time? More tears jump in Nadir’s eyes, thinking of the worst scenarios. He can’t be dead. Nadir won’t forgive himself.

It’s still dark, but Nadir sees the first rays of sunlight through the curtains in his room.

“Do you know how hard it was for a young little boy, to wake up in the morning and hear his mom had been killed, and that they couldn’t find the killer? What’s worse, my family got questioned by the police. Everything was taken from us, our money, our property… our _name_. I lost everything. All by one man.” The stalker continues, taking a deep breath.

“It was hard to find him, but I found someone,” he chuckles. “I found someone who survived that day. An old employee of my mom’s. She told me, after I threatened her and her daughter. She didn’t know where he has, like every fool I stumbled upon, but she said your name.”

Nadir’s eyes shift to the stalker, seeing him grin. He is middle eastern like Nadir, clean shaven and young as Reza. “ _’I know about Nadir Khan. He loved him_.’ pft, creatures like him can’t love. But I was curious, and after months of work, here I am.”

His hand touches Nadir’s face, his thumb going over Nadir’s dry lips. “I can see why he loves you. You’re a real beauty, but no more when I’m done with you.”

Nadir sees the knife again, and he inhales deep through his nose, panic settling in.

“He will hear or read about you in the news, wherever he is. Over the detective who’s been killed in his own apartment, with his son.”

At the mention of Reza, Nadir’s body slumps, feeling more destroyed than he already is. Reza is dead?

“Oh, you don’t fight anymore? Where’s the spirit? Come on, the show is just starting!”

A knife cuts deep in his arm, and Nadir yells in his gag.

“Let me hear you! Yes, louder.”

Sound of a window been opened in the living room stops the stalker, pulling his knife back. “What the –” he turns his body to the open door, but Nadir can’t see anything as he blocks his view. “ _Shit!_ ”

The guy jumps off the bed, trying to close the door but he is too late as it bursts right open, knocking him over. Nadir looks over his shoulder, and his eyes widens slightly at the sight of Erik. Even with the mask on, he can see how murderously Erik looks down at the guy, his eyes turning into crinkled slits and his teeth bare.

“ _You!_ –” the guy tries to stab Erik in his leg with his knife, but Erik jumps away in time. In a swift movement, Erik leans down and steals the knife from the guy’s hand. He punches it right in the guy’s cheek, and pulls it away again. The guy gurgles blood, spitting on the floor.

“Come on!” Erik mocks, grabbing him by his hair, pulling his head up. “Be louder!”

There’s quick footsteps, and Nadir notices a quick flash of blond hair pass their door. Erik doesn’t pay it any attention, playing with the knife in his hand. “ _Edward!_ ” he barks suddenly. “Tie him up in a chair or something.”

Edward’s massive body walks into the room, and without saying a word, he grabs the guy and drags him out the room. Quickly, Erik leans over Nadir, inspecting his wounds. He curses, as he unties Nadir, pulling the gag out of his mouth. “ _Don’t move!_ ” Erik commands, and Nadir can’t help but obey.

“H-Help Reza, my son.” Nadir rasps, looking at Erik. “Please, help him.”

“He is okay.” Says a soft voice suddenly near his ear, and a hand touch the wound on his shoulder. Warmth fills it, making him a bit dizzy, but it feels good. “Everything is going to be okay.”

“No, Reza is dead. He… killed my son.” He wants to stand up, see his son and hope to Allah it isn’t true.

“Your… Reza is okay, Nadir. He is alive.”

_He is alive._

Nadir sobs, but he smiles through his tears. He feels the hand going to another stab wound, and the same feeling of warmth comes back. The pain slowly goes away, and Nadir closes his eyes, his body exhausted. Cold fingers go through his hair, the thumb rubbing slowly over his bruised temple. Nadir opens his eyes half way, staring at Erik.

“You came.” He whispers. He wants to reach out to him, touch him, but he can’t move his arm.

Erik looks back at him, his amber eyes worried for the first time. He nods.

“We’re going to have a talk.” Nadir says, trying to be stern, but he is too tired. He closes his eyes again, giving a sigh. The hand goes over his last wound, warming it up.

“First I need to talk to someone else.” Erik growls, retrieving his hand, as he stands up. “Take care of him, Christine.”

_Christine!?_

Nadir opens his eyes again, but this time in shock. Erik leaves the room, and in his place comes Christine, her hand still on the wound. She smiles at him awkwardly. “Long time no see. I’m almost done with your stab wound.”

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be locked up somewhere?” Nadir says. She looks beautiful as ever, like she hasn’t aged a bit. She’s wearing old plain jeans and a black sweater. She looks healthy, and it baffles Nadir.

Christine frowns in confusion at his questions. “Why would I be locked up?”

“Erik, he… Raoul told me he kidnapped you.”

“Raoul…” Christine pulls her hand back, and she casts her eyes down. “I didn’t know Raoul thought that. Look, we will have a conversation about this, but first we need to know who this guy is. _You can move now, Nadir_.”

Nadir rolls first on his side, surprised by the lack of pain, and then sits at the edge of his bed. His fingers slide over his upper arm where the guy just stabbed him, but the wound  and the pain are completely gone.

A scream from the living room makes him and Christine jump, followed by a ‘ _Don’t scream_!’ by Erik, and Nadir leaps out of bed before Christine can stop him. He barges into the living room and sees the guy tied up in a chair, with Erik leaning towards him, his face mere inches away from the guy’s face. Edward stands next to him, his face bored.

“Who are you?” Erik asks, in a growling voice.

“I’m Amir Khanam.” The guy – Amir – answers. “You may recognize me.”

With no warning, Erik stabs the knife he’s still holding in Amir’s knee, twisting it. Amir bites his lip, stifling his scream, until he draws blood. Erik slaps him mockingly in the face.

“Luckily, I don’t know you, but I recognize your last name. Let me guess, son of that whore?”

“Don’t talk about my mother like that.”

Erik taps his finger against the knife, and Amir hisses.  “She was a whore, no, even a whore deserves respect, she was a monster who liked seeing people suffer for her own pleasure.”

“The only monster here is you,” And Amir spits blood on Erik’s mask. “For killing my mother and many others!”

Erik pulls back, his lips sneered in disgust. Amir laughs, almost mad. “You – you are a crazy son of a bitch. You know, when Giry told me about your precious Nadir – yes, thanks to her I know about him – and when I saw him the first time, I laughed.”

“Why is that!?” Nadir asks suddenly.

Amir turns his head to look at him, being surprised, but a then a grin crooks up. “Look at you! All being healed up, did you enjoy my knife play? This is what I mean, look at how hot you are,” and he nods to Erik. “and this creature wants you. I can truly satisfy you.”

“Yeah, the knife really did arouse me, how did you know,” Nadir says sarcastically. Erik stares at him, his eyes unreadable. Nadir takes a few more steps in Amir’s direction, until he stands next to him. He leans in, his face close to Amir’s, who still grins. “Especially the calls, they were truly –” in the blink of an eye, Nadir grabs the knife in Amir’s knee, pulls it out, and stabs him in his other knee. Amir’s grin drops and he groans, closing his eyes. “– _hot_.”

Nadir rips his flesh, and Amir bites his lip again, tears leaking out of his eyes. “Or the fact you admitted minutes ago, you were going to kill my son.” He twists the knife, and he sees blood pulsing out of the knee.

“Stop! P-please, stop!” Amir cries out.

Nadir cuts even further, loving the power and the satisfaction seeing pain in Amir’s face. Nadir despises him, he wants to see him dead – _he does not to deserve to live!_

A hand on his wrist stops Nadir, and it wakes him from his trance. He cocks his head up to see Erik.

“That’s enough. We deal with him, Nadir.” He says.

“Frankly, Erik, he is my business! I have more to say to him, than you do right now.” Nadir snarls.

“You’re not thinking straight, Nadir, you let your emotions –”

“He threatened to kill my son, Erik! Do you expect me to be calm!?” Nadir yells, standing up. He looks at Erik, who takes a step back, wary. It angers Nadir more. “I do not care what would’ve happened to me, but this bastard wanted to touch my son!”

“I would have cared –”

“Bullshit! You left me years ago!”

Silence falls in the living room, even Amir looks between them, an amusing smile on his face, enjoying it. Edward looks more awkward by the second, scratching his arm. Erik’s eyes turn cold, and Nadir doesn’t regret what he said.

“I left you,” Erik growls. “To protect you.”

Nadir punches him right in his mask, and he hisses when his knuckles hit the porcelain hard. He groans, rubbing his hand, but he keeps his stare at Erik, who looks hurt too, but succeeds in hiding it more. “Don’t give me that cliché crap,” Nadir snarls. “Oh sure, he –” he waves his hand to Edward. “– can travel with you, even bloody Christine, but I cannot!”

“I wanted a normal life for you!” Erik bites back. “But this is not the time to talk about it. _Go to your room!_ ”

 The familiar pull goes through his body, and he moves against his will back to his room. “What – _unbelievable!_ I hate you, Erik!” he slams the door behind him, and turns his angry eyes on Christine, who stayed on the bed. Her eyes are sad, and she looks away when Nadir gives her a glare.

“So, did you leave Raoul too?” Nadir spits, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Won’t surprise me.”

Christine doesn’t answer, her back to Nadir.

“He kept searching for you,” Nadir continues, not caring if she says anything. “He showed up at my door after twelve years, saying how he wants you back in his life, and wants my help searching for you. He still loves you.”

No reaction.

“You don’t care about us. You left us.”

“That’s not true.” Christine says finally. “We care a lot.”

“You have a funny way of showing it.”

“That day, in Spain,” Christine says, turning to Nadir, and he sees she’s fighting back her tears. “When you got shot, and Sorelli spoke about what I was, I knew my life wouldn’t be the same , especially after Philippe… I had two decisions, go with Erik or stay with Raoul.”

She sniffs. “I went with Erik because… how Raoul talked about us. It scared me, like we were lunatics. But now I’m older and more wise, I realized he didn’t meant it like that. But at that moment, I was scared and I choose the wrong person, and I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”

Nadir calms a bit, but he keeps quiet, waiting for her to continue.

“I don’t know why Erik left you, maybe it’s the same, though I doubt it. Maybe… _no_.” she shakes her head.

“ _What?_ ” Nadir snaps.

“Maybe, he was afraid you will see him as a monster too, but this is a guess.”

Nadir snorts, almost laughing. “Bullshit. I won’t believe that for a second he left me for that. I never saw him as a monster.”

“Maybe he doesn’t know that.”

Christine stays quiet again, and Nadir keeps silent too, tired of talking. He hears murmurs behind the door, and sometimes footsteps. He’s anxious, wanting to know what they’re planning. He’s also curious how Reza’s been doing.

Nadir paces in his room, looking at the door, waiting for it to open. Christine is still in the same position, also waiting. Nadir after some time put a shirt on, when he got cold. After an hour, a pair of footsteps pass the door, and Nadir hears the front door being opened and closed. Then his door opened, and Erik enters his room. His mask is clean again, and he looks a bit tired, but agitated. He nods to Christine, not giving Nadir a glance.

“You will go to your house, back to Lisa,” Erik commands. “Bring Reza with you. Explain him everything. I will have a talk with Nadir.”

“You won’t take my son.” Nadir says, taking a step to Erik. “He stays here!”

“We’re going to have a talk, like you wished to, and I don’t want to be disturbed!” Erik answers, his voice firm. “Get on with it, Christine!”

Christine jumps from the bed, leaving the room. Nadir follows her, wanting to see his son at least, but Erik blocks his path. Nadir frowns, his anger kicking in again. “Step aside.” He growls.

“No.” Erik grabs Nadir by the arm, dragging him to the living room. Nadir spots Reza, dressed up and all, in the hall with Christine. Reza looks worried, but he willingly walks with Christine. Or she commanded him, Nadir doesn’t know.

Edward and Amir are gone. The chair is back at the dining table. Even the knife is gone. Nadir stares at Erik, now taking his time to study him. He spots grey little hairs at Erik’s temple, showing his age, and he’s still skinny as ever, but at least his dark clothing fit him.

Erik releases Nadir from his grip, walking to the windows. He closes the curtains, and before Nadir can ask why, Erik takes his mask off. His face is still the same as ever. Erik looks insecure for a second, switching his glances on the mask and Nadir.

The front door closes, and it takes everything in Nadir to hold his anger, so he quietly says, “Tell me why you left me. The truth.”

“Don’t you want to know about Amir?” Erik asks first, placing his mask on the table.

“Don’t change the subject. Amir is dead to me, and I sure hope Edward does it for me.” And with that, Nadir takes place on the table. Erik keeps standing, his arms crossed.

“He does,” Erik answers. “He will make it look it was an accident.”

“Good, now tell me.”

Erik gives a big sigh, his eyes looking everywhere but Nadir. “I didn’t want to leave you, I wanted you at my side, at all costs, but then… I hurt you. That night, when I strangled you, I never forgave myself, no matter what you or Christine said. That’s when I saw what’s she did to me… and I couldn’t keep you. I didn’t want to hurt you anymore.”

“But you did.” Nadir hisses through his teeth. “You did hurt me when you left me.”

“It was for the better, Nadir.”

Nadir slams his fist on the table. “You can’t decide for me! I said it multiple times, I will be by your side, no matter what, but clearly, it fell on deaf ears!”

“Erik wanted a good life for you! A life with Erik isn’t good!”

Nadir jumps up, the chair falling on the floor. “I wanted a life with you!” _and he still does._ “I pictured a future with you.” His voice breaks, and he hates himself for it. “But you left me in the dirt.” He takes a deep breath, controlling his voice, wanting to show he can be strong.

“You have a great life without me.” Erik says, as if he didn’t hear what Nadir last said. “Reza is raised with love, which I never doubted, and you have a steady job.”

“I took the job to find you. I took your case fast as I could when I found it in the files… my whole life since then has been a road to you, has broken me but you’re here… and I won’t let you go. Ever again.”

Erik’s eyes widens, in surprise or shock, Nadir doesn’t know, and Erik shakes his head in disbelief. “I… Erik does not deserve you.”

“But,” Nadir says, ignoring Erik. “If you ever leave me again, stay away. I never want to see you again. I give you this chance. It’s your decision now if you stay or leave.”

Erik stares, and Nadir’s heart is beating fast, scared. If Erik decides to leave, it meant that he really never loved Nadir, and he doesn’t know if he can handle it. His heart skips a beat when Erik retrieves his mask – _he’s going to leave!_ – and Nadir opens his mouth, ready to curse but his voice stops in time as the mask slips Erik’s fingers. It falls back on the table.

“I stay.” Erik says.

“What.”

Nadir can’t believe what he’s hearing, and he’s sure his knees are giving out, so his hands lean on the table.

“I said, I stay. I want to stay at your side, though I still believe I don’t deserve it.” Erik swallows. “But I’ll try to make it up for you. I’ll try to work on myself.”

A laugh escapes Nadir’s lips, and he blushes in embarrassment. Erik raises an eyebrow at the sound. Nadir let’s himself laugh, anger leaving his body and he feels tears slip over his cheeks. Everything hits him, his defense gone, and he finally sinks on his knees.

The reality of what occurred in the couple of hours sips in him; the threat, being stabbed several times and Erik being in his presence again. He feels dizzy.

He hiccups, as he laughs and cry at the same time. A shadow looms over him, and he looks up to Erik, who seems concerned. He kneels next to Nadir, and with a trembling hand, he places it on Nadir’s back.

“Are you okay?” he asks.

Nadir nods, not trusting his voice, and he leans in, resting his forehead against Erik’s shoulder. He doesn’t have the desire to kiss Erik yet. First, he needs to work with him, being his friend. What happens afterwards, it will be a surprise.

He waited twelve years. He’s sure he can handle couple of more months.


	12. Erik Bonfils

Nadir cancels his meeting with Raoul, by sending him a text, lying that he feels ill. He calls his work with the same message. It’s eight in the morning, and Nadir is busy changing the sheets of his bed. He doesn’t want to look at his own bloodstains anymore, it makes him sick. Christine is still gone with Reza, and Nadir wonders when she will return.

He hears Erik walking through his apartment, taking everything in. His interest lie in the framed pictures on the wall. He studies every picture, and his gaze stops at the one where Reza is grinning widely, with Nadir behind him. Nadir thinks he looks too tired in the picture, but he loved Reza’s grin and wanted it framed.

He stares at Erik when he throws his blood stained bed sheets in the trash bag.

“You look tired.” Erik says, turning his head to Nadir. He motions his hand to the picture. “Why?”

“Raising a child, and studying at police school will do that,” Nadir comes to stand next to Erik, trash bag in hand. “I truly do love Reza, but he was a pain in the ass when he went through puberty. He felt like a outcast, not knowing the hottest trend or whatever the kids were into those days, and like a typical teen, he blamed me.”

Erik licks his lips. “Hm, when did you… start calling him your son?”

“When he called me dad.”

“And when was that?”

“A year after you left me. The brat, playing with my feelings.” Nadir chuckles, remembering that day fondly. With his free hand he points to the picture when they were in Disneyland. “He loved the movies so much. He ate so much candy he threw up in _Space Mountain_ , all over my lap.”

“And this one,” he points to the second picture. “His first date with Amal, he was so nervous. I of course took pictures to embarrass him more. And this one is where I –”

“You are a great parent.” Erik says out of the blue.

Nadir snorts. “I’m alright, at best, but listen, this is where I –” he tells all the stories behind the pictures, and Erik listens. Nadir doesn’t even notice the time, enjoying the tiny smile on Erik’s face too much, but their moment gets interrupted by a knock on the door.

Erik’s body tenses immediately, and Nadir drops the trash bag he’s been holding the entire time. “Let me see who it is,” he says, as he walks to the door. He opens it and sees Edward with a smug grin. He barges in, pushing Nadir away and slaps his hand on Erik’s shoulder.

“We’re done – well, I’ve done the job for you – so, we can go back to where we belong.” Edward looks at the living room over Erik’s shoulder, and furrowed his brows. “Where is Christine? Is she in the bedroom still?”

“Eddie,” Erik begins, shooing Edward’s hand off his shoulder with his own hand like it was a pesky insect. “I’m not going with you.”

“What – what do you mean?” Edward stammers.

“I’m staying here with Nadir.” Erik says, when Nadir closes the door, to attract Edward’s attention on him. If looks could kill, Nadir would be dead on the spot with how Edward stares at him.

“You’re making a joke, right? You can’t… we don’t belong in this world! This normal life!? A family?” Edward growls, anger clearly showing. “You know what you are!”

“And what am I precisely, Edward Klussin?” Erik snarls.

Edward opens his mouth, closing it again, thinking which word to use. “Not them.” He ends with.

“I think the word you’re searching for is _monster_ , Edward.”

“I’ll accept you no matter what, but this _prick_ is trying to change you.” Edward whispers. “Giving you false hope.”

“I’ll pretend you didn’t say that, because of the loyalty you showed me all those years, but I’ll ask you to leave me and my part – friend alone.”

“What about Christine? Lisa!?” Edward hisses. “Do you leave them too?”

“If Christine is smart enough, she’ll return to that boy with Lisa.”

Nadir wonders who this Lisa is, and why Christine is bringing her to Raoul. He doesn’t remember there being a Lisa in Raoul’s life or in Christine’s life until now. Why is she important? Why did she travel with Erik and his gang? Is she one of _them_? Many questions fly in his head.

 “That boy is a danger to us.” Edward says.

“Not to Christine.” Nadir interrupts. “He’ll never hurt Christine.”

Edward snorts. “So… this is it? We’ll part ways.” He takes a step away from Erik, looking him over. “After all the things we’ve done, you really think you have a chance in this life?”

“I want to try.” Erik says. “I’m tired of our life, living underground.”

“I’m going back underground. I…” Edward shakes his head. “I think what you’re doing is stupid, and I know you’ll return to me, sooner or later. This is not your life.”

“ _Leave now, Edward_! Never return!” Erik barks. A command.

Edward blinks, his eyes going glossy. Without saying another word, he walks out of the apartment, slamming the door. Nadir thinks it’s a miracle his neighbors didn’t complain yet. Before he could turn to glance at Erik, arms wrap around his waist from behind, and he stiffens.

“Don’t listen to a word he said,” Erik whispers, his hot breath on Nadir’s ear. “I want this life.”

“Are you trying to convince me, or yourself.” Nadir says, trying not to concentrate on Erik’s fingers on his stomach. His fingers press hard against his navel.

“You. I’m convinced.” Erik answers. “I want to be in your life.”

“Okay…” Nadir says simply, not knowing what else to say. His stomach makes a turn when Erik’s fingers start to fiddle with his shirt. He shamelessly presses his body against Erik’s, his back against Erik’s chest. “I want to be convinced.”

“Erik knows you can change him for good, know who he was before he got captured, and Erik still believes he doesn’t deserve this, but he’s selfish and wants you.”

“ _Erik_ …”

“I never stopped loving you.” And there’s a kiss on his cheek.

Nadir steps forward, leaving Erik’s embrace. He turns and sees that Erik is a bit hurt by his reaction. “Not yet,” he says. “I want to be your friend first. I want to help you.”

“I can’t kiss you…?” Erik says slowly, unsure.

“I…” Nadir casts his eyes down. He’ll be lying he doesn’t want to kiss right here and now. Having the desire back. To feel his lips against his. He sighs, looking up again. “I want you to kiss me when you feel you deserve it.”

“That’s never.”

“No, that time will come, and when it happens, you can kiss me all the time.” Nadir swallows, his cheeks burning about what’s he going to say next. “You can do everything you want.”

“Everything.” Erik’s cheeks turn crimson too.

Nadir nods wildly.

“But, how will I know you think I deserve it?” Erik asks.

“This is about you, how you feel. I want to make you better.”

*******

Christine returns with Reza in the afternoon. Reza runs into Nadir’s arms, and Nadir embraces him tightly. It feels good to feel his son, to see he’s okay. Erik has his mask back on, nursing a cup of coffee. He sits at the dining table, watching them. Christine walks over to him, whispering something in his ear. Erik nods, and Christine’s eyes widen in shock.

“I should return to Lisa.” Nadir hears her say to Erik.

“Christine, you can have this life too.” Erik says. “You can give Lisa a good life.”

“How do you know that, how do you know if Raoul will accept Lisa? What I did to him?”

“By telling him the truth. It worked for me.” And he motions to Nadir, who is still embracing Reza. Nadir releases Reza, walking towards them. Reza follows him, his eyes lingering on Erik.

“Who is Lisa?” Nadir asks, looking between them.

Christine shakes her head. “Not your concern. You already have so much on your plate.” And she looks at Erik for good measure.

“She’s a brat.” Erik says. Christine slaps him on the shoulder.

“No, she’s not! How dare you!”

She’s clearly close to Erik and Christine, Nadir notices. More to Christine. Nadir sits next to Erik, giving him a stare, and then one to Christine. “I want to know.”

“Really, Nadir, it is not your concern.” Christine repeats.

“It surely is not Nadir’s concern, so you can go that Chagny boy and tell him the truth.” Erik is now annoyed by the subject. He takes a big sip, his eyes hard on Christine. “You know where he is.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready, Erik.” Christine admits.

“Raoul still loves you.” Nadir assures her. “He still wants you back.”

Christine sighs, shaking her head again. “I need time to think.” She again looks at Erik. “You’re really staying? You’re done with the hunting and all?”

“I guess I am. I want to stay at Nadir’s side. I mean, we got them all. Erase their memories of us. We didn’t kill them.” And the last sentence is said to Nadir, with how Erik looks at him.

Nadir feels Erik’s knee against his, and he smiles. Reza spots the smile, and raises an eyebrow in question.

*******

Nadir is lying on his spare mattress, next to the couch where Erik is sleeping. He can’t sleep in his own bed, his body shaking uncontrollably, so he decided to lie next to Erik,. He can’t comprehend how much happened the last twelve hours. Days actually. The last years have been perfectly normal, only him and his son, with the casual visit of Darius. His job (though always about Erik).

But Nadir knows his life will change. Again. It makes Nadir happy, knowing that Erik is next to him, safe and sound. Christine is back wherever Lisa is, whose identity he still hadn’t found out, or what her connection is to Raoul.

Nadir tries to sleep, but whenever he closes his eyes, images of Amir flashes through his mind, making him sweat in fear, and his body shaking. It is absurd. He barely knows him. How can that bastard have so much impact on him. He is dead. _He is dead!_

“ _No, no…_ ”

Nadir blinks, looking over his shoulder where the noise comes from. He sees Erik twitch in his sleep, his hands shaking. Sweat start to cling on his forehead. _He still has nightmares about that place_ , Nadir realizes, as he sits. He gently takes Erik’s trembling hand in both his hands, rubbing it softly.

“ _Don’t…_ ” Erik murmurs. His eyelids flutter.

“Wake up, Erik.” Nadir whispers. He wants to be gentle as possible, making Erik feel comfortable when he will wake up. He won’t make the same mistake again. “You’re safe.”

He lets Erik murmur in his sleep, and keeps rubbing his hand. He repeats that he’s safe, and to his relief, Erik’s eyes flutter open. Erik breathes heavily, his eyes shifting wildly and to Nadir’s shock, jumps up right, completely disoriented. Nadir knows quickly he’s still in his nightmare, and freezes in place.

A cold hand touches his cheek, and slowly, Nadir lifts his head up, to look into Erik’s eyes, that almost look… _not human_. Red flashes with the amber in his eyes, and Nadir takes a shaking breath. It reminds him of Amir.

“You’re afraid of me, stranger.” Erik says, so omen.

“I’m not a stranger. I know you.” Nadir answers, swallowing. He will help Erik. He said he will.

Erik frowns, like he’s not believing him. “You don’t know me.”

“I know your name…” Nadir lifts his hand slowly, his fingers barely touching Erik’s cheek. “I know that your heart has been broken by an awful woman, that she made you do awful things… but what she did to you, does not define you. I know a boy who loved music… who loved so much, showed me love when I was alone as a kid.”

Erik stays silent, his mouth slightly open, and his eyes are half closed, the red gone. “ _A boy on his bike…_ ”

“Yes,” Nadir says, hopeful. “Do you remember that boy?”

“ _He was hurt… I wanted to save him_.”

“And you did, more than you think.” Nadir puts his forehead against Erik’s, keeping his focus on him.

“ _I love him_.” And his voice is so sincere, that it warms Nadir. “ _I want to see him again_.”

“He loves you too.”

“ _He does?_ ”

“Yes.”

“ _No way… how do you know?_ ”

“I’m that boy. Wake up, _Erik Bonfils_.”

Erik watches him, his eyes still half closed, but becoming clearer. Nadir leans up, so he sits at the edge of the couch. He slides Erik’s head on his shoulder, and his hand rubs over Erik’s back. “Wake up.”

Erik groans, pressing his head deeper in the curve between Nadir’s neck and shoulder. “Did I hurt you?” he asks. His voice is much clearer too, meaning he’s awake, and Nadir gives a sigh of relief.

“No, not at all.” Nadir replies, smiling. “Only scared me a bit.”

It stays silent, and to his amazement, Nadir feels Erik relax in his arms. “Erik?” he whispers, but soon he hears little snores beneath his ear. Nadir can’t help, but press a kiss on Erik’s open neck. “Goodnight, Erik.”

Small steps.

*******

Nadir wakes up by the doorbell ringing early in the morning. He groans, leaning up but his hands touches something soft, moaning. He is wide awake when he sees Erik under him, still asleep. In his sleep he somehow got on top of Erik. Nadir doesn’t remember what happened.

The doorbell rings again.

Slowly as possible, for not to wake Erik, Nadir walks to the front door, opening it softly. Puzzled, he sees Christine, with a hoodie over her head, but her bushy hair makes it difficult to hide her face. “Come with me,” she answers, when Nadir raised both his eyebrow at her. “Put your clothes on, and come with me.”

“Where are we going?” Nadir asks, his voice sleepy.

“To Raoul, but I want someone to come with me, for if things go bad.”

“Isn’t Erik a better – no, forget that, I’ll come with you.” Nadir doesn’t want to imagine when Raoul spots Erik next to Christine. “Give me a minute.”

“Thank you, Nadir.”

Erik is still asleep, same goes for Reza, and Nadir quickly changes from his pajamas to a simple red sweater and black pants. He put his coat on, and steps outside, closing the door. Christine smiles up to him, and hooks her arm with Nadir. As if nothing has changed. The air is cold, and the sun is just rising, orange glowing over the buildings.  Nadir asks if Christine knows where Raoul stays, because he doesn’t, and she nods.

“ _Hôtel Du Louvre_ , room twelve.” She says.

Nadir whistles. “Fancy ass place. How do you know that actually?”

“You know Raoul, with his family’s old money.” Christine says, just to keep the conversation going. “And um, I think Erik rubbed off on me, for I might have… followed him when he left your apartment.”

“You guys watched us that night?”

“Yes, I’m sorry, for creeping on you like that. Edward didn’t like it either, for how he wanted to continue the job, but Erik and I were acting like a bunch of school children, seeing our crush after a long time.”

“I think Edward hates me.” Nadir confesses.

Christine laughs softly. “He does! Those last twelve years and more he got Erik’s attention all for himself, and now Erik is gone, because of a man he doesn’t know.”

Nadir realizes that Edward spend more years with Erik than him, and the ugly green monster returns in him. Christine watches him, worried. “Nadir?”

“Did Edward and Erik… ever?” Nadir doesn’t want to finish the sentence. It makes him sick just by thinking about it. Christine shakes her head wildly.

“Oh no Nadir! Erik would never – Edward attempted to, but Erik never gave him the chance or the time.” Christine hooks her arm more firm with Nadir’s. “Erik knows about Edward’s sick obsession with him, it is an obsession, believe me. But we couldn’t dump him in the middle of nowhere –”

“Why not.” Nadir mutters, hating Edward more by the second. He think back at Spain, how Edward stood closely next to Erik on the balcony. He should’ve known, dammit.

“– ‘cause his powers were useful to attract the people like Khanam.”

“His powers?” Nadir remembers how Edward’s hand morphed into an knife, and doesn’t see how that will attract people to him.

“His second power is his voice. He can change his voice. He does a good _Morgan Freeman_ impression.”

“So?”

“So, in our ‘missions’ we get to know people and their beloved ones at those high-class parties, and Edward will learn their voices. He can be a great charmer when he needs to, and attracts the people we need to erasure their memories of us.”

“You erased their memories?” Nadir asks. “With your voice?”

“Sometimes, Erik did it most of the time. I looked out for Lisa.”

There is that Lisa again, but Nadir doesn’t ask about her. “Chris… what are Erik’s second powers?”

“Illusions. That’s the only way I can explain it.” Christine replies. “But Erik doesn’t do it a lot, it takes a toll on him. One time he collapsed right in front of my eyes. I told him not to do it, but you know how stubborn he can be.”

“What did he do?”

Christine shakes her head. “He shall tell you that when you ask him. I already told you too much, but you deserve to know a little, especially Edward. _Oh, we’re here_.”

 _Du Louvre_ practically screams _money_ , and Nadir feels dirt poor just by looking at the hotel. Well, it ain’t the _Ritz_ , but Nadir thinks _Ritz’s_ prices are ridiculous anyway. They enter the hotel, warmth welcoming them. Nadir doesn’t make any eye contact with the employees, going straight to the elevators, practically dragging Christine with him. 

They arrive on the first floor, and Christine breathes heavily when they reach the door with the number twelve on it. Nadir raises his hand to knock on the door, but Christine stops him, grabbing him by the wrist. Nadir turns to her, and sees she’s ready to pass out at any moment.

“Hey, hey – it’s going to be okay.” He says, his voice soft. “Take deep breaths, like this.”

Christine takes five deep breaths, but it doesn’t seem to calm her at all.

“Raoul loves you, Christine. He will understand.” Nadir assures her, rubbing over her arms. Christine keeps shaking her head, bewildered. “Yes, he will –”

“Nadir? See, I thought I heard your voice… _Christine?_ ”

Shocked, Nadir looks over his shoulder, seeing Raoul in the doorway. His eyes are wide in shock too, his mouth open. Christine whimpers, looking down, scared. In a flash, Raoul pushes Nadir away, taking Christine in his arms, one hand on the back of her head, as the other wraps around her waist. He pulls at the hood, so her hair comes free.

Christine is frozen on the spot, her arms stiff at her sides, not knowing what to say or do.

“Nadir, you crazy son of a – _sick, my ass_! You brought her back.” Raoul draws back, glancing at Nadir quick, before he settles his gaze on Christine, smiling bright. Christine doesn’t smile back, her eyes down. Raoul senses her discomfort, and takes a step back, pulling his arms back.

“Am I going too fast? Sorry darling, I missed you so much.”

Finally Christine breaks, tears streaming over her cheeks, and she hunches over. “I’m a horrible person.” She cries. Raoul looks confused, glancing at Nadir for answers.

“Do you need me, Christine? With the talk?” Nadir asks, focusing on her comfort.

“N-no, thank you, Nadir. This is something I need to do alone. You can wait for me downstairs? Please?” Christine sniffs.

“Of course. I will see you in an hour?”

“An hour and a half?”

“Okay.”

***

Christine has been through a lot, has seen a lot in the last twelve years, but in nothing she has experienced, was she this terrified. Not even when she woke Erik up when he had a nightmare. Nothing compares to this.

Raoul places a glass of water on the little table where Christine is sitting. She mutters a thank you.

“How did Nadir find you?” Raoul speaks first. “Where were you?” he sits across her, his eyes concerned, but warm too. Christine drinks her glass empty, thinking how to approach this, buying time.

“Nadir didn’t find me.” She starts. “I saved him.”

“Huh?”

“Nadir got attacked. Erik –” she sees Raoul darken at the name. She shakes more. “– and I saved him, with Edward. Nadir was badly injured, several stab wounds on the back, it’s a miracle his lungs didn’t – okay, let’s not think about that. I healed him. Nadir told me, in his anger, that you thought I was kidnapped. He thought so too.”

Raoul stays quiet, but now looking puzzled. Christine licks her lips, looking down to her hands.

“I wasn’t kidnapped, Raoul. I went with Erik willingly.”

Christine waits for the questions, the screaming and stuff being thrown, but it stays quiet. She looks through her lashes at Raoul, and sees he looks hurt. Not mad. Hurt.

“Why?” he asks after some time. His bottom lip trembles.

Christine tells him what she told Nadir the day before. How she felt that day. What Raoul said, and what kind of impact it had on her. At the end, Raoul shakes his head slowly, his eyes still on Christine.

“I regret it so much, Raoul. If I could, change the time or something, anything! I would’ve stayed with you. Hold your hand at your brother’s funeral. I would’ve stayed by your side, be your shoulder… but I can’t. I don’t have that power.” Christine takes a deep breath, trembling as she exhales. “I know I don’t deserve you, Raoul, but I have to ask –”

A hand touches her cheek, and Christine draws back, scared. Raoul still looks hurt, tears in his eyes.

“Don’t be afraid of me.” He says. “I’m sorry I said those words. That I hurt you.”

Christine blinks, her lashes wet because of the tears. “What…”

“I shouldn’t have said that. It was wrong.”

“No, Raoul, you shouldn’t say sorry, you did nothing wrong. Oh, you stupid boy, you didn’t change at all! Always blaming yourself when you shouldn’t! Geez, but I have to ask for your forgiveness.”

“My forgiveness.”

“Yes,” Christine urges. “I don’t deserve you, and I don’t even dare to ask you to have me back, but I… I want forgiveness. Please, Raoul.”

“You can have much more than my forgiveness, Christine.” Raoul says, laying his hand on the table, his palm open. “I want you, Christine. I want you in my life.”

Christine swallows, not believing what she’s hearing. It’s too easy. “Raoul, I can’t… I’ve hurt you. Abandoned you –” she stands up, away from Raoul. “– I went with the man who killed your brother, Raoul! Yell! Be mad at me!” She is yelling. Yes, she wants emotion. She wants Raoul to be mad at her.

Raoul stands up too, walking to Christine, and she stays where’s she standing. They’re the same height. “I don’t like it, no.” Raoul says. “But you clearly beat yourself up for it, punishing yourself, all those years, you don’t need my anger too. You need my love.”

“Raoul, I ask for –”

“You have my forgiveness. Then what? You disappear again? Be alone? Because I’m sure that bastard is back with Nadir. Why don’t you deserve it?”

“I… I just don’t, Raoul, I –” she thinks about Lisa, alone in the old flat. She can give Lisa a good life. She stares in Raoul’s blue eyes, longing for her. How she missed those eyes. How she missed _him_. “Raoul, I want you.”

Raoul cups her face, his thumb sliding over her cheek. A tear spills with the pressure. “Yes, Christine, I want you too. Let me have you.”

Christine gasps when she feels Raoul’s lips on hers, and his hand on her lower back. She kisses back, build-up stress leaving her body and she leans on Raoul, deepening the kiss.

“You still look so beautiful, darling.” Raoul whispers between kisses. “I won’t let you go. Never again.”

A knock on the door interrupts them, and Raoul gives a little growl in annoyance. It makes Christine giggle. She can’t remember the last time she did that. “It’s probably Nadir.”

“Let’s ignore him.”

“ _Raoul!_ ”

“I missed you too long.” Raoul whines. “I don’t want to see him and his stupid beard when I can have you.”

“Childish! His beard suits him.”

“Guys!” Nadir yells behind the door. “Christine? I have to go, Reza just called me, and Erik is having a fit because I’m not home. Christine?” he knocks on the door again. “Are you okay?”

Christine walks to the door, Raoul groans, and opens it. A sheepish Nadir looks at her, a smile crooked up in a corner guilty. “You can go, Nadir. Everything is okay between Raoul and me.”

“That’s great! Really glad to hear that, but I have to go before he trashes my apartment. You know his temper.”

“All too well, sadly.” Christine smiles.

“I – okay, I’ll see you soon. Right? Oh Allah. I need to go!”

“Goodbye, Nadir.”

Christine watches him leave. Raoul joins her, and pulls a scowl when Nadir keeps pushing the elevator button before he has enough and takes the stairs.

“That bastard will be Nadir’s death.”

“Yes.” Christine agrees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is this Lisa?


	13. Deserving Love

“Where is he!” Erik roars, to a slightly annoyed Reza, who turns his phone off, and giving Erik a glare. Erik paces in the living room, staring at the empty mattress – which most definitely wasn’t empty last night, he remembers Nadir lying next to him. Whispering sweet words. He remembers!

 _This is a trap_ , Erik thinks. He already thought it was too easy to return in Nadir’s life. It’s been twelve years, how can Erik honestly expect Nadir to forgive him – to think he deserves this? Maybe Edward is right, and he doesn’t belong in this world. But –

“You don’t have the right to be angry at my dad.” Reza’s voice pierces through his thoughts.

Erik spins around, to look at Reza, at the boy who he saved so many years ago. He’s grown, his inky black, curled hair reach his broad shoulders, and he’s skinny, not as Erik, but skinny. Reza takes a defensive stance, his large hands on his hips. “You don’t have the right to be angry at my dad,” he repeats, now bolder. “If someone should be mad, it’s my dad. He sacrificed a lot! You,” he points to Erik. “dumped me at his lap! You were my hero for the longest time, because of what you did for me, but actually it’s my dad who saved me! He taught me to read, he taught me to write, despite having trouble with himself, so I could go to school. He somehow registered me as his son with help of my grandparents. He gave me a life!” he is yelling now, and Erik lets him, being stunned himself.

“I don’t know what kind of talk you and my dad had, but I know my dad and he is too soft! Too damn soft! When I heard you were back in Paris, I was excited first, and I will forever be grateful for what you did for me, but how you’re behaving now, I won’t accept it! Especially not to my dad! My dad does not deserve it!” Reza breathes hard, looking mad, as if he’s ready to fight.

“What does your dad deserve?” Erik asks, taking a step to Reza, and a bit of confidence slips from Reza.

“Love,” Reza says. “He deserves love.”

“And do you believe I can give that to him?”

“Honestly, yes. If you stay by my dad’s side.” Reza crosses his arms, looking firm now. “And you will stay?”

“Yes.”

“Then you better not yell when he arrives home. I called him, and he’s coming. He’s with Christine as we speak. Actually, about Christine, I know about Lisa and don’t you dare start about her to my dad. He won’t handle it. I have to ask, are you –?”

“No!” Erik barks. “Nor will I ever think about Christine in that way or touch her that way. The only intimate thing we ever did is me pulling that baby –”

The door opens, and Reza turns, seeing Nadir bursting in the hallway, looking concerned. He is panting, as if he had run the marathon, and he locks his eyes with Erik, smiling.  “I came as soon as I could,” he breathes. “What’s the matter?”

Erik quickly gives a glance to Reza, who frowns at him, and Nadir looks between them, brows raised. “Guys?”

“There’s nothing, nothing for you to worry about.” Erik says, and he walks to the couch, to tidy up the blanket. He hears a quiet “ _Huh?_ ” from Nadir, directed to Reza.

“I’m going to Amal, It’s been a while.” Reza says instead, walking to the rack to grab his winter coat. “I’m free today, and I’m taking my time to be with her. Maybe you should do the same, dad.”

“To be with Amal?”

“ _Dad!_ ”

Nadir chuckles, and Erik looks from the corner of his eye, seeing Nadir shooing Reza away. He whispers to his son, whose cheeks turn dark in color, nodding. It somehow makes Erik think back, how Nadir was with his mom, and it truly makes Erik wish he could go back in time. To the simpler times.

But he messed up.

“Hey, Erik.”

He looks up, his thoughts away, and sees Nadir next to him, an comforting smile on his attractive face. Reza is gone, and they’re alone. When did that happen? “Yes?” he says, smiling back. Reza’s words twirl in his head. _Love. He deserves love_.

“What did happen? Reza sounded very stressed on the phone, how mad you were.” Nadir asks, coming closer, his hand on Erik’s. The touch tingles, and Erik’s heart is beating hard. The touch is not new, he remembers those soft touches, a long time ago. He loved them. He still does apparently. He turns his hand, and Nadir’s fingers graces his open palm. Nadir looks down at their hands, and then up again. “Erik?”

“I overreacted.” Erik tells the truth. “I woke up and didn’t see you next to me, and I overreacted.”

“Hmm. You always did overreact, ever since we were little boys. Remember Delilah?” Nadir teases, a grin showing up. “Now I think back, you reacted quite… jealous. Did you already like me?”

“I was starting to,” Erik confesses. “Especially when you told me I was more important.”

“Allah, how old were we?”

“I was fifteen.” Erik says, and it didn’t escape him how close Nadir is standing, their thighs touching. “That makes you thirteen then.”

Nadir furrows his brows, and he raises his hand, counting his fingers. It makes Erik snort.

“Seriously? You still count on your fingers?” he says.

“Shut up, oh, it’s been twenty-one years since then, and I still think you are more important.” Nadir pushes his index finger against the nose from the mask.

“That shows that you’re still a child.” Erik jokes, ignoring the buzzing feeling in his stomach. “Like, you’re thirty-four now? Shit, we’re getting old.”

Nadir leans back, still grinning. “You’re the one with grey hair, old man.” and his grin drops a little, his eyes down to their joined hands. He sighs. “I want to talk about something. It’s about Edward.”

“Edward?” Erik says, surprised.

Nadir nods, and his hand slides up, his thumb rubbing over Erik’s wrist. “Christine told me he’s a bit obsessed with you.” He begins. “Won’t he be angry? Won’t he cause trouble for me? Us? He can easily fool with his powers.”

“Christine told you a lot, it seems.” And Erik doesn’t like it. He already planned how to deal with Edward, and he doesn’t want Nadir in the middle of it. But Christine already told about his powers and obsession, so he has to prepare Nadir. “Listen to me carefully, when you hear my voice, or any other voice outside, and it feels a bit suspicious to you, don’t follow the voice. You work with the police, don’t you? I rather want you to have your gun with you, at all times.”

“I think I can sneak my gun with me. But what about the other power? I know he can mold his hand into a knife, and his voice. Is there more?” Nadir asks, not showing any fear. Erik forgets he is a cop now.

“Not powers, but he is very quick. You should watch out for that too.” But Erik won’t let it go that far, Edward won’t lay a finger on Nadir. He won’t allow it. “But, if it’s dark, I will follow you, I’ll protect you. I know how he works and his tricks.”

“But he will know your tricks too.” Nadir brings up.

“No. He will not.” Erik assures him. “Edward is predictable, when I am not.”

“But if I meet Edward, there’s no way I stand a chance.” Nadir reminds him. “He’s a –”

“Mortal. Just like you and me. Keep your gun with you, and I can’t believe you didn’t had a gun with you  when that bastard attacked you.” Erik still can’t erase the picture of Nadir lying on the bed, swimming in blood, and how much Erik craved to kill the bastard right there.

“Even if I had a gun, it wouldn’t make a difference, he attacked me from behind.” Nadir says defensively, and his hand goes automatically to his temple, where the bruise is. That’s when Erik notices how they’re still close together, thighs touching thighs, and how Nadir only has to lift his chin up, to kiss Erik. Erik wants to bow down, press his lips against Nadir’s, taste him. But he doesn’t deserve it, and yet, he wants to give Nadir love.

He takes a step back, leaving Nadir’s warmth, missing it immediately. Nadir clearly didn’t get the message, as he follows Erik, their hips now touching. “Nadir…” he feels like his body is burning, and it’s just the simplest of touches. “No.”

“I can’t stand next to you?” Nadir asks, his voice an octave lower, and now Erik knows he’s messing with him. He leans down, his face inches away from Nadir.

“Not this close, you tease.”

Nadir’s eyes glint with mischief, and Erik already backs up, knowing his friend too well. “So, um, breakfast? It’s been a while I had something decent.”

“Sure, boiled eggs? Croissants?” Nadir passes him, his hand sliding over Erik’s lower back when he does.

A shiver goes through Erik’s spine, and he bites his lip. “Um, boiled eggs? Oh, like your mother did, she dipped them in some curry sauce?” he follows Nadir to the kitchen. Nadir grabs a pan, as he looks at Erik knowingly.

“Yes, she would boil them first, and then put them in the sauce, letting it simmer. But I think it’s not good so early in the morning, for your weak stomach, you French people can’t handle our seasoning.”

“Oh, you’re going to play it like that, I’ll let you know that I enjoyed and handled your mother’s seasoning very well.” Erik leans against the counter with his hand, up in Nadir’s face. “I loved it, okay?”

“I remember you puking when the chicken was too hot.” Nadir comments dryly. “You French people are weak.”

“Well, you Iranian people use too much seasoning and – _uh!_ ”

Nadir hits him gently on the mask with the pan he’s holding. “There’s nothing like too much seasoning.”

“Yes, there is, you idiot!” and Erik pricks his finger in Nadir’s side, not expecting him to _giggle_. He actually giggles, and it makes Erik flush at the reaction. Even Nadir blushes a bit at the sound, embarrassed.

“It’s sensitive.” He says, blush still evident on his cheeks, and he turns his head a bit, a broad smile showing. Erik leans more in Nadir’s personal space, his fingers going over the same spot. Nadir presses a fist against his lips, when another giggles escapes his mouth. “Stop it.”

Erik doesn’t, and he loves the laugh Nadir makes when he fully attacks his sides.

*******

It surprises Erik how easily he falls in his new life after that, how he adjusts quickly to sleeping next to Nadir, being surrounded by a soft mattress, sheets and a warm body next to him. No hard ground when he’s awake. The stench of the sewers doesn’t invade his mouth and nasal cavity. Maybe he is getting old.

A week has passed, and Nadir returns to his work, the same goes for Reza, though Erik has no idea what job he has. Erik stays home, and when they’re away, he may or may not snoop around, but he quickly finds out that Nadir is a boring person, not hiding anything. Though Erik did blush when he found a bottle of lube in Nadir’s nightstand drawer (and don’t let him start about Reza’s drawer). He looks more at the pictures on the wall, and when he found out where the vacuum is, he starts cleaning.

He hears nothing from Christine, and Erik is a bit concerned, wondering how it is going with the little brat especially. Will that Chagny boy know by now?

Nor does he see or hear nothing from Edward, when he follows Nadir after work. He’s making sure he’s not being seen, sticking to the shadows. When he found about Reza’s schedule (he works at an simple supermarket), he follows him too, protecting. Nadir succeeded sneaking a gun with him, and he always has it with him when he’s outside. At home, he hides it in his nightstand’s drawer.

Erik still didn’t kiss Nadir, and oh, how he wants to. Only his mind put little doubts in him, whispering how Nadir deserved so much better than him, and Erik agrees. But he stays. He stays at Nadir’s side, he lies next to Nadir in bed, sits next to him during dinner. Nadir makes him better. His nightmares getting fewer.

One night he wakes up alone, and he blinks, confused, when he doesn’t feel a warm body next to him. He sits upright, rubbing his eyes. He crawls out of bed, pulling a shirt on and walks out the bedroom, searching for Nadir. He finds him in the living room, on the couch, laptop in his lap. He’s scrolling through a website, not focusing on anything, so Erik can’t read what he’s searching for.

“What are you doing out of bed?” Erik asks.

Nadir turns, in shock. He slams the laptop shut, and he plasters a fake smile on his face quickly. “Well, obviously I can’t sleep.” He answers. He puts the laptop on the table, and he stands up. Erik sighs. When will Nadir learn he can’t lie?

“Something is troubling you.” Erik says, and he noticed too in the last past week. There are bags under Nadir’s eyes, he’s looking exhausted, and sometimes he will nod off during dinner. “ _Tell me_.” He hates using his power on Nadir, but he wants to know. He wants to help too.

“Allah, Erik… I have been attacked, being stabbed and sleeping in that bed, it doesn’t exactly ring happy memories to me. I have the feeling he’s watching me, still, and knowing that Edward is the one who dealt with him, I can’t help but think he’s still alive.”

“I assure you, despite our feelings towards Edward, that Edward  won’t let a Khanam live. He is dead.”

“But this feeling…”

Erik grits his teeth in anger. Even when she is dead, gone from his life, she still knows how to haunt him. Not only him, but Nadir now too, with her goddamn son. “I know how you feel,” he says, and he wishes it wasn’t so. “She still haunts me too.”

“Do you see her when you close your eyes?” Nadir asks. “I see him when I do.”

“It’s getting less,” Erik confesses, and Nadir looks surprised. “I still have nightmares, and I have times where I just want to be alone, but I see change, not great ones, but change.”

“That’s great, Erik.” Nadir smiles again, this time reaching his eyes. Erik walks past the couch, standing beside Nadir, but giving him enough space. Nadir watches him, curious.

“I um, do you remember the ball?” Erik says. “Back in Rouen?”

Nadir nods slowly. “Yes. I can’t believe I didn’t recognize you. Well, I did think you were dead.”

“Do you remember when I asked for your company, and you thought I was asking for a dance?”

“Yes, but where are you going with this –”

Erik reaches his hand out, his palm open, in Nadir’s direction. “Can I have this dance, sir?” Even in the dark, Erik can see Nadir blushing hard, shaking his head in bewilderment.

“N-No, come on, we’re grown men – and there’s no music – and Reza –” he stammers, seeking excuses not to dance. Erik doesn’t let him win.

“Reza’s asleep, and what if we’re grown men? I want to dance with you.” He wants Nadir to forget, even for a couple of minutes. “And for the music part, imagine it.”

“But, can you dance? I –”

“ _Nadir!_ ”

 Nadir sighs, seeing defeat. “I hope you don’t mind me being in pajamas, my good sir.” He plays along. He takes the hand, and Erik pulls him in, leading away from the couch. They stand in the open space between the kitchen and the living room, the Persian carpet warm under their feet. Nadir looks nervous, especially when Erik puts his hand on his lower back, their hips touching.

“I don’t mind at all, sir, so long you don’t mind mine.”

Nadir smiles, his eyes closed. Erik sways his hips a bit, and begins to hum a song he remembers from a long time ago. Nadir is stiff in the first minute,  still warming up to the idea he’s dancing with Erik, before he wraps his arms around Erik’s neck, laying his head on Erik’s chest. Erik keeps humming, as he twirls, Nadir moving with him perfectly. He hears Nadir softly laugh against his chest.

“Where did you learn to dance?” Nadir whispers. His arms slide down, resting on Erik’s lower back.

“I’m just pretending. I know you have to sway your hips, and sometimes twirl, like in the movies.”

Nadir laughs again, a deep rumble,  and Erik delights in it. He twirls again, but this time it doesn’t go as smooth, as Nadir’s hips bumps against the couch, and Erik almost stumbles. They both laugh softly, and Erik holds on Nadir, for not to fall.

“This is so stupid.” Nadir says, still a smile on his face, dimples showing. _God, he’s beautiful_ , Erik thinks. He feels Nadir trying to move, wanting to dance, but Erik doesn’t budge. He keeps staring at Nadir, his childhood friend, who kept waiting for him. Caring about him, despite what he did, still loving him.

“Erik, you need to –”

Erik doesn’t think, and for once he’s glad he doesn’t, and he presses his lips on Nadir’s, cutting him off mid-sentence. His lips are pressed in a corner, almost missing Nadir’s lips, all clumsy. He angles better, kissing again. Nadir’s eyes are wide, full of surprise, and then closes softly, happy. He kisses back, soft and hesitant, as if he’s new to it. But Erik knows he isn’t.

But again, it’s been a very long, _long_ time.

Nadir’s lips are soft and warm, and his beard tickles Erik’s skin. Erik sags against Nadir, pushing him against the couch, as Nadir wraps one arm around Erik’s neck, pulling him down. Their lips press firmer against each other’s, and Erik cups Nadir’s face.

Nadir slips one hand under the back of Erik’s shirt, Erik shivers, feeling the warm palm on his back, the thumb rubbing soothingly. Nadir whispers his name, rapidly, soft breaths on Erik’s lips. He kisses Erik again, this time loudly, his hand going further up, palm between shoulder blades. Nadir licks Erik’s bottom lip, wanting access to Erik’s mouth.

Erik opens his mouth hesitantly, his hands sliding down, resting on Nadir’s chest. Their tongues brush only for a couple of seconds, before Nadir pulls back, panting. He grins wide sudden, pulling his arm back, so he can wrap both his arms around Erik’s waist, lifting him up, twirling. Erik gives a soft yell in surprise.

“Allah, I want to stay in this moment.” Nadir says, as he stops. Erik plants his feet back on the floor, a bit dizzy, but the good kind. Erik shares the same feeling, peppering kisses over Nadir’s face, pressing a firm one on the corner of his left eye. The soft thoughts of doubt come back in his mind, but he pushes them away, wanting to feel Nadir’s lips again.

“I’m an idiot, I’m an idiot.” He repeats over and over, and Nadir raises an brow lazily, amused. “For leaving you, leaving this behind, I could have this all the time.”

Nadir surges up, crashing his lips with Erik’s again, their kiss heated. Erik has his hand in Nadir’s hair, other on his hip, while Nadir claws his hands on Erik’s sides. They probably kiss for minutes, hours, they don’t know, their lips only leaving each other to breathe. Nadir never asks why he deserves it, though Erik did have an answer, and he wants Nadir to know.

“Nadir,” he pants, and he looks at Nadir, his lips red and swollen. “This may sound silly, the reason why I kissed you –” another kiss, soft and quick. “– is because you are happy.” A kiss, but hesitant now, Nadir raising his brows.

“No, Erik no… shit, did I pressure you? No, I thought you would kiss me if you feel you deserve it.”

“Seeing you happy, because of me, I have to say, it feels deserving to me.”  

Nadir sighs, but a smile creeps on his face again. “Roohami.” He falls back to his native language.

“Divounatam.”

There’s the giggle again, and Erik can’t help but kiss Nadir again.

***

“Hm, dad? Did you sleep at all last night?” Reza asks worried the next morning, before shoving a spoonful of cereal in his mouth. Erik sees Nadir nodding off, a smile on his face, but tired. Erik slides his arm over Nadir’s shoulders, his thumb rolling against Nadir’s tired muscles. Nadir looks at him, rolling his eyes.

“It’s okay,” He yawns, glancing back to Reza. “I only have to do paperwork today, not actual police work. Maybe I’ll be free early and get some decent sleep.”

Reza swallows, his eyes narrowing on his dad and then on Erik. “Yeah, decent sleep.” He says drawly.

“I’ll should be going. You have work today too, Rez?” Nadir pushes himself from the table, chair scraping the floor, and Erik retreats his arm.

“Yes, after work I’ll be going to Amal. Don’t wait on me.” Reza stands up, stretching his body.

“Stay at her place. I don’t want you walking on the street so late.” Nadir follows Reza to the hallway, and Erik is right behind his heels.

Reza snorts. “I’m twenty years old, dad.” He puts his bomberjack on, staring at Nadir.

“I don’t care. Stay there.”

“Dad –”

“Listen to your father, Reza.” Erik butts in, his voice firm. He shares the same feeling as Nadir, he doesn’t like the idea of Reza walking late when there’s potential that Edward will kill him. He really should work on him. 

“Fine! I’ll stay, for some reason I don’t want to know.”

Nadir puts his coat on. “It’s not like that.” He turns to Erik, smile on his face. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours.” He stands on his toes, giving a kiss on the lips. “Bedrood, eshgham.”

“Eshgham? Mish tekrar konid?”

“Eshgham.” Nadir repeats, smiling in the kiss.

“This is really gross, I’m going.” Reza says behind them, opening the door. “ _Dad! Let’s go!_ ”

“Man bayad beravam, aziz-am.”

“Doset daram.” Erik whispers.

Nadir kisses again, lingering, before he finally follows his son outside, closing the door behind him. Erik gives a big sigh, his body warm and happy, before he goes to the bedroom, searching through Nadir’s clothes. He finds a black hoodie – what are the chances? – and puts it over his shirt.

He has a job to do.

***

**_10.23.1993 [past]_ **

****

_“You filthy monkey! Go back to the country you come from! My mom said you’re not welcome here!”_

_There were children laughing, hateful, and Erik pushed the gate open, curious to what was going on. His mother didn’t like him leaving the ground, but he needed to know what was happening outside the gate, what they were laughing about. He saw a group of children of his age looming over one small boy, who clearly was crying, big tears falling over his cheeks._

_One of the boys in the group grabbed him, pulling him up from the muddy ground, but the small boy bit him in his arm. The bully gave a yell in pain, and pushed the boy back on the ground, mud caking his ebony skin. The boy cried loudly now, echoing on the hill. That was when Erik had enough._

_He grabbed one of the many stones that are scattered around the gate, and ran up the hill, passing the boy, ready to throw. The group spotted him quickly, jumping back on their own bikes, riding off before he could reach them._

_He threw the rock nonetheless. “And stay away!” he yelled, his chest heaving up and down in anger. He turns calmly to the boy, who stood up in the meanwhile, and his eyes were big in fear, looking at his face – no, his mask. His mother warned him about this._

_“I will do you no harm.” Erik said, hoping that the boy will believe him. He gave the boy some space, showing he means it. The boy shook his head, and Erik’s hopes dropped, fearing he will be alone again._

_“I can’t understand language.” The boy says, his voice accent heavy. But Erik understood._

_He does not live here long then, he thinks. He nodded to the boy, placing his hand on his chest. “I’m Erik.”_

_The boy gave a little frown, as if he was thinking about what Erik just said.  “My name…  Nadir.” he replied eventually. His face softening, mud still caking his hair, clothes and skin._

_“Nice to meet you, Nadir.” Erik said, a bit too excited, but Nadir wasn’t running away, or screaming in terror! His mother said that people from the village would scream if they saw him. He took one step to Nadir, carefully, and Nadir stood where he was, not moving an inch._

_“Az molaghat-e shomâ khosh vaghtam!” he said, smiling, all teeth, and Erik saw he was missing a tooth in the front. Erik smiled back, though he had no idea what Nadir just said._

_“Erik? Erik!”_

_Erik saw his mother running up the hill, pulling her dress up so it won’t get dirty in the mud. Her face was a mix of anger and relief. She gave Nadir a quick glance, not giving too much attention. “What did I say! Don’t pass the gate! People will talk!”_

_“But, they were hurting him!” Erik said, pointing to Nadir. “They said nasty stuff!”_

_“That’s not my concern! Come on now,” she grabbed Erik’s arm, pulling him away from Nadir, who stared, saying stuff in his native language, more directed to his mother._

_“Bebakhshid! Bebakhshid!” he repeated over and over, wanting her attention. “Lotfan!”_

_But his mother doesn’t listen, dragging Erik away, and Nadir followed with his bike. Erik looked over his shoulder to him, raising his hand, waving goodbye. They passed the gate, and his mother closes it, releasing Erik’s arm. Nadir stood behind the gate, and Erik immediately went to him. His mother barked at him to come inside the house. Erik ignored her._

_“Will I see you again?” he asked quickly, patting his chest and then, with hesitation, on Nadir’s. “See you again?”_

_“Mishe ahesteh tar sohbat konid?” Nadir’s eyes looked pleading._

_“Erik! Come inside!” she walked back to him._

_“See you again?” Erik repeated, almost begging. He wanted a friend, and this boy didn’t scream in his presence. He wasn’t afraid of him!_

_Nadir’s eyes widened in understanding, and he nodded excitedly. “Baleh! Ah, yes! Yes! T-Tomorrow!”_

_Erik smiled, before he again got dragged away, inside the house. Nadir waved to him. “Bedrood!”_

_“Bed… Bedrood!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this little fluff chapter. Treasure it. Cuz the next chapters will be wild.
> 
> Translations:
> 
> Roohami - My soul  
> Divounatam - I'm crazy about you  
> Bedrood, Eshgham - Goodbye, my love  
> Eshgham - My love  
> Man bayad beravam, aziz-am - I have to go, dear  
> Doset Daram - I love you  
> Az molaghat-e shomâ khosh vaghtam - Pleased to meet you  
> Bebakhshid - Excuse me!  
> Lotfan - Please  
> Mishe ahesteh tar sohbat konid? - Can you talk slower?  
> Baleh - Yes


	14. The man who plays with fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. Alright. *takes a deep breath* Warnings for this chapter: smut, violence and um, plot twist? If you didn't figure it out already. Seriously, be prepared. But, if you want to yell at me after this chapter, here's my tumblr: dunkinphantom.tumblr.com

**12.24.2019 [present]**

 

Nadir definitely can get used to this, as he burrows his face in Erik’s chest, inhaling his sharp scent. They’re alone, with Reza having a night shift, but he’ll be home soon, safe and sound. The television is on, but he isn’t paying any attention to it, and neither does Erik, who has his eyes closed, napping lightly. Nadir slides his body up more, over Erik’s, and leans up to kiss Erik’s lips softly.

Erik stirs, his lips moving at the touch, and his eyes flutter open, watching him. Ever since that night, Nadir takes every opportunity when they’re alone, to kiss Erik, to catch up with lost times. He whispers many times how much he loves him, and Erik does the same. Erik told him about searching for Edward, but not succeeding so far. In the meanwhile Nadir told Reza about Edward, and that he should be more careful. Reza was shocked at the news, but he promised to watch out more.

Nadir did succeed to keep Erik a secret on his work, no one suspected a thing (not that Nadir expected them to question everything about his personal life suddenly), and when Darius wanted to visit, Erik will go out to search for Edward further.

Edward. Nadir grunts a bit, irritated. The idea he can attack any moment doesn’t please Nadir at all, and he wishes Edward is gone. Gone from this life. Their life. He doesn’t want Edward to take Erik away. He doesn’t want Edward near Erik –

Nadir crashes his lips on Erik’s, desiring, and Erik makes the sweetest sounds of desperation. He glides his hand through Nadir’s curly hair, playing. He moans loudly under Nadir, arching his back, his hips up against Nadir’s. Nadir sucks on Erik’s bottom lip, biting after, although he wants to suck on something else –

The door opens. Erik and Nadir spring apart, Nadir flushing a deep red and Erik strokes his shirt smooth.

“Dad!” comes Reza’s voice from the hallway. “Did you follow me just now?”

Nadir frowns, his arousal gone immediately, in fear. “No. Why?”

“I swear, I heard your voice when I left work, but I’m afraid it was... Edward.” Reza enters the living room, and he raises an brow at Nadir. “What happened to your hair?”

“That bastard!” Erik yells as he jumps up, and Nadir doesn’t get the chance to say something, as he grabs his coat and leaves the apartment with a slam of the door. Reza looks stunned.

Nadir sighs, patting the seat next to him. His son sits next to him, his hands clasped together, worry in his eyes, and he looks like he wants to say something. “Dad,” he says eventually. “I want to help too. I can use my powers.”

“You will not use your powers in public!” Nadir hisses, warning him. “Just live up to the public eye, and come home after work. Don’t follow any voices that will lead you in an alleyway.”

“So, what is Erik doing now? Won’t he use his powers?”

“I believe not, and even so, his powers are not that noticeable.”

Reza nods. “But I want to help, please understand. Erik saved me, you saved me. I want to do the same for you.”

Nadir smiles, his heart swelling with love for his son. “You’ll do me a great favor by just staying safe. If Edward attacks, run, don’t attack. I don’t want you exposed for your powers. Call me immediately, Erik and I will come.”

Reza sighs, defeated. “We’ll see how it goes.”

Erik returns after an hour, saying he checked the area but couldn’t find Edward. He tells Nadir how Edward is getting smarter, that he underestimated him. The rest of the evening is quiet, though Erik sometimes looks outside the window, inspecting the streets.

Nadir is itchy too, especially now he knows Edward is after his son. He will kill Edward before he gets the chance to touch his son or Erik. The hatred he has for Edward consumes him; he wants him dead. The thought that Edward spent more years with Erik, even attempting to touch Erik in a sexual way, makes his blood boil. Again.

Reza went to bed early, and Nadir goes to the bathroom, emptying his bladder before taking a shower. He’s just washing his hair when the door opens, and he sees through the glass Erik walking in. Nadir is a bit surprised at his appearance, so he quickly rinses his hair. He rubs the water out his eyes, so he can look at Erik again, who is undressing. His heart makes a jump, and Nadir watches his back, still painted with scars. His eyes drop to the curve of Erik’s ass, and he bites his lip. His stomach tightens, and he feels excitement in his chest. He tries to calm himself; he’s not a teenager anymore!

Maybe Erik wants to share a shower with him, many normal couples do that and – Nadir feels arms around his waist, and lips against the back of his neck. Nadir swallows, nervously. “Erik –”

Erik takes Nadir’s hand in his own, rubbing his thumb softly over the back. Nadir looks over his shoulder, raising an brow in question at Erik.

“Your son will be okay. I’ll make sure of that. I’ll protect you too with my life.” Erik says, assuring. Nadir’s chest tightens now too at Erik’s words, and a pool of warmth nests in his stomach, arousal rising. Erik raises his hand, the one still holding Nadir’s hand, placing it on his cheek. Nadir watches him, longingly, and he leans up to kiss Erik. His lover meets him halfway, pressing his lips on Nadir’s eagerly. When Nadir pulls back, Erik moves with him, his chest against Nadir’s back, giving another kiss. Nadir smiles.

“And, I want to make love to you.” Erik leans down, kissing his bearded jaw. “If I may? Please?”

His voice may sound confident, but Nadir feels his body shaking, the hand on his hip especially. Nadir turns, cocking his head up, seeing how insecure Erik looks. “You may,” he answers, cheekily. “After I finish my shower.”

Erik blinks, amazed, and then he smiles wide, a bit shy, ducking his head. His hand trembles harder.

“Calm down, eshgham.” Nadir says, taking his hand. “I’ll be good to you. Come here, let me wash your back.”

They shower quickly, the nerves hitting Nadir now too, remembering it’s been far too long. In the twelve years without Erik, Nadir never slept with anyone, far too busy with life. Nor did he had any desire to be with someone. The thought of someone else touching him grosses Nadir out.

They dry off their bodies, not even bothering to put on clothes and Nadir prays that Reza is already asleep. They walk to the bedroom, living room dark and curtains closed so no one can see them. Nadir is holding Erik’s hand, not that he has to, they both know where the bedroom is, but he needs to _feel_ Erik.

The door of the bedroom shuts behind them, and Nadir is pressed against the door immediately, Erik’s lips crashing on his. It is light first, tasting, before they’re devouring each other, hungry. Nadir slides his arms over Erik’s neck, holding him down, while Erik’s hands wander down. He rubs his thumbs over Nadir’s hips, and then his hands are on Nadir’s ass, his fingers kneading in the flesh. Nadir gasps into the kiss, his hips arching down, into Erik’s hands. Erik watches him, his eyes half-lidded, questioning.

“I… I like that.” Nadir admits, blushing.

Erik lifts an brow up, cocky. His fingers knead again, teasingly,  and Nadir can’t help but smile. He rests his head on the curve between Erik’s neck and shoulder, to hide his smile. Erik’s nabs on Nadir’s ear, his hot breath on him. It tickles Nadir, and a burst of giggles escape him. “Erik!” he hisses, and he tries to be harsh, but it’s hard when Erik in return licks underneath the jaw, sucking on the skin. “Erik…” he moans now, and he grinds his hips now, his erection against Erik’s. “Oh, it’s been too long.”

Erik chuckles, deep and low. Nadir’s cock stirs at the sound, and Nadir whimpers. He slides his arms from Erik’s neck, his hands going over Erik’s chest to his abdomen, and then he feels Erik’s cock, hot and hard. Erik inhales sharply, his eyes boring into Nadir’s, begging. He doesn’t have to say anything, Nadir already knows, and he pushes Erik until his knees hit the bed. Erik sits down, and he looks at Nadir, nervous again. Nadir kneels down, on the cold floor, bringing him down to Erik’s cock, who stands erect.

Erik spreads his legs a bit, and Nadir looks up to him, as he licks the underside of the cock, bottom to top. He sucks on the head softly, and Erik gives a low moan above Nadir. Nadir searches with his hand and he finds Erik’s hand, placing it on top of his head. Erik makes a noise, and his fingers curl in Nadir’s hair, tugging. Nadir moans, when he tongues the slit, savoring the salty taste. He opens his mouth wider and swallows down, accepting the cock with ease. His lips stretches, the cock heavy on his tongue and Nadir loves it.

He bobs his head up and down, sucking and hollowing his cheeks. When his jaw starts to tire, it reminds him again how long it has been. He pulls back, licking the head, his eyes up to watch Erik. His lover has his eyes closed, his mouth open, soft moans escaping pass his lips. Nadir rolls his tongue over the head, tasting the pre-cum. Erik bites his lip, his eyes flutter open, burning with passion, and he tugs again at the hair.

Nadir moans at the rough treatment, pressing his lips against the spit slicked cock, still staring. Then he clambers up, into Erik’s lap, and kisses him, claiming. Erik whines into the kiss, desperate, and Nadir grins, so Erik is more kissing his teeth than actual lips. Erik pulls back, giving him a dazed look. Nadir shifts, pushing Erik on the bed, straddling his hips. The bed creaks under their weight, and Nadir leans up, taking a nipple in his mouth, sucking.

Erik gasps, his hips bucking, and Nadir feels his cock against his ass. Erik digs his fingers in Nadir’s thighs, pushing him up, so Nadir has no choose but to crawl up, his lips crashing on Erik’s. He makes a confused sound when Erik rolls him over, lying between his legs now. He especially raises his brows when Erik leans over to the nightstand, grabbing the bottle of lube from the drawer.

“Someone has been snooping around the house.” He drawls, amused.

Erik doesn’t answer him, peppering kisses under his jaw, and then he finds a spot so sensitive that Nadir lets a mewl, his back arching and head thrown to the side, so Erik has more access. His legs spread wider, wanting, and Nadir is so focused on Erik’s lips on his skin, that his toes curl in delight when he feels Erik’s slicked fingers on his hole, pressing.

“One finger first, Erik, eshgham.”

But Erik doesn’t hear him, and Nadir bites his lip hard when he feels two fingers intruding at once. He moans long, trying to keep deep breaths but gasps when he feels Erik’s lips again on his skin, distracting. It does not _hurt_ , but it’s too much. “Erik, Erik…” he breathes, getting in a better position, Erik’s fingers getting deeper.

“I love you,” Erik mutters, looking up, into Nadir’s emerald eyes. Nadir squirms at his words, rocking back at Erik’s fingers. “My first love, I have never loved anyone else…” Erik curl his fingers inside Nadir, and Nadir groans, overwhelmed by what he is feeling. “And I’ll love no one else, except you, only you.”

The confession steals the air from Nadir’s lungs, and Nadir wants to respond, saying the feeling is mutual, that it means everything to him, but only moans come out his mouth. More lube is added, and another finger plunges in, making Nadir a mess.

He really prays Reza is asleep.

“E-Erik!” he throws his neck back, slamming his hand over his mouth, muffling his sounds. His other hand grips the sheets under him. Erik stretches him nicely, and Nadir sees him watching how his fingers go in and out, in and out. Nadir’s cock leaks pre-cum, droplets falling on his stomach. “Erik, do you know how much I wanted this, to feel you in me, for you to love me.” He breathes, pulling his hand away from his mouth.

A moan bubbles up in Erik, and he leans down, his lips wandering over Nadir’s skin again. He retreats his fingers, shifting his body up, and slicking his cock with lube. Nadir moans wantonly, arching his hips up, wanting. Erik holds his cock, pushing against the rim, the head slipping in. Nadir holds his breath, preparing for the pain, but he’s surprised when he enjoys it, being filled.

Erik is big in him, filling him to the brim, and Nadir hisses when their hips flush together, entirely full. Erik’s eyes are wide, as if he can’t believe it, and frankly, Nadir is surprised too. He binds his legs around Erik’s hips, his cock going even deeper. “ _Yesss_ …” He moans.

Erik slides back a bit, before thrusting back, slowly, testing. Nadir shakes his head, wanting more, craving Erik. But Erik seems to like the rhythm they have, thrusting soft and gently, too soft. Too slow.

“Eshgham, I need you to go faster, I’m not fragile.” He rocks his hips, back against Erik’s thrust, and clenches around him. Erik chokes. “Yeah, like that… _give me_ , I know you can be harder.”

Erik holds his hips tight, shoving back until he almost can pull out but snaps back, and a growling moan slips Nadir. Erik doesn’t stop there, not giving Nadir time to breathe, skin slapping skin rapidly, and Nadir feels like he’s in heaven. He sneaks his hand up, to grab his cock, stroking it with the same speed as the thrusts, but Erik slaps his hand away.

“You will,” he grunts, as he lifts Nadir’s legs up, against his shoulder. “come in my mouth, down my throat.”

It’s a fucking miracle Nadir didn’t come right then, shivering at Erik’s tone of voice. Erik sees that, and smirks, his confidence growing. “You’ll like that, don’t you?” Erik bends down, so Nadir’s knees touch his chest, and Nadir gasps for air. The headboard slams against the wall, bed creaking underneath them and Nadir howls Erik’s name when he hits his prostate _finally_.

“I’m so close, Nadir, dear…” Erik groans, his hips slapping harder but also stuttering.

“Ah, yes, Allah… come inside me.”

Erik makes a choked noise in the back of his throat, closing his eyes and Nadir feels him come, painting his insides white with his cum. Erik rocks his hips though his orgasm, before he pulls back gently. Nadir groans, willing his heartbeat to go slower but it speeds up as he sees Erik shifting. He plants his feet back on the bed, legs wide for Erik, who without warning, swallows his cock down. Nadir howls again, his hips arching, and Erik rises with it. Erik’s mouth is hot, and tight around his cock, tongue swirling.

Like Nadir, he bobs his head up and down, his eyes open, watching Nadir. He’s eager, humming even, and he pulls back with a ‘pop’, then tongues his slit, licking the pre-cum. “Taste good.” he murmurs, before sucking again. It doesn’t take long for Nadir to come, and he rest his hand on top of Erik’s head. Erik stills, breathing heavily through his nasal cavity, and Nadir doesn’t warn, coming deep.

Erik swallows every drop, not spilling. He hums again, giving a last suck (which makes Nadir gasp) and sits upright, a content smile on his face. Nadir snorts at his expression, rolling his eyes. He’s too tired to sit up, and he doesn’t mind to fall asleep like this. Reza never comes in his bedroom.

Erik lies next to him, arm over Nadir’s waist, still smiling. “Who knew you had such a perverted mouth.”

“Pot calls the kettle.” Nadir replies. Erik kisses his temple, and he turns his head away. “Don’t kiss me with that filthy mouth of yours.”

Erik braces on his elbow, looming over Nadir, a mischievous grin on his face. Nadir shakes his head in warning, but he grins too when Erik kisses him. He tastes himself on Erik’s tongue, and something burns, a low pit in his stomach. He looks at Erik, who stares back, his amber eyes big. Nadir rest his hand on Erik’s cheek, admiring.

“I love you too, Erik.” Nadir says. Erik blinks in confusion. “I… I want you. I’m... –”

Erik places his hand on Nadir’s, smiling. “I know, Nadir. You give me too much. Your heart is too big.”

Nadir is in shock when he sees tears in the corners of Erik’s eyes, “What’s wrong, eshgham?”

“Nothing, dear, I’m just very happy right now. I want this to never end.”

Nadir smiles, leaning on his elbows, as he kisses Erik, slow and full of love. “No one will stand in our way.”

*******

_Flames almost lick his skin, sweat rolls down his face and Nadir feels the smoke choking him. “Erik!” he wants to run up the stairs, head to Erik’s bedroom, but the fire is too heavy. “Erik!” he yells again. He pushes the door to the music room, at least, that’s what he thought, but he stumbles in the kitchen of the Chagny villa._

_The fire is just as hot, but it makes Nadir stop, and turn around. He watches the old house from Erik, wood crashing down, flames spattering everywhere. Then he turns again, watching the Chagny villa burning down, with the same intensity Who caused these fires?_

_A hand slams on his shoulder, burning hot, and Nadir screams in pain, sinking to his knees. He gets kicked in the side, and Nadir falls on his back, groaning. A boot presses on his chest, with full weight, and Edward looms over him, a satisfied grin on his attractive face._

_“I should’ve killed you that night. I told her I heard someone.” He says. “But I guess I have to do it now.”_

_Nadir gasps for air as Edward presses harder. Smoke invades his lungs, and he coughs loudly. All too familiar._

_“If you’re dead, Erik will come to me! He will! He choose me over you, and he will do it again! I give him what a man really needs! He’ll open his legs for me all the time, begging for my cock. He spend more than nineteen years with me! I know what he can do – he will choose me! Yes, yes, he will choose me!” his face turns more insane, a grin so wide that it must hurt. “He always belonged to me! Since day one!”_

_He shakes his hand, morphing into a dagger now. “He will choose me!” and he strikes his hand –_

“Nadir!”

Nadir wakes up, his feet kicking, thrashing the covers. Two hands hold him steady, and Nadir opens his eyes, panting. His body is trembling, feeling cold, and tears drip over his cheeks. Erik comes in view, his amber eyes concerned, and that’s what Nadir brought back in reality. “Dear,” Erik whispers. “What happened?”

“I… A bad dream.” Nadir sniffs, swiping the tears away. “It was Edward.”

“Oh,” Erik presses his forehead against Nadir’s, still concerned. “Want to tell me?”

“He spoke in riddles I didn’t understand. In my dream he spoke like he knew me, as in, before I knew him. But it’s just a stupid dream. Everything he said doesn’t mean anything.”

“Still,” Erik lifts a hand, thumbing away a new tear on Nadir’s cheek. “What he said must’ve upset you.”

Nadir is deciding if he should tell Erik or not. He doesn’t want to sound like a broken record, about his insecurities.  “He… He said you will choose him over me.”

“Did I not prove enough?” Erik’s voice sounds hurt, and Nadir wishes he kept his mouth shut. “You still doubt me?”

“No, Erik, it was just a stupid dream. I am convinced, okay. You’ll stay with me, right? Come on, eshgham, let’s sleep again. Sorry for waking you.” He gives little pecks on Erik’s cheek, smiling. It does seem to ease Erik, though his eyes still look far away, if he’s thinking about something. Nadir sighs, and he slides down, forehead against Erik’s shoulder. “Please, Erik. Don’t think too much about it, it’s just a dream! I know you love me.”

“Yes… Yes, Erik loves you.” Erik growls. “Only you. Didn’t Erik tell you that?”

“Yes, you did, many times. I love you too.” Nadir manages to push Erik back on his back. He lays his head on Erik’s chest, sighing again. Erik plays with his hair, which makes Nadir more relax. His eyes flutters closed.

“Erik only loves you. You’re my only love.”

With those words, Nadir falls asleep again.

*******

When he wakes again, he expects Erik to be gone, to be alone, but he’s mistaken. Fingers trail his right cheek, and soft lips touch his, full of love. Nadir responds, kissing back, not caring much about morning breath. He opens his eyes slowly, seeing Erik next to him.

“How are you feeling now?” Erik whispers.

Events of last night come back to him, the nightmare about Edward, his words, and instead of feeling fear, he feels angry. He sighs. “We should look for him, Erik. Soon as possible.”

“I know, and I will look for him, not you.”

“But he knows you, Erik, better than we thought. He doesn’t know me.” At least, that’s what he thought.

“I won’t put you in danger. You’re not a fighter.  Dear, yesterday, I shouldn’t have reacted like that, you won’t abandon Erik, you’re not like Erik.”

Nadir’s brows knit in a frown, disapproving. “Don’t mistake me, Erik, you saw what I did to Khanam. If you didn’t stop me, I would’ve killed him. I’ll do everything to protect my family.”

“Am I – am I part of your –”

“Don’t ask stupid questions. You’re my lover, so of course.” Nadir retreats from the bed, wanting to go to the bathroom. He pulls his boxers on, and a shirt. He hears Erik kicking the covers away and he looks over his shoulder, his hand on the doorknob. Erik’s eyes flashes, full of desire, and Nadir turns in time when Erik is on him, crashing his lips with Nadir’s, slipping his tongue.

Nadir moans, brushing his tongue with Erik’s, desperate. Erik presses him against the door, his full body against his, and that’s when Nadir’s bladder is pressing, begging for release. “Eshgham, I need to pee.”

Erik pulls back, blinking, and then snorts. “I’m sorry, dear.”

He releases Nadir, who runs to the bathroom, taking a leak. When he walks back, he sees Reza at the dining table, still in his pajamas, yawning. “Morning, son.” He says. “No work today?”

“Nah, I’m free today. It’s Christmas, dad.”

“But we don’t celebrate it?” Nadir raises an brow.

“I know, but they don’t know and I want my free day too. Also, dad,” Reza pulls on the collar of his pajama shirt and then pointing at Nadir’s. “You might want to cover it when you go to work.”

“What – ?” Nadir tries to look what’s wrong but sees nothing, but then he remembers the hickey’s Erik gave him last night. He blushes crimson, and he glances away, embarrassed that his son caught him like this. “I’m… I’m gonna change clothes.”

Reza laughs when Nadir skips back to his bedroom. Erik is just putting _his_ red sweater on, looking so small in it, and Nadir _wants_. No. He needs to go to work. Erik put his mask on, then looks at Nadir, smiling. “You have to go to work?”

“Yes, I need to put food on the table, eshgham.” Nadir changes clothes, trading his shirt for a sweater with a turtleneck. He sees Erik still staring at him, pure adoration in his eyes. “What?”

“Enjoying the view.” Erik says, his eyes glinting.

Nadir snorts, and he leans in Erik’s space, kissing him quick. They both have breakfast together, with Reza making scrambled eggs, before Nadir goes to work. He kisses Erik at the door, and waves to Reza, who returns the gesture. _His family_.

With that thought, and his heart jumping in joy, he walks to his work. It snows, and it crunches underneath Nadir’s shoes. The streets are empty, most people celebrating Christmas, and Nadir has no care in the world. For once, he feels great, a broad smile on his face, and that’s when he doesn’t notice. With his head deep in fantasies, fantasizing a future with Erik and his son, with Erik seeing Reza as his son too. Their son.

That’s when the black van shows up, on the corner of the street, just when Nadir wants to cross the street. He stops, his thoughts disturbed, and he frowns, looking up. His eyes widen, blood running cold when he spots Edward behind the wheel, a grin on his face. Just like in the dream.

Nadir’s hand immediately swifts to his inside pocket, and to his horror, he doesn’t feel his gun. He forgot!

The door of the van opens with slam, and someone with black ski mask on his face appears. Nadir turns quickly, but the stranger is faster, hooking his arm around Nadir’s neck, pulling in. Nadir struggles, and he tries to elbow the stranger in his sides, but he avoids it with ease. Nadir chokes but he manages to yell for help, but the streets are empty.

The stranger throws him in the van, jumping right behind him, closing the door shut. Nadir crawls up, trying to attack, but it is useless as the stranger hits him in the face, almost knocking him out. “Tie his arms! Use the rope!” Edward barks from the front.

Nadir’s arms gets pulled on his back, and Nadir is too dizzy to fight back. He feels the rope cutting his wrists, and he hisses. He kicks, and he hits the stranger against his thigh. “You son of a bitch, stay still!” the voice doesn’t register to Nadir first, but then he freezes, looking over his shoulder. The stranger ties his arms, and then he pulls his mask up, revealing Amir Khanam. He grins, winking. “Hello again, darling.”

The van moves, and Nadir stumbles, falling on his back, grunting. “You –! You should be dead!”

Amir throws the mask on the ground, and Nadir sees the fresh scar on his cheek where Erik stabbed him. It’s still red. “I should… with how you guys fucked my knees up, but Edward had other plans with me. He healed me, I listened to his sob story and he told me that he worked with my mother. A nice surprise, I’ll tell you.”

Edward chuckles, low and threatening. “No one knew what I did with your mother. Even Erik.”

Nadir’s heart is beating hard, in fear, and he searches for a way to escape this. “Why are you guys working together!” he groans. “You want Erik dead!” he directs to Amir, then he shifts to look at Edward’s back. “You… don’t.” though it grosses Nadir out to admit it. Edward doesn’t want Erik dead.

“Tsk, tsk, I want Erik to have a miserable life. Dead is too simple. I want him to feel pain.” Amir says, simply, shrugging. He sits next to Nadir, his legs crossed. “Can I tell him about your story, Edward? It may shock him.”

“No,” Edward hisses. “I’ll tell him myself when we’re out this godforsaken city. He deserves to know before I kill him, right in front of Erik. Then Erik will choose me.”

Nadir stays quiet, his body shaking, and he stares back at Amir, who seems bummed out for not having permission to tell the story. Truly a child. Rest of the drive through Paris is quiet, with Amir sometimes humming a song. Nadir thinks about Erik and Reza, will they know already that he is gone? No, Erik only follows him when he leaves work. Against the evening will they know something is up and Nadir will be long gone. Out the city.

Just a few hours ago Erik made love to him, whispering how much he loves him, and not even an hour ago he shared a nice breakfast with his family. _His family_. He can’t help the tears from spilling, and hating himself for showing weakness. Amir sees it and he laughs.

“Are you crying!? That’s because you know the truth, know you can’t escape it, but hey, maybe I can make you feel good before Edward kills you. Is that alright with you, Ed?” Amir cackles.

“I don’t care about him. Do as you please.” Edward murmurs, more focusing on the traffic.

Nadir breathes heavily, and he kicks when Amir towers above him, pulling on his sweater. “Don’t touch me!” he growls, and Amir pulls on the turtleneck, his neck naked. Amir frowns and pulls back, disgust on his face.

“It seems you already got a good fucking last night. I don’t like sloppy seconds.” He sneers.

Nadir hears Edward shifting in his seat, and the van almost stopped moving. “What!” he barks, at Amir, who looks surprised at his reaction. “Why would you say that!”

“Look at his neck, it’s filled with hickey’s. It’s only appropriate to think they totally did it.” Amir scoffs. “Sad, I really wanted to fuck you, such a pretty face.”

Nadir balls his hands into fists, nails cutting through flesh, bleeding. “Over my dead body.”

“Ohh, you still have fire in you –”

“Amir! Shut your goddamn mouth!” Edward yells over his shoulder. “Stay quiet!! God, not even your mother wasn’t this talkative.” He speeds up the van, and Nadir wonders if they’re still in Paris or not.

It’s quiet again, and when Amir start to hum, Edward turns on the radio. It’s even peaceful, though Nadir doesn’t feel like that all. He keeps his eyes on Amir, sometimes switching to Edward, ready to kick if they touch him. Hours pass in silent, and Nadir knows they’re not in Paris anymore. How will Erik know where they are? If this plan is to grab Erik?

Finally, Edward stops at a tank station – Nadir assumes – and steps out the van. Amir looks at him, his eyes threatening. “Make one sound, and I will blow your brains out, and not the good kind.”

So Nadir stays quiet again. After five minutes Edward returns with a bag full of food and bottles of water. He throws one bottle to Amir, who catches. “If you need to use the restroom, do it now.” Edward says.

“Oh, of course, be right back, don’t leave without me.” Amir slides the door open behind him and closes it quickly before anyone could peep in. Nadir is alone with Edward, and maybe he can change Edward’s mind, let him see what he is doing is wrong.

“Erik won’t automatically love you if you kill me.” He begins, swallowing, his throat dry. Edward doesn’t move to look at him, his blank stare looking outside. “He will hate you –”

“Erik already loves me. He doesn’t see it yet.” Edward interrupts. “You just need to be gone.”

“Edward, please, you know that’s not true.”

Now Edward does move, turning to look at him, his eyes narrowed in anger. The door slides open and Amir appears again, his face relieved. “Amir, you can ride now. You know how to ride?” Edward says suddenly.

“Of course! I have my driver’s license!”

“To the asylum, you dimwit!”

 _The asylum_. Nadir shakes his head, in disbelief.

“Oh, yes, I went there a couple of times recently. I know the way.”

They switch seats, and Nadir kicks himself away, until his back is against the wall of the van when Edward sits next to him, his broad body taking more room. Amir starts the engine again, driving away. Edward grabs Nadir, helping him sit upright. Nadir’s heart goes crazy again, and he breathes heavily. He doesn’t dare to look into Edward’s eyes. It unsettles him.

Edward pulls on his turtleneck, and Nadir lets him, showing the hickeys. He swallows, scared for his reaction. He sees the twitch under Edward’s right eye. “Did he fuck you?” he asks, growling.

Nadir licks his lips, bracing. “He made love to me.”

He feels it first then he sees it coming; Edward knocks his forehead forward, slamming it against Nadir’s nose, breaking it. Blood spurts out, and Nadir gasps, pain filling his head. Edward hits him at the side of his face with his fist, again and again. Nadir falls on his side with the last hit, screaming with pain.

“Dude, _chill out!_ ” Amir says, in panic.

“You whore!” Edward yells, ignoring Amir. “Erik is mine! You spread your legs, and he couldn’t resist! Yes, that’s what happened! Erik loves me! Only me! I’ve known Erik longer than you!” he grabs Nadir’s arm, firm, and pulls Nadir up again, blood dripping on the floor. “He was mine since that night! When I stole him from his house!”

Nadir blinks slowly, hurting, but he listens, keeping quiet.

“Yes! Khanam did most of the research, but she always needed my help to capture us, and I liked to help her, she treated me right. I was not alone with her at my side. My own parents treated me like garbage. Khanam was good to me, and I wanted to do good for her. I helped her, capturing my people, killing their parents, setting their home on fire.” He chuckles, slow. “But Erik was something else. His powers intrigued me just as much like Khanam, so I was happy to help her, as always. We waited, and waited for the right moment. You were always at his side, like you were glued to his hip.”

“Then came the night, he was alone, sobbing even. Got in a fight with his parents before he stormed to his room, wanting to be alone. The perfect opportunity to strike. I sliced his parent’s necks, before I went to him, knocking him out. I had to be fast, because you know, his voice… and he felt so light in my arms, so soft, and I couldn’t believe someone so weak could have so much power. It turned me on.”

Nadir’s hands tremble, and he isn’t sure of it’s because of the pain he’s feeling, or the anger.

“I brought him to Khanam’s van, set the house on fire, though I don’t know how it exactly went… did I set the house on fire first? Then killed his parents? Anyways, and then there was you. As always. You screamed his name, desperate, barging in the house, to save him without a second thought. I was thinking about killing you, but Khanam yelled for me to come. So you have to thank his mother,” he nods to Amir. “Or else you would’ve been dead too, like Erik’s parents.”

“You…” Nadir sniffs, tasting blood on his tongue. “ _Bastard_.”

Edward grabs him by the cheeks, squeezing. Nadir hisses in pain. “Khanam tortured him, trained him good. I stood in the background, watching, and when he finally used his powers, his voice, I never came so hard. He was the one, better than that useless brat, Christine. I never understood why Khanam let them share a cell together. I was jealous. I wanted to be with him. The day she escaped I was so glad. She was gone. Then came Javert, and he was gone. Everyone who touched Erik, gone. And soon, you will be gone too. He will only have me.”

“I don’t understand,” Nadir says, though it is difficult to talk with how Edward squeezes his cheeks. “How…you _saved_ me from that cop. You traveled with them for twelve years. You killed others like Khanam, you were doing something _good_.”

“I wanted to do good in Erik’s eyes, that’s all. Sure, I was sad when Khanam died, but Erik is more important to me.  It’s a miracle he didn’t recognize me when he killed everyone in that asylum, I was certain I was toasted too, but he let me live, thinking I was one of them.” Then he laughs abruptly, and Nadir’s eyes widen at the sudden mood. “He trusted me! I was loyal to him, he told me! I was good to him!”

Nadir can’t listen anymore, and he pulls back, away from Edward’s hand. “You lied to Erik! He doesn’t know who you really are! He will abandon you if he knows!”

“He will not know!” Edward punches him again, and Nadir falls to the side again, his jaw hurting. “I’ll kill you!” a kick in the stomach, though not strong, with Edward not having enough room in the van. “You will shut your mouth, you whore! You seduced my Erik! _You took what is mine!_ ” a kick in the face, the point of his boot hitting Nadir’s nose, making it bleed more. Nadir screams, tears falling.

 “Stop it, dude! We need him!” Amir yells, getting angry too.

Edward did stop, turning his back to Nadir, who doesn’t seem to stop crying, feeling pain everywhere, and yet he opens his mouth again. “Erik will never love you, you piece of shit. You murderer!”

Edward  turns and slams his boot on Nadir’s hand, breaking his fingers.

*******

Nadir wakes on cold ground, feeling a slight gust of wind on his face. Nadir doesn’t remember falling asleep, and he’s confused for a bit. When he feels there’s no rope around his wrists, he leans on his good hand, looking around. He’s in a small room, no windows, the walls old. The only light source is from a hole in the door, an ugly yellow color. Two rusting beds in a corner, no mattresses on them. The whole room looks and smells _old_.

He stands up, resting his hand with the broken fingers against his chest. His nose hurts, he has trouble breathing through it, and his lips are dry. He hears footsteps, and Amir appears at the hole, looking at him.

“Ah, you’re awake. You slept for five hours.” He says, tired. “We’re at the asylum, if you didn’t figured that out. According to Edward, this is the same room where Erik slept.”

Nadir raises his brows at the information, and he turns, taking the surroundings in _. Erik lived here for seven years_ , he thinks, a shiver going through his spine. “How kind of him.” He says to Amir, sarcastically. “Why doesn’t he sleep here if he’s so in love with him.”

“ _Feisty_. I like that. But he’s waiting for Erik to arrive.” Amir leans against the door, looking more tired. Eyes half closed, he looks Nadir up and down, lusting. Nadir takes a step back. “You know, we’re alone and maybe, I won’t look at your hickeys or think what you did with him. I want to feel you around me.”

“Go to hell.” Nadir growls, but fear settles in. Amir can easily overpower him now.

Amir bites his lip. “I think I’m going to look where I can freshen myself up, and I’ll return. Hope you’re ready, sweetheart.” he disappears, leaving Nadir again.

Nadir sinks to his knees, feeling completely powerless. He hates it. How stupid is he to forget his gun! Erik warned him. Erik.

_Please Erik, come and find me._


	15. Two fathers and their son

_“If you value your life, you won’t do it.”_

_“It’s your own damn fault to come near the pool, Erik.”_

_Nadir had his hand wrapped around Erik’s ankle, threatening to pull the man in the pool with him. Reza hung on Nadir’s shoulders, giggling. Despite the mask, Nadir saw Erik raising his brows at Reza._

_“You think this is funny, boy?” he said, trying to sound mean, but the corners of his lips twitched in a smile, betraying him. Reza giggled more, leaning toward Nadir’s ear._

_“Pull! Pull!” he whispered._

_“Oh, I got instructions –”_

_“Don’t you dare, Nadir!”_

_“– and it says, pull!”_

_“Nadir –!”_

_Nadir pulled rough, and with wide eyes he watches how Erik fell in the water, head first. Reza laughed behind Nadir, and he laughed too when Erik surfaces above water. His long, black hair hung in front, so Nadir couldn’t see his face. He swam carefully to Erik, and opened the curtain of hair. The mask was still in place, and Erik looked murderous. “Uh, oh!” Reza whispered, scared._

_“So grumpy.” Nadir teased, grinning. “Can I make it better?”_

_“Give me a kiss?” Erik asked._

_“Hmm, sure.” Nadir said, leaning forward already. Their lips met for a short moment, before Reza was making gross sounds. Erik smiled, resting his forehead against Nadir’s._

_“Gross!” Reza said, and squeaked when Erik suddenly tried to catch him. Reza tried to swim away but Erik was faster, and caught him. Reza screamed and laughed at the same time. Nadir watched with fond eyes, how Reza struggled in Erik’s arms, still laughing._

_Feeling giddy, he swam to Erik and jumped on his back. “I’ll save you, Reza!”_

_Someone coughed, and everybody stopped, looking up, seeing Edward standing next to the pool. He wore a bored expression, though his brows furrowed a bit in annoyance. “Everybody can hear you guys. We shouldn’t attract attention.”_

_Erik sighed, and he released Reza, who looked bummed out by the interruption. Erik swam out the pool, and Edward was immediately next to him. “You look like a drowned pussy.” He laughed, slapping his hand on Erik’s back. His hand stayed, far too low on Erik’s back for Nadir’s taste. No, he won’t be jealous._

_Erik smacked his hand away, irritated. “I will change.” He walked inside the villa. Edward turned to Nadir, a smile on his face, before he followed Erik inside. Nadir frowned._

_“Can we play again?” Reza asked._

_Nadir plastered a smile on his face again. “Sure!”_

***

 

Nadir searches in his pockets for his phone, any way to reach Erik or his son, but he can’t find it. They probably stole it when he was asleep.

The door opens, and Nadir shivers in fear. He cocks his head up, not expecting to see Amir so soon, but he raises his eyebrows when he sees Edward. Not that it makes the situation better, but he’s surprised to see him. He keeps quiet, looking back at the ground. “Eh,” Edward grunts. “I heard Amir talking just now, and you just sit here, waiting like a whore. Not even yelling for help. You truly open your legs for everyone.”

Nadir doesn’t rise to the bait.

“I remember the fight in Spain. You chose Christine over Erik. I will never choose someone over Erik. You did. Maybe that’s why he left you, you know. You’re not loyal. I won’t push him away.”

Nadir’s eyes widen at the last sentence, but he keeps staring at the ground. _But how did he know_?

“Erik had lovely talks with Christine, in this very room. I know that you pushed him away when he kissed you. How he thought that no one will love him. He was wrong, but he didn’t know about me. I love him so very much. Erik will see, and he will love me when he does. He doesn’t need a whore as his lover. Someone that’s not loyal.”

Nadir rolls his lips inside, biting on them. His good hand balls into a fist. His body shakes in anger. He won’t respond to Edward. _He is wrong, he is wrong._ Edward walks around Nadir, stopping beside him and puts his hand in Nadir’s curly hair. Nadir groans when he pulls rough, tugging him up by his hair

“Did the cat get your tongue? Or, you’re quiet because you know it’s true. Erik will love me. Ooohh, I know how to pull your strings. I saw you with Erik and that kid. Being a… _family_. You’re truly sick, Reza is not even your child. Erik is not even your lover. You live in your own world. Make believe. But just like you, I will kill Reza if he –”

“ _You motherfucker_!” Nadir kicks against Edward’s legs, making him grunt in pain for a solid three seconds. “You won’t touch my son! Kill me all you want, but not my son!”

“Your son!” Edward booms out a laugh, his grip in Nadir’s hair tighter. Nadir hisses. “Just for kicking me, I will kill him! It’s your fault then, not mine.”

“You sick fuck! I will kill you, I will –”

“Wow, wow, what’s going on here?” Amir enters the room, wearing an amusing grin. “Starting without me?”

Edward releases Nadir, and he stumbles backwards, away from them. Edward shakes his head. “I won’t have sex with a whore. Erik will arrive in like three hours, if not earlier. That whore will be yours before then. Have fun.” He walks out the room, closing the door behind him. They’re surrounded in the dark (the yellow light being the only light source again), and Nadir’s heartbeat is rising.

“Don’t be scared. I will make you feel good. You should be thanking me.” Amir whispers, trying to be seductive, but it only makes Nadir want to throw up more. When Amir comes close, Nadir tries to kick and punch with his good hand, though he knows it won’t help. Amir is stronger now. “Stop fighting me!”

Nadir wants to run to the other side of room, but Amir lets him trip when he attempts. He falls on his front and he shields his face. Amir doesn’t hesitate, and he straddles Nadir’s hips, pushing his crotch against his ass. Nadir can feel his arousal, and he yells, kicking his legs, trying to throw Amir off of him. Amir is stronger, and he places his hand on Nadir’s back, pushing him against the ground. “Sshh, you will enjoy this.”

“No, no! _Help_! Someone help!”

Amir laughs. “There’s no one here! Only you and me, sweetheart. Edward won’t help you, and your precious Erik won’t save you now. So, you’ll shut your mouth and let me fuck you.”

Hands pull his pants down, and Nadir struggles more, lifting his upper body up, but Amir pushes him right back, warning him again. Hands spread his cheeks apart, and Nadir is now out right screaming, feeling weak, and he hates it! He hates it!

“Be quiet –”

The door slams open, and Nadir whips his head, expecting to see Erik, but the blood drains from his face when he sees Edward again, in the doorway. Amir gives a sigh of relief. “Dude, for a second I thought you were Erik.” He thrust his hips against Nadir’s ass. “Did you change your mind? That’s okay, you can have his mouth.”

“We have company. Erik is faster than I thought, not that I saw him, but that kid,” Edward looks at Nadir. “He is not that stealthy. Whatever. Pull his pants up, I need him.”

“Oh, man…”

The weight on Nadir disappears, and he rises on his feet immediately. Clumsily, he pulls on his pants with his good hand, not looking at the men behind him. Edward grabs him by the arm and drags him out the room, Amir following. They walk through a corridor, and like the room, it is old; broken windows on Nadir’s right, shredded curtains and  the yellow paint is now an old mustard color.

There’s a crack in front of them, someone stepping on a broken glass shard. Edward stops, his hand morphing into a knife, putting it against Nadir’s throat. Nadir looks up with his eyes, and to his shock, he sees Reza at the end of the corridor. He’s never seen his son so furious, his hands curled in fists, teeth bare and eyes narrowed.

“Let my dad go!” He yells, taking one more step towards them.

Edward presses his knife harder against Nadir’s throat. “One more step and _your dad_ will be dead.” He barks out a laugh. “This kid is just as crazy, thinking he has a dad! Your own family sold you for five-hundred euros!”

Nadir doesn’t hear _him_ , but he does see from the corner of his eye Amir flinching, turning around in panic. His eyes widen as something punches into him, deep in his side. Edward notices, and he spins around, still holding Nadir. In shock – and relief – Nadir sees Erik pulling a knife out of Amir, who falls on his knees, screaming in pain. Erik locks his eyes on Nadir for a second, and then slashes the knife across Edward’s face.

Edward lets Nadir go, also screaming, and Nadir _runs_. Reza reaches his arm out, and Nadir holds his hand.

“What is this, darling! Haven’t I been good to you!” Edward roars, and there’s a _thump_. “Everything I did was for you! If it was on me, everyone would be dead and you’ll be mine! _I love you_!”

Nadir turns, and in horror he sees Edward knocking Erik down on the ground, next to Amir. He kicks the knife away, and there’s no way Erik can win – unless he uses his voice.

“Oh, so sorry for hurting you, darling, but you aren’t being nice now, but I will forgive you. I’ve been loyal, I’ve been good, unlike that whore! Tell me! Tell me I’ve been good!” and Edward kneels down, blood dripping from his face, and his hand over Erik’s mouth. Nadir can’t watch any longer. He won’t touch Erik!

Nadir runs back, while Reza shouts behind him, and he manages to grab a glass shard from a broken window. Edward looks over his shoulder at the shout, but Nadir is quicker, and plunges the shard in Edward’s back. “Erik, use your voice! Now!”

“ _NO!_ ”

Edward rises, grunting, with the glass digging deeper in the flesh. Nadir sprints away – and why is Erik not using his voice!? Why is he hesitant?

“You whore –”

“Edward is not who you think he is, Erik!” Nadir yells, keeping a safe space from Edward. Erik rises on his feet, and Amir is still on his knees, blood flowing from his side. “He kidnapped you! He drugged you, or something! He worked with Khanam!”

“Be silent –!”

“He kidnapped many! He killed your parents! Please, Erik –”

“I said, be silent!” Edward is close and he raises his knife, ready to strike, and Reza jumps in front of Nadir, giving a flicker with his hand. Edward’s knife freezes mid-air. Edward is confused for a small second, before he raises his other hand, and flames start to blaze from his finger points. The hand that killed many.

“Reza, watch out –”

Nadir pulls his son behind him, and he shields him with his body, protecting him.

“ _Edward Klussin won’t use his powers anymore!_ ” Erik commands, his voice thundering. His voice is different, ominous, and Nadir recognizes it as the voice Erik had after his nightmare. “ _He won’t move_. _He will shut his mouth_.”

The flames return in the hand, disappearing, and the other morphs back into a normal hand. For the first time, Nadir sees Edward trembling in fear. Erik steps forward, each step a threat, and he stands next to Edward, but his eyes are on Nadir, seeing his broken nose and fingers. It is silent, even Edward does not dare to make a sound, showing that Erik is the most powerful, even still.

 “Dear,” Erik says. “What did they do to you?”

“They…” Nadir rasps, and he clears his throat. “Edward broke my nose, and fingers… Khanam tried to…” he can’t say it. He doesn’t want to think about it.

“Hmmm,” Erik turns, to look at Amir, who’s still squirming, whining. “ _Amir Khanam will tell me what he wanted to do with Nadir Khan_.”

“Eshgham, no –”

“I wanted to fuck him.” Amir groans, and his face already looks in pain, but after confessing, he sees his doom. Reza walks forward suddenly, and Nadir doesn’t stop him, he feels filthy. He didn’t want Erik to know. Erik will see him as weak. He’s weak. He’s filth.

Erik doesn’t stop Reza either, and they both watch how Reza stops in front of Amir, raising his hand. Nadir looks away, and then the screaming comes. Edward bares his teeth, wanting to move, to save Amir, but he can’t. Amir gurgles now, and then a sick _crack_ , and it’s silent again.

Nadir wants to look, see what Reza did, but Erik blocks his view, and arms embrace him. Nadir gasps, feeling Erik’s hand on his back, protective and warm. For once, Erik feels warm. He’s safe. Erik trembles, and he holds Nadir’s face, tears spilling. He’s _weeping_. “You’re alive,” as if he realizes now. He nuzzles Nadir’s neck. “They took you from me. I thought I had lost you.”

“Eshgham, I’m so sorry, I forgot my gun –” He’s filth. Weak.

“You did nothing wrong! Don’t blame yourself! My perfect  man,” Erik kisses him. “You’re so strong, do you hear me? Much stronger than I.”

And Nadir breaks, falling onto his knees, sobbing and he tugs Erik with him. He wants to feel Erik, wanting him by his side. Erik lets himself be pulled, and Nadir kisses him, trying not to press his broken nose against his mask. Erik still wants him. He flickers his eyes open, watching up to Edward, whose face looks murderous. Nadir kisses Erik deeper, adding a moan, his eyes still on Edward.

Reza walks towards them, coughing. Erik breaks the kiss, his amber eyes glistening with tears. He stands up, and Nadir follows, holding Erik’s hand. Nadir glances at Amir, and sees that Reza broke his neck. He looks at his son, who still is angry, giving Edward a dirty glare.

“You touched my family.” Erik says suddenly to Edward. Reza’s eyes grow in surprise, looking at Erik. Even Nadir is shocked, squeezing Erik’s hand. “You went after Reza first, and failed, so you took my lover. You took _everything_ from me. I – I could’ve had a normal life with Nadir. But you brought me here, this place, where I was tortured, humiliated beyond belief and put scars on me. I trusted you. Considered you my friend once. _You lied_. Everything was a lie. And for that, you will get punished. _Reza_!”

Reza looks spooked. “Yes?”

“Bring your dad to Christine. I will handle Edward. You both don’t have to see it. _Go_!”

Nadir releases Erik’s hand, trusting him that he will kill Edward, and walks with his son further down the corridor. Reza leads him to a staircase, and they go down. Nadir takes everything in, and he sees dark spots on the walls. It takes time, but he realizes it’s old blood. He remembers Erik’s story from twelve years ago, and what they did to him. He shivers, not wanting to think about it.

“What’s wrong?” Reza asks, his eyes worried.

“I hate this place, that’s all. What it did to Erik, Christine and you.” Nadir replies.

Reza nods, understanding. “Erik saved me from that woman, by breaking her neck. He carried me, not wanting my feet to be dirty. He shielded my eyes too. I could hear the screams, and the things he said.”

“You gave her son the same death.” Nadir notices.

“Yes… Dad, how far did he –”

“That’s not your concern.” Nadir says firm.

They reach a lobby – or what used to be a lobby – and Nadir sees to his surprise Christine standing at the entrance. She gives a big sigh of relief at seeing Nadir, and she comes running. She embraces him hard, and Nadir almost stumbles. “You’re alive! We were so worried!” and she cups Nadir’s face. “Erik cried and begged for our help. I think Raoul only agreed to help because of you. He’s waiting outside in the car – oh, your nose, let me fix that.”

Very softly, she places her fingers on Nadir’s nose, and warmth fills his head. “But, where is Erik?” she asks.

“He’s dealing with Edward as we speak. He didn’t want us to see.” Reza answers.

“Ugh, I knew about his obsession with Erik, but this… kidnapping you. This is not him!”

“Hm, Chris?” Nadir starts, gently. “There’s something you have to know.”

And he tells what Edward told him in the van. When he’s finished, she draws back her hands, placing them on her lips, in shock. “I… I never… _That bastard_. I don’t understand, why help us? All those years?”

“It was all for Erik. To win his heart.”

“Tsk. Disgusting… Let’s go to the car, okay? We will wait for Erik there.”

“No, I want to wait here.” Nadir says. “I want to be there for Erik.”

“Jesus Christ, dad. It’s you who shall be cared for, not Erik! He’ll survive, and I think he wants you to be safe too. Let’s go.” Reza grabs Nadir’s wrist, and they walk to the entrance. Then he hears footsteps, so soft, and he turns. Erik walks down the stairs, blood on his mask and skin. He smiles satisfied.

“He’s dead.” He says.

*******

Seeing his home again, feels unreal to Nadir. He is also exhausted and he crashes on the couch. Reza moves to the kitchen, making tea, and Erik takes a seat next to Nadir, holding his hand and kissing it. Nadir smiles tiredly, and he rest his head on Erik’s shoulder.

The ride back to Paris was long and quiet. Raoul showed concern, but his face turned cold when he saw Erik. Nadir sat between Erik and Reza in the backseat of Raoul’s Volvo, feeling safe. Erik held his hand, not letting it go. Reza fell asleep, his head on Nadir’s shoulder, snoring loudly. When they arrived in Paris early in the morning, Raoul parked right outside his apartment building . Christine healed his fingers quickly, before saying goodbye, saying she needed to see Lisa, but she will visit sometime.

Now, in his home, he wants to sleep, with Erik next to him, and forget everything what happened. He doesn’t want to think about Amir’s touches or Edward’s words. They’re gone. They won’t disturb their lives anymore.

Reza places cups of tea on the little table in front of them, and takes a seat next to Nadir as well. They say nothing, but they didn’t have to, and Nadir prefers it that way. Erik kisses his hand now and then, whispering how much he loves him. Eventually, Reza cracks too, crying how scared he was of losing him. Nadir holds him through it, keeping himself strong. His heart breaks hearing his son like this. _If I had my gun with me, this wouldn’t have happened_ , he think . _It’s my fault_.

After drinking his tea, Nadir takes a hot shower. He doesn’t look at himself in the mirror, and the shower is so hot, he can feel his skin burning. He scrubs his body hard, wanting to erase the touches. Then he goes to bed, and Erik joins him. He keeps Nadir close to him. His hands are everywhere on Nadir’s body, and he lets him. They whisper questions and answers to each other. _How did you find me_ , he asks, immediately followed by, _Darius called Reza when you didn’t arrive at work and_ _Edward left a message_.

They kiss, their legs tangled, and when Erik pulls his hands back, Nadir will grab them and put them back on his body. _Touch me. Don’t ever stop touching me_ , he moans, and Erik doesn’t. His hands stroke over Nadir’s back, assuring, and Nadir falls asleep in his arms. Safe. Warm.

*******

Erik stays with Nadir, even when he falls asleep, his arms wrapped around his waist. Safe in his arms. _Don’t ever stop touching me_. Erik smiles, remembering once upon a time Nadir said  he didn’t want Erik to touch him ever again. He kisses Nadir on the forehead.

There’s a soft knock on the door, and Reza enters. Erik looks at him, not daring to move, not now that Nadir is finally asleep. Reza stands at the end of the bed, his soft eyes are on Nadir first, before they slide to Erik.

“Can we talk?” he asks, crossing his arms, defensive.

Erik doesn’t want to leave Nadir, but something clearly troubles Reza, and gently, he pulls his arm away under Nadir’s body. He follows Reza to the living room, closing the door behind him. Nadir doesn’t need to be disturbed by their talk. Reza turns, and he frowns. “You said at the asylum, to Edward, that we are your family.” He starts, and he scratches his nose. “I thought Christine and Lisa –”

“Who gave you that idea, boy?” Erik interrupts Reza, already knowing what he’s about to say. He doesn’t like it. “Christine is a dear friend of mine, and her child… Lisa, is hers and Raoul. I never saw her as my daughter. An annoyance, more likely. Christine used her powers on me, I couldn’t send her back to Chagny, forbidding me. Didn’t Christine tell you that?”

“She left a few parts out. I thought you approved of traveling with a baby. While you left my dad and me.”

“Use your common sense. I was mad when I found out, I didn’t speak to her for two whole months, it thrilled Edward, probably thinking I would leave her. But how could I? I’m not that cruel!”

Reza bites his lips, his arms still crossed. “When I saw Lisa, and Christine told me, I was hurt. At first, I thought you were her dad, and I _hated_ it. I hated the thought!” He looks down, a bit ashamed. “Because... I, um… I didn’t want you to be her dad.”

“Reza –”

“It’s true what Edward said. My own family sold me for five-hundred euros. They were scared of me and my powers. When I was planned to fight you, I was scared, with how you looked and I was sure I couldn’t win, but you showed me kindness. You took whips for me. You carried me out the asylum, away from that woman’s claws. You let me sleep in your lap, still holding me and… and… you already know how grateful I am, for what you did, but I never told anyone, not even my own dad, that I already saw you as my… as my…” Reza takes a deep breath, and he still doesn’t dare to look into Erik’s eyes.

“What I’m trying to say is, now you see us as your family, I like want you to know that I see you as my father too. A crappy one, let me be clear, ” Reza adds, a blush on his cheeks, and he scratches his nose again.

A lump grows in Erik’s throat, and he tries to swallow it away. When Reza wanted to talk, he didn’t expect this. Nor did he dream it. Reza drops his arms, his defense gone, and he glances up, eyes wet. “Well, I only have been here for a month, I think? Give me more time to make it up. Though I doubt I can win against your dad.”

“You’re correct,” Reza chuckles, and he swipes his tears away, taking a deep breath. “ _Father_.”

A teary choke escapes Erik, and he looks away. His chest tightens, and he smiles wide, through his tears. He glances back at Reza, who is grinning now. “Stop playing with my emotions, boy.”

Reza laughs softly. “Dad had the same reaction.”

“He told me. I – I should return to bed before your dad wakes up. I want to be by his side and –“

Reza crushes him into a hug, and it takes Erik’s breath away, with how hard he squeezes. Erik cries freely now, and he hugs _his son_ back, his chin on top of Reza’s head. The hug doesn’t last long, but it’s enough, and Reza smiles when he takes a step back. “Go be with dad.” He rasps. “I’ll deal with everything.”

Erik nods, suddenly unable to speak, and returns to his bedroom. He notices first that Nadir lies differently, his body turned to Erik’s side of the bed. Erik sits on the edge of the bed, and hears Nadir breathing fast. He’s awake, but pretending to sleep. Then he knows about Lisa, Erik realizes, sighing.

He leans towards Nadir, his lips near Nadir’s ear. “I love you,” he whispers. “and our son.” He places his hand behind Nadir’s head, and leans down, pressing a kiss on a spot below Nadir’s jaw. He knows it’s a sensitive spot and Nadir’s eyelids tremble in response. “I know you’re awake, dear, and that you heard everything. You can’t fool me.”

And Nadir still doesn’t open his eyes, but he opens the covers, and taps on the empty place. “I told you not to stop touching me.”

And Erik doesn’t object. He lies next to Nadir, arm over him, and he waits for the questions. Nadir comes closer, forehead against Erik’s chest. Silence. Erik swallows. “Did you hear everything?” he asks eventually.

“Lisa being Christine’s child? _Oh yes_ , and I want you to know I’m not angry at you. When I see Christine the next time, she will get a lecture, if Raoul didn’t give one already. I think she can handle two lectures. Unbelievable, what a foolish woman! Irresponsible. Who was at the birth?”

“I… I was.”

“ _Irresponsible_! You know nothing, I bet you fainted. Let me go, I shall have a talk –”

“Dear, you just got home. You need to sleep. Stop worrying about others, think about yourself for once.”

“– don’t tell me what to do! Okay, I won’t go today, but she will know my thoughts! Foolish, foolish woman!”

Erik kisses Nadir on the forehead, smiling as Nadir calms himself, holding Erik tighter. He slides up, and presses a kiss on Erik’s lips. “Reza called you father.”

“Yes.” And again, tears prickle in Erik’s eyes.

“I told you, you’re family.” Nadir kisses him again, and Erik curls his fingers in Nadir’s hair. “Feels like I’m dreaming, Erik. Am I?”

“I think not. This is real.”

“Here we are, after everything… you still want me, no one chasing after you, well, maybe my some of my co-workers but most don’t remember you even. Just you, my son and me.”

“I will always want you, Nadir. What do you mean with still?”

“I thought… with Amir having –”

Erik crashes his lips on Nadir, kissing soundly. “You stupid man,” he pushes Nadir on his back, so he can lie on top of him. “I will always want you. You’re still so beautiful to me.”

“No, Erik, he touched –”

“I still love you!” Erik snarls. Nadir looks at him with wide eyes.  “You were hurt Nadir – please, dear, don’t ever think I’ll love you less because some swine touched you without your consent.”

Nadir looks astonished, before he smiles and rakes his fingers through Erik’s raven locks. His eyes are soft, shining. Erik wants to know he’s thinking. Nadir leans up, and kisses Erik, oh so gently. “I love you, Erik.”

Those three words will never tire Erik. “I love you too, jeegar-am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erik is upgraded to daddy. /snorts/
> 
> Translation:
> 
> Jeegar-am - My liver (IT'S VERY ROMANTIC OK)


	16. The Road

**12.31.2019 [present]**

 

Nadir wakes to the sound of the doorbell ringing. He yawns, and looks to his side, seeing Erik sleeping next to him, his mask off. He hears a door inside being opened, footsteps, and then Reza’s sleepy voice when he answers the front door. Nadir scoots closer to Erik, closing his eyes again, letting Reza deal with whoever is standing at their front door.

“How nice to see my grandson again! Don’t look so shocked, your grandparents wanted to surprise you. Your dad is home right? He shouldn’t be working on this day. It’s always work with him, chasing after Erik. He should give up on him. That fool won’t return, and if he did, he would only hurt your dad.”

“ _Sweetheart_.”

Nadir jumps out of bed, waking Erik in the process, and puts his clothes on quickly. He panics and he looks at the door, and then back at Erik, who is still _naked_ , and a bit confused by Nadir’s reaction. “Stay in bed!” he hisses to his lover. He walks out his bedroom, looking in the hallway, confirming what he feared. His parents enter his house, warm smiles on their old faces. Any other day, Nadir will be very happy to see them, but now he’s a ball of anxiety.

His mother sees him first, and spreads her arms, waiting for a hug. Nadir gives her one, and he smiles to his father over her shoulder.

“You barely call us, son, so we thought, your mother and I, to surprise you. We hope you don’t have work today.” His father gives a warming laugh, smiling wide, his thick mustache moving. His father has grown bald, only having a brushy mustache. He’s gained weight, but it suits him, Nadir thinks. His mother looks beautiful as ever, as she undoes her hijab, now she is in the presence of her family. Thick, curly black hair with grey streaks falls down.

“I don’t have work today. I’m… um, have a little vacation.” Nadir doesn’t know what Reza told his boss, but he likes the free time. “Would you like some tea? You made a long trip!”

“Oh yes, nice, thank you dear. Please tell us, what made you so busy that you won’t call us.”

Nadir leads his parents to the living room, and he sees Reza smirking in the corner of his eye. He gives him a warning glare. “Just work. It’s busier than normal.”

“So, you took a vacation?” his father asks, eyebrows raised, amused. “Someone is not telling the truth.”

His mother laughs softly too. “You’ve always been bad at lying. Since you were a little kid.”

“Let me set tea please, and we can talk.”

Nadir heads to the kitchen, and grabs the teapot, filling it with water. Reza has followed him, his eyes questioning. He sighs. “Should I tell them? I should… but everything is going so quick.” He puts the pot on the stove, heating it.

“I don’t think you should tell them about what happened, but Erik? Yes, you must. Erik will be in your future.” Reza answers, whispering. “I know that you heard what they just said, but they don’t know the now Erik. He cares. Let’s begin with Erik never having kidnapped you. That’s a good start.”

Nadir nods, his stomach tightening. The pot whistles, and Nadir serves jasmine tea to everyone. He glances sometimes to the bedroom, expecting Erik to open it, to announce his presence. His mother notices. Of course she does.

“Is there someone in your room, dear?” she asks, smiling.

Nadir blushes, and he looks down at his cup. “I – I… um,” he cocks his head up, and sees Reza staring. His parents are still smiling, patiently waiting for his answer. “ _Yes_.”

“Oh gosh, she’s probably embarrassed, or he, sorry – but, we didn’t know! We –”

“Mom, dad… he is someone you already know.” Nadir swallows, his throat dry suddenly. He takes a tiny sip.

His father scratches his mustache. “Darius? I didn’t know you liked him.”

“It’s not Darius!” Nadir squeaks, though he almost laughs at the image.

“Then who is it, dear? I’m so glad you found someone, I think Reza too. You were always so lonely, chasing after –”

“It’s Erik!” Nadir blurts out, and his heart is beating hard and fast. His mother gapes her mouth, and his father frowns in confusion. “It’s Erik! He’s been in France for a while now, and he –” no, he won’t tell about Amir. He doesn’t want to trouble his parents. “– he found me! I was mad at him first, but he promised to stay, and we fell in love –”

“ _Pft!_ ” his mother flicks her hand. “Fell in love! You can’t fool your own mama, you never stopped loving him, even after all the things he has done to you, hurting you, kidnapping you –”

“No, mom, he never hurt me. Well, the only thing he hurt me with was leaving me behind. But he never kidnapped me. I lied about the story.”

“You actually lied and we believed? Aziz-am, a miracle.” His father jokes.

“This is not a joke! Our son is with – _call him_! I want to see him.”

But Nadir doesn’t have to stand up, as he hears the door behind him creaking open. He looks over his shoulder, and sees Erik, fully clothed and mask back on his face. He takes short steps, before he stands next to Nadir, leaning against the couch. Nadir grabs his hand, squeezing. Erik smiles down to him.

No warning, his mother stands up and slaps with a flat hand against Erik’s mask, almost knocking it off.

“You’ve hurt my son! Gave him heartache!” another slap. “Do you think you deserve him!? You do not – my son deserves much better! You’ve not seen my son, in which state you left him! Do you really think you can barge into his life again, and then what? Leave him again!? I won’t allow it! I don’t want to see my son hurting again.”

“Mom – no…”

“I wholeheartedly agree with you.” Erik rasps. He sets his mask good again, and Nadir feels his hand trembling. Erik clears his throat and looks at his mother. “I do not deserve your son. He deserves so much better. But,” he adds, and his mother narrows her eyes in anger. “Your son gave me a second chance, and I grabbed it. I will do everything in my power to make your son happy again.”

“Erik, eshgham, I’m ha –”

His mother raises her hand, silencing Nadir. “Continue.” She directs to Erik.

“Mrs. Khan, please, I love your son. I should’ve never left, I was a fool. All my life, there has never been anyone like your son. Your son accepted me when no one else did. I will never leave him again, only by Death itself, but not earlier. I love your son too much, I’ll take every road back to him. Please, Mrs. Khan.”

“Mom, please, I don’t want anyone else.” Nadir looks at his dad for support, but he shakes his head. “Mom –”

“Father showed he loves my dad very much. That he is trying.” Reza says unexpectedly. “Grandma, I think you should give my father a chance too.”

“I’m not easily convinced, I know you, Erik Bonfils. Always mischief! Breaking into that church with my son, to play the organ! Intruding our house to be with my son, sleeping in his bed… A rascal!”

His mother is softening, Nadir can see it, and he squeezes Erik’s hand again. “You always made extra food, ‘cause you knew he would stay.” He says to his mother, smiling.

“His parents barely fed him! You’re still all bones, nothing has changed, unacceptable. Oh Allah, I haven’t put my hijab back, turn around, boy! How dare you say nothing!”

Erik turns a bit, looking at the kitchen. “You have beautiful hair, Mrs. Khan. First time seeing it.”

“Flattery will get you nowhere! Just be there for my son from now on, if you don’t, I will find you.”

“Yes, Mrs. Khan.”

Nadir laughs softly, at seeing how scared Erik looks. It is ridiculous, when he thinks about it. Erik has faced seven years of torture, but it is his mother who makes him tremble in fear. With her hijab back on, she sits again, her hands on her lap. Erik turns again, looking at her, timid.

“Eshgham, come sit next to me.” Nadir says. Erik does, and sits between Nadir and Reza.

“How is life treating you, Erik? It’s been a while we had a talk. Ah, the last time we saw you, you were a teenager. Always getting in trouble.” His father says, always sporting a smile.

“Life’s been good to me, your son showed me again how great life can be.” Erik answers politely. Nadir warms at those words. His mother rolls her eyes, though the corners of her lips twitch in a little smile. His father nods.

“That’s great to hear, but if you excuse me, Nadir, you said Erik did not kidnap you? What’s the true story?”

“Um,” Nadir licks his lips, and he smiles awkwardly when Erik looks at him, his eyes wide in surprise. “I – how much did the police told you?”

“Oh, Nadir, it’s been so long ago, only that the police was searching for Erik, giving no details, only that you were involved. That it was dangerous.” His mother answers.

“Erik had been kidnapped.” Nadir begins. He tells the story, though he doesn’t mention the magic, he wants that to be a secret. His parents are listening, no interruptions, and his mother sometimes will look at Erik, her eyes sad. When Nadir is finished, they’re all quiet, lost in their own thoughts.

His father claps his hands together. “That’s all in the past now, we came here to celebrate the new year! New chances, for some –” his eyes are on Erik. “– a bright new life with their loved ones. You can learn from your past, to move on.”

“Isn’t that from a Disney movie?” Reza says, raising an brow.

“No, you’re mistaken.”

“No, I’m sure.”

Nadir laughs.

*******

“Eshgham, I think you’ve had too much wine, give me the bottle.”

“No, I shan’t!  I – I – Oh, dear, you have such beautiful eyes.”

“That’s it, give me the bottle – there we go.” Nadir places the bottle on the kitchen counter, while his mother yells in the living room about being ten minutes left until midnight. Nadir looks at his lover, who is smiling goofily, his eyes half-lidded, sleepy.

The whole day has been a roll of emotions, with Erik mostly being stiff, afraid to anger Nadir’s mother. Nadir and his mother prepared food and snacks. Reza is being pampered as always. When dinner was ready, Erik almost gasp in delight at the sight of the curry dipped boiled eggs. He ate the most of them, with fried sliced potatoes and some roasted turkey.

Then the alcohol came, and it went downhill. Erik drank too much, glass after glass, and it’s the first time for Nadir seeing his lover drunk and he has no idea what to expect. “Come on, Erik, it’s almost time.”

“Jeegar-am, “ Erik murmurs. “Do… Do you want me –” he hiccups, and Nadir can’t help but smile. “Do you want me in this new year? New life?”

“I want you in this new year, and many more years.” Nadir answers, raising his eyebrows at the question.

“Do I deserve that?”

“Yes, eshgham.”

Erik leans his forehead against Nadir’s shoulder, drowsy. Nadir combs his fingers through his hair.  “We will miss the countdown on the television, Erik.” He says, but Erik doesn’t budge, and he sighs.

“ _Five minutes_! What are you two doing in the kitchen!” his mother yells.

“What’s troubling you, eshgham?” Nadir whispers, ignoring his mother. He feels Erik’s lips on his skin, and he rolls his eyes upwards. “Fine, say nothing. I’ll go back to the living room, and you need to stop –”

Erik hums, and Nadir stops talking, recognizing the song from that night they danced. He smiles, and he swings a bit, to the tune. Erik moves clumsily, so Nadir holds him steadily. Erik looks up, his eyes more sharp, drilling into Nadir’s. It takes Nadir breath away.

“Guys! _FIVE_!”

Erik still hums, but he’s coming closer, leaning forward.

“ _FOUR_!”

Forehead against forehead, eyes still watching him.

“ _THREE_!”

“I love you, Nadir Khan –”

“ _TWO_!”

“– and I want to spend the rest –”

“ _ONE_!”

“– of my life with you.”

“ _HAPPY NEW YEAR_!”

Nadir kisses him.

*******

Erik grunts, closing his eyes, the morning sun shining over the hills. Nadir watches the familiar scenery, and for once, he feels at ease when he spots the white church. His parents ride into Boscherville, to their house. Nadir has decided to go with his parents back to the old village,  wanting to spend the rest of his vacation in peace and quiet. Reza stayed in Paris, having to work, but Nadir knows he’s excited to have the apartment all to himself.

His parents park in front of their house, and they step out. Erik stretches and yawns, and Nadir grabs his suitcase. The streets are cold, and silent. Everybody in the village is asleep, despite being ten in the morning.   “It’s been a while I’ve been here.” Erik says, taking in his surroundings. “Not since…” and he falls quiet, looking at the snowy ground.

 _Not since the day you left me_ , Nadir thinks. He grabs Erik’s hand and leads him into his parents’ house, not wanting Erik to dwell on it. The house has changed; a new lick of white paint on the walls, a dark brown wooden floor, and brand new grey couch in the living room. Erik looks, and Nadir sees in his eyes he’s missing something.

“Where is Ana?” He asks. Nadir’s parents look up at the question.

“Erik, she… she died of old age.” Nadir answers. “She passed away five years ago. She got to be twelve.”

“Oh.” Erik says, falling silent again.

Nadir goes to his room, Erik following him, and unpacks his suitcase. Erik looks in the bookcase, and Nadir sees his eyes are sad. “I buried Ana,” he says, as he puts their clothes in the wardrobe. Erik looks at him. “Reza cried when she passed away. I promised him that one day we will get another dog, but we don’t have the space or time to have one.”

“Maybe… a cat –”

“Absolutely not! You know how much I dislike them, and you –” he points to Erik. “– blew your chance!”

Erik rolls his eyes, a bit annoyed, and walks to the window, opening it, letting the cold wind in. “What more chances did I blew up? Will you hold this against me forever?”

“Not forever! Allah, Erik, I just don’t want a cat.” Nadir shuts his suitcase, placing it against the end of his bed. Erik drops the subject, looking more sad. _Such a child_ , Nadir thinks, rolling his eyes too. He drops on his bed, stretching his back and legs, tired.

“I’m going for a walk. Will you join me?” Erik says unexpectedly.

“It’s freezing, eshgham.” Nadir pouts.

“I can keep you warm.”

Nadir chuckles at that. “Allah, that was terrible. But no, I’m tired. You can go if you want.” He rolls on his side, closing his eyes, wanting to take a quick nap. He doesn’t get an reply, but he hears Erik closing the window. Then a dip on the bed behind him, and Nadir scoots, to make room for Erik on the tiny bed.

Erik slides one arm over Nadir, and he smiles when Erik presses kisses on the back of his neck. With his touch, Nadir falls asleep.

*******

_Nadir is walking inside Erik’s old house, and he’s confused, watching the new white furniture, the dark red painted walls. This doesn’t feel good; the house doesn’t exist anymore. Yet, he heads where the living room is, now curious, and he stops when he sees Erik sitting on the couch. He is not wearing his mask, and there’s a cat lying on his lap._

_Erik looks content, happy, and he doesn’t notice Nadir in the doorway._

_“Esh –”_

_“Darrrling!”_

_Edward steps into view, holding a mug with steaming hot coffee in it. Erik looks up, smiling, and he takes the mug when Edward gives it. Nadir is shocked, taking a step back, his eyes wide. Edward leans down, pressing his lips on Erik’s. Anger replaces the shock, and Nadir storms inside. They don’t hear him, Edward doesn’t turn around at the sound of his footsteps, even kissing Erik deeper._

_Nadir wants to slam his hand on Edward’s shoulder, to shove him away, but his hand goes right through Edward, and he stumbles forward. He jumps back immediately, not wanting near the scene, and it hurts when he sees Erik kissing back soundly. It feels like his heart is ripping apart._

_“No, Erik…” he croaks, his throat in pain suddenly. “No…”_

_Edward pulls back, and it devastates Nadir how happy Erik looks at him._

_“I love you –”_

_“No!”_

_“ – Edward.”_

“Dear! Jeegar-am!”

Nadir wakes up, his body shaking, cold. Erik looms over him, concerned, placing his hand on Nadir’s forehead. Nadir slaps his hand away, and regrets it immediately. _It’s just a dream, it’s just a dream, it’s not real_ , he thinks rapidly, but he can’t help but feel angry.

“I… you don’t have a fever. A nightmare, perhaps… I… Erik can’t touch you. Erik did something to upset you. But Erik stayed beside you while you were sleeping.”

“Yes, Erik, it was a nightmare…” Nadir says, pushing his face in the pillow.

“Erik knows about nightmares, how they can feel real,” Erik says, and he picks on the end of Nadir’s sweater. “But, I’m getting better, ‘cause you’re with me. But maybe you need something else. Come on, dear. Let’s go outside.”

Erik steps out of bed, and Nadir follows, though he can’t look into Erik’s eyes. He sees outside his window that the sun is dawning, giving an orange and pinkish glow over the snowy hills and village. The scenery alone already brings a smile to Nadir’s face.

“Dear, follow me.”

Erik touches his hand, so slightly, afraid that Nadir will slap him again. Nadir casts his eyes down, looking at their hands. He intertwines his fingers with Erik’s. Erik leads him out the room.

*******

Nadir watches the surroundings, while Erik pushes against the gate, which doesn’t budge with it being frozen. It’s strange to be here again, also comforting, not seeing the wooden house behind the gate. _It’s not real_. Erik and he first took a stroll in the village. The baker, who was closing his shop, raises his big eyebrow at seeing Erik, blinking. He did not approach them, but he waved.

After, Erik took him up the hill, to the road.

Nadir has a lot of memories here, on this very road. This is where he first met Erik, mud on his clothes and hair. He cried that day. But this place also shares the memory of Erik leaving him. It was raining, he remembers. He cried more, his heart broken.

“It seems we can’t go in, sorry, dear.” Erik says in the background.

“It’s okay…” Nadir says absently. He walks a bit forward, snow crunching beneath him.

Being here, only them, makes Nadir feel like they’re the only ones in this snowy world. He turns to Erik, who’s watching him with curious eyes. Nadir looks away, eyes on the road and tries to remember where exactly he stood when he first saw Erik. He heads forward, and stops. Two more steps.

He turns around again, and sees Erik walking to him, hands in his pockets.

“What are you doing, dear?” He asks quietly.

“This is where we met.” Nadir answers.

“Huh… no, you stood here with your bike.” And Erik leads him under a little tree. Nadir frowns.

“I don’t remember a –”

And he is too late; Erik raises his hand, and shakes the tree hard. Snow falls on top of Nadir’s head, and some slide into his coat. Nadir yells at the cold, jumping, and he hears Erik laughing. “ _You son of a_ – oh, it’s on!” and he tackles Erik, both falling into the snow. They wrestle, laughing and Nadir squirms when he gets more snow put in his sweater.

After a while, Nadir lies on top of Erik, straddling his hips, and he doesn’t feel his fingers anymore. Erik has a big grin on his face, his lips red from the cold. “You win, oh strong man.”

“Can I have my prize?”

“Yes.”

Nadir smiles, and bows down, kissing Erik on the lips. His hand slips into the snow, grabbing a handful and rubs it against Erik’s bare neck. Erik gasps, and he rolls Nadir over, so he lies in the snow. They kiss again, for a short moment, before Erik stands up, pulling Nadir up with him.

Erik shakes the snow of his coat, and Nadir does the same, smiling. “Dear,” Erik says, resting his cold hand on Nadir’s cheek, rubbing it with his thumb. “Do you feel better?”

“Yes,” Nadir says honestly, looking into Erik’s amber eyes, his heart warming. “Thank you.”

Erik leans down to kiss, but Nadir stops him, pulling his mask off. Erik looks happy, his smile ever growing, and Nadir stands on his toes, kissing him. He feels Erik wrap his arms around his waist, squeezing, their bodies close. Nadir moans when Erik drops his hands lower, resting on the curve of his ass.

“Erik,” he mock warns, grinning. “Not here. Or else you won’t…” he licks his lips, thinking about it. Then he nods. “Or else you won’t get your present.”

“Present?” Erik says curiously. “Hmm, will I like it?”

“You will love it.”

*******

Their time in Boscherville goes way too quick, and before Nadir knows it, he’s back on the road to Paris. His father is driving, the radio on and Erik sits in the backseat, reading a book. Their time in Boscherville is well spent, each day taking a walk, laughing about old times.

It brought peace to Nadir’s mind, despite how the first day went. Erik was so gentle and understanding, surprising not only Nadir, but also his parents. It also made Nadir more sure about the present. He read about it on his phone when Erik wasn’t looking. He knows what to do.

Back in Paris, Nadir hugs his father, thanking him for driving. Erik does the same, shaking his hand. Together they walk back to their apartment, and Nadir suspects Reza is still at work, but he’s proven wrong; he opens the door, and the first thing he hears is a moan. From a man. Not his son.

Erik passes Nadir, his eyes sharp, and walks in the living room. Then there’s a scream. Silence. A grunt, and Nadir’s eyes widen when Erik walks back, pulling a unknown man by the collar, dragging him over the floor.

“Let me go! Reza, call the police – a burglar!” the man yells.

Nadir would’ve snorted at that, but he’s more concerned who this man is, and what he’s doing in his house.

“Erik, stop! Let this man stand.” Nadir says, raising his hand. Erik drops him, and the stranger jumps up, his eyes wild, staring at Erik. Nadir coughs, and now he looks at him. “I want to ask what you’re doing in my house.”

“Your house? Oh god, I’m sorry… look, this was just a one time thing, you know? I mean, your son is pretty hot –”

“Excuse me!” Nadir says, flabbergasted.

“ _Out_!” Erik pushes the stranger outside.

“Can I at least have my shoes and jacket –”

Erik throws his shoes and jacket at his direction and slams the door shut. Nadir hears a muttering “ _Asshole_ ,” behind the door. He approaches the living room slowly, pulling the suitcase with him and sees Reza sitting on the couch, his shirt on the floor. He looks clearly ashamed, rubbing his neck, but Nadir can see the hickeys there.

“That was not Amal.” Nadir starts simply.

“Don’t say her name. We broke up.” Reza scoffs. “For a good reason.”

“Will you tell me?” Nadir is surprised at the news; Reza never gave him the impression there was something wrong with his relationship. Erik stands behind him, his hand low on Nadir’s back.

“I never told Amal about your relationship with Erik, so I told her, a few days ago, the day after you left. She flipped out on me, and I quote ‘ _I have nothing against homosexuals, but children do need a father and a mother_!’. She talked to me like I was twelve! I kicked her out and told her I was done with her.” Reza explains.

“So, you thought, I’ll bring a stranger into my dad’s home?”

“No, I – _oh, come on_! I was out with my friends yesterday, having a drink and he – god, I don’t even remember his name –  he started hitting on me, and I wanted to give it a try. I was curious, okay? I still prefer women, but he was pretty good, and I don’t know anymore.”

Allah, Nadir is not even ten minutes home and there’s already drama. He turns a bit, looking at Erik, and asks if he wants to unpack. Erik nods, and takes the suitcase from Nadir’s hand and heads to the bedroom. Nadir takes a seat next to Reza.

“Tell me.” He says.

“God, dad, no, I’m not a teenager anymore. Look, I’ll be fine. How was it back in Boscherville?” Reza picks his shirt from the floor, pulling it on.

“It was a nice change, I got to rest.” And he leans in Reza’s space. He starts to whisper. “Don’t tell Erik this, it’s a surprise, but I’m going to adopt a cat. If you want to help me picking one out?”

“What! Really? Oh my god, when? _Now_?” Reza looks suddenly excited, almost bouncing.

“Tomorrow.”


	17. The Giry's

**1.8.2020 [present]**

“They’re all so cute!”

Reza presses his face against the glass, looking into the room where the cats are located. One small black kitten on the veranda looks at him, meowing. The young assistant who is helping Nadir with the papers raises her eyebrows at him, amused.

“If you follow me, I’ll show you the cats. Take your time to know them.”

She leads them to the room, and Reza has a big stupid grin on his face when he enters, but for Nadir personally, this is his living hell. There are cats everywhere, looking curiously. Kittens are playing with the toys, while the older ones are lying lazily in their scratching posts.

“They all have been taking care of. Meaning that they’re chipped, vaccinated and such. Oh?”

Nadir spots a Siamese kitten at the window, looking outside, her tail swinging right and left. Reza is playing with the kittens on the ground, making kissing sounds. Nadir imitates the sounds, directed at the Siamese kitten. The kitten turns its head, and its tail stops swinging.

Reza looks up too, and sees the kitten. “Wow, what a beauty!” he says.

 “She is. It’s her first day in the room. I do have to warn, she can be – oh no, sir!” the assistant panics.

Nadir reaches his hand, wanting the kitten to sniff his hand. She does, and purrs. Nadir scratches behind her ear, and smiles when she pushes her head against his hand.

“Oh, to continue my sentence, she can be feisty, but she’s taken a liking to you.” the assistant sighs in relief.

Reza stands beside Nadir, offering his hand too. “What do you think, dad?”

“She fits Erik perfectly. You said she can be feisty, miss?”

“Yes, sir, to people. Is that a problem?”

“Not at all.”

*******

Nadir opens the door as silently as possible, but in the back of his mind he knows he can’t sneak around Erik, especially when the kitten decides to meow when he enters the hallway. Instantly, there’s quick footsteps and Erik appears, his eyes big.

Reza enters behind Nadir, holding a bag full with basic needs for the kitten and his other hand holds a tiny scratch post. Erik glances between them and the cat carrier where the kitten lies, like he can’t believe it. “Dear –”

“Sshh, everything is new to her. We should place her in the bathroom,  letting her adapt.”

“Y-Yes.”

They place everything in the bathroom, the litter box in a corner, away from her food and water bowl. Nadir lets Erik be alone with the kitten, and goes to the kitchen, setting tea for Reza and himself. “Have you seen the look in his eyes? He’s already in love with her.” Reza says, as he takes his cup of tea.

“Soon she will replace me.” Nadir jokes, laughing. Reza chuckles.

“But, I have a date with my friends in a hour. Don’t wait on me, it will be late.”

“Be careful, alright?”

“Sure, tell me tomorrow how it went with the kitten.”

They finish their tea in silence, with the occasional kissing sound coming from the bathroom which makes Nadir smile. Reza grabs his things and says goodbye, leaving. Nadir sits on the dining table, turning his laptop on. Though he knows everything about how to take care of a cat, he still wants to know precisely what it needs.

After an hour, Erik comes out the bathroom, his eyes glistening. Nadir shuts his laptop, looking up to his lover.

“Do you like her? She immediately caught my eye, and Reza likes her too.”

“She’s beautiful, dear. But you said you didn’t want a cat, what changed your mind?”

Nadir blinks. “You, of course, and um… our week in Boscherville. Besides, you’re always alone in this tiny apartment, you need some company and comfort when I go back to work.”

“What did I do to deserve you,” Erik pulls Nadir up from his chair, looking at him intently. “You give me everything.”

“I try.” And Nadir moans when Erik kisses him, hand in his curled hair. Erik pushes him against the table, and he shifts, sitting on it. He spreads his legs and binds them around Erik’s hips, pulling him closer. Erik slips his tongue in Nadir’s mouth, licking the roof. Nadir pulls Erik’s mask off, throwing it behind him, so he can kiss Erik better. The porcelain hits the table hard.

“Reza won’t be home for a long time.” He murmurs, dragging his lips over Erik’s jaw. He nibs on Erik’s earlobe, hearing Erik giving a little gasp at the sensitivity.

“What are you suggesting?” Erik asks slyly, baring his neck.

Nadir sucks on his Adam’s apple, giving little pecks on it. He looks up at Erik, licks his lips, his eyes searching. “I…” he begins to blush. He thought about it, but he knows Erik will not approve. Even he is shocked by his own thoughts, but he craves, wants to hear that _voice_. To order him.

“Dear?” Erik says urgently. He grinds his hips against Nadir’s crotch, letting him feel how hard he is. “Is there something new you want to try?”

“No, there’s nothing… I just want to –” he unbuckles Erik’s pants, letting it drop to his knees. “– suck you off.” He shifts again, wanting to kneel, but Erik stops him. He places his hand under Nadir’s chin, lifting his head up.

“You’re lying, Nadir. _Tell me_.” He commands, his voice hard, and a shiver goes through Nadir. Yes, he wants to hear that voice. Isn’t that what he wants?

“Your voice. I want you to order me with your voice. Telling me what to do.” And his face burns, casting his eyes down. Erik pulls his hand back, shocked. Nadir turns more red, and he looks everywhere but Erik. “If you don’t want to, it’s completely fine.”

“N-Nadir, that’s… is that what you want?”

Nadir nods, timid. “But, you need to want it to.”

“I want to try, for you.” Erik whispers.

“If you don’t like it, you can stop. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, and I won’t be mad.”

“ _And you will tell me if I hurt you_ ,” his voice is hard, controlled again. Demanding. Nadir nods, not believing it’s happening; his heart hammering inside his chest. Erik pulls his pants up again, and Nadir frowns in confusion, looking up and down. “ _You will go to the bedroom and strip_.”

Nadir obeys, feeling the familiar pull in his body. He heads to his bedroom, shedding his clothes on the floor, feeling like he’s putting on a show for Erik. He knows Erik is watching him from behind, appreciating his dark body. He takes a deep breath, and takes off his boxers, now naked.

Erik closes the door, so they’re in the dark, and Nadir breathes out a shaky exhale when Erik touches him. His fingers slide over Nadir’s back to his neck, giving him goose bumps. “Erik –”

“ _Sshhh_ ,” Erik whispers, kissing the back of his neck. “You’re so pretty, so good to me.” He lays his hand on Nadir’s hips, sliding up and down, and Nadir bucks, pressing his behind against Erik’s crotch. Erik is still wearing his clothes. So unfair. “ _Tell me what you want from me_.”

“Your mouth on my body,” and again, he blushes, knowing he would never say this without the influence of the voice. He swallows. “Your mouth… please, Erik.”

Erik turns him around, and clashes his lips on Nadir, all teeth and tongue. Nadir whimpers, kissing back, while his hands unbuckles Erik’s pants again, tugging his briefs down too. They pool beneath Erik’s feet, and he kicks them away. He pulls his sweater off too, breaking their kiss, so they’re both naked.

Their mouths find each other again, while their hands wander, exploring. Nadir moans when Erik touches his cock, giving a firm stroke. “No – Erik, your mouth, please.”

“You want my mouth?”

“ _Yes_.”

“ _Sit on the bed and spread your legs_.”

Nadir gladly sits on the edge of the bed, his legs open and vulnerable. Erik slides down to the floor, landing on his knees, looking up at Nadir first, then eyes the cock in front of him. He licks his lips, before taking it in his mouth, sucking. Nadir gives out a long groan, trying not to buck his hips forwards. Erik’s mouth is hot, and his tongue presses against his cock, tasting.

He rest his hands on Nadir’s thighs, and looks up, his eyes locked on Nadir’s. His lips are stretched prettily  around Nadir’s cock, and the sight makes Nadir dizzy, but he keeps on watching, laying his hand on top of Erik’s head. That didn’t stop Erik, making sure his cock is nice and wet. Nadir’s breath becomes uneven, and he tugs on Erik’s raven-grey hair, wanting more of that heat.

Erik moans, and he takes Nadir’s entire length in his mouth, but not for long, pulling back immediately, gasping for air. Spit hangs on his bottom lip, and he wipes it away.

“Allah, Erik… that was…” _amazing_.

“Hmmm.” Erik begins to kiss his abdomen, leading upwards, taking a nipple in his mouth, licking the nub. Nadir slides his hands over Erik’s back, over his old scars. Erik practically sits on his lap, and he kisses Nadir’s bearded jaw. “Nadir,” he moans. “ _I want you to fuck me_.”

“ _Yes_ , come here, eshgham.”

Nadir makes it quick; heaving Erik up and throwing him on the bed; Erik looks a bit shocked, but opens his legs when Nadir crawls over him, assaulting his neck. Nadir sucks the skin there, while his hand wandered to the nightstand, grabbing the bottle of lube out of the drawer. He slicks his fingers, warming it,  before rolling his index finger against the tight muscle.

Erik gasps beneath him when he pushes in the first knuckle. So responsive. He kisses Erik, to distract, and pushes further, curling his finger. Erik moans wantonly in Nadir’s mouth, grinding his hips, searching for fraction. His eyelids shutter, and it doesn’t take long or Nadir worms another finger in, stretching him open. Erik sucks in a breath.

“This feels so good,” he says, his voice rough. “Better than my own fingers, oh god, yes… _fuck me Nadir_.”

The pull in Nadir gets stronger, and he wonders if he can fight it, not giving the satisfaction Erik wants, his fingers going in and out. The pull keeps getting stronger, to the point it hurts his head, and he gives in. He pulls his fingers out of that tight heat, and slicks his hard cock with lube. He doesn’t wait, the pain in his head getting worse, and pushes in Erik, slowly.

Instantly, the pain is away, and Nadir hears Erik whimpering. He scratches Nadir’s back with its nails, digging deep. “God, you’re big, Nadir.” He moans, and he truly does feel like a glove around Nadir’s cock, clenching, sucking him further in.

“You know, big is mostly used for a compliment.” He says dryly.

“I’m not complaining, dear.” Erik groans.

“You sounded like you were complaining.”

“I was not – are we really having this conversation? Right now? I like your – _ahh_!”

Nadir slides back a bit, and thrust forward, carefully. At Erik’s urgent “ _More_!”, he bites in Erik’s shoulder, not too hard, and grabs his hips, slapping into him. The bed creaks beneath them, and Erik starts to moan loudly, meeting Nadir’s thrusts.

Nadir sucks over the tooth marks he left in Erik’s skin, before he captures his mouth, and greedily soaks up the moans he’s giving. Erik grabs Nadir by the hair, tugging, making Nadir moan. “ _Don’t hold back_!” he hisses against Nadir’s lips. Growling, Nadir fucks him harder, much rougher, and for a while, he forgets about Erik, searching for his own pleasure.

He does look at his lover, seeing how undone he is, because of him. Nadir does this to him. Little whimpers and moans pass Erik’s lips. “ _More. I want more_ , oh, so good to me.” And he arches his back, getting deeper, so wantonly. _Mine_ , Nadir thinks possessively. _He’s mine_.

He knows he’s close, he can feel it, and with a choked noise, he comes inside Erik, riding it out. A whine brings him out his trance, and in shock, he looks up, at Erik, who looks completely sated. And then, he feels the sticky cum on his stomach and chest; Erik came untouched.

 “Eshgham? Are you okay? I’m so sorry, I don’t know what happened.” He pulls out slowly, for not to hurt his lover, and he cups Erik’s face, concerned. “Erik?”

“I liked that.” Erik responds, his voice tired, and he smiles. Nadir blinks and he looks at the bruises on Erik’s body, and the hickeys on his neck. Did he do that?

“I’m sorry –”

“Dear, I wanted this. I’m not hurt.” Erik presses a kiss on his lips, assuring.

“No?”

Erik shakes his head, laughing softly. He grabs some tissues from the box on the nightstand, cleaning his and Nadir’s chest and stomach. Nadir plasters himself against Erik’s side, kissing his shoulder. Erik rolls over, so they’re facing each other, their legs tangled, and tired. “I love you, Nadir.” Erik sighs happily. “Thank you for the cat.”

“Hmm, I love you too. Did you give her a name?”

“Yes. Ayesha.”

*******

“Mr. Khan?”

Nadir looks up from his work, a bit annoyed, not wanting to be disturbed, but he raises his eyebrows when he sees it’s Meg. She’s standing in front of his desk, and Nadir notices how she looks worried, which makes him suspicious. He has not seen her since the day they arrested Edward, with her being bedridden with an concussion. She looks to be okay again.

“Can I help you?” Nadir asks politely.

She shakes her head. “No, I want to ask how you’re doing. You’ve been gone for a while.”

“I took a nice vacation, visiting my parents.” Nadir says, wondering why she’s interested all of a sudden. They’re co-workers, sure, but Meg is always more to herself. “And how are you? You took quite a hit.”

Meg flicks her hand, like she doesn’t want to talk about it. “I’m okay now. But, nothing strange has happened?”

Nadir frowns. “What do you –”

“Have a cup of coffee with me! After work.” Meg blurts out.

Darius, who has a desk behind Nadir, whistles, grinning. Nadir gives him a glare, and then turns back to Meg, who looks nervous. “Sorry, I… I’m with someone already.”

“Liar!” Darius says. “Don’t crush that poor woman’s heart.”

“Shut up, Darius! Look, Meg, I’m flattered, but –”

“Oh, you misunderstood, I’m not asking you out for a date, just a cup of coffee. A nice talk.” Meg says quickly, her cheeks turning red. “If you want to.”

Darius murmurs, something like “ _Sounds like a date to me_ ,” and Nadir still thinks it’s odd Meg is showing interest in him. But he nods, curious. “Sure.”

Meg looks relieved, nodding. “I will see you after work then.” she says at last, before walking off. Darius whistles again, and Nadir gives him another glare, more annoyed.

Rest of the day goes smoothly, with Nadir checking the backgrounds of a lost person, while Darius keeps teasing him about the date. He ignores him. When it’s evening, Meg returns, in her casual clothing, her hair up in a bun, her bag hanging loosely on her shoulder. She looks tired. Nadir gathers his stuff, and he flips the bird to Darius when he gives him a thumbs up.

Meg brings him to a nice place, not far from the police station. The café is busy with people, live jazz music playing in the background, and Nadir is sure they don’t serve coffee here. They find a table at a window miraculously, and a server asks what they want; Meg orders a glass of whiskey and Nadir goes for water.

“Whiskey?” he says to Meg.

“Sorry, I promised coffee, but I need something strong for this conversation.”

Now Nadir is more suspicious, but he stays quiet, staring at Meg, waiting for her to continue.

“My mother is Jeannette Giry, she freed Erik from the asylum.” Meg begins, straight to the point. Nadir sits more stiff, wary. “My mother told me about the people with magic, that they exist, and how she saw how terrifying their powers can be. I became intrigued, researching, but it’s very hard to _find_ them. My mother then told me about the strongest, how she freed him, into the world. According to her, he killed more than over hundred people, with just his voice, a _monster_ they –”

“Don’t call him a monster.” Nadir growls, not liking this conversation already. He want to leave. “He was tortured! Mistreated for seven years. They deserved to die.”

Meg looks at him curiously. “My apologies. To continue, my mother had pity for Erik. She had talks with him, though she was warned about his voice. Erik talked about you, how in love he was with you. Then the day came when she set him free, to escape. She was the only one, besides the patients, to survive the massacre. She saw how her friends got killed. She was traumatized, and my mother went into therapy.”

“Where are you going with this.” Nadir asks. “What do you want?”

“When my mother finally found peace, a man visited her, threatening her. She gave out your name, and I was –”

“It was your mother who gave out my name? Who brought that bastard into my life!?” Nadir never raised his voice to a woman before, and he feels horribly doing it, but he can’t believe his ears. “That man almost ruined me!”

Some people are looking at them, and Nadir tries to calm down. Meg looks nervous, her eyes looking everywhere.

“Look, I was concerned for you –”

“Concerned!” Nadir hisses. “You didn’t warn me! When the calls happened, you shut your damn mouth! No text to warn me, or who it could be, nothing! I don’t want your concern. I don’t want your apologies.”

“Nadir, I’m sorry –”

Nadir slams his hand on the table, silencing her. “If you excuse me, I’ll go home, where my son and –”

His phone buzzes in his pocket, and he grabs it, looking who’s calling; speaking of the devil. He raises a finger to Meg, for her to wait. Meg nods in understanding. “Hi, Reza!” Nadir answers, smiling.

“Dad! Where are you!” Reza says quickly, in hysterics. “Jesus Christ, father is out looking for you. He didn’t wait for me to call you – _where are you_!”

“I’m out with a co-worker. What do you mean, Erik is out looking for me –” Meg’s eyes grow terrified at hearing Erik’s name, and she looks outside, as if he’s standing just outside the window. “– I’m perfectly fine!”

“Um, hello!? You didn’t let us know, and we’re waiting here, our dinner ready, but hey, guess who doesn’t show up, making father worried.” Reza says angry.

“Well, I’m sorry that I didn’t text you. I’m coming now, alright. I’ll be home in a few minutes.”

“ _Hurry_!”

Nadir hangs up, and he sees Meg already signaling a server to come. “Nadir, just go already. We talk another time, okay? I’m on your side, remember that.”

Nadir scoffs, not believing her one bit, nor did he has the desire to talk to her again. “Thank you for paying. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“ _Go_!”

Nadir leaves the place gladly, almost slipping on the icy snow when he’s outside. He tries to be quick, his heart racing, and to his relief he doesn’t see or bump into Erik anywhere. When he arrives home, he’s out of breath, his back leaning against the front door. Reza looks at him from the kitchen, his eyes worried. Huh.

Then something hops by, and Nadir sees it’s Ayesha, already out the bathroom

Footsteps come from the living room, surprising Nadir, and Erik appears. He picks up Ayesha, and then returns, not even acknowledging Nadir. He doesn’t even look at him. Nadir approaches his son, raising his brows in question, hoping he will fill him in.

Reza leans in his space. “He just arrived, but I think he saw you with your co-worker.” He whispers, crossing his arms. “He seems… _jealous_.”

Nadir almost barks out a laugh, but he suppresses it on time. But when did Erik see Meg? Them? He can’t be that fast. Nadir didn’t even see him on the way here. “That’s ridiculous!” he says to Reza.

 “I know, but this is not the first time I see him reacting like this. At least he’s not throwing chairs.”

“Stop the whispering. Share with the class.” Erik hisses, looking over his shoulder, his eyes angry.

“You’re being a big baby!” Nadir shouts, not afraid.

“Okay, I’ll be in my room, listening to music.” Reza says immediately, and runs to his room. “Be nice.” And he closes the door. Erik places Ayesha carefully on the couch, before he stands up, in full height. It doesn’t intimidate Nadir, as he walks to Erik. He stands on his toes, hands on his hips, and chest forward.

“Why are you angry! Yes, it was stupid not to text first, but I was just out with a co-worker! Or is that forbidden?”

“You looked awfully comfy with her!”

“Really! Then you need glasses, eshgham, ‘cause I was not! The one I was drinking with is the daughter of Jeannette Giry, does that ring a bell? She –” he takes a deep breath, his hand going over his face, trying to calm down. He isn’t angry at Erik. He doesn’t want to fight when there’s nothing to fight about!

“She what, dear! Did you two laugh together at poor, foolish Erik! To think he had a chance, yes, that’s quite a laugh, isn’t it! She is more beautiful than him, she has no baggage, you won’t have to lie. She’s perfect! Maybe Erik should change his face –”

“Stop it, Erik!”

“Is Erik telling the truth? Did you…”

Erik falls silent when Nadir looks up, tears in his eyes. “How dare you. I showed nothing but love, when did I ever give you the impression I want someone else! I don’t want to fight, please, Erik, I feel nothing for her. You know I’m yours. Utterly yours.”

Erik stays silent, looking at him speechlessly, and Nadir sniffs, glancing away. He hates crying, it gives him headaches. Taking a deep breath, he walks to the kitchen, not knowing what else to say to Erik. In the kitchen, he sees that his lover made French beef stew, and it smells delicious. He could’ve had a nice meal with his family, but he had to have a talk with Meg. A miserable one at that.

Though he isn’t very hungry, he grabs a plate, and he jumps a bit when Erik’s hand comes in view, picking the plate from his hand. “ _Let me_.” He says softly. “Sit at the dining table, dinner will be served.”

“You don’t have to –”

“Erik wants to, dear. Erik is sorry.”

Nadir gives a tiny smile, and he heads to the dining table, taking his seat. He watches Erik fill his plate, and warming it up in the microwave. Erik looks at him, his eyes half-lidded, ashamed. Surprisingly, he walks to Nadir, and kneels, so he’s on the same height as him.

“Erik shouldn’t have said those things. You give so much to Erik; a home, a family, and a cat. More than he deserves.” Erik grabs Nadir’s hand, rubbing his thumb over the back. “Forgive Erik.”

“I forgive you, Erik. But eshgham, you deserve all those things.” Nadir leans in, giving a little kiss on Erik’s lips, that turns into a smile. He kisses back.

The microwave beeps, and Erik rises, grabbing the plate. As promised, he serves the plate on the table with cutlery and a glass of juice. Nadir takes a bite, feeling much better. Erik nudges him.

“And?” he says.

“Hmm, needs more salt.” Nadir says grinning. Erik leans in, his lips close to Nadir’s ear, and it tickles.

“What did you say?”

“It needs more – _Erik_!” Nadir snorts when Erik attacks his neck with his lips, teasing. He laughs, dropping the fork on the plate, and he feels Erik pressing a tender kiss on his cheek. “I’m kidding, eshgham, it tastes good.” He grabs his fork again, taking another bite.

Erik smiles, before he walks to the living room to play with Ayesha. Reza appears again, with his laptop, and takes a seat next to Erik. Nadir thinks back at the conversation earlier, how he hated it, not wanting to be near Meg again. He didn’t like her tone; how she talked about _them_.

Her mother brought him in danger, no, not only him. His son too that day. He remembers Amir telling them how he threatened Giry and her daughter. Nadir does understand a bit why she would tell, but he won’t forgive her for bringing his family in danger. He won’t forgive Meg either for not warning him.

He has decided.

He coughs, and Erik looks up immediately, his eyes questioning. Nadir nods for him to come.

Erik gives Ayesha to Reza, while Nadir grabs his phone, searching Meg’s name on his contact list. When Erik sits next to him, he shows her address to Erik. “I want you to go to this address, and erase Meg’s memory of you, everything about people with magic, including her mother’s. Erase anything what can lead to you or me.”

Erik takes Nadir’s phone, reading the address. “Right now?” he asks.

“If you want. Like I said Erik, I do not like her.”

“Then I’ll go right now. I’ll take your phone with me, if something happens, I’ll call Reza. See you soon, dear.” Erik seems all too eager, and he heads to the hallway, putting his shoes and coat on. Not looking back, he leaves the apartment. Reza looks at Nadir, raising one eyebrow, while cuddling Ayesha.

“Father will be handling things.” Nadir says only.

*******

“ _Meg_? Is that you? You never visit so late.” Is what Erik hears when he walks through the hallway, not even trying to hide. It’s no wonder that Amir broke into this house so easily, even with the cold, Giry has her window wide open.  Her daughter was just as stupid; he dealt with her quickly, erasing her memory of him and her evening with Nadir. He asked her the address of her mother’s afterwards and left.

It’s been so long he heard Giry’s voice; it’s gotten older, but still firm. He enters the living room, seeing Giry sitting alone in her armchair, watching the television. She looks up at his appearance, and her eyes widen in fear, as if she sees a ghost. Maybe she does.

“ _Don’t scream and don’t move_.” Erik says quickly, not wanting to deal with pesky neighbors. Giry whimpers as Erik takes a seat on the couch. “It’s been a while, Giry. You don’t look all too happy to see me. Wasn’t I good to you? I let you live.”

“You’re a demon. You’ve killed innocents, my friends, you turned the asylum into a bloodbath.” she says, her voice trembling. Erik laughs, cold and short.

“It pains me to hear you say that. The asylum already was a bloodbath, with how we were treated. But I’m not here for old time’s sake, I’ve heard you brought a dangerous man to my partner. Not only that, your daughter decided to have a talk with him. My partner needs rest. He’s been through a lot in a short period of time, thanks to _you_.  Khanam was so kind to spill your name, and I should’ve erased your memories immediately after, but Nadir needed me. But I’m here, to finish it.”

“You’re going to erase my memory of you?”  Giry says, and she almost looks relieved.

“Yes, and you should be thanking Nadir. If it were on me, you would be dead, for what you did to him. I will be quick,” he flicks his hand, but stops when he sees Giry smiling.

“Finally, I won’t remember you.”

Erik smiles back. “Yes, indeed. Consider it a blessing.”

*******

Nadir is in bed when Erik returns, reading a book. Ayesha is sleeping next to him, her body curled up. He looks up, smiling, when Erik enters the bedroom. Erik sheds his clothes, pulling on his pajamas afterwards and lies next to Nadir, trying not to disturb Ayesha.

“Did you do it?” Nadir asks eventually, as he turns a page.

“Yes, dear. They won’t disturb us anymore. Hey, is Reza already in bed so early?”

Nadir shakes his head. “He is out with –” and he puts his book against his thighs, to use air quotes. “– _friends_.”

Erik frowns. “And you’re okay with that?”

“Not really, but he’s an adult, and I have to trust him.”

“Trust him? Like how he brought a stranger in our house? He had sex with a stranger… he didn’t even know his name. I can’t fathom how he can have sex with someone he doesn’t love.”

“Rebound, relief.” Nadir shrugs, and closes his book, putting it on his nightstand. “I was stupid too, thinking sex will solve everything, pressing my feelings away, but you always crawled back in my mind. No one was like you.”

He stands up from bed, picking Ayesha up. She lets out a small sound and Nadir puts her in the living room.

“You could’ve used your hand.” Erik says.

Nadir sighs, closing the door again. “Speaking of hands,” he turns, a grin showing up on his face. Erik knows that grin; Nadir is planning something. “I know that one time of you saying my fingers are better than your own.”  

Erik blushes, and suddenly he finds his nails very interesting. “I don’t remember saying that.”

“Oh no? Maybe I should refresh your memory.”

“Dear god, Nadir –”

“Like, you specifically said,” Nadir kneels on the bed, coming up to Erik, who turns more red. “ _’Better than my own fingers, fuck me Nadir_.’ though with more moaning behind it. So,” he’s so close, his lips barely touching Erik’s. “I want to know, when do you touch yourself?”

“When you’re at work.” Erik gulps. Gods, why is he telling him?

“I figured that much. Hmm,” Nadir pushes Erik’s pajama shirt up, baring his stomach. “Will you think of me?”

“Of course, who else?”  Erik hooks one leg around Nadir’s hips, and pushes him in, so their lips touch. They linger for a moment, savoring it. “Nadir, when did you become so –”

Nadir kisses his jaw. “Sshh, I want to know –”

A door opens, keys jiggling and then it slams shut again. Nadir’s eyes, first aroused and narrowed, widens in shock. He bolts off Erik, his foot misplaces, and he falls out of bed. A _thump_ can be heard. Erik burst out in laughing, seeing his lover on the floor. “Smooth as always!”

Nadir murmurs something under his breath, and he climbs up, hanging on the edge of the bed. A crimson blush is seen on his cheeks. “You love me…”

“Hmm, I sure do.” Erik looks up at the sound of footsteps behind their bedroom, but Reza doesn’t knock, walking pass it. Nadir stands up, concern in his eyes. “Shall we ask what’s wrong?” Erik suggests.

“No, he will come to us when he wants to, and we will be there for him. Be supportive.”  Nadir lies next to Erik, sighing deeply. “Oh, I wanted to have sex too…”

Erik chuckles. “I’m not going anywhere, dear. We can cuddle for now.”

“Hmm.” Nadir turns the lamp off on his nightstand, and lingers on Erik’s side, laying his head on Erik’s chest. They both listen to Reza moving around the apartment; stealing some snacks, turning his laptop on, more snacks, before he retreated to his own room.

Nadir falls asleep, his head still on Erik’s chest, and his arm over his waist. His breathing slow and deep. Erik plays with his hair softly, and smiles. His other hand lifts Nadir’s hand a little, looking at his fingers, especially his ring finger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can hear the bells...


	18. Dance at Rouen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Valentine special! I want to thank Mary for beta'ing this chapter, and giving me ideas. [smooches you]
> 
> Enjoy!

**6.23.1995 [past]**

_Erik and Nadir sat on the hill, watching the white church, in particular, at the new wed couple. People were throwing rice, and Erik saw Nadir frowning at the display, like he was confused. He pulled on Erik’s sleeve and pointed at  the gathering._

_“Why are they throwing rice?” he asked, curious, his accent still quite heavy._

_“It is considered life giving, to bestow the couple with fertility and many children. A load of crap, if you ask me.” Erik grabbed some grass, pulled it from the ground and threw it in the air. Nadir watched him._

_“We t-t-threw sugar, at my parents’ wedding.” Nadir said, imitating Erik with the grass. “My grandma says it is to give the couple a sweet life.”_

_“Hmm, a sweet life sounds so much better.” Erik lies on his back, watching the blue sky._

**12.18.1995**

_“Such weird little children.”_

_“Especially the foreigner, choosing to be friends with…_ that _. Always by his side, it’s disgusting. I swear, Margaret, one day I saw them holding hands. Boys don’t do that! That Madeleine doesn’t beat him up for that.”_

_Erik hid behind the bushes, waiting for Nadir, and he heard the old ladies talking as they walked by, not noticing him. Talked about them. He lifted his hand up, looking at his bony fingers. It shocked him too when Nadir for the first time grabbed his hand. But it felt good afterwards. What was wrong with feeling good?_

_“Hey, Erik, l-look what I have. My mom made it.”_

_Erik jumped a little when Nadir suddenly sat behind him, a lunch box in his hand. He opened it, and Erik saw something fried, in the shape of a ball. He didn’t know what it was._

_“I stole it,” Nadir said, all giddily. “It’s for dinner, but I c-can’t wait that long. It’s kibbeh.” He gave one to Erik, who curiously took a bite. Juice of ground beef and sliced onion with all kind of spices hit his tongue, and he moaned. It tasted delicious!_

_“Good, isn’t it?” Nadir grinned, one tooth still missing in the front._

_Erik nodded, and he took another bite. Nadir ate his with much enthusiasm like Erik, who then grabbed Nadir’s hand, holding it. Damn those ladies. Nadir raised his eyebrows, looking down at their hands, and then back to Erik, but said nothing. He even squeezed Erik’s hand._

_It felt good._

**8.13.1996**

_“W-we shouldn’t!”_

_“Oh, you coward! I just want to play the organ.”_

_Erik managed to unlock the door of the church, and he peeked his head inside, seeing nobody. He opened the door wider, and looked back at Nadir, who was still unsure. Rolling his eyes, he pulled Nadir inside, closing the door behind them. The church was gigantic, the ceiling high, but Erik only had eyes on the organ, that was sitting at the end of the pad._

_He ran, and he heard Nadir following him._

_“Look at this, Nadir! Isn’t she a beauty?” Erik trailed his fingers over the keys, grinning to Nadir, who nodded timidly. Erik sat on the bench, eager to play, and he almost jumped when Nadir pressed a key, the sound reverberating off the walls. Nadir laughed at his reaction._

_Erik gave him a grumpy look before he played, testing the keys. Nadir sat next to him, hands to himself, and he was smiling. Erik was into it, his spirit lifting, and he heard Nadir humming, his body swaying. Erik couldn’t help but smile too._

_“What are you kids doing here?” a deep voice interrupts them, from the front door._

_Erik turned around in shock, at the same time as Nadir. An adult walked towards them, flashlight in hand. “The church is closed, and it’s far too late for you kids to –” he stopped, his light shining on Nadir, who tried to hide behind Erik. The adult looked like he smelled something disgusting, his eyes hard on Nadir. Erik stood up, not liking this._

_“I’m sorry, we’re going.” he said politely, his head bowed._

_He grabbed Nadir’s sleeve, pulling his friend with him to the exit. Luckily, the adult said nothing behind their back, but the damage was already done. Nadir had his eyes casted down, tears in his eyes, knowing why the adult looked at him like that._

_Outside, and the door closed, Nadir sniffed._

_“I-I hate this village. Why do they hate us? We did nothing wrong. I want to go home, b-back to my country!”_

_“No…” Erik said, weakly. Nadir cocked his head up. “Then I… Then I won’t have a friend anymore.”_

_Nadir blinked, tears in his eyelashes. He nodded then, a smile appearing slowly, and he lifted his hand up, holding Erik’s hand. “Friends….”_

_“Yes.”_

**6.30.2007**

_He was damn gorgeous._

_Nadir stood at the side, paying attention to the dancing couple, so Erik could rudely stare at him. The turquoise tailcoat complimented his dark skin, and Erik liked to throw the mask off his face. No face so beautiful should be hidden. Then those emerald eyes caught his, and Erik stopped breathing._

_Nadir stared at him, curious as always, and Erik needed to be with him. He wanted Nadir to know he was still alive. That he was still utterly his. He strolled towards Nadir, without him noticing, and satisfaction fills him when he spooks Nadir. His eyes are big, in shock, and he took a step back._

_“H-hi.” He said, his voice weak. He has not changed at all._

_“Hello.”_

_Nadir didn’t recognize him, not even his voice, but he would know soon. Nadir started awkwardly, and Erik was sure he was blushing under his mask. Did he got that effect on Nadir? Surely not._

_Erik said he looked lonely, and Nadir glanced at the dancing couple, shaking his head. He told Erik he was the third wheel. So, there was no partner. No love interest. Erik almost grinned at the news. He reached his hand out to Nadir, who stared at it._

_“If you want, I can company you while they dance.”_

_“I can’t dance.”_

_Nadir was lying. Erik knew he can dance, saw it many times, as Nadir’s mother tried to keep their culture alive in their house, including the dances. Not saying that Nadir was a great dancer, but he knew the steps. It was Erik who can’t dance._

_“I don’t ask for a dance, just a simple walk around the building. Maybe in the garden?”_

_He was them to be alone, he wanted Nadir for his own. Nadir agreed with the walk, and Erik leaded him outside, away from the music. He will knew the truth._

**7.2.2007**

_“Hey, can we talk?”_

_Erik turned, to see Edward standing behind him. He enjoyed seeing the swimming lesson with Nadir and Reza, but he nodded to Edward, following him inside. Edward opened a notebook, a pen ready. “What do you want for dinner? I have to tell you, I can make great meatballs, my grandmother’s specialty. That old hag, maybe you want –”_

_“Strawberries.” Erik interrupted him. Nadir loved sweets, he remembered that, especially fruits. Maybe they could have a little date in this very room. Not romantic, by any standard, but they don’t had a lot of options. “I want strawberries.”_

_“Strawberries? That’s not exactly a meal, darling.”_

_God, how he wished Edward stopped calling him that. “It’s not for me. It’s for Nadir, I’m not hungry.”_

_Edward’s right eye twitched, but he smiled. “Sure. It’s written done.” and he left the room, his shoulders stiff._

_Yes. Erik nodded, picking his nails. Nadir loved strawberries. Erik would give him sweets. Would give him a sweet life, if he had to._

**8.5.2007**

_Nadir raised his hand, trying to grab him, but Erik took a step back. It hurt, and he loved to have Nadir back in his arms. He can’t do that. Not after what he did to him. Nadir deserved better. Why did he still want him?_

_He walked backwards, his eyes on his lover. Could he still call him that?_

_“No, no… Erik! Don’t leave me!”_

_Erik turned his back to him, tears falling from his eyes. He had to! He wouldn’t hurt Nadir anymore. He couldn’t forget the gunshot in his leg. All because of him. He was bad. He was a monster, even to his lover._

_“Erik! I love you!”_

_How could he possibly love him! He was a monster!_

_“I love you…”_

_Erik ran, away from those words, they were not true! Not true!_

**5.20.2020 [present]**

“You’re leaving!?” Nadir shrieks, his voice high. He looks at the bag Erik has put against the couch, and then to his father, who is waiting in the front door. Nadir is shaking his head, and Erik knows he should calm him. This trip is for him, but he can’t tell just now.

He kisses Nadir on the forehead, smiling to him, though his lover is frowning, not liking this unexpected news. Even Reza is pouting, his arms crossed. “Not for long, only two days.” he says to them.

“Why? I want to know why!”

“I can’t tell. It is... um, it is a surprise.”

“I’m going with you. Just wait a second, I’ll grab my –”

“No!” Erik says, firm. Nadir raises his eyebrows at him, surprised at his tone of voice. “Or else it won’t be a surprise anymore, is it? You have work here. I’ll come back in two days.”

“What is this surprise? It’s not my birthday, or Reza’s for that matter. Erik, I…” his voice lowers. “Don’t leave me again.”

Erik’s eyes widen, and he cups Nadir’s face with one hand. “I won’t leave you, don’t think that, dear. You’ll see me again in over two days.” he kisses him softly on the lips, hoping that will seal the deal, and Nadir throws his arms over Erik’s neck, pulling him in.

“Will I like the surprise?” he whispers.

“I hope so.”

Nadir sighs, nodding. “I’ll see you over two days. It better be good.”

He says goodbye to his lover, and then to his son. He scratches Ayesha behind her ear, and grabs his bag. He nods to Nadir’s father, that he is ready, and looks over his shoulder, seeing Nadir standing in the hallway, his eyes sad. It almost made Erik stay, but he closes the door.

He follows Nadir’s father to his car, sitting in the passenger seat. Nadir’s father starts the car, and automatically the radio starts and he drives. “Thank you, Mr. Khan.” He says, after five minutes being passed. “For picking me up.”

“Please, it’s Ali for you. I was surprised when I got a call for you, not giving me much details either. Now I’m curious, what is the surprise?” Ali takes a turn, passing the _Palais Garnier_.

Erik looks at the beautiful architecture first, swallowing, and then he locks his eyes with Ali. “I don’t know if I shall tell you when you’re driving.”

“Ohohooo! Now I’m really curious. Your eyes are serious too.” a smile appears, his eyes glistening. He stops at a traffic light.  “You can tell when we arrive home.”

The drive doesn’t take long, with no snow on the road, and Erik enjoys the scenery, changing from plain fields to mountains and hills. The last months were peaceful; Meg doesn’t bother Nadir after that night, Reza is more home though Erik can sense there’s something brewing behind the scenes. Christine tries to keep in contact through phone calls, though she mostly talk how great Raoul is, and what a great father he is to Lisa. It bored Erik to death. Nadir is back on a new case, which occupies him greatly, and Erik saw the great opportunity to plan his surprise.

He just didn’t expect Nadir to react so heavily.

Boscherville looks beautiful with the trees being green again, and flowers everywhere. Mrs. Khan welcomes him with open arms, and Erik hugs her. “I’m making your favorite meal today.” she says, and Erik thanks her.

He brings his bag to Nadir’s room first, unpacking, and his stomach is making turns. How shall he approach this? It’s maybe old-fashioned, but Erik wants their approval first. It’s their son. Putting the suit in the wardrobe carefully, for not to crinkle, and he goes downstairs. Nadir’s parents are waiting for him in the living room.

It’s now or never.

Erik sits in the armchair across them, trying to smile, but the nerves are killing him.

“Now, what’s the surprise?” Ali asks.

Erik taps his fingers against his knees, and exhales. “You know I love your son very much,” they nod. “It’s not always been great, I know, but I…” he takes a deep breath. Careful. “Iwanttomarryyourson.”

_Shit._

“Can you repeat that, my ears didn’t catch that.” Mrs. Khan says.

Erik gulps, now gripping his knees, swaying back and forward. “I want to… I want to marry your son.” He looks to Ali, who looks a bit shocked, his eyes big, and then to Mrs. Khan, who shares the same expression as her husband.

“Um, well, Nadir certainly will like this news,” Ali laughs. “thrilled even! Does he know?”

Erik shakes his head. “I want to ask him in Rouen, after two days. I want to plan something first.”

“Then why tell us first?” Mrs. Khan asks.

“I want your approval.”

“ _In chieh_? Our approval? The Erik I know does what he pleases, ah!”

“Malika, _please_. Erik, I really appreciate that you tell us first, but Nadir is the first to know. We don’t control over who he marries or not. If he marries you, we won’t object.” Ali says, a smile on his face. Mrs. Khan looks at her husband first, then back to Erik, nodding at last.

Erik smiles of sheer relief.

“But,” says Ali, raising a finger. Erik’s smile drops. “We do want to see our future son-in-law’s face.”

It feels like someone drop a brick in his stomach, and Erik swallows. “You don’t want to see my face. I’m disfigured.”  And yet, his fingers touch his mask already. He wants to be in this family. He wants this family to accept him. _This family_ …

“Show us your face, boy. If our son can look at your face, then we surely.”

Sighing, seeing not much choice, and he pulls his mask up, showing his face to his (maybe?) future parents-in-law. Mrs. Khan gasps, her hand going to her mouth. Ali stays quiet, scratching his mustache. “Does it hurt?” he asks eventually.

Erik shakes his head. “No. But Nadir insists putting ointment on it, every morning.”

Mrs. Khan giggles then. “That’s our boy.”

*******

Nadir doesn’t want to look or sound desperate, or even pathetic, because seriously, it’s only the second day. He gets to see Erik tomorrow, but his body is tired, not having enough sleep last night. No matter how deep he pushes his nose in Erik’s pillow; it’s not the same. He needs to feel Erik around him. Smell him. Hear his breathing. Why is he reacting like this?

He’s pathetic.

In the evening he picks up his phone and calls Erik. He got his lover a cheap phone somewhere in March, and Erik always carries it with him. His lover picks up after the third ring, and it feels good to hear his voice. It immediately puts a smile on Nadir’s face.

“ _Hey, dear, how’s it going_?” Erik’s voice is warm, but he sounds like he’s whispering. Strange.

“I miss you.” Nadir is not even trying to hide his feelings. “I miss you being here.”

Erik chuckles softly. “ _I miss you too, but tomorrow we’ll see each other again_.”

“I can’t wait to –”

“ _Here you are, sweetie_.” an unknown very feminine male voice interrupts from Erik’s line. Nadir blinks, taken aback by the last word. Did he just call Erik _sweetie_? Or to someone else?

“ _Ah, thank you_.” Erik replies, his voice a bit distant, away from his phone.

“ _Always happy to help such an attractive face_.” the stranger replies – no, _flirts_.

Now Nadir frowns, not believing what he’s hearing. “Erik?” he says, a bit loud. In the corner of his eye he sees Reza looking up from his laptop. Erik grunts, and Nadir hears him walking, a bell chiming. “ _Erik!_ ”

“ _Sorry, dear, I had to pick something up. Everything is okay_.” His voice is clear again, but tired, and Nadir can hear people chatting and walking in the background. What the hell is going on?

Nadir doesn’t believe that story for a second. “N-no! A person was flirting with you! He… Erik, are you…” is there someone else with Erik? No. Erik won’t cheat on him. He won’t. Don’t be pathetic.

“Dad?” Reza says, worried.

“ _Sorry, dear, I’m very busy. I have to hang up. I need to clear some things up before tomorrow. I love you_.” and he hangs up, not even waiting for an response. Nadir stares at his phone, speechless. What was that? Who was that guy?

“Dad?” Reza repeats.

“Not now, Reza! I need to… I need to go!” but he doesn’t have a car. He sold his old one years ago. How will he get to _Boscherville_? Christine or Raoul aren’t in Paris, so he can’t loan their car for a while. Nadir curses, and opens his phone again. He searches for garages that are still open, and hopefully, rent cars.

Sadly, every garage is closed he finds out, and Nadir kicks against the leg of the dining table in frustration, hurting his foot in the process. Reza closes his laptop. “What is going on?” he asks. “Did something happen to father?”

“Oh! Something will happen to him!” Nadir growls. He stomps to the kitchen to grab a bottle of Scottish whiskey, pouring himself a glass, putting ice cubes in it. He stays in the kitchen, not wanting Reza to see him drinking, like a fool. The alcohol burns in his throat, and it feels good.

He is a fool – to think that Erik will stay by his side for once. The last months were perfect, Erik nuzzling in the early morning, begging for morning kisses. Erik being a father to Reza, sometimes even giving advice that Nadir could not give. Was it an act?

No. He said he was preparing a surprise. Maybe he bought something.

 _With what money? He doesn’t have a job_ , a voice whispers in his mind.

Nadir pours another glass, frowning.

_The person called him a sweetie and attractive. He’s none of those things._

_That’s not true_ , Nadir thinks. He slams the glass on the counter, a bit too hard, and walks in the direction of his bedroom. Reza looks up again, more concerned.

“Dad –”

The door closes.

*******

Nadir doesn’t sleep, again, and he is sure he has bags under his eyes. He is exhausted, but agitated nonetheless, thinking about the male voice non-stop. In the morning, he shaves his beard and mustache after like a year, hoping for a distraction. It’s strange to see his chin and jaw again. He splashes cold water in his face, trying to calm down, also to get rid of the alcohol smell. Erik doesn’t cheat. He doesn’t!

 _But he did leave you_ , an too familiar voice creeps back in his mind. _He left you_.

Nadir shakes his head, as if that helps him get rid of the voice. He wants those insecurities gone. Erik stayed by his side the last half year. He won’t leave him. He promised.

 _He broke a promise once. He will do it again_ , the voice says.

Nadir growls, drying his face and exits the bathroom, and Reza almost drops his bowl of cereal.

 “ _Jesus!_ For a second I thought you were a stranger. Damn dad, why the shave?” Reza says, a smile up in a corner. Nadir rubs his hand over his face.

“Erik might like it.” he says. As if Erik cares. _Then why do it?_

Reza snorts. “Father will like you no matter what, even if your beard reach your belly and stink to rotten cheese. Seriously, dad.” he shakes his head, while taking a seat at the dining table. Ayesha walks in-between Nadir’s legs, meowing for food. He gives her canned food, with bits of tuna in it.

Then he waits for Erik to arrive, which makes Reza nuts, as he sits in the arm chair, then stands up to space in the living room. Four times over. At three in the afternoon there’s a knock on the front door, and Nadir sprints to it. Ayesha runs to hide under the table, shocked by Nadir’s speedy behavior, while Reza rolls his eyes upwards.

Nadir opens the door, and sees his father to his surprise. He booms out a laugh when Nadir puckers out a frown, displeased. “Did you expect Erik? Oh no, you have to come and see him!” he laughs.

“But he said he will return today! I do not understand – father! Where was he yesterday?”

“Oho, I can’t tell that, or else there would be no surprise. Change your clothes for a suit, you look awful. Chop chop!”

 _A suit_? _Why_? Oh, what does it matter. He wants to see Erik and ask what is going on.

Nadir walks to his bedroom, searching for his latest suit, which he wore during a gala with his co-workers. It still fits him, and he puts on his black, pointy shoes. He fixes his black bow tie before he returns to his father, who nods approvingly. Nadir turns to his son.

“Well, it seems I’ll be gone for a while. Don’t bring strangers to my house like last time.” He warns. “I will _know_.”

Reza groans in annoyance, and then he waves his hand. “Go!”

The drive is quiet, the radio set low, and Nadir can see his father is very enthusiastic, more than usual. He knows he won’t get an answer if he asks why he’s acting like that. He asks himself why he has to wear a suit? They won’t be going to a performance, right? Erik is not one for big social events, maybe if he could hide.

He searches for potential answers, but none of them makes sense. He notices his father taking the road to _Rouen,_ and is confused. Isn’t Erik in _Boscherville_?

“Father, you took the wrong turn.” he says.

“No, Erik told me to go to Rouen. I have the address.”

Now Nadir is more confused. What is there in _Rouen_? What – his eyes widen at the realization, hitting him. “Oh.” He blinks, thinking back at the masked ball. The music, Christine and Raoul dancing, and Erik revealing himself.

The sun is dawning when his father parks at the familiar building. It’s been thirteen years. It feels unreal to be back here. Rest of the parking space is empty, no car in sight, and Nadir is a bit suspicious. “Hmm.”

“Well, Erik will be waiting for you inside. The rest is up to you.”

“Wait – I can just walk inside? There’s no one!”

“Well, I don’t know how Erik fixed this entirely, but I’m impressed. I only had a box of chocolates – I mean, what are you waiting for. Go to your lover!”

“Okay, okay.”

Nadir steps out the car, taking the building in; it looks closed, not inviting as thirteen years ago. It was filled with people back then. He looks back at his father, who impatiently waves to him, to go forward. Nadir heads to the building, and places his hand on the door handle, expecting to be locked, but it opens. He pokes his head inside. “ _Hello_?”

The hall is empty, even the lights are out, and yet Nadir walks in, his eyes looking everywhere. It’s been so long he’s been here, and he doesn’t recognize anything. A sudden bark makes him jump, and with scared eyes he looks how a _blue_ little dog passes him. Waves of smoky light follows the dog, and Nadir gets hit by nostalgia. He remembers, and he forgets his worries.

He walks further into the hall, following the dog but also taking everything in; the high ceiling, the new painted white walls and the floor is so shiny he can see himself in it.

Then there’s music.

It comes from his right, from the ball room and Nadir walks towards it, hurried steps. The dog walks right through the door, disappearing. Nadir opens the big wide doors with both hands and the sight he sees makes him gasp; Big candle holders are standing near the walls, and countless candles light the room. The big curtains are open, showing the garden and the darkening sky. The three big chandeliers are still hanging on the ceiling, with the lights out, but still a heavy present in the room. Nadir remembers.

Nadir walks inside, his mouth open in surprise. He searches for Erik, but no sign from him in this room either. The dog circles around Nadir’s legs, tongue lolling out, before it spats into sparkles. The wavy light floats for a while. Music plays from the speakers above, it’s classic, but Nadir doesn’t know the piece. Probably Chopin’s. He strolls to the window, looking over the garden, at the fountain. Erik revealed himself there.

In the window he sees Erik appearing at the door, and he turns. He wears a dark red three-piece-suit, with a red bowtie. His hair is slicked back, his white mask on his face as always, and Nadir is blown away. He feels underdressed with his simple black suit and black bow tie. He didn’t even comb his hair.

“You shaved.” Erik says, his voice echoing in the mostly empty room. “You haven’t aged a bit. I’m the one supposing to  surprise you.”

“I – I… All of this,” Nadir gestures the whole room, at the candles and the music. “is for me?”

“Yes. Do you like it?”

“Do I…” a lump grows in Nadir’s throat, and he curses at himself. How can he ever doubted his lover? He is a fool. He hates his insecurities. This voice in his head. “I love it, Erik. Thank you.”

Erik walks towards him, and Nadir meets him halfway, sniffing. “Why are you sad?” Erik asks, bringing his hand up, rubbing Nadir’s cheek with his thumb.

“I’m not. I’m happy. Oh Erik, you look beautiful.”

“Now I know something is up.” Erik says, but he’s smiling. “Maybe it’s time for glasses.”

Nadir chuckles at that, but he really wants to cry, apologize, but Erik drops his hand from Nadir’s cheek, resting it on his hip, distracting him. “Erik, what –”

“My good sir, may I have this dance? I picked the finest of music.” Erik asks, all polite, as the music changes.

Nadir looks into his amber eyes, shining, thanks the many burning candles. He nods. “Yes.”

The hand on his hip is more firm, and Erik leads. Nadir follows his steps, and notices quickly that Erik learnt to dance, and he wants to know _when_. But he empties his mind, and concentrates on Erik, looking into his eyes. They do not break eye contact during the whole dance, nor did they step on each other’s toes for once. It feels magical, with the soft piano music playing in the background and Erik’s light touches.

Nobody around them. Only them.

“Do you remember, Nadir? God, you were the most gorgeous man in the room. You still are.” Erik whispers. Nadir duck his head, smiling uncontrollably. He looks like a mess right now.

“I do remember, Erik. To think, I didn’t want to come to the ball first. That summer was so hot.” Nadir replies, just so softly. He looks up again, still smiling. “I wanted you to kiss me so bad.”

Their bodies are close, but still moving to the music. Embracing each other’s warmth. Erik takes a deep breath, his bottom lip trembling, before he smiles too.

Nadir doesn’t know how long they danced, nor does he care, he wants to stay in this room. With the music, the candles and Erik’s warmth pressed against his body. No more insecurities. It’s when his feet begin to tire, he notices the stars up in the sky outside. Erik sees him looking, and stops abruptly. “Do you want some fresh air, dear?”

He wants to stay in the room, yes, but a fresh breath of air does sound nice. “Yes. Can we walk in the garden?”

Erik nods, and Nadir walks beside him to the door that leads them outside. The fresh air does Nadir good, and he can smell the flowers and the fresh mowed grass. “You’ve outdone yourself, Erik.” he whispers, afraid if he talks normal, the magic will be gone. Erik squeezes his hand. With his other hand he lets out blue little light bubbles from his finger tops. The bubbles fly between the flowers like little butterflies. _Illusions_ , Nadir realizes.

Nadir sits on the edge of the fountain, so his feet can rest, and Erik keeps standing. Nadir looks up to him, wondering why he won’t sit next to him, and sees Erik picking his nails; a nervous habit. “Eshgham?”

Erik casts his eyes down, looking at him, tears dropping. Nadir is shocked. “Erik –”

“Nadir,” Erik drops on his knees, scaring Nadir, making his pants dirty. Blue lights scatter everywhere. Erik pulls his mask off, laying it on the ground. His face vulnerable. “Nadir, Nadir… my dear,” he grabs Nadir’s left hand, kissing his knuckles. Nadir worries. What is going on? “This night I’ve been preparing is because I love you very much. You’ve always showed love, by being my best friend, accepting me though you know what I did. This may be too quick, but I can’t wait any longer.”

Nadir’s heart hammers in his chest when Erik grabs a small red velvet box from his inside pocket. The lump grows back in his throat, and he swallows, trying to control himself. He did not expect this, he did not dare to think. Never in his –

“My dear,” Erik opens the small box, showing two golden rings on a white cushion. Nadir whimpers, sniffing. “Do you want to marry me?”

Tears leak over his cheeks, not stopping, and he tries to wipe it away, pressing the palm of his hand against his eyes. Erik wants to – Erik wants to be by his side. He drops his hands, looking at his lover, who is trying his best not to cry. “ _B-baleh_!” he falls back to his native language. “ _Baleh_!”

Erik’s eyes shine more brighter, crying too now, and he smiles widely. His hand holding the box trembles, and he has trouble to pick the ring. Nadir helps him, by holding the box. Erik licks his lips, as he slides the ring on Nadir’s finger. It fits perfectly.

Nadir does the same for Erik, and he kisses on it. Tears still slipping. “They’re beautiful.” He looks at his own, not believing it. Erik closes the box, slipping it back in his pocket. He leans in, and presses his lips on Nadir’s. It’s short, just lips touching lips, but Nadir never felt so happy. It’s salty, with the tears, but Nadir doesn’t care.

“Dooset daram, dooset daram…” Nadir whispers against Erik’s lips.

Another kiss.

“I love you too. Oh god, I can’t believe you said yes… Oh god.” he lays his head on Nadir’s lap, still crying, and Nadir twirls his fingers in Erik’s hair, smiling.

“Like I said, Erik,” Nadir says, and his lover looks up, eyes red. Nadir wipes his tears away.”I will be by your side, no matter what.”

Erik recognized those words, back in Spain, and more tears drop. “Even if I kill someone –”

“Even when you kill a thousand men more, to protect me, yourself or our son in the future. I’ll still be by your side. I will kill them myself if I have to.”

And what does that say about him? Nadir never thought himself as perfect, he remembers the thrill he felt when he stabbed Amir in the knees. The satisfaction. How he felt relief when Erik told them he killed everyone in the asylum, thought they deserved it.

Erik still looks at him, his eyes wide, like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. Nadir bows down, and Erik leans up at the same time, their lips crashing. Their kiss is desperate now, their hands clawing at each other, Erik pressing his body against Nadir’s.

Nadir almost falls into the fountain, and he clings quickly on Erik’s shoulders, moaning. Erik sucks on his bottom lip, dragging and biting softly. Nadir looks at him half-lidded, with Erik staring back. They pant against each other’s lips.

“Dooset daram.” Nadir whispers.

“Manam dooset daram.”

*******

His parents are waiting in the parking place when they leave the building (blowing the candles took forever), and his mother has her hands over her mouth, waiting in anticipation. They knew. Nadir smiles timidly to them, and shows the ring.

His mother squeals, clapping her hands, and his father is smiling. They congratulate them, his father slamming his hand on Erik’s back, laughing. His mother is crying now, whispering in their native language how she can’t believe her son is going to marry.

They bring them back to _Boscherville_ , and Nadir almost falls asleep against Erik’s side. He keeps staring at the ring, still not believing it, just a few hours ago he thought Erik was going to leave him for someone else, and now he’s engaged to him. 

At home, Nadir tells he’s tired and wants to sleep, and Erik follows him to his bedroom. His father yells behind them to keep their hands above the covers, making him blush in embarrassment. They undress together, and step into bed, their bodies close.

Erik trails his fingers over Nadir’s cheek, smiling. “I can’t wait to be Mr. Khan.” he says, his voice tired. He tucks under Nadir, who places his chin on Erik’s head.

“Erik Khan… I like that.” Nadir closes his eyes, wrapping his arm over Erik’s shoulder. “My husband…” well, not yet, but he can start using it.

“Yes, your husband.” and Erik seems to agree.

Nadir falls asleep shortly, with Erik’s warm body against his.

When he wakes again, it’s still dark, and there’s no body next to his. He groans as he shifts, rubbing his eyes. He blinks, and sees Erik standing at the window. He looks outside, his eyes hard. Nadir knows this look. Another nightmare.

“Eshgham.”

Erik jumps a bit at hearing his voice, and he turns to him. Nadir opens the covers, and taps on the mattress. Erik glances outside again for a second, before he steps into bed, lying next to Nadir, who nuzzles his neck. “Will you tell me?” he whispers.

“I… I was back in the van.” Erik answers.

“Hmm,” he kisses Erik’s shoulder. “Is that why you looked outside?”

“Yes, there’s no van. No Khanam trying to capture me… or…” he doesn’t finish his sentence, but he doesn’t have to. Nadir knows. He places his hand on Erik’s cheek, turning his head so his lover has to look at him. His eyes are soft now, searching Nadir. “They… They touched me.”

“No one will touch you again in that way. Never again.” Nadir pulls his hand back, sliding it over Erik’s arm, protective. Erik smiles, kissing him shortly on the lips. As he pulls back, Nadir leans in, capturing his lips again. “Come here.” he pushes Erik on his side, so he can wrap both his arms around his lover. Erik doesn’t protest, even nuzzling Nadir’s chest.

Nadir begins to hum the song, hoping that will calm Erik completely. He rather feels than sees how Erik softens in his arms, his shoulder slumping. His eyes are closed, his head softly against his chest. Asleep, Nadir hopes. He keeps humming, his hand playing with Erik’s hair, twirling between his fingers, until he himself falls asleep.

*******

In the morning he gets awake by the sound of utensils rattling. He blinks a few times, wondering what’s happening, and sees Erik walking in the room with a tray in his hands. He still doesn’t wear his mask, and he places the tray on the bedside table. He sits on the edge of the bed, a small smile on his face. Nadir looks what’s on the tray; two fresh baked croissants, two boiled eggs, two cups of jasmine tea, and Nadir chuckles at the one pink glazed donut.

“I guess,” he says, his voice still raspy with sleep. “that one is for me? Are you trying to get me fat?”

“Spoil you.” Erik replies. He grabs the donut, and breaks it in four pieces. He pushes one piece against Nadir’s lips, making it pink with the glaze. Nadir smiles tiredly, but he opens his mouth, eating it. He sits upright, not wanting to be pampered to the extreme, and grabs another piece. Erik stares at him, a look in his eyes Nadir can’t describe.

“Hmm, what’s wrong?” Nadir asks after swallowing.

“Did something happen while I was gone? Something to Reza?” Erik picks the cup of tea, putting it against his lips.

Nadir raises his browns at the questions. “No, nothing happened.”

“Don’t lie, Nadir. You were sad when I first saw you yesterday.”

Oh _that_. Was it so noticeable? Nadir sighs, not wanting to tell, embarrassed. “It’s stupid, don’t worry.”

“More the reason you should tell me, maybe we can laugh at it.” Erik puts the cup down again.

“No, that’s not what I… Erik, who was the guy? When I called. I heard a voice…”

Erik frowns a little, thinking, and Nadir feels more ridiculous; he doesn’t even remember! He wants to open his window and jump away from this embarrassment. Then Erik snaps his fingers.

“ _Him_! He gave me those beautiful rings. You have to forgive me, since I don’t have money, but it’s the –”

“He called you attractive.” Nadir interrupts. Back in his mind he already knew Erik didn’t pay for the rings; he doesn’t mind. He wants answers now they’re talking about it.

“But dear, aren’t I attractive? Surely, a man like yourself did fall for me.” Erik shakes his head, closing his eyes for a second. He then stares at Nadir again. “There’s something I haven’t told you. The lights yesterday? The dog?” Nadir nods, interested. “All illusions, but I think you figured that out. But there’s something I can do too, but it hurts a lot. It gives me a few minutes, to make me feel… like a normal person. M-maybe I should show you.”

“No, not if it hurts you, just tell me, Erik.”

Erik’s eyes look unsure. “I – I can change my face, for a couple of minutes. A normal face. I went into the jeweler shop without my mask, that’s why he said that. I’m not having an affair.” Erik snorts at that.

“It was wrong of me to think that, I have a loving fiancé.” he sees Erik smiling at the last word. “Changing your face, ah? I should be surprised, but really, I expect everything from you by now. I don’t want to see it, not if it hurts you. Besides,” he grabs the third piece of the donut, pushing it against Erik’s lips, making his pink with the glaze. “I already find you attractive.” He pulls the donut back, leaning in to press his lips against Erik’s sugary ones. He licks the glaze away, sucking on it. Erik kisses back, his hand up on Nadir’s jaw.

“We should finish our breakfast.” Erik murmurs against Nadir’s lips. “And return home, where we can do what you’re planning to do.”

“And what am I planning to do?” Nadir kisses Erik’s jaw, while his hand goes between Erik’s legs, and Erik is quick to grab his wrist. Nadir grins teasingly, and he nuzzles his fiancé’s neck. “Come on, Erik. Just a quickie.”

“No, you horndog. Not when your parents are downstairs. Eat your breakfast, and we can finish it home.” Erik turns his head, but Nadir grabs his chin between his fingers and turns his head again to look at him.

“Okay, I know when no means no, but you need to promise, at home?”

“At home.”

*******

 Nadir opens the door to his apartment, and listens. No moans or grunts from strange men. Or his son. Pleased, he walks further with Erik following him, closing the door. The television is on, but Nadir sees no one in the living room. Ayesha comes running from her scratch post, meowing like crazy, rubbing her head against Erik’s left leg.

Nadir inspects the living room, but nothing seems out of the ordinary, the only question is –

“Where is Reza?” Erik asks behind him. “He is free today.”

“I don’t –”

“I’m here!”

A toilet flushes and Reza comes out the bathroom, smiling. Nadir gives a sigh of relief; he really is becoming paranoid. He smiles back to his son. “Reza, I –”

“Yeah, yeah, I brought no one home with me. But I’m planning to bring someone with me, to introduce.”

Nadir blinks, surprised at the news. “Oh?” he looks at Erik, and judging his eyes, he’s surprised too. He looks back at his son, who is turning scarlet, nervous all of a sudden. “Who?”

“M-my new girlfriend. We’ve been dating for a month, and it’s going well. I really like her.” Reza says, his eyes shining. Nadir knows that look all too well; his son is smitten. He doesn’t understand why he’s being nervous about it.

“We will like to meet her, don’t we, Erik?” he nudges his fiancé with his elbow. Erik nods immediately, though Nadir doesn’t get the feeling he’s happy about it.

“Great! Then I’ll tell her that. So, how was the surprise, dad? Disappointing?” Reza chuckles, and he picks Ayesha up when she began to rub her head against his leg. Erik looks at Reza, his mouth in a straight line, not amused.

Nadir lifts his left hand up, showing the ring. Reza stares at it, not sure what’s so special, before he gasps, almost dropping Ayesha. “T-That’s – dad! Father, _holy fuck_! Are you serious! Oh my god, do you have a date yet?”

“No date yet,” Erik answers. “But soon.”

“I – I don’t know what to say, but my god, I didn’t expect this. Of course I’m happy. Is it going to be a big wedding? Or small? Oh god, I’ll arrange the cake, with strawberry filling – we do need a cake!” Reza says enthusiastically. Ayesha meows, like she agrees with him.

Nadir smiles. “You can arrange the cake. But it will be a small wedding, I guess, probably only your grandparents and you.”

“No,” Erik says. “I want Christine to be my witness.”

“Oh,” Nadir nods, understanding. “Then you have to tell her, eshgham. Maybe, she can bring Lisa.” He realizes now how he never met Christine’s child, and he feels a bit ashamed, but then again; Christine never talked about her with him. She does with Erik.

He likes to meet her.

The next hours goes quietly, with Reza mostly behind his laptop, headphones on. Ayesha begs for food, meowing all the time, which drives Nadir mad. Erik takes care of her, and cleanse the house. When it hits night, it’s like Reza comes to live, saying he’s going to his girlfriend.

Erik, who’s in the kitchen preparing dinner, looks up from cutting the onions. He glances at Nadir, and then to Reza, something going on behind his eyes. Nadir can’t really tell.

“Dinner is not ready.” Erik says when Reza puts his summer jacket on.

“I’ll eat something on the way.” Reza says absently. He leaves the apartment without even saying goodbye, and Erik slams the knife he’s holding on the counter, startling Nadir. He rises from the couch, going to his lover.

“Is there something, Erik? I have a feeling you don’t like the idea of him having a –”

“I don’t believe him. Do you?” Erik turns, and for a second Nadir thinks he’s mad, but his eyes look concerned.

“Yes. I do believe him. He looks completely smitten. He had the same look as with Amal.”  Nadir says truthfully. He _raised_ Reza; he knows when he’s lying.

Erik stares at him for a while, and then closes his eyes. “Okay, sorry, I’m just…” he flicks his hand. “Concerned.”

“I can see,” Nadir rubs a hand over Erik’s arm, and sighs. He also know his lover. “You know what, I’ll finish dinner. Follow Reza.”

“Dear –”

“I know you want to. If it calms your mind, please go.”

Erik kisses his forehead, smiling. “I’ll be quick.”

“You better be. Dinner is almost ready.”

Erik chuckles, and he leaves the apartment just as quickly as Reza, not bothering with a coat. Nadir shakes his head, smiling, and then looks at the cut onions. What is he making?

***

Nadir ends up making spaghetti with tiny beef meatballs. After an hour, Erik still hasn’t returned, and the sun is setting. Worry fills Nadir as he turns off the stove, and the need to grab his phone and call Erik grows with each passing minute. When the sun is gone, he picks his phone from his pocket and dials Erik’s phone number. Ayesha jumps on the couch, and she noses him, like she could smell his worry.

Then the front door opens, and Nadir hears the basic jingle from Erik’s phone. He turns his phone off, and the jingle stops. He shifts to see Erik walking in the living room, wearing a smile on his face. All the worries drop.

“I told you.” he rubs in. “How is she?”

“She’s a nice girl. I think you will like her when Reza brings her here. So, what did you make?” Erik asks, already going to the kitchen. “Oh, spaghetti. Not what I was planning, but that’s okay.”

“Okay? You show up late, and you’re saying it’s okay? Why have I ever – _what in the_ –!”

Suddenly, hands hook under his armpits and pulls him off the couch with great strength. Nadir gives a yelp, his feet kicking, and Ayesha runs to hide. “That’s okay,” Erik says behind him, dragging his feet over the floor. “because I’m hungry for something different.”

“What – what then?”

“You.”


	19. Awakening

**3.14.2004 [past]**

_“Monsters like him can’t be tamed. Only by the whip for a short time.”_

_They were in the dining room again, Erik obedient next to the wench, his knees on the floor, and the gag ever present in his mouth. Only now, there was no pet next to Javert. He had heard that Javert had her killed; she was useless now._

_“Like you saw yesterday, your pet didn’t do anything to him. I’ve heard of pets with sexual powers. Very rare I hear.” the wench continues._

_Javert grunted. “Very rare. Most of the time they don’t even know they have powers. Don’t question that everybody says yes to them when they flirt. Why would they, things of beauty.”_

_“You are very interested in them.”_

_“How can I not. I’ve got to learn a lot while keeping them in prison. They all have their own way to attract people they like. Some dance, some sing… some use their face only. Those are the true beauties. I’ve learned they can fall in love, really tragic.”_

_“Oh? Why tragic?” said the wench, and Erik could hear she was interested as well._

_“When they fall in love, they can only love that person. They cannot fall in love again, like we do. They can have sex with others, but it doesn’t fulfill their need. Without love, they can fall into depression, neglect themselves, to the point of killing themselves. Or get obsessive, searching for their partner, getting crazy and having hallucinations. It was a nice experiment.”_

_“If their partner dies?”_

_“They die too.”_

_“What if they die earlier than their partner?”_

_“The partner dies with them.”_

_“How cruel.” The wench said, amused, raising her glass of wine. “I love it. But still, pathetic little creatures. They’re useless.”_

_“They’re not when they learn how to use their powers. She was my best, but you beat me. Sad, now I have to train another.”_

_The wench laughed, short and coldly. “No creature of that sort will tame my monster.”_

_“Aren’t you a bit curious as to why her powers didn’t work on him?”_

_The wench rolled her eyes. “No. Do I need to repeat myself that they’re useless?”_

_“They’re not!” Javert slammed his hand on the table, and Erik looked up, staring at his greasy face. “When they claim properly, their partner will do everything. They don’t have to say anything like your ugly thing.”_

_“I think dinner time is over.”_

**5.23.2020 [present]**

“Oh god, Nadir…”

“Ssshh, you’re being very good,” Nadir holds Erik’s hips, firm, and sees Erik spreading his legs far as he can, so Nadir can go deeper. A long, deep moan comes out Erik’s mouth. “You’re taking me in so good.”

Erik has his hands above his head, completely at Nadir’s mercy, and seeing Erik like this, so wantonly, waiting for whatever Nadir chooses to do with him, it thrills Nadir. He bends over Erik, feeling his cock slipping deeper in the tight heat, and kisses him. He begins to thrust softly, and feels Erik’s sharp moans against his lips.

Erik has his eyes tight shut, the hands above his head are curled in fists, and Nadir knows he won’t last long; despite being together for a half year, having sex is still so foreign to Erik, even the simplest of touch makes him gasp. Though they experiment a lot, Erik still keeps this kind of innocence which baffles Nadir.

His lover rocks back against his thrusts, and rubs his erection against Nadir’s stomach. Even the littlest fraction makes Erik buck his hips, and come between their bodies.

His eyelids flutter, and Nadir can feel his thighs trembling with the release. It doesn’t take long or Nadir spent himself inside Erik, gasping. The air between is thick, and Nadir can smell the sweat and sex, suffocating. He feels pleased, and a wave of pleasure goes through his body.

He pulls out, wanting to lie on his back, but Erik wraps his legs over Nadir’s hips, and pushes his body against his. Their lips meet again, tongues twirling against each other.

“How are you feeling?” Nadir asks, holding Erik close, feeling his pulse against his skin. It’s rapid.

“Like I’m dying.” Erik groans. “But it feels great.”

Nadir chuckles, deep and low.

*******

“Is that a ring? _Did you shave_!?”

Darius drops his paper work on the tiled floor when Nadir put his jacket on the rack. He blinks at Darius, and sees his other co-workers looking curiously, at his left hand, to be specific. Meg almost causes whiplash to herself just to watch. Nadir doesn’t like to be the center of attention and shrugs it off. He walks to his desk, starting his computer, and he hears Darius stomping behind him, forgetting his paper work on the floor. He grabs Nadir’s left arm, and lifts his hand up, inspecting his ring.

“You never told me you were with someone! “ Darius accuses.

“I did, Darius.” Nadir replies dryly, yanking his arm free. “But you didn’t believe me.”

“I – I – shit, is it serious? I’m sorry. I thought you were married to this job. This explains your odd behavior. A bit.”

“My odd behavior?” Nadir raises an eyebrow, sitting on his desk chair. Some of his co-workers are back to work, and some aren’t, still listening, including Meg. He gives them stares, but it doesn’t help at all. Darius sees the stares too, and he kneels, close to Nadir.

“Yes. The sudden vacation, eager to leave the station, and you don’t talk about Erik or the case. It still freaks me out how no one remembers him or the others. It feels like a wicked dream, as if it’s only in my head. You acted distant, and I thought it was because you were off the case. Now I see you’re with someone. Hey man, I’m really happy for you.” Darius looks again at the ring.

“Hmm,” Nadir blinks again, not knowing what to say. “Thank you.”

“I mean it, also, no more calls of your stalker?”

Nadir shakes his head. “Nothing. He is gone… or she. I don’t know what happened.”

“Really? How lucky… I –”

“Darius,” Nadir interrupts, seeing his boss walking into the department, a sour expression  on his face. “Pick up your papers, _now_.” He nods to the boss’ direction. Darius follows the nod, and then in panic he runs to his scattered papers, picking them up.

Nadir is glad for the distraction, but not liking how much Darius remembers. Unlike Meg, he _does_ like Darius. He is his best friend, though he does admit the last months he had his eyes more on the missing child case or his family. Should he ask Erik to erase Darius’ memories? It won’t hurt.

He begins his work steadily, no interruptions. The day drags on, and Nadir doesn’t get further in this case, driving him nuts. He looks at his surroundings, seeing how others are working hard, and Nadir feels out of place. Before Erik, he worked here day and night, until his bones were tired. It was miserable.

And now, he wants to go home and lie in bed, Erik beneath his body preferably. Allah, he never was like this before, and he would think with the amount of sex they’re having, he will be dead tired. No. His body has more energy than ever. He wonders where it comes from. Late in the afternoon, when Nadir just wants to be done, he gets a text on his phone. It’s Erik.

(17:10) **We’re eating tomato soup with grilled cheese tonight. Reza’s girlfriend will be visiting. She’s something, Reza told me.**

(17: 11) _and you will stay home when she’s there? that surprises me more and what does he mean with she’s something?_

(17:13) **By something he means she’s like him and me. One particular power she has, she can sense when people have powers.**

(17:14) _her other powers?_

(17:14) **Boring. She can let things float.**

(17:15) _that’s pretty cool like you don’t have to use your hands anymore i would never use my hands_

(17:17) **Please use a comma for god’s sake. I taught you better, and I like you using your hands on me.**

(17:17) _oh well i’m sorry teacher maybe I need more lessons_

(17:18) **Awful. Just awful.**

(17:18) _don’t be mean your garbage language is the worst and youre the one starting with using my hands on you_

(17:19) _besides i do like using my hands on you too_

(17: 19) _making you squirm_

(17:20) **Awful…**

(17:23) _like maybe I want you over my desk right here right now it’s always the student but maybe I want the teacher spread open_

(17:23) **Dear, I’m trying to make soup. You should be working. We’re not teenagers anymore**.

(17:24) _okay okay but can we roleplay sometime? you being the teacher_

(17:24) **AWFUL.**

 _Guess that’s a no_ , Nadir thinks.

(17:25) _ill see you at dinner ;)_

(17: 45) **behave yourself,,**

(17:46) _that’s a delayed reaction and you used too much comma ohh not even using a capital_

(17:46) _naughty_

(17:46) **SHUT UP.**

*******

The dining table is set when Nadir arrives home, and like Erik texted him, there’s a white young woman at the table, a smile on her face. She has strawberry blond hair to her waist, a bit frizzled, and a nice face to go with. She stands up when she sees Nadir, her smile getting wider. Seeing her in full length, he notices how broad her shoulders are, a bit muscled, no curvy hips. Ah.

Reza looks up nervously.

Erik fills their bowls when Nadir shakes the woman’s hand. “Hello!” she says all cheerily. She doesn’t seem nervous at all. “Reza told a lot about you. It does not –” she then looks down at their joined hands like she’s confused. Quickly, she looks back up again, still a smile. “– disappoint! Not at all! Reza, he could be your brother, with how young he looks.”

Reza gives a nervous laugh. Nadir doesn’t know if he should laugh or look if Erik isn’t spitting fire. “Um, thanks?”

“My name is Judy,” she says, releasing his hand, looking awkward now. “I – um, yeah, I really like your son.”

“That’s amazing with how he is behaving lately.” Nadir says, glad it’s about his son now. He never likes people talking about him.

Reza pouts at him like an overgrown child, but Judy giggles. “Tell me about it, I’ve been friends with one of his friends, and sometimes I saw him at parties, and let me tell you –”

“Dinner is ready!” Reza interrupts them. Erik stares at him, an amusing smile crooked up in a corner. Judy goes back to her seat, while Nadir takes his next to Erik.

“Thank you for having me over for dinner.” Judy says, playing around with the spoon, looking at Erik.

“No problem.” Erik says, and Nadir is in shock with how gentle Erik is. “I want to know the woman who tamed the beast that is my son.”

“Father!” Reza hisses.

“Every single night he goes out, sometimes returning in the morning. He gets that from his dad.”

Nadir, who was about to grab the Turkish bread, stops his hand in mid-air and looks at his lover, giving him a dry stare. “Are we really playing this?”

“I heard stories from Christine. You can’t fool me that you’re innocent.” Erik says smugly, while dipping a piece of Turkish bread in his soup. “He definitely has it from you.”

“Dads.”

“Or,” Nadir grabs the Turkish bread and breaks a piece too. “He has that behavior from you. You don’t care about rules. He never did those things before you came.” He dips the bread in his soup and takes a bite. Oh, it tastes good.

“Oh, I wanted to have a talk, but you said he will come to us. ‘ _We should trust him, Erik_ ’.”

“You French pig.”

“You Iranian bastard.”

They smile to each other, while Reza borrows his face in his hands and Judy laughs awkwardly. “I think,” she starts and they look at her. She looks at Nadir. “he has it from you.”

Nadir gapes with his mouth wide open, and Erik barks out a laugh. Reza stares at Judy with shocked eyes, and shakes his head. “No, no! Can we stop talking about my bad habits, like, how we got together is much nicer.”

And Reza starts talking. How he and Judy got to talk one night during a party, while others were busy dancing, and that they clicked immediately. Judy laughs, saying she’s the most surprised by that, because first she thought Reza was a total douche bag who flirted too much.

Rest of the dinner went nice and quickly, and Erik is right, Nadir likes Judy; with how much she teases Reza. He can see that she adores him too. Nadir picks up the dishes after dinner, and Judy helps him with putting it in the dishwasher. “You really shouldn’t.” Nadir says.

“It’s the least what I can do. It’s nice to see a family of _us_.” Judy says, grabbing utensils. “I’ve never seen a family with, you know, there’s not a official name for us. I have a theory, that we are the first ones and are just developing. The first wizards or Jedi’s. Which you prefer.”

Nadir chuckles at that. “I have to disappoint you, I’m a boring human being. No wizardry here.”

Judy almost drops the utensils she’s holding. “What do you mean- I –”

“Judy, we should be going! _Godzilla vs. Kong_ is about to begin in an hour.” Reza says from the living room.

Nadir smiles and takes the spoons from Judy’s hand. “You heard him. You should be going. It was nice meeting you.”

Judy looks like she didn’t want to leave, staring with wide eyes at Nadir, as if she couldn’t believe what she’s hearing. It worries Nadir. “Judy, are you okay –”

“But,” she whispers, almost scared. “I can feel it in you.”

Nadir raises his eyebrows at her; _feel what_?

Reza walks in the kitchen, wrapping an arm around Judy’s waist, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Come on, darling.” he says. She walks with him to the hallway, and looking over her shoulder, her eyes still on Nadir. He waves at her and puts the spoons away. He closes the dishwasher when Erik says goodbye to them, closing the front door. He sees Erik slumping his shoulders, sighing heavily as he turns to watch Nadir.

“Did I act normal?” he asks, walking to Nadir.

“Terrific, eshgham. I’m proud of you. She didn’t even ask about the mask.”

“Reza told her about my disfigurement. I think that’s why.” Erik stands before Nadir, and he lift his chin, so he can kiss him softly on the lips. “Missed you.”

“We just texted.” but Nadir kisses back, smiling. “Also, about that one text… that was really delayed.”

“Hmm, we should talk about something else.” Erik nuzzles Nadir’s neck, the nose of his mask pricking. He pushes Nadir until he hits the edge of the counter.

“Why? Will the answer surprise me?” Nadir picks the mask, lifts it from Erik’s face and places on the counter. His lips touches Erik’s ear, softly and breathy. Erik squirms. “Hmm?”

“How about I show you?”

***

The summer comes, with Nadir succeeding in his case and finding the missing child; his co-workers did his job by finding her in a basement of an old pervert’s abandoned house. He gets another case immediately after, not having time to breathe. In the meanwhile of that, Nadir got Erik to erase some bits in Darius’ memory. Which worked as always.

Nadir wants to have a vacation, spend time with his family, but he used his days in January, and he regrets it a bit. The days are humid, the air-conditioning not working at the police station, and Nadir wants to die. The only one surviving the heat is Erik. One day Nadir found Reza lying on the ground, with only his briefs on, while Erik strolled around in black pants and a sweater. A sweater!

Judy visits a lot, to Reza’s joy, but Nadir gets the feeling he did something wrong, with how much she looks at him, her eyes narrowed. He tells Erik one night when they’re in bed (sheets kicked off), and Erik laughs softly.

“What did you do to wrong her?” he says. “Absolutely nothing.”

“Then why –”

“It’s all in your mind, dear.”

“She told me she felt something in me.” Nadir remembers.

Erik turns his head to the side so he can look at Nadir. “She did?”

“What did she mean by that?”

“I don’t know.” Erik says slowly, thinking. “You don’t have powers. Never showed them.”

“I said that to her. It can be a mistake.”

“Yes. Everyone makes mistakes.” Erik looks at the ceiling, and Nadir can see he’s not convinced.

Nadir shifts, his body turning to the fan, and he closes his eyes. He feels the bed move, Erik sliding his arm over Nadir’s waist, and normally he would push Erik away with this heat, but he lets him now. His thoughts are still on Judy; what did she feel?

She looked sincere, but at that time, Nadir didn’t think much about it, distracted by Erik as per usual.

Erik falls asleep first, his breath steady and slow. It eases Nadir, listening to him, and he follows his fiancé soon.

*******

Sharp pain hits Nadir in his side, and he gives a yell as he wakes up. He shifts, looking bewildered, and sees Erik trashing next to him, arms swinging. Without thinking, Nadir grabs both of his wrists, and push them back on the mattress. Eyes open, red meeting green, and Nadir knows right away he’s in deep trouble.

He jumps back, trying to get away, but Erik is faster; he slams Nadir against the wall. Nadir grunts in pain, feeling dizzy, and he tilts his head up. Erik looks at him, teeth bare, and looking ready to murder him. No. He can’t –

“Who are you! How _dare_ you touch Erik!” Erik growls.

“Erik, it’s me…” no, this won’t help this time. This nightmare is much heavier. “Please…”

Fingers touch his throat, and Nadir shakes his head.

“People who touch Erik are going to die. That’s her rule.”

Sweat drips over his face, with the heat and fear, and he chokes almost when Erik’s fingers got tighter. No, he needs to help Erik. He needs to wake up. Swallowing deep, he yanks Erik’s arm down, his fingers away, and with his other hand he cups Erik’s face. He pulls his lover down, and kisses him. He hears Erik making a sound of surprise against his lips.

Erik doesn’t push, or pull away, instead his body goes slack against Nadir’s, as if he’s entranced. They keep kissing, and Nadir has his eyes open, looking for golden eyes, and when Erik opens his eyes, it’s amber that looks back. Relief goes over Nadir, and he smiles in the kiss. Erik is shaking against Nadir now, uncontrollably. Nadir holds him, trembling too.

“What happened?” Erik asks.

“I don’t know.” Nadir answers honestly. Why did he kiss? This ain’t some Disney fairy tale.

Erik takes a step back, and he glances at Nadir’s neck, his eyes sad. “Dear –”

“Erik, can we sit? Please, you need to calm down. Your night terror was quite heavy. I’m okay.” Nadir doesn’t even want to talk about what just happened. He brings Erik to bed, holding his hand. They sit, and Nadir rubs his hand soothingly over Erik’s back.

“Whatever happened,” Erik says. “I’m sorry.”

Nadir kisses his shoulder, feeling cold sweat rolling over his back, and Allah, this heat and what just occurred is too much. But he needs to be strong for his partner. Erik skips closer to Nadir, their thighs touching, and he lays his head on Nadir’s shoulder. Nadir wraps his right arm around Erik’s waist, holding him close. Exhaustion takes over Nadir, and he leans his head against Erik’s. His body won’t stop shaking.

“Nadir… do you know why there’s a gate around cemeteries?” Erik asks suddenly.

“No, why?”

“Because,” he snorts. “people are _dying_ to get in.”

Nadir pulls away, to look at his lover sternly. “That’s just awful.” but he can’t help but chuckle a little, seeing what Erik is trying to do. “Do you feel better?”

“Are you?”

“Erik, don’t worry about me.”

“You’re sweating heavily, my dear, you’re burning up.”

“I just need to… sleep.”

“Dear, you’re not okay. _Dear_!”

“I’m fine. Really…”

And he sees Erik’s worried amber eyes before he passes out.

*******

It’s shouting and a warm hand on his forehead that wakes Nadir up. He blinks several times, and he wants to crawl under the covers, his body feeling cold. His vision clears and he looks at Christine of all people. He wants to speak, ask why she’s here, but only a groan comes out of him.

“Sshh,” Christine shushes. “Your body is weak.”

Nadir tries to move, but every muscle hurts, and he groans again. What happened?

“You’ve been sleeping for two days,” Christine says, like she is reading his mind. “Erik told me you passed out, and didn’t wake up. I do have to ask you to stop scaring my friend so much.”

He has been sleeping for two days. He worried Erik, and their son probably –

“I can’t figure out what’s the problem here,” she continues, cutting of Nadir’s thoughts. “You don’t have a fever, though you do have the symptoms. Your body is fighting against something else.”

The door opens, and Nadir sees Erik walking in, no mask, his face relieved at seeing him awake. Nadir smiles in return, though weakly. Erik leaves the door open as he walks to the bed, and Nadir sees Reza and Judy appearing in the doorway, looking worried. Then a mop of curly blond hair pops out, a girl not older than twelve stands behind the young couple. Lisa.

A sharp electric jolt goes through his body, and Nadir arches his back, biting his lip. Christine looms over him immediately, her hand still on his forehead, and Nadir hears shouting. It’s Erik.

“Dad!”

“I-It hurts… _hurts_.”

It feels like his skin is melting off his bones, and he twists his body, screaming into Erik’s pillow. Four hands touch him, caressing, and Nadir wants to slap their hands away. He wants to be alone. Deal this alone.

Footsteps, heels clicking, and Judy suddenly kneels next to the bed. Erik barks at her to leave the room.

“Don’t fight against it,” she whispers, and Nadir barely hears her. “whatever is inside of you, it wants to get out. Accept it.”

“Judy, what are you doing, come on!” Reza grabs her gently by the arm, both leaving the room. Erik slams the door angrily, and comes back to the bed. Another jolt goes through Nadir, and he is now sobbing, the pain unbearable. He thinks about Judy’s words, considering them, but what if he doesn’t fight? What will happen? What’s inside him?

Hand on his forehead, and Nadir slaps it away, growling.

“Dear, Christine is trying –”

And Nadir stops fighting, his body slumping against the sheets, tired, and darkness takes him.

*******

_“What more do you want?”_

_“What?”_

_“Do you want more tricks? I’ll give you everything, Nadir.”_

_Nadir snaps his eyes open. He is lying on the floor, staring at a white ceiling, and he hears a giggle. He turns his head and sees his younger self and Erik sitting on the bed. They don’t seem to notice him, only eyes for each other. Nadir sits upright, his body not hurting anymore._

_“Give me everything, Erik? Why?”_

_Nadir cringes how high his voice is, but he stares, intrigued at this memory._

_“D-Does it matter why?” Erik lays his hand on Nadir’s arm, so innocent, and Nadir sees himself ducking his head, blushing. “I can give you everything.”_

_“I want the Jurassic Park Lego set.”_

_Nadir groans at himself, but laughs after, remembering that Erik did get him that. He has his suspicions about how._

_The scene changes, a whirlwind of colors around Nadir, and he closes his eyes, not to get dizzy. He sees through his eyelids that the colors stop, he opens his eyes, and gasps at the sight._

_They’re teenagers now, and kissing, no, Erik is kissing him, and he himself stands stiff. Nadir shakes his head; he knows what’s about to happen. He pulls away, looking at Erik with disgust. Nadir wants to punch himself._

_“Did you really think I would ever be with you!?”_

_Then the push and Erik clashing against the cupboard. More hurtful words, and Erik is crying. Nadir looks away, to the window, staring outside. It doesn’t take long or Erik is jumping through the window, climbing in the tree. Then he turns again, watching himself and wants to curse, how stupid he is._

_His younger self falls on his knees, sobbing, and Nadir remembers how he felt, the conflicting feelings, and coming to accept it. But too late. Nadir can see the fire. Again, the scene changes, and Nadir closes his eyes._

_The graveyard. It’s snowing and he sees himself sitting, leaning against Erik’s gravestone, despite the cold. Now Nadir does walk, and sees the red eyes. He cried all day. Next comes the university years, the plenty of one-night-stands, the short relationships, never satisfying. Nadir wants to throw up with the many memories crawling in his head._

_Nadir can’t think._

_“You’re mine. No one else can have you.”_

_“I’m yours.”_

_Nadir looks up, his eyes wide, and sees them on the couch, completely naked. Soon enough they retreat to the bedroom ,and Nadir follows, seeing that the scene isn’t changing. He watches how they fall in bed, all clumsily, not caring. They keep kissing, rutting against each other, all too eager._

_Morning comes, and Nadir doesn’t understand why the memory isn’t changing to something else._

_“What are we now, Nadir?” Erik asks, his voice serious._

_“I don’t know… you tell me.” he hears himself teasing. But he does know. He wants to be Erik’s everything._

_“I don’t like sharing. I don’t want anyone touching you, except for me. I’m the only one who can touch you, every single part of your body is mine.”_

_Yes. He wants to be Erik’s, and Erik will be his. All to Nadir._

_The jolt runs through his body, but not as strong. Pleasant even. Nadir doesn’t fight, letting it all come to him, and he feels light, an acceptance. He closes his eyes._

*******

The bedroom  is dark, it’s quiet and Nadir flutters his eyes open, seeing his fiancé sitting next to the bed, holding his hand. He’s asleep, snoring softly through his mouth. The pain in Nadir’s body is gone, he even feels great, and he squeezes Erik’s hand.

That alone startles Erik awake, looking disoriented, drool plastered on his chin. His eyes grow when they settle on Nadir. He jumps on the bed, wiping away the drool and he cups Nadir’s face, smiling wide. “My dear!”

“Erik… how long did I sleep?” Nadir rasps, his throat dry. He lifts his hand up, fingers curling in Erik’s hair.

“Seven hours, oh, are you okay?”  

“I am… I… oh, I smell so bad. I need a shower.”

“No, you need to rest. You smell good. You’re not feeling pain?”

Nadir shakes his head, and he looks at his lover, up and down, resting on the ring on his finger. “You’re mine.” he says, reaching out to Erik’s left hand. Erik says nothing, just staring, observing. “Aren’t you? Say you’re mine.”

“I’m yours.” Erik says without hesitation.

A wave of pleasure goes through Nadir, and he moans, arching his back. It doesn’t get unnoticed, as Erik’s eyes sharpen. “I – I need to fetch Reza and say you’re –”

“Stay, Erik.” Nadir slides his finger over Erik’s arm, distracting. Erik looks absolutely captivated, and Nadir knows he caught him in his web. Everything is new to Nadir, but he let his feelings speak for him. “I want you, so bad. I don’t know what’s happening.”

Erik leans down to him, eyes studying, and he’s so close – Nadir _wants_.

“What’s stopping you from having me? I don’t know if you forgot, and it will hurt me if you do, but we’re engaged.”

“I don’t want to hurt you. I… oh, Erik, this feeling.”

“Come on, Nadir.” Erik straddles Nadir’s hips. Being so close suffocates Nadir, smelling Erik all around him, and he knows Erik is doing it on purpose – _the bastard._ His neck is bare to Nadir, as if he knew, and Nadir bites.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No. Nadir is not a vampire. That's all.


	20. A Change

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't read this chapter with your parents or co-workers nearby. You've been warned.

**_A few hours earlier_ **

“I don’t know what’s happening to him. I’ve searched his entire body, and I can’t find anything at all.”

“There is something!” Erik shouts to Christine, getting angrier with the minute. He wants answers; his fiancé is suffering and they’re standing in the living room like dimwits. The ticking of a teaspoon gets his attention, and he spins around to the sound.

Judy is sitting at the dining table, and she cowers a bit at his frightening stare. Lisa sits next to her, looking out of place, but she smiles at him; she has seen worse from him. Judy is holding the teaspoon, and she stops ticking it against her mug.

“Hm,” she coughs. “I know what he is. At least, what he’s fighting against.”

Reza, who is sitting on the couch, head in his hands, looks up, his eyes hopeful.

“You! You felt _something_ in him. Powers?”  Erik asks, his voice strangely calm. He feels anything but. Judy looks down at her mug, her nails now ticking against it. Running out of patience, he slaps his hand on the table. “ _Talk_!”

“His powers are quite frowned upon, and it is rare.” Judy starts, looking up, scared. “I study my own people, and whenever that power comes in topic, people have varied opinions. Our people call them –” she swallows, casting her eyes down again. “– _Velle_. They have sexual powers. They can attract anyone, they –”

“I know the story.” Erik snarls, but hearing it, what his fiancé is, slaps him in the face. He should’ve known; all the signs were there. “Why now? What triggered him?”

“I don’t know, many reasons. The engagement? Did anything happen before this?”

“I… I had a nightmare. When I woke up, Nadir was kissing me.”

“Who would kiss you?” Lisa cuts in, smirking.

“You brat –”

“Lisa!” Christine says, sternly.

“He wants to claim you,” Judy says bluntly. Reza pales, even Christine raises her eyebrows. “He wants you to be his, and he wants to be yours.”

“I know what claiming means. I…” Erik can feel his heart beating hard, delighted at hearing the news. His stomach is making all kind of turns, and Erik can’t help but smile wide. “I want to be his.”

Judy has a soft smile on her face. “You know when you agree you can’t love anyone else in the same way? You’re stuck with him.”

“As if I want anyone else. This man… my fiancé accepted me for who I am. All my flaws. I will accept him too.”

“When he wakes, and has hopefully accepted his own powers, you’ll have to be prepared. I never experienced it, only heard stories, but the claiming can hurt. He will bite you, and –” she glances at Lisa, then back to Erik, showing a knowing smile. “– _you know_.”

Erik sighs deeply, turning to look at his son. Reza stares at him too, his eyes begging. He nods to him, giving an assuring smile, before he walks to the bedroom, closing the door behind him.

*******

**_Now._ **

The teeth sink deep, drawing blood, and Erik lets out a short yell. It doesn’t faze Nadir, who licks the blood, seeing the wound healing already, but the mark stays. His. He is _his_.  A primal urge floods in, controlling him, and Nadir pushes Erik on his back. He straddles Erik’s hips now, making quick work of his shirt, and then attacks his mouth, smearing his own blood on his lips.

Erik slips his tongue, tasting it, and actually _moans_. Nadir grins at the sound, and kisses him again, teeth dragging over his bottom lip. They get rid of their clothing, Erik just as eager, and he locks his legs around  Nadir’s hips, sinking further in the mattress. They capture each other’s lips again, tongues rolling, and Nadir grabs Erik’s boney hips, humping him like a horny teenager. Erik makes all of kind of desperate sounds against Nadir’s lips, but importantly, how he wants _more_. Nadir can’t disappoint his partner.

While he sucks on Erik’s jaw, his hand searches for the bottle of lube on the nightstand, grabbing it. Erik bares his neck to Nadir, opening his legs, so submissive. Nadir bites again, over the same mark, and now Erik moans out loudly. He even leans up, so the teeth tear through more flesh, and Nadir licks it quickly, healing.

He slicks his fingers, and slips one finger in, drawing out a groan from Erik. His partner breathes heavily, chest up and down, and Nadir starts to move his finger, not waiting. He curls his finger, wiggling around, and he hears Erik gasp when he rubs his prostate.

Erik is rolling his hips, meeting his finger, and Nadir plunges another thick digit in along with the first. He scissors him open, nice and slick, and adding more lube on the tight muscle. He keeps rubbing on the prostate when he can, until he can squeeze the third finger.

“Nadir…” Erik moans, and Nadir looks up, seeing his partner dazes out, a tired smile on his face. “Whatever it takes to claim me,” he mewls, his toes curling when Nadir hits his sensitive spot. “ _Oh god, yes, Nadir_ … just do it, claim me. I’m all yours.”

“You sound so sure.” Nadir says, his voice deep with arousal. He pull his fingers out, and sees Erik frowning at the loss. He smirks.

“I want you, dear. You know that.” Erik practically purrs, arching his hips up, his legs wide open.

Nadir laughs softly, slicking his hard cock and stroking it, teasing Erik, who watches. His fiancé licks his lips, his eyes half-lidded,  looking hungry. “Beg, eshgham.” Nadir puts one finger (not slicked with lube) under Erik’s chin, lifting it up, so Erik has to look into his eyes. “ _Beg_.”

“I want you, _please_.” and Erik sucks Nadir’s finger in his mouth, his tongue warm. Nadir feels his cock stir in his hand at the sight. He smirks, and with no warning but carefully, he pushes in his lover. Erik gasps, mouth open, and Nadir pulls his hand back, holding Erik’s hips with both hands. With his ass against Nadir’s hips, Erik lays his head back on the pillow, his eyes tight shut, and his arms limp. Ready to take.

Nadir is slow first, liking to tease, and he kisses Erik’s neck down to his chest. Erik thrusts his hips, impatiently. Nadir holds his hips firmer, spreading his legs wider, before he sets a brutal space, reducing Erik into a mess beneath him. Skin slapping skin.

Nadir wants to get deeper, and in this position, he can’t with Erik’s legs in the way. Growling, he pulls out completely, and Erik whimpers, his eyes questioning. Nadir pulls him up, heavy in his arms, and turns him; upper body down and ass in the air. He sinks back into Erik, his entire length in him.

Erik grabs the sheets underneath him, his knuckles white, and rolls his hips slowly in a full circle. Nadir slaps his right cheek, squeezing it. “You look so good like this, eshgham, so tight around me. Show me how much you love my cock.”

Erik’s words are muffled against the mattress, but he presses back against Nadir’s hips. His movement is rapid, and Nadir loves to watch, how greedily Erik sucks his cock in, not even ashamed. He thrusts back and Erik bites his lip, not trying to make a sound. Nadir sees this as a challenge, and grips Erik’s hips. He slaps into him, angling just right, and Erik is a screaming mess. Nadir begins to fuck him in earnest, not giving his lover time to breath.

His lover sounds so lovely, panting and whimpering at the same. His eyes roll back in his head, enjoying it greatly, and the sight lets Nadir come by surprise, spurting cum inside Erik. Now he is the one panting heavily, resting his forehead against Erik’s back, holding him close. Erik  hums underneath, and Nadir feels his arm moving.

He realizes Erik is jerking himself off, and just when he wants to slap his hand away, Erik comes, shouting.  He dirties the sheets, and Nadir pulls out. He sees some semen spilling over Erik’s thighs, mixing with lube.

Erik falls on his back, legs spread, arching his back, stretching his limbs like a cat. Nadir collapses on top of him, and bites his neck again, but not hard this time, sealing the mark. Erik wraps his arms over Nadir’s neck, and they kiss lazily.

“Am I yours? Properly?” Erik whispers against his lips.

Nadir looks into his amber eyes. “Yes. I… thank you, Erik.” he nuzzles Erik’s neck, pressing a tender kiss on the mark. Somehow, he knows this mark won’t disappear, like the other scars on Erik’s body. “Thank you.”

“Everything for you, dear.” Erik says, close to his ear. Nadir heaves himself up again, placing his head on Erik’s chest, sighing tiredly. “I should’ve known… about what you are. Your powers. You must have suffered terribly.”

“Eshgham, don’t dwell on the past. It happened. Me having powers is something I have to get used too, and you have to help me. Everything is new to me.” and Nadir sniffs, smelling Erik. Then his stomach rumbles, making a large noise in the quiet bedroom, like a bear is dying.

Nadir and Erik look at each other, their eyes wide, before Erik starts to snort. “Do you want to eat? I can make a sandwich with cheese.”

“Please?”

“Sure, dear.”

Nadir lies on his back, so Erik can get up. He picks up his bathrobe, putting it on and walks to the door, opening it. He stops in the doorway, looking over his shoulder, smiling, his eyes shining in the dark. Nadir smiles in return, before Erik disappears to the kitchen. Nadir feels the luckiest man alive.

*******

The doorbell rings early in the morning, and Nadir is ready to kill the person who’s behind the front door. He doesn’t want to move, and he crawls up next to Erik, shoving his face in Erik’s chest. The doorbell rings again.

“Dear, open the door.” Erik murmurs, his voice tired. Nadir shakes his head childishly, and Erik sighs. He shoves him gently, and Nadir pouts, shoving back. Erik groans, and he sits up, searching for his mask. Nadir sees him growing more confused, as he can’t find it.

“Ugh, it’s probably Christine and Lisa. Dear, do clean yourself up. You do smell now, grab your clothes and shower. I’ll keep them company.”

“Hmm. I don’t want to.”

Erik pulls the covers off him, and Nadir curls up, giving Erik a nasty stare. Erik wears an amusing smile on his face, and he slaps with a flat hand on Nadir’s cheek, kneading it. “Get up!”

Nadir grunts as an answer, but stands up after a couple of seconds, grabbing new clothes. He flees to the bathroom before Erik can open the front door, almost stepping on Ayesha’s tail on the way. Alone in the bathroom, he watches himself in the mirror, completely naked. _Nothing is different_ , he thinks, turning his body and looking over his shoulder. Nothing.

He takes a quick shower, thinking about what happened yesterday night, and blushes intensely. He looks at his hands, opening them, as if they hold the answers he’s searching for. He doesn’t understand his powers, only feeling the need to claim. That ain’t a power. Right?

After the shower, he dries himself off, puts his clothes on, and takes one look in the mirror before he heads to the living room. He sees Christine and her daughter on the couch, but they haven’t noticed him yet, their backs to him. Christine asks about him, still concerned, and he coughs.

Lisa is the first to turn, her blue eyes big, and watches him up and down. A visible blush crosses across her cheeks, and she looks forward quickly again. Christine smiles brightly at seeing him, standing up and hugging him.

“It’s good to see you walking again.” she says after. “Um, I’ve seen the mark on Erik. You’re feeling better now?”

Nadir nods absently, trying to look at Lisa, a bit excited to finally meet her. Christine sees him looking, and turns.

“Oh, Nadir, this is my um –”

“Your daughter. I know. Hey, I’m Nadir, sorry for all the –” Nadir goes silent when Lisa turns more red in the face as he comes near. Christine giggles behind him.

“What is this, Lisa? You’re never this shy.” she teases her daughter, sitting next to her again. Nadir goes over to Erik, who’s sitting in the armchair. He leaning against the edge of the chair, observing Lisa. She definitely has Christine’s hair, but her face is more like Raoul’s; the same nose and lips.

Lisa looks at her hands, playing with her nails nervously. Christine shakes her head slightly, before she gives her full attention back to Nadir. “How did you know she was my daughter? I never told you.”

“That’s my fault. I talked to Reza, and he overheard.” Erik replies. Nadir nods to confirm it, and he decides to give Lisa some space, with how she is reacting to him. He feels Erik’s finger on his back, touching him softly. Nadir expects to be still angry with how irresponsible Christine was, but he feels light-headed, his muscles relaxed, and no worries in his head. It feels great.

Christine checks him once again, placing her hand on his forehead, searching for anything, and after a while she concludes he’s completely healthy. The whole time Lisa keeps staring, and whenever Nadir smiles to her, she looks away.

Reza comes out his bedroom, and he hugs Nadir immediately when he spots him. Nadir hugs him back, telling him how sorry he is for worrying everyone. Christine doesn’t stay long, saying that Raoul is waiting for them. Nadir sees them off, and is a bit surprised when Lisa sticks out her hand, for him to shake. She still blushes, but she smiles at him.

He shakes her hand, and for a slight moment he is afraid she will explode, because how she turns more red. Christine laughs at her reaction, and says goodbye, dragging Lisa with her. Peace returns in the apartment, and Nadir considers going to work, but Erik isn’t having it. So he stays home, having a lazy day and it does good to his body.

*******

Nothing much changes in Nadir; he goes back to work,  the summer is still trying to kill him with its heat, and Reza spends more time at Judy’s, than home. Really, what’s the difference?

Actually, seeing Reza less at home, he misses something. He knows Reza is an adult, he can’t command him to stay home. The apartment seems more empty, despite Erik and Ayesha being in it. With seeing Lisa, and thinking back on Reza at that age, he misses being a father.

He misses  waking up in the middle of the night, with Reza crying at the side of his bed because he had a nightmare. Reza would sleep next to him, save in Nadir’s arms. Now, Reza doesn’t need his help, and Nadir misses it.

Two weeks later he meets Christine again, with Raoul having an important client in Paris, she will visit more often. They meet at _Bercy Village_ , having a drink at one of the many terraces, while Lisa is looking at clothes in the shop across.

“So, what does Raoul do exactly?” Nadir asks, while sipping on his jasmine tea.

“He works for an lawyer firm, as an personal injury lawyer. He has many clients, even here in Paris. He still makes time for us, but I’m a bit concerned he’s working too hard.” Christine answers, and blows on her coffee.

“Raoul has always been a hard worker, even in university. Those were different times.” Nadir smiles a little.

“Oh yes, no memory of that place or my past. It was a peaceful time, but I’m glad to know where I’m from.”

Nadir looks around, and sees no one is overhearing their talk. “So, did Erik already ask you to be his witness?”

Christine nods, smiling wide. “Yes, I was quite shocked when he told me. You were sleeping peacefully, and he asked me. Of course I said yes. We are friends, and Erik did many great things for me.”

Nadir raises an eyebrow in question, and Christine elaborates.

“For being there for me in the Asylum, letting me escape, and when I was pregnant from Lisa. He took care of me, searching the best hotels in every city we were staying. Edward and Erik mostly slept on the streets, but Erik won’t let me. ‘ _You need to be warm_ ,’ he’d say.” she laughs softly. “He was there the whole time I was giving birth, and he almost fainted.”

Nadir grins at the news. “Oh really?”

“Erik is great at many things, but he wasn’t prepared for that.”

He and Christine keep talking for a long time, and Lisa goes to store after store, but Christine keeps her eye on her daughter. Nadir knows the watchful eye all too well.

“I miss it sometimes,” Nadir blurts out, and Christine directs her gaze on him again. “I remember Reza being this curious. It was tiring, but seeing how he saw that the world isn’t all evil, it was all worth it –”

“Mom! I want ice cream!” Lisa barges in their conversation, spooking Nadir, not seeing her coming.

“You already had candy this morning, dear.” she sighs. “Fine, you have to excuse me Nadir.”

“It’s fine.”

Nadir watches how Christine walks with Lisa to the ice cream parlor. He dreams about having a stroll with his own child – maybe a daughter? – and how she has Erik’s eyes, and his curly hair. A daughter he can raise with Erik, and he will adore her to bits.

Then it dawns on him he wants another child, and he’s quite shocked at the realization. He pictures Erik cradling a baby girl, and his heart jumps at the image. Erik will bottle feed her, singing a lullaby so she falls asleep.

Nadir shakes his head at the ridiculous fantasy. They don’t have the room, or the money at that, to have another child. He had heard the stories about adoption, and he doesn’t want to go through that rollercoaster.

Besides, they have Reza.

***

Fall comes, and Nadir  feels blessed with the rain, the everlasting heat gone. He still doesn’t feel any different, and he suspected with knowing he has powers, everything will be different. Maybe he got the most lame powers ever, and he feels bummed out because of it.

And with fall also comes Reza wanting to have a talk, on a day it is raining very heavily. Nadir worries, at the tone his son is using but he and Erik listen. Reza coughs, his eyes looking everywhere.

“I’m  thinking about living on my own,” he starts, and Nadir’s heart stops beating for a second. He glances at Erik, curious at his reaction, and he feels somehow betrayed when Erik nods. “With Judy.”

“B-But you two are not so… I… Erik! Tell him it’s a bad idea!” Nadir nudges Erik, giving him an stern glare. Erik looks shocked at his response, even Reza raises his eyebrows at him. Nadir looks between them. “Reza, you haven’t known her that long! Why leave the apartment? Us?”

“Whoa! I’m not leaving you, or father, just living somewhere else. I will visit, I promise.” Reza eases him.

Nadir doesn’t want Reza to leave; yes, he is mostly gone, with going to work or Judy, but Nadir knew he would come back. “Is she pushing you? I never got the impression –”

“No, dad! I just think it’s about time I live on my own, I’m twenty-one, and  I feel great with Judy.”

“This is very sudden, Reza. It’s hard for your dad to comprehend. How long did you walk around with this idea?” Erik asks, very calmly, and his voice does ease Nadir a little.

“A month, but I wasn’t sure either, but I am now. I promise, I will visit very often.” Reza directs more at Nadir.

He stays quiet during the rest of the conversation, but he listens. In a week Reza will move to Judy’s flat, at _Rue la Fayette_. Nadir feels more alone, thinking about Reza’s room, being all empty. He doesn’t like the thought. He doesn’t like Reza leaving. He raised him here; it was hard, but they had great memories.

The next days he dreads it more, and when he sees the moving boxes, he has the urge to kick them away. Erik helps Reza with packing, while Nadir stares with a sour look, his arms crossed.

The day arrives, and Judy comes with her car, Nadir wants to slam the door right in her face. But his mother taught him better, and he let her in. She helps with loading the boxes in her car, and it’s going too fast for Nadir’s liking. He still needs to teach Reza so much. He can’t go!

The last box is in the car, and Reza keeps hanging at the doorway, smiling at Erik. Then he looks at Nadir, his eyes sad, and Nadir can feel a lump growing in his throat. He doesn’t want to say goodbye. It feels like yesterday he saw him at the pool in Spain.

“Dad,” Reza begins, walking to him. Erik turns behind Reza, looking at Nadir too. Judy is waiting downstairs, and for that Nadir is grateful. “I will call you every day, and I’ll visit every once a week.”

“Did I teach you everything? Are you truly ready?” Nadir asks, and he hates how weak his voice sounds. He wonders if his parents felt this way when he decided to live in Paris. Did they cry?

“I will learn new things every day, on my own. You taught me great things to prepare me, I’ll be fine, dad.” Reza replies, and Nadir sees he’s holding in his tears. “If there’s anything, I can always call you or father.”

Nadir nods, and he feels a tear slip over his cheek. He swipes it away quickly, but Reza already saw, and hugs him tightly. Nadir embraces him back, and thankfully no tears fall. He stares at Erik over Reza’s shoulders, and sees him composing himself.

Nadir walks with Reza to Judy’s car, embracing him again, before he waves them goodbye. As he walks up the stairs, he feels dizzy, and he’s glad when he sees Erik waiting for him at the door. Erik doesn’t ask, he knows, as he opens his arms so Nadir can crash against his chest. He cries.

*******

Reza does call every day, and Nadir is happy about it. The sight of the empty room does sadden him, but hearing how Reza is doing okay, calms him. Sometimes Reza calls Erik, but their talk is always short, but Nadir can see Erik smile when he sees on his phone that it is Reza.

Erik is surprisingly gently  with Nadir, seeing how he is adjusting to the change. With the house being empty, for the exception being Ayesha, always meowing when she needs food, Nadir thought more about having a second child. The images of Erik holding their daughter become more frequent, so is the need in Nadir.

A month after Reza moved, Nadir decides to approach the topic. He comes home, and gets greeted by Ayesha as usual, with Erik just finishing dinner. Nadir gives a peck on his lips, and helps with the table. During it he thinks about how he shall start, since he didn’t give any hints, and he doesn’t want to overwhelm Erik.

Of course he messes it up.

During eating, he blurts it out, no preparation or whatsoever. Erik looks at him, his eyebrows raised, spoon halfway to his mouth. He sits more upright, laying his spoon down. “Excuse me, dear?”

“I – I thought about adoption. A – Another child.” Nadir says, looking down to his food and then back up to Erik.

Erik chuckles, and it feels cold to Nadir, and shakes his head. “You’re joking, right? We can’t adopt.”

“Why not?” Nadir says, playing with his spoon. “I’m serious.”

Now Erik frowns, his eyes narrowing. “Because who in their right mind will give a child to me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, adoption homes aren’t that narrow-minded. We just have to be presentable and kind –”

“I am none of those, did you forget I have to wear a mask? Or my past?”

“You don’t even give it a chance!”

“Because why should I? We already have a great son, and this second one… they won’t love me like Reza –”

“That’s not true, you grab –”

“ _End of this discussion_! “ Erik snaps. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Nothing!” Nadir shouts back, placing his spoon on the table, before he throwing it. Erik acts like he’s asking the impossible, and it hurts Nadir.

“Is it because Reza moved out? That’s not a good reason to have another kid.” Erik falls quiet, looking down as if he’s thinking. Then he adds, “Maybe Reza should visit more.”

“No! I already wanted a second child before he moved out, but since we have a empty room now, what’s stopping us? This house feels empty, and I have this… I want –”

Erik stands up, leaving to the kitchen, plate in hand. Nadir doesn’t give up, and he follows Erik. “They will love you! Okay, we don’t need one immediately, you can think about it.”

“And my answer will stay no.” Erik puts the plate in the sink a bit too hard, and Nadir is surprised it didn’t break. “There will be no child!”

“Why? Because you’re afraid they won’t love you? Your face? What is it, Erik!” Nadir pushes, and he knows he shouldn’t with Erik, giving him the feeling he’s cornered.

“I was lucky with Reza! But not with this child, I don’t want it, Nadir!” Erik turns, his face angry. “Please.”

“Give it a chance…” Nadir says, but he already sees he won’t win this. He sighs deeply, and walks back to the dining table, but doesn’t sit, as he leans against the chair.

“See it from my perspective, dear.” Erik says, his voice calm once again. “I will be the one taking care for it, as you are at work, and someone like me can’t take that pressure. We’re not even talking about money here.”

Nadir hates the truth, and that Erik is making sense, but his feelings overpower him – at the moment he doesn’t listen to reason. “I don’t care about money.”

“You should. Adoption is a lot of money. Then there’s diapers, baby food and etcetera. We’re lucky with Reza being in his puberty –”

“Don’t act like you raised Reza!” Nadir growls, giving Erik a glare. “It was all me! You weren’t there! I am his dad, not you!”

Silence falls in the tiny apartment, and Erik stands more upright, his body stiff. He doesn’t reply, which Nadir expected, to full out bark at him how he dares to say that, even Nadir is shocked at his own words. “I – Erik –”

Erik moves, passing Nadir in hurried steps, and grabs his summer coat from the rack.

“W-Where are you going?” Nadir stutters, taking one step towards his fiancé.

“I’m taking a walk. I don’t know when I’ll return.”

Nadir curls his hands into fists. “Fine! Go run away, it’s what you’re good at, anyway!”

Erik’s eyes harden, and for a split second Nadir thinks he’s staying, but he is wrong. Erik opens the front door and leaves him. The apartment feels more hollow than ever, and Nadir is to blame.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first English written fic. So, this is scary for me. This plot bunny has been running in my head, and I just had to write it. Here it is. Hopefully, it will go somewhere in the future. I also want to thank therandommeerkat for beta-reading it.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Nadir is a difficult character to write, 'cause we really don't know how much about him. So Kay's book is my bible now. 
> 
> Feedback is appreciated.


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